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Do relationships survive this?

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Japan
Timeline

You can learn a lot about your partner by looking at how s/he is handling the whole process. I realized my husband's laziness and disorganized-ness is incurable. I also re-discovered how patient, detail oriented, and overall freaking fantastic I am :rofl: If you control your emotions well, you'll be fine during and after the process:D Good luck!

Married May 2011

10/07/2011: NOA1

12/15/2011: NOA2

01/12/2012: NVC case number arrived

01/13/2012: DS-3032 emailed

01/27/2012: Barcode arrived via e-mail

03/06/2012: I-864&DS-230 sent together

03/13/2012: RFE

04/16/2012: Additional documents sent

05/02/2012: NVC case complete

05/14/2012: Medical

06/04/2012: Interview--->approved

06/05/2012: Visa arrived in mail

LAX POE Review

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Venezuela
Timeline

Great posts!! thank you all of you guys for being so open and honest about it. I am very scared because I like my life here and I am not familiar at all with American culture. On the other hand, nothing is compared to the moments I am with him and the love we have. Definitely I will take into account those advices. I am already looking for that book!! God bless you guys and be with you in your path.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Haiti
Timeline

Hi there! I'm so amused with the timeline of your application...compared to most of us here who are waiting for ages...Anyways, based on my experience and observing other's experiences...Life is really a gamble and You'll never know unless you try...It's not on how long or short your time of knowing or dating or the period of waiting...it's on how the two of you will deal with each other and live together with the commitments and new Life...the culture, lifestyle, and lots more will be some of the factors that will somehow be considered but it's always difficult at first...it will take loads of patients and understanding...just give your best shot to make things work better for both of you...and everything will be okay!don't think much, there's no assurance on our decisions, but at least you're on the track that will make you happy...goodluck on your journey...

Yeah, and I realize we're very fortunate... although we've hit a slight bump at NVC. But that's why I ask. I know how difficult it is for us, and those who wait months... and even years. I can't imagine how hard that is! It's inspiring to me.

2011 - Met online
2012/05/03 - Started "Dating"
2012/06/27-07/16 -
Met in Haiti/got engaged
2012/08/20 - I-129F Sent
2012/08/28-09/05 -
Second trip to Haiti
2012/08/28 - I-129F NOA1
2012/08/29 - Check Cashed
2012/08/31 - NOA1 Hard Copy Received
2012/09/05 - NOA2 (I-129F)
2012/09/10 - Emailed U.S. Embassy in Haiti for Packet 3.
2012/09/10 - NVC Received
2012/09/10 - NOA2 Hard-Copy
2012/09/11 - Called NVC to check status, told fiance's DOB is wrong, but it's right on both application forms. They said send birth cert & passport.
2012/09/13 - Submitted DS-156 online & printed copies (& emailed to both of us).
2012/09/14 - Emailed scanned copies of original application, birth cert & passport to NVC.
2012/09/14 - Called & insisted they fix THEIR mistake. Message forwarded to supervisor. Got an email within 30 minutes; fixed! Called & confirmed.
2012/09/19 - Still in AP (Administrative/Additional Processing)... waiting...
2012/09/25 - Left NVC
2013/01/08/18 -
Third trip to Haiti
2013/01/17 - K1 Visa Denied (he had been given a fake death certificate for his first wife who was killed in the 2010 earthquake)
2013/03/05-20 -
Fourth trip to Haiti
2013/03/14 - Got Married in Port au Prince

2013/08/11-22 - Fifth trip to Haiti

2014/01/26-02/12 - Sixth trip to Haiti

2014/03/12-15 - Seventh trip to Haiti

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Touche! :thumbs:

However, I meant it very tongue in cheek and your post captured the essence of what I did not say.

I think that many relationships break up - divorce or otherwise - because people are hooked on self-gratification and the moment something does not go their way, they are only too quickly to throw it all away and seek the next best thing.

I oftentimes ask others how did the entire population of the world manage to survive before there were cell phones and answering machines? These days, most people can't even manage to sit through a civilized dinner without absolutely having to answer a phone call or reply to a text message. It is as though there is a general feeling, that no matter how enjoyable what you are currently doing, there is something even better out there, out on which you are missing. Technology has managed to eliminate all the ailments of yesteryear of all those who are engaged longtime relationships. Mail used to be too slow, phone calls prohibitively expensive and transatlantic trips enterprises demanding of years of planning.

I think the same goes to relationships. I think many rush into them and want immediate results. You need not go further than these fori to see many complaining about the wait times for their visas. It seems many are desperate to exchange vows promising a lifetime together all the while doubting if their relationship can survive a few months apart.

So back to my comment, I am sure that out of those 50% there are many who are just too immature to endure the process. I meant is as an eye opener so that you know what lies ahead and be prepared to keep your eyes on the destination, undisturbed by the rocks and ditches in the way.

Best. Post. EVER. (L) Love it!

Our 4th anniversary is two weeks away. We survived. We're still on the honeymoon. But in our favor--

Spoke the same language.

Similar culture.

Similar lifestyles.

Same values.

Didn't get engage at our first meeting. Knew each other as trusted friends for many years.

Many visits.

He knew how to drive and didn't hang around waiting for me to drive him.

No money worries.

Mature enough to have gone through tragic life experiences and know waiting on a visa is not one of them.

The people who have to overcome many differences are amazing to me! The people who whine constantly about being apart aren't.

England.gifENGLAND ---

K-1 Timeline 4 months, 19 days 03-10-08 VSC to 7-29-08 Interview London

10-05-08 Married

AOS Timeline 5 months, 14 days 10-9-08 to 3-23-09 No interview

Removing Conditions Timeline 5 months, 20 days12-27-10 to 06-10-11 No interview

Citizenship Timeline 3 months, 26 days 12-31-11 Dallas to 4-26-12 Interview Houston

05-16-12 Oath ceremony

The journey from Fiancé to US citizenship:

4 years, 2 months, 6 days

243 pages of forms/documents submitted

No RFEs

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline

Surviving depends on two people involve on how committed they are in the relationship.

Nothing is easy but things can be done if two person involve works together harmoniously.

I am not sure what is the good statistics of how many couple survive the married life that went thru a lot of immigration process. As for my own stand view, relationship is doom to fail when either one party is weighs more in own personal interest than what's good for the relationship.

It might be too early for me to state this as we're just a little over 3 years together in our married life, but I must say that I still feels that we're newly wed and I think we survive some critical points . Now we're expecting our first little bundle of joy, things are just working fine. We've got a lot of struggles both emotional and financial like most couples do but we're working together to get thru with those circumstances. Love is there and so as care, so being selfless is not hard to do. Good communication always plays a great role towards harmonious relationship.

Lifting Condition (I-751)

09/09/2011 - Sent the package to CSC

09/13/2011 - CSC received the package

09/15/2011 - CSC cashed check and NOA1 Received

09/26/2011 - Biometrics Appointment Notice Date (Sent)

10/13/2011 - Early Biometrics

10/19/2011 - Biometrics Appointment

10/26/2011 - GC expiration

11/25/2011 - Received RFE

11/28/2011 - Sent response to RFE

01/13/2012 - Ordered card production (Approved)

01/19/2012 - 10 yrs GC received

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline

Surviving depends on two people involve on how committed they are in the relationship.

That is the bottom line

Sent I-129 Application to VSC 2/1/12
NOA1 2/8/12
RFE 8/2/12
RFE reply 8/3/12
NOA2 8/16/12
NVC received 8/27/12
NVC left 8/29/12
Manila Embassy received 9/5/12
Visa appointment & approval 9/7/12
Arrived in US 10/5/2012
Married 11/24/2012
AOS application sent 12/19/12

AOS approved 8/24/13

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Touche! :thumbs:

However, I meant it very tongue in cheek and your post captured the essence of what I did not say.

I think that many relationships break up - divorce or otherwise - because people are hooked on self-gratification and the moment something does not go their way, they are only too quickly to throw it all away and seek the next best thing.

I oftentimes ask others how did the entire population of the world manage to survive before there were cell phones and answering machines? These days, most people can't even manage to sit through a civilized dinner without absolutely having to answer a phone call or reply to a text message. It is as though there is a general feeling, that no matter how enjoyable what you are currently doing, there is something even better out there, out on which you are missing. Technology has managed to eliminate all the ailments of yesteryear of all those who are engaged longtime relationships. Mail used to be too slow, phone calls prohibitively expensive and transatlantic trips enterprises demanding of years of planning.

I think the same goes to relationships. I think many rush into them and want immediate results. You need not go further than these fori to see many complaining about the wait times for their visas. It seems many are desperate to exchange vows promising a lifetime together all the while doubting if their relationship can survive a few months apart.

So back to my comment, I am sure that out of those 50% there are many who are just too immature to endure the process. I meant is as an eye opener so that you know what lies ahead and be prepared to keep your eyes on the destination, undisturbed by the rocks and ditches in the way.

I agree. :)

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

The stress of the waiting and the time apart pass. You do 'forget' the pain and the immediacy of that sense of being apart. That is a big plus. That being said, the first year is going to be tough, especially on the person who has moved to the US. You are now together - but he/she has just left behind everything that is familiar and known: family, friends, job, home, often language, culture and country. You've gone from a place where you probably feel quite confident in yourself and who you are to someone who is uncertain and insecure and dealing with new situations, new faces, new ideas, new culture and new experiences every day Sometimes, it even feels like you have lost yourself in your move to the US. Add into that you are now trying to learn to adapt not only to a new country and society - you are trying to learn how to share your living space with a man or woman you love - who in many ways is still very much a stranger.

As mentioned above it very much becomes a matter of how committed are you to the relationship. Not to yourself, or being right, or being 'the man' or 'the woman' - but to the relationship itself. In every new marriage there will be times when things get rough, and even when you love your partner, at that moment you don't particularly like them . :P You are in a process of adaptation and it will often be the little things that you had no idea were so important either to you or to your partner that can surprise you. Sometimes, these little things are really the safe triggers for larger issues that still need to be worked out . It seems that many of the problems you face in the first year or so of learning to live together involved missed or misunderstood expectations. These expectations are not only about each other, but also about yourself. No matter how much you love each other, you are going to find yourself having to face compromises that may seem uncomfortable to you - which ever partner you are, the US one or the immigrant one. This is when you decide what is most important in your lives together. You find out where you can compromise and where you can't. Hopefully, the times where neither of you can compromise won't be over the same thing. Once the honeymoon is over, you will find that marriage is often hard work, especially at first. Only you will know if it is 'rewarding' enough work - and that is where you come face to face with 'how committed are you really to the relationship and to each other'. Your first year will be spent finding out. Hopefully there won't be any 'deal breakers'.

If you survive the first year, the second year does start to get better, and the third year even better again. You begin to find your space with each other and with your new life together. You have figured out what the 'small stuff' is and as they saying goes, you have learned not 'to sweat it'. (Hopefully).

So, I certainly don't want to be discouraging or anything like that . I just want to let you know that the wait and all of its problems do get forgotten when you are finally together -to be replaced with a whole new set of challenges. Like the waiting, though, if you are committed to each other, then it is all worth it, and you will find, when you have hit your stride together as a couple, the growing pains will also recede and life really is good :) .

“...Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

. Lucy Maude Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

5892822976_477b1a77f7_z.jpg

Another Member of the VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse!

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Algeria
Timeline

Yeah, and I realize we're very fortunate... although we've hit a slight bump at NVC. But that's why I ask. I know how difficult it is for us, and those who wait months... and even years. I can't imagine how hard that is! It's inspiring to me.

Miracles never cease! We have to remember that and believe it, especially when we see your timeline! So happy for you really, I hope for you that the last part goes as quickly as the first part. Your story gives me hope in our system.

May God bless and keep you always~ May your wishes all come true~ May you always do for others~ And let others do for you~

May you build a ladder to the stars~ And climb on every rung~May you stay forever young

Bob Dylan

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline

Like the waiting, though, if you are committed to each other, then it is all worth it, and you will find, when you have hit your stride together as a couple, the growing pains will also recede and life really is good :) .

This is a REALLY good post... We are nearing the end of "the wait"... But I am expecting this to happen later on. Not sure how much my fiancee is expecting it, because she is excited and things will seem so shiny and new at first. But that will wear off. For some reason I think I or (we) will want to read this again later. Some very good insight and advice...

K1 VISA / I129F

Vermont Service Center

Received: 1/19/2012

NOA1: 1/23/2012

Touched: 2/9/2012

NOA2: 7/30/2012

NVC Received: 08/08/2012

NVC Fwd To Consulate: 08/10/2012

Notification From Embassy: 08/27/2012

Interview: 09/25/2012 (Approved)

POE: 10/22/2012

Wedding: 10/26/2012

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Turkey
Timeline

That is a good question. We are only in the beginning of our journey and it is taking me forever to go back to US. I wonder if this will affect our relationship at some point.

It would be really nice to hear someone's experience on this.

oh it will be affected believe me. It is not easy.

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Yes people do survive it. We've been married five years.

But it isn't all roses and clovers like it seems to be at the start. The adjustment is hard on the foreign spouse (even when English is a first language and the cultures are relatively similar) and the US spouse is often left having no way to really help with the transition. Sure, the love and support helps, but on certain days, it is challenging for that to be enough.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

We have these concerns to, but one thing we are doing, besides skyping etc everyday, is that I am over on a two week vacation and we rented an apartment. This gives us the perspective (although limited) of where we need to adjust, what I need to prepare back home for her and how we will interact together when we play house for real. It's really, for me anyway, an excellent experience to see how she and her son live so that I can tweak what needs to be tweaked from my perspective before she gets there. She likes lots of sunshine and living in Alaska in the winter, well, that won't happen. But I can' change out lighting and place SAD lighting to help her. It's also good for her because we are really getting in tune to the communications issues that all couples have at first. making sure that we both explain our needs. My point is this will somewhat ease the stress when she shows up. It may not work for everybody, but it is helping us.

January 15, 2012 met on line

April 18, 2012 met in person in Cebu

April 20, 2012 proposed

May 28, 2012 filed K1

June 6, 2012 received email K1 accepted.

August 28, 2012 NOA2 approved!!!!!!!

September 21, 2012 went back for vist number 2

Had a wonderful time!

Interview set for November 6

Flying out November 3 to be together

Arrived November 4

November 6, 2013 interview and approved

November 14, 2013 picked up visa!

November 29, 2013 arrived in Anchorage

November 30, 2013 applied for marriage license

December 15, 2013 civil wedding

February 16, 2013 AOS filed

February 23, 2013 NOA 1 reviewed

April 4, 2013 Biometric appointment

May 9, 2013 AOS intervie

May 9, 2013 Approved ap, ead and green card

May 18, 2013 received Green Card, EAD and AP in mail

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Haiti
Timeline

I think every relationship is different. It is definitely a big adjustment but I want to suggest a book I picked up to help me better understand and navigate the common issues that come up. This book has been a huge help: It's called The Promises and Pitfalls of Intercultural Marriage by Dugan Romano. It talks about everything from finances, in-laws, raising children and more. Wish you luck through this process.

K-1 Journey

11/27/2010-SENT

12/11/2010 NOA1

04/20/2011 NOA2

04/28/2011 Received by NVC!!

4/29/2011 Sent to Haitian Embassy

6/24/2011 Medical completed

6/30/2011 Medical results picked up approved

7/1/2011 Documents sent to Haiti messenger

7/19/2011 Interview date to be announced

7/19/2011 Assigned interview date

9/2/2011 Interview date (NO RFE :)

9/2/2011 Visa APPROVED!!

9/7/2011 Visa in Hand in Haiti

9/16/2011 Passport in hand in Haiti

10/1/2011 POE EWR airport

11/8/2011 ***Married*** :)

11/17/2011 Applied Social Security #

11/21/2011 SS# Recieved

AOS Journey

12/30/2011 AOS Package Mailed

1/03/2012 Notice of Action

1/06/2012 Check cashed

1/25/2012 Biometrics Appointment..completed..

2/11/2012 RFE

3/7/2012 RFE response mailed

3/16/2012 EAD Card in production!!!!

10/09/2012 Green Card production ordered : } no interview

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