Doubts part II

[Ban Hammer 13,293]

where is it? i know someone gotta be offended

[jordanianprincess 0]

.....

Unfortunatly there are a ton of people being used and thats a fact. To act like this doesnt happen would be just plain silly. I don't think there are real tell-tail signs. I think every situaion should be addressed seperatly. The judgments I have made regarding some of the people on VJ have been by reading posts and finding patterns, not by reading timelines and profiles.

Me too...it's only after a pattern that I may start having doubts about the intention of the SO. But at the same time, you can never totally tell. Some people seem like they have it all together and you'd never expect that to happen to them, yet it could.

So true. I mean the person in quetion could just have a rude SO. You never know.

where is it? i know someone gotta be offended

Exactly...Someone

[sarah and hicham 3]

oh my gosh everyone and their brother has asked me if I contemplated the fact that he might be using me for a GC. lol. They did this though without knowing anything about him. Just prejudice and assumptions.

I don't believe that this is the case in my situation only because he is so torn up about having to leave his country and we've actually almost split up over the fact that I can't move there.

I think most people woulod be torn to leave their family even if they wanted to be with their spouse in another country. Wait that might have sounded wrong. What I mean is that I think most people are torn either way if they have to leave their family behind. I do think some are more eager to get to America though.

Edited October 25, 2006 by sarah and hicham

[Veiled Princess 1]

I am pretty sure people have mentioned in this forum before that friends/family members/co-workers etc have said they thought the guy was using them for a GC.

Has anyone been told this and if so, why did you not believe?

My mom has told me this... I don't believe her because it's not true Seriously, because she just doesn't understand and her belief isn't founded on anything other than "any non-USC who marries a USC MUST be using them for a GC"

One thing that has changed her mind about this is the fact that if it wasn't for my kids we would be living there and he'd have no need for a GC coz he wouldn't be here Now she's just scared he's gonna come take me away

[sarah and hicham 3]

There are cases where you can definitely notice that people are being used for the GC. Would I tell them? No. It is a very touchy topic, and I like to think that people are all grown ups here, and that they are smart enough (from reading about this process and reading about other's experiences) to notice if they are being scammed or not.

Well it would be nice to think that everyone here is grown up enough and smart enough to know however some people are so blinded that they just don't think rationally I think. I also think that some people reach a low point of desperation where they want a companion which again makes someone blind... who knows though.

I agree... in the specific case that I know of. This woman comments things, that are red flags for me, and she seems to not even notice. You know? and yes, certainly this might be a case where wanting some company seems to be the key. Even if the company is not good... or does not make you feel good. It just blows my mind... I hope I am never that blind... about anything in life.

I know.. I tell myself on a daily basis never to become that blind in life and love.

[jordanianprincess 0]

oh my gosh everyone and their brother has asked me if I contemplated the fact that he might be using me for a GC. lol. They did this though without knowing anything about him. Just prejudice and assumptions.

I don't believe that this is the case in my situation only because he is so torn up about having to leave his country and we've actually almost split up over the fact that I can't move there.

I think most people woulod be torn to leave their family even if they wanted to be with their spouse in another country.

This has actually been an issue for my fiance and I as well. He is very close with his family and loves living in Jordan. I always wonder about how he will do when he gets here. However this is not what made me believe that he had good intentions. I guess because I'm divorced I really tend to be cautious more so than others. I used that past experiance of mine as a learning experiance and have no anger or bitterness because of it. In any case, there are no guarantees in life and I know that. Don't get me wrong, I don't have doubts but there is no such thing as a sure thing in life.

[doodlebug 3]

I am pretty sure people have mentioned in this forum before that friends/family members/co-workers etc have said they thought the guy was using them for a GC.

Has anyone been told this and if so, why did you not believe?

My mom has told me this... I don't believe her because it's not true Seriously, because she just doesn't understand and her belief isn't founded on anything other than "any non-USC who marries a USC MUST be using them for a GC"

One thing that has changed her mind about this is the fact that if it wasn't for my kids we would be living there and he'd have no need for a GC coz he wouldn't be here Now she's just scared he's gonna come take me away

My mother asked if I was being recruited to blow things up.

[Bosco 1]

oh my gosh everyone and their brother has asked me if I contemplated the fact that he might be using me for a GC. lol. They did this though without knowing anything about him. Just prejudice and assumptions.

I don't believe that this is the case in my situation only because he is so torn up about having to leave his country and we've actually almost split up over the fact that I can't move there.

I think most people woulod be torn to leave their family even if they wanted to be with their spouse in another country. Wait that might have sounded wrong. What I mean is that I think most people are torn either way if they have to leave their family behind. I do think some are more eager to get to America though.

I know that some of the relationships that have ended in fraud included the guy crying over missing his family. I don't think people use another for a GC to get away from their family/country as much as they do for financial reasons - they are not as successful as they would like to be in their country and don't see that changing any time soo.

[jordanianprincess 0]

oh my gosh everyone and their brother has asked me if I contemplated the fact that he might be using me for a GC. lol. They did this though without knowing anything about him. Just prejudice and assumptions.

I don't believe that this is the case in my situation only because he is so torn up about having to leave his country and we've actually almost split up over the fact that I can't move there.

I think most people woulod be torn to leave their family even if they wanted to be with their spouse in another country. Wait that might have sounded wrong. What I mean is that I think most people are torn either way if they have to leave their family behind. I do think some are more eager to get to America though.

I know that some of the relationships that have ended in fraud included the guy crying over missing his family. I don't think people use another for a GC to get away from their family/country as much as they do for financial reasons - they are not as successful as they would like to be in their country and don't see that changing any time soo.

and money grows on trees here.

[Veiled Princess 1]

My mother asked if I was being recruited to blow things up.

Moms say the darndest things

Edited October 25, 2006 by Veiled Princess

[doodlebug 3]

My mother asked if I was being recruited to blow things up.

Moms say the darndest things

No kidding. I'm like, "um....NO!" and she's like, "well that's how they do it now, don't you watch FOX??? They get you into their little circle and then they make you into a terrorist."

[Bosco 1]

What would you do if you thought someone might have intentions of using someone for a GC but has not yet acted on it? I have a somewhat feeling about this happening. There is this guy who keeps throwing himself at my friend, but I know this guy very well and keep warning her that something is off. He tells her that he would like to go home, but tells me that he would love to stay. He has expressed to me and a few of friends that he would like to marry an American girl, but he wont give an exact reason why. I am worried that my friend will fall under his trap because he can be a real big sweetie, but he is also immature and irresponsible. Is there something I should or could do about this? What do you think?

I think this illustrates something. A man who is using a woman is going to say all the right things...I want to live in my country, I don't really want to live here, I want you to live in my country, I never thought about marrying an American woman. There are a few dodo brains that come right out and say "I want to marry an American and become rich" and still find a woman willing to marry them, but in most cases they say all the things necessary to convince the woman of their "sincerity".

[Veiled Princess 1]

My mother asked if I was being recruited to blow things up.

Moms say the darndest things

No kidding. I'm like, "um....NO!" and she's like, "well that's how they do it now, don't you watch FOX??? They get you into their little circle and then they make you into a terrorist."

And they do it in them there mosks don't ya know!? You don't go to those things do ya???

[rob&ana 0]

oh my gosh everyone and their brother has asked me if I contemplated the fact that he might be using me for a GC. lol. They did this though without knowing anything about him. Just prejudice and assumptions.

I don't believe that this is the case in my situation only because he is so torn up about having to leave his country and we've actually almost split up over the fact that I can't move there.

I think most people woulod be torn to leave their family even if they wanted to be with their spouse in another country. Wait that might have sounded wrong. What I mean is that I think most people are torn either way if they have to leave their family behind. I do think some are more eager to get to America though.

I know that some of the relationships that have ended in fraud included the guy crying over missing his family. I don't think people use another for a GC to get away from their family/country as much as they do for financial reasons - they are not as successful as they would like to be in their country and don't see that changing any time soo.

But see? I would believe that people would notice that kind of stuff. People who arent satisfied with politics, economics, status in their home countries. That kind of situation has to come up sometimes when you're visiting or even talking over the net or phone.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with being precautious, even if you havent been divorced. It's for your own good, and there is absolutely nothing wrong from learning from past experiences, or from someone else's experiences. I mean, it is just being smart.

[Jenn! 918]

I know that some of the relationships that have ended in fraud included the guy crying over missing his family. I don't think people use another for a GC to get away from their family/country as much as they do for financial reasons - they are not as successful as they would like to be in their country and don't see that changing any time soo.

I also believe that many cases that we might label as fraud are not as malicious as we tend to think. I think it's often not so much a twirling of the moustache, "I'm going to dupe this stupid woman", elaborate scheme as it is simply, "Oh, I think America would have lots of opportunities for me. This USC woman seems tolerable, why don't I give it a shot..."