About wedding

[girlwithquestions 2]

Just got my k-1visa and it's time to plan for the wedding. My thought is that we are going to have a small court wedding with only a few friends involved. But my family is giving me a lot pressure and they want to have a formal one!!! They are saying this is going to be our 1st wedding and we need to get it memorable. On my side, I just want to get the wedding thing to be simple and as less efforts we can put in as possible. I have already been so stressed about moving, losing my job and all the big chang... I am feeling so depressed....what should I do?

I don't want to upset my family on a small wedding but hate to put a big one as they intended. My fiancé also agrees on a small one ...

[katchoo12 8]

Just got my k-1visa and it's time to plan for the wedding. My thought is that we are going to have a small court wedding with only a few friends involved. But my family is giving me a lot pressure and they want to have a formal one!!! They are saying this is going to be our 1st wedding and we need to get it memorable. On my side, I just want to get the wedding thing to be simple and as less efforts we can put in as possible. I have already been so stressed about moving, losing my job and all the big chang... I am feeling so depressed....what should I do?

I don't want to upset my family on a small wedding but hate to put a big one as they intended. My fiancé also agrees on a small one ...

We decided to do a small court wedding and will do the more formal one with friends and family next summer. With all the changes (moving, quit my job...) planning a wedding within 3 months is just insane ! Don't forget, it's your and your fiance wedding, you do what YOU two really want !

Have a happy one !

[Enigma11561 336]

We decided to do a small court wedding and will do the more formal one with friends and family next summer. With all the changes (moving, quit my job...) planning a wedding within 3 months is just insane ! Don't forget, it's your and your fiance wedding, you do what YOU two really want !

Have a happy one !

Perfect response.

[Darkmoonfaerie 19]

I agree that this is a great response! We're debating between small civil for AOL then a big wedding later or trying to cram everything in. We're leaning more towards option one. It's your day, do what you want. If you feel like you need a compromise for family then meet them halfway and have a fun party but keep it small.

[mtcmk1 37]

We are planning once my fiance gets here to do a small court wedding (just close friends and family) and a fun dinner party (more friends and family.) And then we'll save for a big wedding probably a year later!

[Messybrownhair 251]

Ive attended some court weddings. Youd be surprised how nice they are. Bring guests, make them dress up and go to a nice dinner after.. you can still have it look like a small intimate wedding celebration

have someone with a nice camera take pics!

Edited September 9, 2012 by Messybrownhair

[VanessaTony 3,567]

My in-laws were the big "guilters" for me. My family wasn't able to attend, just my sister and her husband so a HUGE wedding wasn't what we had planned... then our small list ended up bigger and included my MIL's work colleagues, my SIL invited her friends to come and eat (we paid for food "per plate")... and just.. ugh. It was more of a family reunion/party for people I didn't know that WE paid for, then our wedding. Hate is a pretty strong word but I regret a lot of it. Looking back I wish we'd just done a small private wedding and then had parties in either country to celebrate...

My reason for telling you that is, if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. You will end up feeling a lot of resentment and anger about it. My older sister kept ranting about us coming to visit, to the point I had to actually get pretty forceful with her about it. I was sick of hearing it. Perhaps you should sit down with the most vocal family members and tell them to BACK OFF. This is your wedding, not theirs. This is your fiance's wedding, not theirs. While their opinions are appreciated, a suggestion is fine, pressure is not. This is what will happen with kids too so start putting your foot down now.

Good luck!

[Holly2234 66]

Mine was a bit of a mess to be honest.. My husbands family couldnt come because it was in the UK, my mums side of the family didnt want to come (many reasons, all of which are stupid) and my dads side didnt come because we didnt want it to be unfair or too one sided. We did it with 3 friends and my mum (who later ruined it by saying she hated it during the meal.. Out of the 3 friends, one wore a hoody and jeans, another looked like a hooker and her partner was the only one who made an effort!). Now i wish that we just didnt tell anybody and used people who worked there for witnesses.

So.. What im saying is, dont let other people dictate how to spend YOUR day. It is about you and your fiancé.

[girlwithquestions 2]

Mine was a bit of a mess to be honest.. My husbands family couldnt come because it was in the UK, my mums side of the family didnt want to come (many reasons, all of which are stupid) and my dads side didnt come because we didnt want it to be unfair or too one sided. We did it with 3 friends and my mum (who later ruined it by saying she hated it during the meal.. Out of the 3 friends, one wore a hoody and jeans, another looked like a hooker and her partner was the only one who made an effort!). Now i wish that we just didnt tell anybody and used people who worked there for witnesses.

So.. What im saying is, dont let other people dictate how to spend YOUR day. It is about you and your fiancé.

That is crazy!!! I don't know why I need to make wedding such a big deal. It is just a way to extend our relationship as bf/gf. We live our life the same way as before. This might sound naive but really reflect what I think.

[girlwithquestions 2]

Ive attended some court weddings. Youd be surprised how nice they are. Bring guests, make them dress up and go to a nice dinner after.. you can still have it look like a small intimate wedding celebration

have someone with a nice camera take pics!

Your wedding pics looked sweet :-) . Congrats on the news :-)

[bigdog 376]

My wife wanted simple, we went to Las Vegas. Do what the two of you want.

[revtech100 16]

My wife wanted simple, we went to Las Vegas. Do what the two of you want.

X2....do what you want. We will do civil and then after AOS, do a nice church wedding in her hometown. Good luck!

[EminTX 131]

You can also pick a nice scenic spot and go there with a officiant. My city has lots of great places and I bet yours does, too.

Hint--if you want to reduce the drama-makers, pick a place that requires a drive or a small hike and/or is outdoors.

Ours was small and informal with the friends and family that were willing to make the 3 hour drive. The ceremony was on a hilltop in an open-air wedding chapel. A handful of people came, we all went to a small family restaurant afterwards (no alcohol-so less drama and expense!), and then, to be silly, we went bowling as a group. We had the details that we wanted with a celebration that marked the importance of the occasion.

You can find lots of great ideas online and here. Simple can still be very memorable.

Something else to keep in mind, though, with all that is going on. You wedding is one of the best occasions to show your own authority in your life. You are now going to be a team with your spouse and cannot allow the pushiness of everyone else--otherwise, you could be setting a precedent for the future when you have other big decisions and a family. Unless those people are going to be sleeping with you, don't allow them to overrule your decisions.

[JE06 54]

I think you should really do what YOU want to do! Its YOUR big day! Not everyone falls into that "big wedding" category! I personally wanted a quiet beach wedding at first.. a few friends, no family, beautiful and peaceful. But after everything we have been through... I would marry Erkan in a truck stop bathroom if it meant I got to spend the rest of my life with him! At this point we are just going to do a courthouse wedding, quick and done... in a few years we will have a bigger ceremony on the beach- hopefully in Miami somewhere! I wish you luck and don't get pressured into anything, its your big day and you 2 have been through a lot. Do what makes you happy! Just make sure u find somewhere for a great honeymoon, you two deserve it!!!

[JohnR! 5,495]

Just got my k-1visa and it's time to plan for the wedding. My thought is that we are going to have a small court wedding with only a few friends involved. But my family is giving me a lot pressure and they want to have a formal one!!! They are saying this is going to be our 1st wedding and we need to get it memorable. On my side, I just want to get the wedding thing to be simple and as less efforts we can put in as possible. I have already been so stressed about moving, losing my job and all the big chang... I am feeling so depressed....what should I do?

I don't want to upset my family on a small wedding but hate to put a big one as they intended. My fiancé also agrees on a small one ...

You should do what you want to do. They are right. This is YOUR wedding and YOU get to choose what you want to do.

If anyone else thinks you should have a grand wedding, tell them they can plan a huge party, pay for it and advise you of date, time and venue, so that you can be present adn they can be happy! (This is the everyone-wins situation...)