Divorcing my wife

[Sandra G. 5,050]

You know when you move to a foreign Country your husband/wife will be your family, friends you have to make new ones, job you have to find a new one as well. This thing about "missing my Country, my friends"....I just can't stand at all. You got married to start a new life, the past you must leave behind, it doesn't mean you won't miss your family and friends, but for God sake all of us started a new life here and guess what? we survived!.If she is 'home sick" already then you deserve better.

Edited September 17, 2012 by sandranj

[Robert&Karen 264]

What is the purpose of a 2-year GC? Why not just go for ten? One would think that 2 years is sort of a probationary period or something.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

What is the purpose of a 2-year GC? Why not just go for ten? One would think that 2 years is sort of a probationary period or something.

It's exactly that (conditional) and some petitiioners depending on the class of visa based on how long they've been married when they filed have no choice.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

You know when you move to a foreign Country your husband/wife will be your family, friends you have to make new ones, job you have to find a new one as well. This thing about "missing my Country, my friends"....I just can't stand at all. You got married to start a new life, the past you must leave behind, it doesn't mean you won't miss your family and friends, but for God sake all of us started a new life here and guess what? we survived!.If she is 'home sick" already then you deserve better.

I agree.

I have been talking to my Fiancee about this and I hope that she's not underestimating the kind of loneliness that could occur here in the USA. Not only my condo compex but seemingly my entire neighborhood goes into hibernation from 7A to 7P with no social contact.

I have made some plans to keep her engaged and occupied but of course requries her buy-in.

This is one of the reasons why we're going to start off on a 1 week road trip from POE and then another 1 week at home while we get married and sort out the paperwork.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

It does indeed involve buy-in from both partners. But this chest-thumping "if you're not tough enough to be bought in from day one, you suck and GTFO of the country" is just grandstanding. Bully for those who had a positive attitude from day one. Hey guess what? That was you. It's not someone else, someone else who may have a very different set of circumstances. I ask those who would dismiss homesickness and distress at a very large life change -- do you really think those are signs of someone who doesn't love their spouse? That that spouse "deserves better" and should move on? Being strong and learning to roll with the punches is very important. So is compassion.

VJ, sheesh.

[Ontarkie 14,267]

One post removed for attacking the OP and one post quoting it.

[Sandra G. 5,050]

Honey crumpet you are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to have my opinion as well.

In my opinion you feel homesick when you have way too much time on your hands. Even when you are working there are so many things to do every day of the week, imagine if you are not working yet. How about to spend some time cooking,cleaning the house, doing the dishes and doing laundry ,running household errands, walking the dog,making friends, volunteering, being intimate with your husband,exercising,searching for jobs, watching tv...visiting visa journey,lol.

"It's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. YOU AND ME ... everyday.”

(Nicholas Sparks)

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I moved to Britain in 1995. Pre-internet. I had a full-time job within weeks, and then moved on to a full-time masters. I worked my ####### off. I was also sad a lot, despite being much-loved. I missed my home, my family, my friends. I went from a city of 100,000 to 6 million. It was tough. But I made it in the end because I had a spouse who was sympathetic.

I had little time on my hands in the beginning. I worked and ran a household. I had no community of others like me to commiserate with. I had no internet. No VJ. I had one call home an hour every fortnight. It sucked. But I made it through grit and love and perserverance.

Homesickness is not weakness or lack of commitment or busy things to do. I'm sorry, I'll never accept that.

Edited September 18, 2012 by Honey Crumpet

[AF-Wife 181]

You know when you move to a foreign Country your husband/wife will be your family, friends you have to make new ones, job you have to find a new one as well. This thing about "missing my Country, my friends"....I just can't stand at all. You got married to start a new life, the past you must leave behind, it doesn't mean you won't miss your family and friends, but for God sake all of us started a new life here and guess what? we survived!.If she is 'home sick" already then you deserve better.

I hope you never have move to another country or even anothe culture, because you have no idea whatsoever. I was homesick the first three months I came here ... But I was strong and made it. Some people aren't and you can't blame them. Everything you knew in the past is gone, you have to adapt to a 100% new life, not just a marriage. Your comment above is by far the dumbest one you ever made. You may know your lawyer stuff, but it doesn't seem like you have a heart ...

[AF-Wife 181]

Honey crumpet you are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to have my opinion as well.

In my opinion you feel homesick when you have way too much time on your hands. Even when you are working there are so many things to do every day of the week, imagine if you are not working yet. How about to spend some time cooking,cleaning the house, doing the dishes and doing laundry ,running household errands, walking the dog,making friends, volunteering, being intimate with your husband,exercising,searching for jobs, watching tv...visiting visa journey,lol.

You can do all those housewive things and you can still be homesick. Little things that remind you of home. Just because you 'clean' doesn't mean you can't think about other things ...

"It's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. YOU AND ME ... everyday.”

(Nicholas Sparks)

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

give her a chance man...sounds like cultural shock to me. it can last 3 months 9 months a year. try counseling

[Darnell 8,478]

so, wyoung92r - any news ? Did you guys reconcile, or she prove up to be a visa scammer?

Or Something Else?

[wyoung92r 0]

so, wyoung92r - any news ? Did you guys reconcile, or she prove up to be a visa scammer?

Or Something Else?

we did for awhile. I was really trying. i took her to my familiy's as often as i could and even though she always said she didnt want to go at the end she was happy she did and then christmas came. we went to my mom's house a few days early and it was about 7pm. she had already been drinking wine but then she pulled out the scotch and ###### hit the fan. I am prescribed pain meds for my leg and she asked if she could have one and i told her no. alot of arguing ensued and then she tried to destroy my moms house and talked about how poor we all were <she comes from a rich family which is why she has never had to have a job> then she said she was leaving. i told her to go in the bedroom and sleep it off but she was dead set on leaving with her son. i was not going to allow a 14 year old to walk down a poorly lit country road in that weather and was definitely not going to put him in a hotel with her so after i told her i wasnt taking her anywhere and that he wasnt leaving she called the cops. this was after she told me she would kill me and scratched my chest all to hell. i didnt tell the cops anything but she was so rude to the cops they ended up taking her to jail and charging her with 3rd degree domestic violence. a couple days later she went back to korea. i told her we need some time apart but i dont think we are going to get back together. i told her that her son was welcome to come back and finish school but we should take some time. she says she is going to go to her court date and i hope she does for her sake otherwise she can say goodbye to her green card which she probably isnt going to get anyway now due to i seriously considering divorce. the problem im having now is we never got her a ss# so i cant file as married on our taxes. the only thing i can file as is head of household and still claim her son since he has a ss#. anyways thats the story man. sometimes love isnt enough. it was different when we fought at our own house but to disrespect my mother like that is unforgiveable. I dont even know where shes at right now so even if i wanted to divorce her i couldnt. im going to go talk to a lawyer and see what my options are but this visa journey was all for nothing it seems like

[Darnell 8,478]

blech.. hang in there.. and thanks for the update !