change of status

[boo 0]

My opinion, for what it's worth, is since she won't give you an answer, don't give her the opportunity anymore. It sounds to me as if you've asked her time and time again for the status of your relationship. Maybe it's time to take that decision out of HER hands.

I agree with the others about seeking counseling, and since you don't have much, if any, money to play with right now, Catholic Services sounds like a good idea. (If you haven't done that already...you did mention having made some calls, being able to get help if you need to,etc.)

On a sidenote, maybe I'm wrong about this...but don't all children born to UK/US citizens automatically have duel-citizenship??? Boo, if you're reading this first, don't take my word for that...Meauxa or Mermaid could maybe confirm that? It's just what I've always thought....

I really feel for your situation without taking 'sides' as we have heard nothing from your wife...but I do agree that you definitely sound overwhelmed and need help. I feel for you, and I hope you can find the help you need. I guess, ultimately, what I'm saying is this: if she won't give you an answer, quit asking, and just do what's right for you at this point. As the others have mentioned, getting your AOS straightened out (even if you have to do it alone, as it would seem) should be a top priority right now, along with getting yourself some help...either in the way of counseling or out of the situation..or maybe both. Stay at a shelter if you absolutely must do that...and try not to worry about your children, even though it would be probably be very difficult for you to not be living with them. If she is forced to find someone else to care for them,she will. Put the ball back in your court.

All the best to you...I hope things work out for both of you and for your children.

Take care, M.

hi thanks for your kind words.. but the marriage is over . i have to leave here pretty soon and im now trying to find out the best way to go about this.... like fileing Divorce and finding out massachusetts law i just cant get my head around why ill have to be the one that has to leave wen ive taken care of the kids full time and been the home maker wailst she has gone to work. its like reverse rolls and i need to no what im intitled too... if anyone has advice on what i am intitled to pls pls let me no as i am like a fish out of water right now and need to no were i stand in all this.... thanks.( ps do i have to file befour she dose etc)

the reason im asking all this is because shes all of a sudden desided to take charge of everythink again. And is going to be taking care of the babys... shes allready making plans to have someone else take care of them so i can start making plans to leave... if i get her upset she will kick me out i no it. i have to be very carefull how i talk to her right now as shes already been going crazy at some of my replys to wot i think we need to do next. shes the one that wants it finished but dont want it to be fair and equal.

can i go to my local county court an file for free and under what grounds?

[JenT 0]

Boo,

As John mentioned, don't spend any more time posting questions here. We can't help with legal specifics in your area. You need to contact Catholic Charities if you haven't already done so.

Please check in once and a while and let us know how you are doing, but you need to be focusing outside of VJ right now.

Jen

[boo 0]

Boo,

As John mentioned, don't spend any more time posting questions here. We can't help with legal specifics in your area. You need to contact Catholic Charities if you haven't already done so.

Please check in once and a while and let us know how you are doing, but you need to be focusing outside of VJ right now.

Jen

hi there ive contacted Catholic Charities, they are the people u can me the link too ive been involved with them for a few days now but the thing is i dont have a car and everywere they want me to go is miles away. and i mean miles want im asking on here is can anyone give me some ideas as i dont have a car i live out in the woods (countryside) andmy wife out there working has a car and a lawyer she can go and see wen she likes i have nothink i dont even have cable tv i only have dial up so i cant search the internet an use the fone at the same time plus take care of a 4mth old baby and a 15 mth at the same time plus run the house and try to find help at the same time or do i ask my wife to help me witch i think at this point would go tell me to go take a run and jump plus i dont want here to no everthink im doing the balls all ready in her court shes been running things since day one.i still need some advice fromanyone thats willing to give it im trying all the other options but its very hard for me........

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Boo,

What state do you live in?

[boo 0]

Boo,

What state do you live in?

massachusetts

i come under worcester county

Boo,

What state do you live in?

massachusetts

i come under worcester county

i dont no if i should be putting this out on here but my zip codes 01331

Boo,

What state do you live in?

massachusetts

i come under worcester county

Boo,

What state do you live in?

massachusetts

i come under worcester county

i dont no if i should be putting this out on here but my zip codes 01331

sorry jen i dont no what i typed in ur box at the top but it was ment to say ive been using the link u gave me ok and they are trying to help me thanks for that x Edited October 30, 2006 by boo

[diadromous mermaid 36]

boo,

The Massachusetts Bar Association also runs a free service called "Dial-A-Lawyer". On the first Wednesday of every month, attorneys who are members of the MBA answer questions, from the general public from 5:30-7:30 p.m. The phones tend to be extremely busy during that two hour time period so please keep trying to get through. To use Dial-A-Lawyer call (617) 338-0610.

Divorce Laws for Massachussets

Grounds for Filing: The Complaint for Divorce or Petition for Divorce must declare the appropriate Massachusetts grounds upon which the divorce is being sought. The appropriate lawful ground will be that which the parties agree upon and can substantiate, or that which the filing spouse desires to prove to the court. The divorce grounds are as follows:

A divorce from the bond of matrimony may be adjudged for the following:

No Fault:

Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage as provided in sections one A and B; provided, however, that a divorce shall be adjudged although both parties have cause, and no defense upon recrimination shall be entertained by the court.

(A) A. An action for divorce on the ground of an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage may be commenced with the filing of: (a) a petition signed by both joint petitioners or their attorneys; (B) a sworn affidavit that is either jointly or separately executed by the petitioners that an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage exists; and © a notarized separation agreement executed by the parties except as hereinafter set forth and no summons or answer shall be required.

(B) B. An action for divorce on the ground of an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage may be commenced by the filing of the complaint unaccompanied by the signed statement and dissolution agreement of the parties required in section one A.

Fault:

Adultery, impotency, utter desertion continued for one year next prior to the filing of the complaint, gross and confirmed habits of intoxication caused by voluntary and excessive use of intoxicating liquor, opium, or other drugs, cruel and abusive treatment, or, if a spouse being of sufficient ability, grossly or wantonly and cruelly refuses or neglects to provide suitable support and maintenance for the other spouse. (Massachusetts General Laws - Chapter 208 - Sections: 1, 1A, 1B and 2)

Property Distribution: Since Massachusetts is an "equitable distribution" state, the marital property shall be divided in an equitable fashion. Equitable does not mean equal, but rather what is fair. The court will encourage the parties to reach a settlement on property and debt issues otherwise the court will declare the property award.

In determining the appropriate property distribution award, the courts shall consider the following: 1. length of the marriage; 2. the conduct of the parties during the marriage; 3. the age; 4. health; 5. station; 6. occupation; 7. amount and sources of income; 8. vocational skills; 9. employability; 10. estate; 11. liabilities and needs of each of the parties; 12. the opportunity of each for future acquisition of capital assets and income. (Massachusetts General Laws - Chapter 208 - Sections: 1A and 34)

From: http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcel...achusetts.shtml

The General Laws of Massachusetts

Mass.gov

CAUSES FOR DIVORCE

Chapter 208: Section 1A. Irretrievable breakdown of marriage; commencement of action; complaint accompanied by statement and dissolution agreement; procedure

Section 1A. An action for divorce on the ground of an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage may be commenced with the filing of: (a) a petition signed by both joint petitioners or their attorneys; (B) a sworn affidavit that is either jointly or separately executed by the petitioners that an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage exists; and © a notarized separation agreement executed by the parties except as hereinafter set forth and no summons or answer shall be required. After a hearing on a separation agreement which has been presented to the court, the court shall, within thirty days of said hearing, make a finding as to whether or not an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage exists and whether or not the agreement has made proper provisions for custody, for support and maintenance, for alimony and for the disposition of marital property, where applicable. In making its finding, the court shall apply the provisions of section thirty-four, except that the court shall make no inquiry into, nor consider any evidence of the individual marital fault of the parties. In the event the notarized separation agreement has not been filed at the time of the commencement of the action, it shall in any event be filed with the court within ninety days following the commencement of said action.

If the finding is in the affirmative, the court shall approve the agreement and enter a judgment of divorce nisi. The agreement either shall be incorporated and merged into said judgment or by agreement of the parties, it shall be incorporated and not merged, but shall survive and remain as an independent contract. In the event that the court does not approve the agreement as executed, or modified by agreement of the parties, said agreement shall become null and void and of no further effect between the parties; and the action shall be treated as dismissed, but without prejudice. Following approval of an agreement by the court but prior to the entry of judgment nisi, said agreement may be modified in accordance with the foregoing provisions at any time by agreement of the parties and with the approval of the court, or by the court upon the petition of one of the parties after a showing of a substantial change of circumstances; and the agreement, as modified, shall continue as the order of the court.

Thirty days from the time that the court has given its initial approval to a dissolution agreement of the parties which makes proper provisions for custody, support and maintenance, alimony, and for the disposition of marital property, where applicable, notwithstanding subsequent modification of said agreement, a judgment of divorce nisi shall be entered without further action by the parties.

Nothing in the foregoing shall prevent the court, at any time prior to the approval of the agreement by the court, from making temporary orders for custody, support and maintenance, or such other temporary orders as it deems appropriate, including referral of the parties and the children, if any, for marriage or family counseling.

Prior to the entry of judgment under this section, the petition may be withdrawn by mutual agreement of the parties.

From : http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/dynamic...Fgl-208-toc.htm

Worcester Regional Transit Authority

The Worcester Regional Transit Authority provides scheduled bus service throughout the city of Worcester and 13 surrounding communities including:

Auburn

Boylston

Brookfield

Clinton

East Brookfield

Holden

Leicester Millbury

Oxford

Shrewsbury

Spencer

Webster

West Boylston

The WRTA also provides a variety of special services for elderly and disabled residents in the entire service area.

Worcester Regional Transit Authority

287 Grove Street

Worcester, Massachusetts 01605

Hours of operation:

Office hours are Monday to Friday, 8a.m. to 4:30p.m. (4p.m. for downtown customer service center).

The WRTA also provides demand responsive or paratransit service for the elderly and disabled with its 75 passenger vans and minibuses in the 37 communities. The WRTA is a public, non-profit organization funded by federal, state and local money, as well as farebox and advertising revenue. The WRTA’s service area includes over half a million in population and is the second largest regional transit authority in Massachusetts, serving 37 communities. The Authority maintains a fleet of 44 buses for 28 fixed routes in Worcester and 13 of the surrounding communities. For more information about the WRTA and the communities it serves, visit www.therta.com or call 1.508.791.WRTA (9782).

Catholic Charities

133 Granite St

Worcester, MA 01604

(508) 753-3084

youvillehouse.com

Do you know of someone who needs help?

The Worcester County Food Bank works in partnership with non-profit programs located in 60 communities throughout Worcester County to provide emergency food assistance to individuals and families. To locate a program in your area, please call the Food Bank at 508-842-3663 or click the link below.

For DTA family shelters, you should apply for Emergency Assistance at your local Department of Transitional Assistance office. For non-DTA family shelters or for community beds, you should call the shelter directly.

Massachusetts Department of Transitional Assistance (DTA)

Address: 9 Walnut Street

Worcester, MA 01608

Telephone: 1-800-249-2007

Current DTA clients: 508-767-3100

New clients: 1-800-249-2007

TTY: 508-792-7289

Office hours: Monday through Friday, 8:45 AM to 5 PM

[meauxna 15]

Somebody give that girl a gold star!

Over & Above, dm.

[wildestkabs 0]

Somebody give that girl a gold star!

Sent today through certified mail

[boo 0]

boo,

The Massachusetts Bar Association also runs a free service called "Dial-A-Lawyer". On the first Wednesday of every month, attorneys who are members of the MBA answer questions, from the general public from 5:30-7:30 p.m. The phones tend to be extremely busy during that two hour time period so please keep trying to get through. To use Dial-A-Lawyer call (617) 338-0610.

Divorce Laws for Massachussets

Grounds for Filing: The Complaint for Divorce or Petition for Divorce must declare the appropriate Massachusetts grounds upon which the divorce is being sought. The appropriate lawful ground will be that which the parties agree upon and can substantiate, or that which the filing spouse desires to prove to the court. The divorce grounds are as follows:

A divorce from the bond of matrimony may be adjudged for the following:

No Fault:

Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage as provided in sections one A and B; provided, however, that a divorce shall be adjudged although both parties have cause, and no defense upon recrimination shall be entertained by the court.

(A) A. An action for divorce on the ground of an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage may be commenced with the filing of: (a) a petition signed by both joint petitioners or their attorneys; (B) a sworn affidavit that is either jointly or separately executed by the petitioners that an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage exists; and © a notarized separation agreement executed by the parties except as hereinafter set forth and no summons or answer shall be required.

(B) B. An action for divorce on the ground of an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage may be commenced by the filing of the complaint unaccompanied by the signed statement and dissolution agreement of the parties required in section one A.

Fault:

Adultery, impotency, utter desertion continued for one year next prior to the filing of the complaint, gross and confirmed habits of intoxication caused by voluntary and excessive use of intoxicating liquor, opium, or other drugs, cruel and abusive treatment, or, if a spouse being of sufficient ability, grossly or wantonly and cruelly refuses or neglects to provide suitable support and maintenance for the other spouse. (Massachusetts General Laws - Chapter 208 - Sections: 1, 1A, 1B and 2)

Property Distribution: Since Massachusetts is an "equitable distribution" state, the marital property shall be divided in an equitable fashion. Equitable does not mean equal, but rather what is fair. The court will encourage the parties to reach a settlement on property and debt issues otherwise the court will declare the property award.

In determining the appropriate property distribution award, the courts shall consider the following: 1. length of the marriage; 2. the conduct of the parties during the marriage; 3. the age; 4. health; 5. station; 6. occupation; 7. amount and sources of income; 8. vocational skills; 9. employability; 10. estate; 11. liabilities and needs of each of the parties; 12. the opportunity of each for future acquisition of capital assets and income. (Massachusetts General Laws - Chapter 208 - Sections: 1A and 34)

From: http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcel...achusetts.shtml

The General Laws of Massachusetts

Mass.gov

CAUSES FOR DIVORCE

Chapter 208: Section 1A. Irretrievable breakdown of marriage; commencement of action; complaint accompanied by statement and dissolution agreement; procedure

Section 1A. An action for divorce on the ground of an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage may be commenced with the filing of: (a) a petition signed by both joint petitioners or their attorneys; (B) a sworn affidavit that is either jointly or separately executed by the petitioners that an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage exists; and © a notarized separation agreement executed by the parties except as hereinafter set forth and no summons or answer shall be required. After a hearing on a separation agreement which has been presented to the court, the court shall, within thirty days of said hearing, make a finding as to whether or not an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage exists and whether or not the agreement has made proper provisions for custody, for support and maintenance, for alimony and for the disposition of marital property, where applicable. In making its finding, the court shall apply the provisions of section thirty-four, except that the court shall make no inquiry into, nor consider any evidence of the individual marital fault of the parties. In the event the notarized separation agreement has not been filed at the time of the commencement of the action, it shall in any event be filed with the court within ninety days following the commencement of said action.

If the finding is in the affirmative, the court shall approve the agreement and enter a judgment of divorce nisi. The agreement either shall be incorporated and merged into said judgment or by agreement of the parties, it shall be incorporated and not merged, but shall survive and remain as an independent contract. In the event that the court does not approve the agreement as executed, or modified by agreement of the parties, said agreement shall become null and void and of no further effect between the parties; and the action shall be treated as dismissed, but without prejudice. Following approval of an agreement by the court but prior to the entry of judgment nisi, said agreement may be modified in accordance with the foregoing provisions at any time by agreement of the parties and with the approval of the court, or by the court upon the petition of one of the parties after a showing of a substantial change of circumstances; and the agreement, as modified, shall continue as the order of the court.

Thirty days from the time that the court has given its initial approval to a dissolution agreement of the parties which makes proper provisions for custody, support and maintenance, alimony, and for the disposition of marital property, where applicable, notwithstanding subsequent modification of said agreement, a judgment of divorce nisi shall be entered without further action by the parties.

Nothing in the foregoing shall prevent the court, at any time prior to the approval of the agreement by the court, from making temporary orders for custody, support and maintenance, or such other temporary orders as it deems appropriate, including referral of the parties and the children, if any, for marriage or family counseling.

Prior to the entry of judgment under this section, the petition may be withdrawn by mutual agreement of the parties.

From : http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/dynamic...Fgl-208-toc.htm

Worcester Regional Transit Authority

The Worcester Regional Transit Authority provides scheduled bus service throughout the city of Worcester and 13 surrounding communities including:

Auburn

Boylston

Brookfield

Clinton

East Brookfield

Holden

Leicester Millbury

Oxford

Shrewsbury

Spencer

Webster

West Boylston

The WRTA also provides a variety of special services for elderly and disabled residents in the entire service area.

Worcester Regional Transit Authority

287 Grove Street

Worcester, Massachusetts 01605

Hours of operation:

Office hours are Monday to Friday, 8a.m. to 4:30p.m. (4p.m. for downtown customer service center).

The WRTA also provides demand responsive or paratransit service for the elderly and disabled with its 75 passenger vans and minibuses in the 37 communities. The WRTA is a public, non-profit organization funded by federal, state and local money, as well as farebox and advertising revenue. The WRTA’s service area includes over half a million in population and is the second largest regional transit authority in Massachusetts, serving 37 communities. The Authority maintains a fleet of 44 buses for 28 fixed routes in Worcester and 13 of the surrounding communities. For more information about the WRTA and the communities it serves, visit www.therta.com or call 1.508.791.WRTA (9782).

Catholic Charities

133 Granite St

Worcester, MA 01604

(508) 753-3084

youvillehouse.com

Do you know of someone who needs help?

The Worcester County Food Bank works in partnership with non-profit programs located in 60 communities throughout Worcester County to provide emergency food assistance to individuals and families. To locate a program in your area, please call the Food Bank at 508-842-3663 or click the link below.

For DTA family shelters, you should apply for Emergency Assistance at your local Department of Transitional Assistance office. For non-DTA family shelters or for community beds, you should call the shelter directly.

Massachusetts Department of Transitional Assistance (DTA)

Address: 9 Walnut Street

Worcester, MA 01608

Telephone: 1-800-249-2007

Current DTA clients: 508-767-3100

New clients: 1-800-249-2007

TTY: 508-792-7289

Office hours: Monday through Friday, 8:45 AM to 5 PM

diaddie mermaid.......thank you so much for spending so much time researching everythink for me i cant say thankyou enough believe me this has helped me more than words can say. im going to be going to the welfare office today to be applying for Emergency Assistance... thanks again boo

[JenT 0]

Diaddie rocks!

Best wishes, Boo. One of the agencies you're already talking to might also be able to help with public transportation. Hang in there. You'll get through this.

Jen

[boo 0]

hi just to let u no that i was unable to get any help from the d.t.a. and that im i cant find anywere to live right now because it al the places i have phoned have to be d.t.a based and im not eligable because i dont have any status so im back to square one with thatone there are people still helping but im still at home with my wife and things are becoming worse as time gos on it aint going to be long before theres going to be a complete melt down here. as my wifes been forced into helping me her self.having to take time off work etc. as she wants me out and i have to leave asap im also going down the route of getting help from cc and trying to pursue the (i-360)petiton. plus arranging a meeting with a lawyer and putting togeather everythink i will need. i just want to say a big thank you to everyone thats been there for me. And listened to my plite an given me some very very useful links and advice. thanks boo ......no matter how this all works out in the end. il always remember thos who stood by me through all of this wen i thought i was alone. thanks again boo...

[JenT 0]

I'll be thinking of you Boo and hope things work out. You have to believe that you will be stronger for all of this and that things will turn out ok. This period will be difficult, but you can do it.

Jen

[diadromous mermaid 36]

hi just to let u no that i was unable to get any help from the d.t.a. and that im i cant find anywere to live right now because it al the places i have phoned have to be d.t.a based and im not eligable because i dont have any status so im back to square one with thatone there are people still helping but im still at home with my wife and things are becoming worse as time gos on it aint going to be long before theres going to be a complete melt down here. as my wifes been forced into helping me her self.having to take time off work etc. as she wants me out and i have to leave asap im also going down the route of getting help from cc and trying to pursue the (i-360)petiton. plus arranging a meeting with a lawyer and putting togeather everythink i will need. i just want to say a big thank you to everyone thats been there for me. And listened to my plite an given me some very very useful links and advice. thanks boo ......no matter how this all works out in the end. il always remember thos who stood by me through all of this wen i thought i was alone. thanks again boo...

boo,

Status? Immigration status? No, that's not true. Even undocumented aliens can receive assistance.

Have a look at this information which I posted on VJ last week

Q: I am an undocumented alien and abused. Can I avail myself of any public benefits?

A: Yes. All immigrants, regardless of status or when and how they entered the USA, are eligible for emergency benefits to include:

·Emergency medical care, emergency Medicaid, immunizations, diagnosis and treatment of communicable diseases, emergency mental health and substance abuse services

·Any program necessary to protect life and safety that is not related to income (shelters, food banks)

·WIC benefits

·Summer food programs and school lunch programs

·Public education

Aliens are not required to provide verification of immigration status in order to receive the above civilian benefits.

.

Once you get your intial I-360 filed, and a prima facie case is determined by USCIS, this permits the alien to apply to state and federal agencies for public benefits, under Section 501 of the Illegal Immigrant Responsibility and Immigration Reform Act (IIRIRA). The prima facie determination will be valid for a period of 150 days while your I-360 is pending approval.

Read the Frequently Asked questions that I posted in this thread for more information on what relief exists for abused aliens, and how the abuse waiver works: Relief for Abused Aliens

Also, if unsuccessful with DTA programmes, try

YWCA of Central Massachusetts

1 Salem Sq

Worcester, MA 01608

508 791 3181

Worcester Housing Authority

40 Belmont St

Worcester, MA 01605

508 635 3000

Eliot Community Human Service

14 John St

Worcester, MA 01609

508 754 6166

Come back and let us know how you get along. Good luck

Edited November 3, 2006 by diadromous mermaid

[MichelleandCraig 1]

That's great, DM. Just wanted to say still thinking of you, Boo, and wondering how you're getting along. As others have mentioned, *when* you are situated and have things somewhat under control there, please do come back and let us know how you're getting on. Things may seem bleak now, but there are always those that care about you and those that will help you. Best wishes, M.

[boo 0]

hello it me. just letting u no that im still around and that i have to go and see my laywer tomorrow. im still at home and things are moving slowly but surely. il be in worcester tomorrow so i will get a better picture of everythink wen i meet with them. bye for now i will keep u posted thanks again for everthink......