K1 Visa with a substantial age difference

[JLSBMF 16]

Praying for a miracle and hoping someone out there has been in our shoes..

My love and i have been together for a year , madly in love does not even come close to what we feel. I have traveled to see him 3 times in the last 11 months , the first time in Oct 2011 for 5 days , than november 2011 for 10 days and February 2012 for 3 weeks. I have all the proof of relationship , pictures, emails ,receipts everything and anything. Our only issue is there is a 20 year age difference, god just writing that seems so odd becuase it really doesnt matter between us - he is very mature and i am in fabulous shape. Age is just a number and anyone in our company would be able to tell within seconds that its real and we just want to be together..... he is 25 and i am 45.

I have four children my son is age 23, three daughters ages 16, 14, and 9

we are both muslim.

I would appreciate any feedback out there....

Jen

[Thomas&Cleofe 358]

You received 4 pages of replies when you posted this yesterday.

[Ihavequestions 419]

You received 4 pages of replies when you posted this yesterday.

Are you the forum police?

She posted in the K-1 forum and the vast majority of the responses she received were of the "My wife is 90 years younger than me and we just had our 12th baby! Age is just a number! Don't worry!" ilk - NONE of which is helpful to her in her particular situation.

If you don't like it, move along.

Edited September 6, 2012 by Ihavequestions

[B_J 2,752]

You received 4 pages of replies when you posted this yesterday.

I told her she should repost in this forum. Read some threads in this forum and you will see the incredible difficulties that people encounter. The process here is not at all comparable to the Philippines. It seems like a difficult time at the embassy is almost to be expected. It's better that she know what she is facing than go in unprepared because she was told "age is just a number". The people in this forum will give her far better advice on what to expect than we can.

[JLSBMF 16]

People here can be awfully rude at times... yikes!

thanks to all who stood up for me :0

[AmyWrites 593]

You have enough red flags to make this very difficult and nearly guaranteed AP.

Also, I know you'll absolutely ignore this, but the reasons the age differences, the fact that he has family in the US, that he seemingly doesn't care you have kids his age, etc, are red flags is because women like yourself are prime targets from green card scammers from certain areas around the world. It's very common for people to bring others over on a K-1 visa only to find out they "changed" and either don't love the person anymore, if not just flat out disappear once they enter the US and establish their contacts. I'd recommend you read through this forum, the "Effects of Family Changes on Immigration" one (that's the one full of "He left me now what?!" stories), and also, the "Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)" one, since you're very likely to face AP.

[NY_BX 397]

You have enough red flags to make this very difficult and nearly guaranteed AP.

Also, I know you'll absolutely ignore this, but the reasons the age differences, the fact that he has family in the US, that he seemingly doesn't care you have kids his age, etc, are red flags is because women like yourself are prime targets from green card scammers from certain areas around the world. It's very common for people to bring others over on a K-1 visa only to find out they "changed" and either don't love the person anymore, if not just flat out disappear once they enter the US and establish their contacts. I'd recommend you read through this forum, the "Effects of Family Changes on Immigration" one (that's the one full of "He left me now what?!" stories), and also, the "Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)" one, since you're very likely to face AP.

This is what I stressed in the previous thread. K-1 visas have high fraud cases given the beneficiary may simply disappear upon landing in the US and stay here illegally. To that, add all the traits posted and you have a difficult case.

[JLSBMF 16]

You have enough red flags to make this very difficult and nearly guaranteed AP.

Also, I know you'll absolutely ignore this, but the reasons the age differences, the fact that he has family in the US, that he seemingly doesn't care you have kids his age, etc, are red flags is because women like yourself are prime targets from green card scammers from certain areas around the world. It's very common for people to bring others over on a K-1 visa only to find out they "changed" and either don't love the person anymore, if not just flat out disappear once they enter the US and establish their contacts. I'd recommend you read through this forum, the "Effects of Family Changes on Immigration" one (that's the one full of "He left me now what?!" stories), and also, the "Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)" one, since you're very likely to face AP.

Thanks for your input. Im not ignoring at all anything you said - I'm sure this has happened to others but I feel very confident in our relationship . Our families have been friends for years and they are very reputable very affluent I can't imagine any of them going to such a length to get to the states . True there are many things that make our relationship questionable to outsiders but we are just so in love so connected. No situation is perfect ..

I'm positive if I could attend the interview when it comes we would be approved immediately - there would be no denying for one second we are one .

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

You have some significant red flags, but that does not mean your case is impossible. Many (or most) MENA men get AP, even with little or no age difference, and many complete the process successfully.

Your task (and by "your," I mean both you and your fiance) is to convince the consulate that your relationship is genuine. They will want to know how you met, how soon after meeting you became engaged, if you have met his family and if they approve, and much more. They may ask your fiance very sensitive questions about your age and ability to bear children, and why he would choose to marry someone who is old enough to be his mother (something that he would, frankly, be extremely unlikely to do with a woman of your age from his own country, for various reasons.)

Some of the questions may seem quite insulting. The consulate may focus on the friendship between your families, and suspect that an arrangement has been made simply for visa purposes. Be prepared to respond about all of these factors, and to give detailed and persuasive evidence that your relationship developed in a normal manner - from casual acquaintance, to close friendship, to the beginning of romance, to the decision to get engaged.

You have met in person 3 times, which is a positive factor, but 2 of the visits were quite short (5 days and 10 days.) It could only help your case to spend more time together in person, for longer periods of time. Photos of you with his family on various occasions could be extremely helpful as well.

Married couples with significant age differences seem to have somewhat of an easier time, as they are usually able to show much more evidence of ongoing relationship and mingled finances such as joint bank accounts, joint ownership of property, joint insurance policies, etc.

Some consulates are a bit more wary with K-1s. However, Amman is not nearly as tough as Casablanca. I hope this was helpful, and good luck.

[Moh&Tam 2]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am so sick of this double standard with immigration and even what I see here on VJ. If you are a man who is 15 or 20 yrs older than your sweet little oriental or russian bride, guess what?!! NO RED FLAGS!!! Heaven forbid your a a woman with a younger man.

Jen, I am sorry for all the joking and ridicule you have experienced. I say "go for it and more power to you!!". Who cares what people think. what matters is your happy!

Thanks to a few bad apples and given the fact it is the Middle East automatically most cases are put on AP. Even with the CO's in Jordan there seems to be a double standard. If you get a female CO they are more respectful while the one male CO will probably rake you over the coals and ask every question under the sun and all out short of saying "FRAUD" so I am sorry be prepared for anything and everything.

It won't hurt to be there for the interview so if you can try and be there. insha'Allah everything will workout!

[Boiler 45,558]

I was talking to a guy who is of to the Philipines for a year, seems this age difference is not that uncommon.

How common is this situation in Jordan?

[AmyWrites 593]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am so sick of this double standard with immigration and even what I see here on VJ. If you are a man who is 15 or 20 yrs older than your sweet little oriental or russian bride, guess what?!! NO RED FLAGS!!! Heaven forbid your a a woman with a younger man.

Jen, I am sorry for all the joking and ridicule you have experienced. I say "go for it and more power to you!!". Who cares what people think. what matters is your happy!

Thanks to a few bad apples and given the fact it is the Middle East automatically most cases are put on AP. Even with the CO's in Jordan there seems to be a double standard. If you get a female CO they are more respectful while the one male CO will probably rake you over the coals and ask every question under the sun and all out short of saying "FRAUD" so I am sorry be prepared for anything and everything.

It won't hurt to be there for the interview so if you can try and be there. insha'Allah everything will workout!

You're missing the point. Since it's not common in MENA countries, it's viewed as a red flag.

[sandinista! 1,816]

You're missing the point. Since it's not common in MENA countries, it's viewed as a red flag.

but, but making out everyone in immigration as being big, bad, evil, and ageist ogres is such an effective deflection from that point...

[Moh&Tam 2]

AmyWrites, I didn't miss the point you didn't read what I said "most cases are automatically put in AP" period! It doesn't matter the age, culture, same religion, red flags are not they just are sent there in almost all MENA cases.

There really isn't any red flags in my case but I am sure we will be put in AP when the time comes. Recently the cases at the Amman Embassy seem to be having a double standard as well depending on the CO.

Sandanista, I hope you weren't implying that I meant all immigration staff are ogres. I don't mean that in general alhumdolllah everyone I have had to talk with have been nice. I was just referring to the double standard in general. HUGS

[JLSBMF 16]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am so sick of this double standard with immigration and even what I see here on VJ. If you are a man who is 15 or 20 yrs older than your sweet little oriental or russian bride, guess what?!! NO RED FLAGS!!! Heaven forbid your a a woman with a younger man.

Jen, I am sorry for all the joking and ridicule you have experienced. I say "go for it and more power to you!!". Who cares what people think. what matters is your happy!

Thanks to a few bad apples and given the fact it is the Middle East automatically most cases are put on AP. Even with the CO's in Jordan there seems to be a double standard. If you get a female CO they are more respectful while the one male CO will probably rake you over the coals and ask every question under the sun and all out short of saying "FRAUD" so I am sorry be prepared for anything and everything.

It won't hurt to be there for the interview so if you can try and be there. insha'Allah everything will workout!

i agree - its absurd a man can do this daily without a second thought and us woman are deemed to be naive , gullable and dying for a younger man no matter the cost... i can honestly say that i could have my pick of men - foreign , domestic , older or younger and all i want is him - simple he is my world

as they say inshallah khair / allah kareem