What happens after they get to you????

[beck26 1]

talk about it.

we talked about it, agreed to do both our best but never expect and understand each other...my girlfriend told me to take it easy for a while and she will tour me around the state at first for me to get used to it and how to live there and communicate with people...so i will not be bored...then i told her that i will find a job after this many weeks and so on...just meet halfway (and commit to what you say) and you guys will be alright.

plus he will surely not be bored, he loves you, so he always got something to look forward to at the end of the day

[hnubno 9]

he was really bored when he was still waiting for the EAD and started wanting to go out more even if it was just to walk or to mall (which he hates). for a while he got hooked on the internet and netflix, then soccer with my brothers, and now it's work and esl classes. when he first got here he said he never knew how he could've lived without the internet (i introduced him to it) but now he gets bored of it but he does like youtube a lot. also before he started working and taking esl classes he use to always want to talk or do something whenever i had free time but i was always tired from work. sometimes he would wake me up at 3am just to talk and i work at 7am. lol now he and i sleep on our free time and when we have days off we talk then (we are less tired then). at home he does the cooking and i do the dishes but we both clean tho. we argue a lot (omg how we argue....argh he's so stubborn but he says i'm stubborn) but we do make up in the best way possible...it's marriage so what do you expect. we both know if the other wasn't there we would miss each other so our arguments never last.

you guys just be strong and forgiving and don't say anything you don't mean. have lots and lots of fun because once he starts working both of you will just be too tired for anything extra. you'll be happy and that's all that matters.

while waiting for his greencard, practicing for his drivers test and taking esl classes is keeping him busy. he does work also. all these things keeps him busy and sane and connected to outside world.

Edited September 7, 2012 by hnubno

[CHarvey80 72]

My wife and I have actually discussed this at length.

She plans on enrolling in a JC near the house to keep herself busy while she waits for her EAD, etc.

We are also going to see if it might be possible for me to take a night class with her so that we can do something constructive while spending time together.

Since I am sure it will be winter here when she arrives there won't be much to do outside and enjoying the beach will be out of the question for the most part.

Should prove to be a fun and interesting time.

[KTandTommy 31]

My plans are to plan our wedding and do a lot of crafting (we're doing a civil ceremony right after POE, and then our big family/friends bash in May).... and I bookmarked a few online courses that I can take for free (mostly photography, but even just general learning). I also plan on daily (or maybe weekly) bike rides to the beach (I'm also moving to Florida!) and hopefully just hanging out with some of our friends who don't have regular 9-5 jobs.

(My fiance's shifts are actually 2:30pm - 11pm, so I'll mostly be looking for people to hang out with at dinner time)

[Rachel & Tom 9]

Ok, so I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and started to wonder what my day would be like if my hunny was here with me. Then I thought to myself...how is it going to be when he just gets here? I will have to go to work and I guess he will just have to sit at home? I mean once we get married and he applies for residency he can start looking for work but in the mean time I have a feeling he is going to get reallyyyyyy bored!

Just wondering how those of you who have already crossed that bridge handled it....Thanks!

Our Visa just got approved yesterday, and I think we are both in shock right now… because we are so happy but then reality hits us and we think “soon we will be living together, sharing everything, doing couple things together…. What is it going to be like?”

Then him and I were skyping the other day and talking about our day to day stuff and what it will be like to actually get to speak to each other in person everyday… Oh my gosh!!!! That just gave me butterflies actually thinking about that hehe…..

The thought of not having to stay in a hotel, and being able to stay in our own bed together at night, and cooking together, go to the movies when we want, go out to dinner if we want, go shopping together and not having to make sure you don’t buy to much cuz it wont fit in your bag… This is stuff that non-LDR people do everyday and take for granted… I think that is the beauty in our relationships that we will cherish things that other couples take for granted….

Im so happy for everyone here and my prayer is that everything goes well for everyone!!!

[beck26 1]

contrary what you guys worry about...we worry if we got too comfortable with each other LOL...we are just too a ease with each other even with our morning breaths and all LOL

[iaia 8]

I can tell you our experience from both sides.

My now husband moved to Buenos Aires to be with me 2 years ago. He didn't speak spanish at all and I was working so he was bored out of his mind. He tried to learn spanish but didn't worked. He worked out, cleaned the house, played videogames, etc...then he started working from home and I stopped working because I was 6 months pregnant with twins. We were both at home and he helped a lot with the girls. He had a job offer and we moved to USA.

We got here and trying to get use to the way of living is complicated to say the least. Back home everything was walking distance and here, you depend on a car 24/7 to do everything. I am now a stay at home mom in a country I don't know well, have no friends, no one who is willing to help with the girls, no car, no job yet. It is boring, depressing, isolating and depressing again. I take care of the girls, work out when they nap, take care of the house and wait for hubby to come home so I can have some grown up interaction. Saying that I'm "unhappy" is not the right statement but I'm def looking forward to find a job a leave the house. It is extremely hard to adjust to a different country even tho I have the advantage of speaking the language.

My advice will be, trying to find some sort of club so he/she can hang out and meet people from back home. Having a good support system is fundamental when transitioning IMO

Good luck people

[M_&_R 77]

I feel bad, but I seriously worry that we'll have a hard time because as a single working mom to a 13 month old I have lots on my plate, and I'm at the point where it's all running like clockwork. I have a feeling he may stop my clock LOL!

He says that during the time he can't work he plans to help me around the house and with the truck, and even do the cooking. I totally appreciate that - and then again, any deviation from routine right now tends to make difficulty in some other area. Not to mention I don't have any extra money to actually cook nice stuff, or buy parts for the truck, or anything like that!

I told him I would be so happy if all he did for the first few weeks was follow me around, chat with me, and just really appreciate how I've taken care of everything here for us. I'm so used to doing everything anyway that it doesn't matter, and it will allow the baby to get used to him being there gradually, before changing routines. While I know he appreciates what I do in theory, I would love for him to see in practice just how much I take on - I'm proud of it, and I want him to see it before we start rearranging everything into our new patterns.

I hope my fiance will be able to relax and be patient. He tends to be the more active type, so I don't know.

I'm just trying to remind myself to be flexible and to be sensitive to what he needs.

M

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

This is a great topic . . . I have been talking to my man and stressing this fact . . that I work and he will be at home waiting for me-Just like I do when I am in JA - waiting for him to come home. Our plan is to put him in school, for him to take a english as second language class (even if I have to pay out of pocket). That way he will have something to fill his days and nites (beside me of course, ) with homework. He wants to succeed and we have plans/goals together and therefore, he will jump into this with both feet and an elbow. The thing I worry about is he will b coming in the winter (Michigan) and how do u explain snow and the cold hawk to someone who has NEVER experienced it? He says he will adjust and understands . . but . . what is he understanding?

Anyways, I think we will be ok for we have lived as a couple in JA and there has been plenty of times when we both just sat, looked and enjoyed each other's company as we swapped flies and baked in the hot weather . . .

Ewwwww...

I think you meant "swatted at"

[Shiobhan 235]

It should not be much of an issue, If U R self-employed maybe hubby can go in with U some days & help/learn ,

Show them the way to & from local library or mall so they can begin to grasp the different culture

research their area of work online so they get fresh ideas, check the paper or free local workshops, have them attend

if they R inclined to do volunteer work encourage them, this could open good doors for later

personally I would not encourage them to just stay home watch TV, be online all day (could spell trouble) or sleep.

All this can make each other have meaningful discussions about your day & next day plans, conversations of discovery etc

example :honey I took the wrong bus/train had to go back......

[SweetieOne 41]

I can not wait for my huzband to join me :yes: !!! Lucky for me we met here in the states (8 years ago) we also lived together as roommates here in the states and back home in Jamaica. Also, we already have lots of mutual friends here in my home state. We have been blessed by being great friends for going on 9 years.

Can't wait and I hope he makes it home for X-Mas...

Have a great week-end all.

[Liam and Kara 6]

I went throught the same thing when I got here, I had a few months to wait on getting my workvisa sorted out,

I just found things to do around the house, asked if there was anything that needed fixing, I also made the effort

to get to know my new inlaws to be, spending lots of time with them getting to know them and them getting to know me. I socialized with her work colleagues and again was like an odd jobs man around their homes, it also gave me time to get all my ducks in arow for the next step on the journey, getting the SSN sorted, driver's license sorted, making wedding plans, just simply taking in my new surroundings and getting to know my new neighbours.....

also tv and computer helped to pass the hours and the odd call back to the home land.

Soon time flies by and your ready to get out working to make a contibution to your new family and begin building the life you had speant the past year dreaming about with the love of your life.

Good luck all will be fine.

[Fight for Love 98]

My fiancé will be accompanied by my mom (she's with me for vacation for 6 months) they will have an in-law bonding lol

yap it will be hard for them esp. if there’s a big different with the time zone (day here and night there) so if that's the case I’m sure he'll be sleeping while you’re not home and he be awake at night w/you. Get u busy lol joking

[Pinkrlion 2,720]

I'm already making a honey-do list! It's so hard being alone and working full time. I can never get anything done around the house. He said he's looking forward to being able to help me.

He also has a boat here that needs a lot of maintainence since he hasn't been allowed to vacation here since last year. This will keep him very busy.

Maybe the guys could buy an old car that needs a lot of work and they can make it a hobby to fix it up? It will keep them busy and then they'll have transportation at the end of it.

Home improvement projects such as painting, etc. This will help them feel that they have contributed to the home.

Here here, he already knows he has some work to do around the house.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I'm already making a honey-do list! It's so hard being alone and working full time. I can never get anything done around the house. He said he's looking forward to being able to help me.

He also has a boat here that needs a lot of maintainence since he hasn't been allowed to vacation here since last year. This will keep him very busy.

Maybe the guys could buy an old car that needs a lot of work and they can make it a hobby to fix it up? It will keep them busy and then they'll have transportation at the end of it.

Home improvement projects such as painting, etc. This will help them feel that they have contributed to the home.

I restore British and German cars (have had couple of cars in international magazines). I am looking forward to restoring a W201 Mercedes I picked up for my Fiancee. First order of business is working with her to convert it from auto to stickshift.

I am saving up vacation hours at work. I'll be picking her up in Houston and then driving back on a mini welcome to America vacation to Los Angeles.

She wants to do internationl retail so I set up a website for her. So she'll be busy learning how to use a computer and building a shopping cart. Luckily I live in a residential area that is close to shopping so she can get out and do stuff. Additionally she'll get a bus/train pass so that she can come to my widget factory (7 miles away) for lunches.

Staying at home and being bored to death is an option, it doesn't have to be that way.