Should i take a risk ?

[Samara 4]

Dear All,

Please i need your advise with regards to the below issue.

I was granted a fiancee visa which expires on 21 oct 2012, I have a son with my fiance who is an american citizen as he was born in America. My fiance was married before with 2 kids, when his ex found out that i was coming she was so bitter and jealous so she begged my fiance to get back together for the kids sake. My fiance wants me to go there and marry him but at the same time marry his Ex wife for the children sake through religious ceremony only. I totally refused and told him that i can never except that. I have the following questions:

a) Can i go to the USA so that my son can be closer to his dad but i do not want to marry him. What will happen to my status? can i go to the immigration and explain to them the issue? Will they help me considering i have a child with him. can I go and apply for child support?

B]I have good Job where i am i dont want to jeorpadise my Job to go to the states and be stranded. But i feel sorry for my son that he will grow up without knowing his dad. What do you guys sugest?

Thank you.

[Asia 2,499]

Getting married is a MUST DO when you come to the US using K1 visa.

That's the requirement to stay in the US legally with no hassle.

Dunno about the child support.

He can't have two wifes in the US, can he?

[canadian_wife 1,829]

a) no immigration will not take any considerations into your case

b) your fiance wants his cake and eat it too. Is a polygamist the role modle you want for your son?

You have some tough answers to those questions. You cannot, however, simply go to the US and stay. If you do not want to marry your fiance, then do not travel to the US

Good luck

[Touch of Treble 39]

Sometimes it is easy to miss the really important issues when we get caught up in the hope of an ideal situation.

Some children grow up never knowing one of their parents and they are still happy, well-adjusted people. What is most important is that the parent they are with loves them unconditionally.

I hope you have the time to think carefully about your future, and that of your child. The child's father can always come over to visit his son. If you no longer want to marry him, what would be the point of totally uprooting yourself, leaving job and family security, friends, everything, so that your son can see his Dad sometimes...

Sorry that this has happened to you.

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

**** Moving from K1 to Effects of Major changes ****

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Dear All,

Please i need your advise with regards to the below issue.

I was granted a fiancee visa which expires on 21 oct 2012, I have a son with my fiance who is an american citizen as he was born in America. My fiance was married before with 2 kids, when his ex found out that i was coming she was so bitter and jealous so she begged my fiance to get back together for the kids sake. My fiance wants me to go there and marry him but at the same time marry his Ex wife for the children sake through religious ceremony only. I totally refused and told him that i can never except that. I have the following questions:

a) Can i go to the USA so that my son can be closer to his dad but i do not want to marry him. What will happen to my status? can i go to the immigration and explain to them the issue? Will they help me considering i have a child with him. can I go and apply for child support?

B]I have good Job where i am i dont want to jeorpadise my Job to go to the states and be stranded. But i feel sorry for my son that he will grow up without knowing his dad. What do you guys sugest?

Thank you.

I think that you need to stay over there and without the shadow of a doubt.

He can still have a relationship with his Son and he can still send you an appropriate amount for child support over there. I think you being here, based on what you said, will be problematic for him and the Son.

[Darnell 8,479]

My advice - stay home. Don't come over on a K-1 visa at all. Simply do nothing more with this man.

Good Luck !

[Sandra G. 5,064]

You deserve to be treated with respect, and clearly he is an #######. Regarding immigration you can't explain to them your situation, or you get married and live with him or not.

Edited September 5, 2012 by sandranj

[aaron2020 11,651]

Dear All,

Please i need your advise with regards to the below issue.

I was granted a fiancee visa which expires on 21 oct 2012, I have a son with my fiance who is an american citizen as he was born in America. My fiance was married before with 2 kids, when his ex found out that i was coming she was so bitter and jealous so she begged my fiance to get back together for the kids sake. My fiance wants me to go there and marry him but at the same time marry his Ex wife for the children sake through religious ceremony only. I totally refused and told him that i can never except that. I have the following questions:

a) Can i go to the USA so that my son can be closer to his dad but i do not want to marry him. What will happen to my status? can i go to the immigration and explain to them the issue? Will they help me considering i have a child with him. can I go and apply for child support?

B]I have good Job where i am i dont want to jeorpadise my Job to go to the states and be stranded. But i feel sorry for my son that he will grow up without knowing his dad. What do you guys sugest?

Thank you.

Good for you for getting rid of that loser.

Unfortunately, there is no way for you to legally live or work in the US at this point.

Having a US citizen child does not matter. A US citizen child must be age 21 to petition for a parent. So, you cannot receive any immigration benefit through your child until he turns 21.

If you use the K-1 to come to the US and not marry, then you will become a visa overstay. A visa overstay is essentially an illegal immigrant. You would end up living in the US illegally without the right to work. You could be deported. Custody of your child could go to the father. You could be barred from the US for 10 years. Your child might not be allowed to leave with you.

Lots of bad things can happen if you use the K-1 visa, so pleases don't use it since you do not intend to get marry.

You can sue the father for child support in a US court. You and your child can remain in your country. You will need a US lawyer.

Good luck.

[Jalos-LongBeach 7]

I agre with all the previous post. Especially the one about you being deported and him taking custody of the child. In the end that may be what he wants. To get you here with the child and then try to convince you to leave the child here or find a legal way to take him from you.

You are obviously not his priority. For all you know that is his plan and his ex-wife has even promised to help him raise your child all in the hopes of getting him back.

Either way you will complicate the ####### out of your life just to ve with a man that doesnt really know what he wants.

[pieroot 43]

Sometimes it is easy to miss the really important issues when we get caught up in the hope of an ideal situation.

Some children grow up never knowing one of their parents and they are still happy, well-adjusted people. What is most important is that the parent they are with loves them unconditionally.

I hope you have the time to think carefully about your future, and that of your child. The child's father can always come over to visit his son. If you no longer want to marry him, what would be the point of totally uprooting yourself, leaving job and family security, friends, everything, so that your son can see his Dad sometimes...

Sorry that this has happened to you.

I totally agree with Chippy's girl. Please listen to her advice and act accordingly to what is in your son's best interest.

[DandT14 272]

Dear All,

Please i need your advise with regards to the below issue.

I was granted a fiancee visa which expires on 21 oct 2012, I have a son with my fiance who is an american citizen as he was born in America. My fiance was married before with 2 kids, when his ex found out that i was coming she was so bitter and jealous so she begged my fiance to get back together for the kids sake. My fiance wants me to go there and marry him but at the same time marry his Ex wife for the children sake through religious ceremony only. I totally refused and told him that i can never except that. I have the following questions:

a) Can i go to the USA so that my son can be closer to his dad but i do not want to marry him. What will happen to my status? can i go to the immigration and explain to them the issue? Will they help me considering i have a child with him. can I go and apply for child support?

B]I have good Job where i am i dont want to jeorpadise my Job to go to the states and be stranded. But i feel sorry for my son that he will grow up without knowing his dad. What do you guys sugest?

Thank you.

I would feel more sorry for your son if you dragged him to another country chasing a man who clearly doesn't want you. Sorry to be harsh, but that's the reality.

You can't take a risk, because you'd be risking your son. Stay there and make the best possible life for him.

[NY_BX 397]

Dear All,

Please i need your advise with regards to the below issue.

I was granted a fiancee visa which expires on 21 oct 2012, I have a son with my fiance who is an american citizen as he was born in America. My fiance was married before with 2 kids, when his ex found out that i was coming she was so bitter and jealous so she begged my fiance to get back together for the kids sake. My fiance wants me to go there and marry him but at the same time marry his Ex wife for the children sake through religious ceremony only. I totally refused and told him that i can never except that. I have the following questions:

a) Can i go to the USA so that my son can be closer to his dad but i do not want to marry him. What will happen to my status? can i go to the immigration and explain to them the issue? Will they help me considering i have a child with him. can I go and apply for child support?

B]I have good Job where i am i dont want to jeorpadise my Job to go to the states and be stranded. But i feel sorry for my son that he will grow up without knowing his dad. What do you guys sugest?

Thank you.

First, a USC isn't allowed to be a bigamist. Even if it's a religious ceremony, if its recognized by the country (wherever the ex-wife is from) it may be recognizable in the US. That's one of the main issues with MENA countries. This is a clear example of scam/ con marriages all the way around: a USC committing fraud. Which leads me to..

Second, this man is capable of hurting you legally and financially, given the story you've posted. So, you met your fiance, went to the US, conceived and gave birth to your son and returned to your home country? Are you very sure he wasn't married by then?

Third, to answer your questions- there's nothing you can do. USCIS won't care if you have a child or not with him. You can, however, ask for child support.

For your own sake, stay home. You will be in the US illegally if you do not intend to marry him. Then you may be deported, but without your son.

Good luck

[Fight for Love 98]

file for child support and dump him

[InHisTime 110]

Hello there! I feel you are taking a big risk. Please don't create more problem. It's fine for your son, as long you show him the best of mother's love. You have a good job in your place, do keep it and thank God for his blessings. Don't make your life more complicated. You cannot stay in the US without marrying, it is the condition of K-1 visa. Also, you don't want to be hurt seeing your Fiance having another wife. That is traumatic. Hope you would be strong in doing what is the right thing for your child. Don't settle for less. God bless !