Visa petition sent back for possible revocation.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

....I'm glad you added that it's your personal experience...

Excellent

Even if I didn't, it should be implied.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

My Fiancé went for her visa interview scheduled for December 2nd, 2011, at 07:00 a.m. She answered all the questions truthfully and the officer I am sure, was convinced that we indeed have a valid relationship. However, when the officer asked her if I paid a Dowry she told them yes. He then said that he would be returning our visa petition back to the Department of Homeland Security with his recommendation that the petition be reviewed for possible revocation. The reason are as follows: couple is already married because of a payment of a bride price.

My Fiancé was not given the opportunity to explain to the officer that the dowry I paid was simply out of respect for the Nigerian culture. I was told by a Nigerian friend that if you are going to marry a nigerian then it is customary to give the women's parents a Dowry.

We are still waiting for petition to be reviewed by Department of Homeland Security . It has been a long wait. Does anyone know of anyone who has had our experience and what was the final out come?

What a bunch of baloney. Honestly this is crazy what the CO's get away with. So sorry you were refused.

You have a small chance to get reaffirmed. Vermont often reaffirms petitions whereas California allows them to expire.

Not a guarantee but a slim chance but you have to be a bit proactive.

1. Contact your senator immediately and have him request where exactly your case is now. He can get the diplomatic pouch number to track your case as it will fall off the face of the earth for several months with no one having it

in their system. After Lagos sits on it for a long time, it will go to NVC first and sit in their mail room for 2-3 months, then it gets forwarded to USCIS and your VSC. Do you know for sure where it is now ? You can call DOS and then USCIS to track your case and also keep the senator on it to keep a little heat on the case and show strong interest.

2. The crazy thing is you are accused of being married but if you chose to file a CR1 now and appear in front of the same CO you can't show any proof that would satisfy the requirement for a CR1 because you are not married. Only accused of it. See how insane this is? The CO would then tell you I see no proof that you are married. Oh, the insanity.

3. Get a consult from Mark Ellis who specializes in returned petitions and is a member here. He will probably tell you to get married and file again but he may also be able to help you in overcoming the wrong accusation by the CO and advice you

with a possible reaffirmation if that is what you want to go for. If VSC will review and give you a chance for rebuttal then

you have a chance to send in your evidence to do so. Perhaps a document from the registry that you are both free to marry will help ( Certificate of Bachelor(ette)) and sworn affidavits of family members attesting no marriage took place and according to your tribal customs the dowry was only a gift out of respect. Plans of a "real" wedding/marriage for when she would arrive can be submitted, a hall booked etc, tribal customs specific to her family tribe etc and your sworn letter of intent to marry being free to do so.

Don't get your hopes up too much but you do have a slight chance of reaffirmation, meaning VSC will tell the CO to stick it

and approve. You won't know until you try.

4. Remember if you marry now and your K1 is reaffirmed later, then it becomes invalid. It is up to you to wait and try to fight it out or marry right away and file again.

Lagos shows increasing disregard for the K1's and seems to prefer spousal visas, which by the way it also often returns.

Best wishes whatever you decide.

[djricky4 67]

really sorry to hear, hope you get some positive news soon.

[bigdog 377]

Both parties should be aware of how local customs affect their interviews/relationships. I guess they found VJ too late to avoid the mentioned issue.

Edited September 4, 2012 by bigdog

[QueenE 174]

Here's what I said:

Gowon I find you referring to paying dowry as araic. Do you feel the same way about men in other cultures buying engagement rings. Educated/ Enlighted people have come to realize that maintaining their culture is important.. Not those who think they are better than everyone else cause they are brain washed to believe that their own is somehow primitive. I would not be surprise if your also one of those people that feels pride that your children doesnt speak your native language.

Polygamy was expected because it was seen to be financially benefical. This day and age that isnt realistic, but if someone choose to live that lifestyle and you know a doctor that doesnt it doesnt make the other person wrong.

I feel sad for Africans with this train of thought.

Nigeria is a predominantly Islamic country and I still stand by what I've written.

We've had 5 marriages in my immediate family this year. 3 in this US and 2 in Nigeria with zero dowries. It has been my personal experience, and yours can vary, that educated and professional Nigerians DO NOT pay dowries anymore, mostly. When educated people like Doctors are marrying Doctors, Lawyers marrying Lawyers then not all archaic traditional acts that used to be norms are done. Alternatively, proper vetting is done by family to family, investigative work is done by family to family, gifts may be given from family to family. On the same token, Nigeria is a country where polygamy is legal, lawful and expected. You would be hard pressed to see an educated Nigerian with multiple Wives.

In any case OP has learned the lesson of culture and it's not all lost since he/she can proceed to marriage and file a spousal visa application.

I wish the OP the best of luck on the rest of the journey.

I am Gowon.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

1)Gowon I find you referring to paying dowry as araic. 2)Do you feel the same way about men in other cultures buying engagement rings. 3)Educated/ Enlighted people have come to realize that maintaining their culture is important.. 4)Not those who think they are better than everyone else cause they are brain washed to believe that their own is somehow primitive. 5)I would not be surprise if your also one of those people that feels pride that your children doesnt speak your native language. 6)Polygamy was expected because it was seen to be financially benefical. This day and age that isnt realistic, but if someone choose to live that lifestyle and you know a doctor that doesnt it doesnt make the other person wrong.7)I feel sad for Africans with this train of thought.

1) Assuming that you meant archaic then that is just wonderful. A difference of opinion is healthy. This is very American and should be applauded.

2) I didn't address that in my responses but that shouldn't stop you from making assumptions though. Perhaps you care to quote me?

3) Bravo. And we do, especially on those cultural issues that we find to be worthy and progressive.

4) I can't help you on that. Clearly that is in a different realm of a state of mind. Not sure what in my post could have initiated such an emotion in you though.

5) That's the idiocy behind assumptions and why it's a dangerous thing to do especially when it can be clarified with a simple question.

6) Actually I know many people whom I hold nothing but the highest respect for and who are polygamist.

7) Great. So continue to feel sad for those Africans, whomever they are, but I unfortunately don't fit in your demographic and thus require nor welcome any sympathy from you.

Edited September 4, 2012 by Gowon

[yeppers 3]

That's the idiocy behind assumptions and why it's a dangerous thing to do

What's hilarious about this statement is that you do the same thing when you say blanket statements like "It is not customary to pay a bride price in Nigeria, not in this modern era, but I guess it depends on the financial circumstance of the family" and "educated and professional Nigerians DO NOT pay dowries anymore." To your credit, you did quantify the latter statement by saying that it's been in your personal experience, which I appreciated. And no, if you don't say it, it's not implied.

For those who are not Nigerians, please know that paying dowery is not about the money (most of them are less than $50 USD) or that only low class people do it, or it's about the education level of the family. It's a sign of respect for tradition. Some chose to participate, some don't. Either way, you're not obligated to and if you do or don't, it doesn't mean anything (bad or good) about you or your family.

Edited September 4, 2012 by yeppers

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

What's hilarious about this statement is that you do the same thing when you say blanket statements like "It is not customary to pay a bride price in Nigeria, not in this modern era, but I guess it depends on the financial circumstance of the family" and "educated and professional Nigerians DO NOT pay dowries anymore." To your credit, you did quantify the latter statement by saying that it's been in your personal experience, which I appreciated. And no, if you don't say it, it's not implied.

For those who are not Nigerians, please know that paying dowery is not about the money (most of them are less than $50 USD) or that only low class people do it, or it's about the education level of the family. It's a sign of respect for tradition. 1) Some chose to participate, some don't. Either way, you're not obligated to and if you do or don't, it doesn't mean anything (bad or good) about you or your family.

So what was different about what you said and what I said? Nothing was different between my original and latter post. That I had to qualify my post just means that some of the audience needed clatification, wasn't a change of stance. I still stand behing what I wrote originally and later, despite whose feather is ruffled.

Am I the President of Nigeria or the Nigerian Cultural Ambassador? Of course anything I type on VJ is has an inherent implication that it is my opinion, unless I quote research studies/statistics, at least to an educated mind.

I'm glad that I provide some hilarity for you. We should offer as such to each other during these stressful journey.

The OP has learned a valuable lesson here and thankfully an easily correctable one. Don't start practising traditions/cultures that you don't fully understand, no matter what Mr. Google says. I hope future applicants will benefit on future search.

PS: By the way, the $50 thing is probably in the 50's. Marriages between Nigerians in Nigeria and in families that practise 'Idana" will be insulted by $50. The last marriage that I attended that had dowry involved had a truck load of yams, 6 heads of cattle, etc The recipient family is a Nigerian Senator so clearly did not need the stuff and it was distributed to the community.

Edited September 4, 2012 by Gowon