Doubts part II

[sarah and hicham 3]

I sure do have my doubts!

So you are saying any couple who didn't have contact like that prior to marriage have a 'doubtful' relationship?

never ever said that. Your shoving of words down my throat with this reply was a bit of a far stretch.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Ok but none of that to me would make me even question the validity of a relationship. If a woman chooses to have chaparoned visits and keep her headscarf on with her fiance and he is respectful of that I don't think that prevents them from knowing each other. I agree that doesn't make it a scam at all, but the real challenge is after you make the final step and get married.

I think what Sarah said was valid. I think alot of members can vouch for that as well. Comparing a courtship (traditional or not) and internet relationships is in no way the same as living together (shacking up or not ).

True enough.... you always learn more after marriage no matter how long you've been together BUT I don't agree that makes the relationship 'doubtful'.

I sure do have my doubts!

So you are saying any couple who didn't have contact like that prior to marriage have a 'doubtful' relationship?

never ever said that. Your shoving of words down my throat with this reply was a bit of a far stretch.

Then exactly what do you have doubts about?

[jordanianprincess 0]

I sure do have my doubts!

So you are saying any couple who didn't have contact like that prior to marriage have a 'doubtful' relationship?

I don't think thats what she meant. I think everyone has doubts whether they want to admit it or not. Its natural to have doubts in any relationship regardless of the country or how you met.

Ok but none of that to me would make me even question the validity of a relationship. If a woman chooses to have chaparoned visits and keep her headscarf on with her fiance and he is respectful of that I don't think that prevents them from knowing each other. I agree that doesn't make it a scam at all, but the real challenge is after you make the final step and get married.

I think what Sarah said was valid. I think alot of members can vouch for that as well. Comparing a courtship (traditional or not) and internet relationships is in no way the same as living together (shacking up or not ).

True enough.... you always learn more after marriage no matter how long you've been together BUT I don't agree that makes the relationship 'doubtful'.

So what in your opinion makes it "doubtful"?

[Veiled Princess 1]

So what in your opinion makes it "doubtful"?

The fact that it's being discussed in the "doubts" thread.

Anyway, I'm going to bed. it's after midnight here. You gals have fun.

Edited October 27, 2006 by Veiled Princess

[deeshla 0]

even if you have had 3 years of an internet relationship that your relationship can only go so far. There is a huge difference between talkign to someone on the phone and living with them, sharing a room, going places together, etc.

Not everyone here chooses to shack up with our SO's before marriage to 'test drive them'

Hmmm, so the spectrum is:

Chaste internet relationship +++++++++++OR+++++++++++Sex orgy from Day One

There are relationships that fall somewhere in between, i.e. people who actually date in person without jumping in the sack. You are the 2nd or 3rd poster to use this example as if anyone not having an internet love affair has immediately started humping the leg of anyone they see In Real Life. Weird!

[jordanianprincess 0]

So what in your opinion makes it "doubtful"?

The fact that it's being discussed in the "doubts" thread.

So you think anyone that is participating or shares information in this thread has a doubtful relationship? I don't think thats what you mean but it sure does read that way.

even if you have had 3 years of an internet relationship that your relationship can only go so far. There is a huge difference between talkign to someone on the phone and living with them, sharing a room, going places together, etc.

Not everyone here chooses to shack up with our SO's before marriage to 'test drive them'

Hmmm, so the spectrum is:

Chaste internet relationship +++++++++++OR+++++++++++Sex orgy from Day One

There are relationships that fall somewhere in between, i.e. people who actually date in person without jumping in the sack. You are the 2nd or 3rd poster to use this example as if anyone not having an internet love affair has immediately started humping the leg of anyone they see In Real Life. Weird!

Also I think its kinda hard to make that judgement when you can't see the first time they had sex in their timelines

[Veiled Princess 1]

even if you have had 3 years of an internet relationship that your relationship can only go so far. There is a huge difference between talkign to someone on the phone and living with them, sharing a room, going places together, etc.

Not everyone here chooses to shack up with our SO's before marriage to 'test drive them'

Hmmm, so the spectrum is:

Chaste internet relationship +++++++++++OR+++++++++++Sex orgy from Day One

There are relationships that fall somewhere in between, i.e. people who actually date in person without jumping in the sack. You are the 2nd or 3rd poster to use this example as if anyone not having an internet love affair has immediately started humping the leg of anyone they see In Real Life. Weird!

Refer to the bolded part please. This post was not referring to the type of relationship you are talking about.

[jordanianprincess 0]

even if you have had 3 years of an internet relationship that your relationship can only go so far. There is a huge difference between talkign to someone on the phone and living with them, sharing a room, going places together, etc.

Not everyone here chooses to shack up with our SO's before marriage to 'test drive them'

Hmmm, so the spectrum is:

Chaste internet relationship +++++++++++OR+++++++++++Sex orgy from Day One

There are relationships that fall somewhere in between, i.e. people who actually date in person without jumping in the sack. You are the 2nd or 3rd poster to use this example as if anyone not having an internet love affair has immediately started humping the leg of anyone they see In Real Life. Weird!

Refer to the bolded part please. This post was not referring to the type of relationship you are talking about.

OK but if you are bringing someone here on a Visa and you are sponsering them, where else would they live? Sharing a room and having sex is pretty large assumption.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Ok but none of that to me would make me even question the validity of a relationship. If a woman chooses to have chaparoned visits and keep her headscarf on with her fiance and he is respectful of that I don't think that prevents them from knowing each other. I agree that doesn't make it a scam at all, but the real challenge is after you make the final step and get married.

I think what Sarah said was valid. I think alot of members can vouch for that as well. Comparing a courtship (traditional or not) and internet relationships is in no way the same as living together (shacking up or not ).

True enough.... you always learn more after marriage no matter how long you've been together BUT I don't agree that makes the relationship 'doubtful'.

I sure do have my doubts!

So you are saying any couple who didn't have contact like that prior to marriage have a 'doubtful' relationship?

never ever said that. Your shoving of words down my throat with this reply was a bit of a far stretch.

Then exactly what do you have doubts about?

Don't worry about it!

[Veiled Princess 1]

So you think anyone that is participating or shares information in this thread has a doubtful relationship? I don't think thats what you mean but it sure does read that way.

Nope. I was referring to when I was schooled for discussing something not associated with the "doubts" thread.

I was actually thinking the same thing. I think this had been a really good thread with lots of valid give and take discussion. No assumptions at all. If it has nothing to do wiht this thead then why discuss it here?

Practice what you preach

Don't worry about it!

Why post it if you dind't want to expand on it?

OK but if you are bringing someone here on a Visa and you are sponsering them, where else would they live? Sharing a room and having sex is pretty large assumption.

Not everyone would feel comfortable sharing a room with or living with a man they're not married to.... sex or no sex.

[sarah and hicham 3]

So you think anyone that is participating or shares information in this thread has a doubtful relationship? I don't think thats what you mean but it sure does read that way.

Nope. I was referring to when I was schooled for discussing something not associated with the "doubts" thread.

I was actually thinking the same thing. I think this had been a really good thread with lots of valid give and take discussion. No assumptions at all. If it has nothing to do wiht this thead then why discuss it here?

Practice what you preach

Don't worry about it!

Why post it if you dind't want to expand on it?

I can share what info I want to share and omit what Idon't want to share. It's my right as a poster.

[jordanianprincess 0]

So you think anyone that is participating or shares information in this thread has a doubtful relationship? I don't think thats what you mean but it sure does read that way.

Nope. I was referring to when I was schooled for discussing something not associated with the "doubts" thread.

I was actually thinking the same thing. I think this had been a really good thread with lots of valid give and take discussion. No assumptions at all. If it has nothing to do wiht this thead then why discuss it here?

Practice what you preach

I don't know why you are acting so childish today You said people were making assumptions and I reposnded telling you I didn't see any assumptions, you said not in this thread, I told you if its not in this thread they why discuss it here?

You are comparing that to Sarah answering a post and us elaboring on what Jean said about Internet relationships being doubtful, the connection you are trying to make is not there. Stop being so catty

[sarah and hicham 3]

So you think anyone that is participating or shares information in this thread has a doubtful relationship? I don't think thats what you mean but it sure does read that way.

Nope. I was referring to when I was schooled for discussing something not associated with the "doubts" thread.

I was actually thinking the same thing. I think this had been a really good thread with lots of valid give and take discussion. No assumptions at all. If it has nothing to do wiht this thead then why discuss it here?

Practice what you preach

Don't worry about it!

Why post it if you dind't want to expand on it?

OK but if you are bringing someone here on a Visa and you are sponsering them, where else would they live? Sharing a room and having sex is pretty large assumption.

Not everyone would feel comfortable sharing a room with or living with a man they're not married to.... sex or no sex.

Ok let's see...you don't want to be on the cheerleading thread or give any details about your immigration process and you're asking me why should I post if I don't want to expand on it? Why are you even on VJ then if you don't care to even share your immigration process with others... it seems like all you do on here is argue with people and post a lot in OT. Why do you post so much here then?

[deeshla 0]

Never said it wasn't possible sowy.

I'm sorry but I think that even if you have had 3 years of an internet relationship that your relationship can only go so far. There is a huge difference between talkign to someone on the phone and living with them, sharing a room, going places together, etc.

Only go so far.....I think its quite clear. You most definlty build a strong foundation on the internet, but I think there are many many members here that can attest to the fact that things changed dramatically once they lived together. Which may I add also has nothing to do with having sex.

Amen to that thumbs up. I agree 100%

[Bosco 1]

However, I know it can work - I have seen it work, and I am sure it will work again. I just cannot see it ever working for me. Like Jenn said, for those of us who haven't experienced it, it is hard to imagine. And, I still cannot forget the sheer number of Moroccan men I saw in cyber cafes practicing their love poems, primping for the web cams and then trying to pick me up after it was all over.

Exactly.

One thing I'm curious about - for those of you who did meet online.... Have you discussed with your SO the circumstances behind your online meeting? How did you distinguish the motives of your own SO who may have been in the cyber cafe with lots of others who were specifically looking for American women?

I don't know why this would be any different than making this distinction having met in person. Guys whose motivation is fraud are not only in the cybers, and they will meet up with tourists or people working abroad, or realize their student visas are running out and find someone to marry too.

Out of the relationships I am aware of that ended in fraud, more had met in person than online. Jenprincess comes to mind, and they lived together. I know a few other non-VJ people. I think Honeyblonde met her first husband in person as well.