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Have you ever been suspsicious?  

31 members have voted

  1. 1. Have you ever thought that someone was being used for a greencard?

    • Yes
      27
    • No
      4
  2. 2. If so, have you shared your suspicions with others?

    • Yes
      20
    • No
      7
    • Doesn't apply, I have never thought about that
      4
  3. 3. If you knew for a fact that someone was being used for a greencard would you tell them?

    • Yes
      16
    • No, never
      13
    • doesn't apply cause I don't know anyone under those circumstances
      2


42 posts in this topic

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Morocco
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Posted

What do you guys think? Have you ever wondered about someone's intentions?

No I am not trying to start a fight I am really wondering if anyone here ever doubts certain cases... I am not trying to point my finger I am just wondering if you guys ever have those thoughts in the back of your mind.

I always have this scenerio in my mind that if I had a friend in that position whether or not I would tell her and would she believe me? I don't know why I always think about that but I do! How about you guys?

Happy Eid and have a great night!

Sarah

I guess in the third question it depends.. I should have put a "I would consider it" answer.

Please share your thoughts!

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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Posted
What do you guys think? Have you ever wondered about someone's intentions?

No I am not trying to start a fight I am really wondering if anyone here ever doubts certain cases... I am not trying to point my finger I am just wondering if you guys ever have those thoughts in the back of your mind.

I always have this scenerio in my mind that if I had a friend in that position whether or not I would tell her and would she believe me? I don't know why I always think about that but I do! How about you guys?

Happy Eid and have a great night!

Sarah

I guess in the third question it depends.. I should have put a "I would consider it" answer.

Please share your thoughts!

I know of one similar case. The guy was told that his fiance had a BF in her home country but he didn't believe it. She was also pregnant by the BF and had an illegal abortion shortly before going to the US. She's probably just using him and will try to get whatever she can from the guy and then go back with her BF.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted

27 votes... one response. I'm not asking for people to say who they think is being used... just your thoughts on how you would handle the situation if you saw it happening around you.

Filed: Country: Egypt
Timeline
Posted

I haven't voted but I'll reply.

If I knew for sure, 100%, that someone was being used, I would tell them what I thought. At least that way they could check it out and would have the option to decide for themselves if they wanted to believe it or not.

I think many times people don't want to know things that would ruin their idea of what their life should be like and what's happening. They don't want their dreams ruined, so they convince themselves that everything is fine.

It's really sad that there are people in the world who would use others in that way, but I know it happens.

Allah tries his chosen people through many hardships, but those who persevere through adversity, surrendering themselves before the will of Allah, shall be blessed with a superb reward.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Anas bin Malik

A time will come when the sky is torn apart; when the stars scatter, and the ocean drains away; and when the graves are tossed about, and laid open. At that time every man will be told what he has done, and what he has failed to do; and every woman will be told what she has done, and what she has failed to do.

-Qur'an, Al-Infitar, Surah 82:1-5

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted
I haven't voted but I'll reply.

If I knew for sure, 100%, that someone was being used, I would tell them what I thought. At least that way they could check it out and would have the option to decide for themselves if they wanted to believe it or not.

I think many times people don't want to know things that would ruin their idea of what their life should be like and what's happening. They don't want their dreams ruined, so they convince themselves that everything is fine.

It's really sad that there are people in the world who would use others in that way, but I know it happens.

I agree... and I would think that maybe people who are being used are so blind in the first place that they woudl only reject you and the idea that their SO is using them... I just don't see it ending well.

Posted

me thinks you started a hot topic Sarah :devil:

I know a few people who would say themselves they were used, and I think we all know it happens. Yes, I have had suspicions, primarily because women have talked openly about behavior that just seems to be shouting WARNING. However, without proof (an admission), it is only suspicion on my part. I don't think most people want to think about these things let alone talk about it or explore their own situation. People get defensive very quickly.

Have I shared my suspicions? Sure. I have talked about it with my husband. There have been times were I asked his or a friend's advise if something should be said when really fishy things seemed to be going on.

This comes to your last question... do you tell? I don't think people want to hear it. I really don't. I think even with concrete proof (say a transcript from a chat) there are women who will choose not believe. If I thought a woman would be receptive, I had proof, and they were not too far into the process, I would try to tell and deal with the consequences.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted
me thinks you started a hot topic Sarah :devil:

I know a few people who would say themselves they were used, and I think we all know it happens. Yes, I have had suspicions, primarily because women have talked openly about behavior that just seems to be shouting WARNING. However, without proof (an admission), it is only suspicion on my part. I don't think most people want to think about these things let alone talk about it or explore their own situation. People get defensive very quickly.

Have I shared my suspicions? Sure. I have talked about it with my husband. There have been times were I asked his or a friend's advise if something should be said when really fishy things seemed to be going on.

This comes to your last question... do you tell? I don't think people want to hear it. I really don't. I think even with concrete proof (say a transcript from a chat) there are women who will choose not believe. If I thought a woman would be receptive, I had proof, and they were not too far into the process, I would try to tell and deal with the consequences.

:thumbs:

Filed: Country: Jordan
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Posted

Personally I wouldn't say anything even though they kept repeating over and over how bad their relationship or it's the opposite too if someone kept repeating over and over how great their relationship was I would think they were trying to convince everyone plus themselves.

I do feel sad for anyone that gets taken advantage of because it wasn't their fault they fell in love with someone who had bad intentions. Love is blind as the saying goes. You live and learn and eventually the blinders come off.

Filed: Other Timeline
Posted

Ok...as far as immigrant couples whom I have met face to face I don't know of any who fall into the 'used for greencard' category.

I've read some on here I thought fall into the category and I've shared that suspicion with others.

As far as would I tell somebody IF I KNEW FOR SURE? Firstly I think it would be nearly impossible to tell FOR SURE through message boards, chat, etc. So no I wouldn't say it - like in a thread or in a PM to that person.

If somehow I did know - with 100% certainty - whether I knew them face to face or somehow had the proof needed to prove it to an online acquaintenance - yes you bet your butt I would tell them.

But it would have to be 100% certainty. Either way. Anything less than that might be nothing less than damaging gossip.

I think it would be pretty damn hard to have the proof you would need from online situations.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Albania
Timeline
Posted

Yes. There are a few cases here on VJ that have made me question the intentions of the immigrating partner. I don't know what it is exactly that kind of "raised the red flag" for me, because I think it varied from case to case, but I've sometimes intuited something sketchy.

I don't think I would ever tell anyone on the forum "Hey, your fiance' just wants a greencard!" mainly because I don't know them well enough to say such a thing and with all the people I have gotten closer to via PM I haven't sensed anything bad. But, if someone I knew from real life or someone I got to know VERY VERY well on VJ were in a LDR and applying for the K-1 with a person I didn't think was being sincere, I would probably say something along the lines of "You should really examine this relationship before you decide to do the visa, because it's a big deal and it's marriage and you want to make sure you can trust your fiance' 100% and that you address any bad feelings you may have now."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7/27/2006: Arrival in NYC! -- I-94/EAD stamp in passport

8/08/2006: Applied for Social Security Card

8/18/2006: Social Security Card arrives

8/25/2006: WEDDING!

AOS...

9/11/2006: Appointment with Civil Surgeon for vaccination supplement

9/18/2006: Mailed AOS and renewal EAD applications to Chicago

10/2/2006: NOA1's for AOS and EAD applications

10/13/2006: Biometrics taken

10/14/2006: NOA -- case transferred to CSC

10/30/2006: AOS approved without interview, greencard will be sent! :)

11/04/2006: Greencard arrives in the mail! :-D

... No more USCIS for two whole years! ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Posted

I wouldn't say anything here, because you can barely get more than a sketch of someone's life, most times. But if I were certain (not even sure what that would take) that someone were being used, I think I'd have to say something.

AOS

-

Filed: 8/1/07

NOA1:9/7/07

Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

Filed: Timeline
Posted
What do you guys think? Have you ever wondered about someone's intentions?

No I am not trying to start a fight I am really wondering if anyone here ever doubts certain cases... I am not trying to point my finger I am just wondering if you guys ever have those thoughts in the back of your mind.

I always have this scenerio in my mind that if I had a friend in that position whether or not I would tell her and would she believe me? I don't know why I always think about that but I do! How about you guys?

Happy Eid and have a great night!

Sarah

I guess in the third question it depends.. I should have put a "I would consider it" answer.

Please share your thoughts!

you have thoughts in the back of your mind about your husband? is that whats your fuel for posting this

doo doo? well if YOUR man is using you for a GREEN CARD. should YOU have spotted the signs early on.. :huh:

27 votes... one response. I'm not asking for people to say who they think is being used... just your thoughts on how you would handle the situation if you saw it happening around you.

your a little persistant.. :huh: trying to tell us something? :huh:

shon.gif
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted (edited)

What do you guys think? Have you ever wondered about someone's intentions?

No I am not trying to start a fight I am really wondering if anyone here ever doubts certain cases... I am not trying to point my finger I am just wondering if you guys ever have those thoughts in the back of your mind.

I always have this scenerio in my mind that if I had a friend in that position whether or not I would tell her and would she believe me? I don't know why I always think about that but I do! How about you guys?

Happy Eid and have a great night!

Sarah

I guess in the third question it depends.. I should have put a "I would consider it" answer.

Please share your thoughts!

you have thoughts in the back of your mind about your husband? is that whats your fuel for posting this

doo doo? well if YOUR man is using you for a GREEN CARD. should YOU have spotted the signs early on.. :huh:

I don't know where you got that idea. I think if anything you would take away from my question is that I do wonder about other couples. good try though!

I'm sorry you don't know how to read. I know you work for an AIRLINE and all but don't thry expect you to have basic skills such as reading and comprehending what you read?

Edited by sarah and hicham
 
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