Doubts part II

[Veiled Princess 1]

So what would you do if someone told you? Knowing myself I don't know if I would believe anyone. People told me my ex was a lying cheat for a long time and I never believed them. Would you even want to know?

If someone had proof I'd want to know... if no proof then I prolly wouldn't believe them anyway.... you know how it is when you're in LUV

Does anyone think interfaith marriages are a red flag?

[jordanianprincess 0]

So what would you do if someone told you? Knowing myself I don't know if I would believe anyone. People told me my ex was a lying cheat for a long time and I never believed them. Would you even want to know?

If someone had proof I'd want to know... if no proof then I prolly wouldn't believe them anyway.... you know how it is when you're in LUV

Does anyone think interfaith marriages are a red flag?

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

[sarah and hicham 3]

So what would you do if someone told you? Knowing myself I don't know if I would believe anyone. People told me my ex was a lying cheat for a long time and I never believed them. Would you even want to know?

If someone had proof I'd want to know... if no proof then I prolly wouldn't believe them anyway.... you know how it is when you're in LUV

Does anyone think interfaith marriages are a red flag?

I think it can be when for example someone is a very strict Muslim and the other half is a very strict Christian.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

I agree with you here. If some lacks respect and tolerance for the other's religion I just don't see how it could work.

[Jenn! 918]

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

Hmm, interesting. Wouldn't that work both ways though?

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

I agree with you here. If some lacks respect and tolerance for the other's religion I just don't see how it could work.

Even if they don't share the same religion, respecting eachother for their choices to me is a huge step in the right direction.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

Hmm, interesting. Wouldn't that work both ways though?

Yes it goes both ways for sure. Religion is not the only thing this applies to. I think all major things should be discussed and agreed to beforehand.

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

I agree with you here. If some lacks respect and tolerance for the other's religion I just don't see how it could work.

Even if they don't share the same religion, respecting eachother for their choices to me is a huge step in the right direction.

I think a good example of this that ties in with recent events is those women who fasted with their husbands out of respect for Ramadan should also expect their husbands to fast with them during Lent if the observe that. That shows mututal respect to me.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

Hmm, interesting. Wouldn't that work both ways though?

Yes it goes both ways for sure. Religion is not the only thing this applies to. I think all major things should be discussed and agreed to beforehand.

I don't think its a red flag but I think they have more obstacles depending on how religious they are. I have also seen this happen first hand.

Maybe red flag is the wrong word... the way it looks to me when someone marries another who doesn't share/respect their faith is like they're just putting up with it to get something else.

I agree with you here. If some lacks respect and tolerance for the other's religion I just don't see how it could work.

Even if they don't share the same religion, respecting eachother for their choices to me is a huge step in the right direction.

I think a good example of this that ties in with recent events is those women who fasted with their husbands out of respect for Ramadan should also expect their husbands to fast with them during Lent if the observe that. That shows mututal respect to me.

I don't see it happening though

[deeshla 0]

I think it all the time -- not just here on VJ, but with the Western women I met in Morocco who hurridedly got married (or met over the internet) their Moroccan men. At first, I feigned approval (when asked), now I just tell it like it is.

What raises my doubt here (on VJ) are women that are constantly talking about how much in love they are as if they are trying to convince themselves of it. Also weird are people discussing relationship problems that seem to show that they don't really know their SO's (these are the kinds of things I expect to hear from first and second dates, not people who are betrothed). At times, these stories read like a script and I can almost predict the ending. Other times, everyone is surprised with what is a legitimate relationship.

I would tell someone I knew really well if she asked me - but I can't step in with someone I don't know -- and I don't consider internet talking "knowing."

Just my 2 dirhams

[Veiled Princess 1]

Hmm, interesting. Wouldn't that work both ways though?

Could you elaborate?

[sarah and hicham 3]

I think it all the time -- not just here on VJ, but with the Western women I met in Morocco who hurridedly got married (or met over the internet) their Moroccan men. At first, I feigned approval (when asked), now I just tell it like it is.

What raises my doubt here (on VJ) are women that are constantly talking about how much in love they are as if they are trying to convince themselves of it. Also weird are people discussing relationship problems that seem to show that they don't really know their SO's (these are the kinds of things I expect to hear from first and second dates, not people who are betrothed). At times, these stories read like a script and I can almost predict the ending. Other times, everyone is surprised with what is a legitimate relationship.

I would tell someone I knew really well if she asked me - but I can't step in with someone I don't know -- and I don't consider internet talking "knowing."

Just my 2 dirhams

I agree with you. I think it also goes back to people sharing their marital problems over the internet. When you know what the specific problem is it makes you wonder how they are married.

[Jenn! 918]

Hmm, interesting. Wouldn't that work both ways though?

Could you elaborate?

Well, you said that interfaith marriages were a red flag IYO because you think that if you marry someone who doesn't share your faith, you must be putting up with it to get something. I understand what you're saying. It is possible that a devout muslim man would only marry a devout Christian woman in order to obtain a greencard. But at the same time, why would the Christian woman marry a muslim man? What is in it for her? Unless you're saying that the type of fraud that this suggests to you would be on the part of both the USC and the foreigner, as in she was paid. If we're talking about one-sided deception on the part of the foreigner, I don't understand how the interfaith issue would come into play.

[chris4336 3]

I just wanted to add another thought on this...as we all know the ideas we have in the US, that a man and woman should date for years and possibly live together so they can "test out" what its lilke to be married are unheard of in the Middle East. My fiancee's sisters knew their husbands before they got married, but I doubt any of them could say they were "in love" with their fiancees before they got married (at least in the way we think of love in this country). His one sister told me many times that "If you think you are in love now, wait til you get married, God will give you so much more love." So I think its a commonly held belief over there that love comes after the marriage. Not saying whether this is right or wrong, but just saying that maybe these men aren't exactly "pretending" to be in love, but rather expecting that the real love will come later on...

[Jenn! 918]

I just wanted to add another thought on this...as we all know the ideas we have in the US, that a man and woman should date for years and possibly live together so they can "test out" what its lilke to be married are unheard of in the Middle East. My fiancee's sisters knew their husbands before they got married, but I doubt any of them could say they were "in love" with their fiancees before they got married (at least in the way we think of love in this country). His one sister told me many times that "If you think you are in love now, wait til you get married, God will give you so much more love." So I think its a commonly held belief over there that love comes after the marriage. Not saying whether this is right or wrong, but just saying that maybe these men aren't exactly "pretending" to be in love, but rather expecting that the real love will come later on...

That's a very good point.

Goes along with my Bachelor theory