In a bad spot

[journeyinterupted 1]

I married my spouse after a K1 and filed for AOS which has not been approved yet. The relationship has had some bumps along the way but I honestly thought things would get better. They haven't they have gotten worse and I don't see any hope. I made a serious error in judgement and maybe my spouse just doesn't understand what marriage is about. I have tried to hang in there thru the AOS but just can't take it any longer . I think my spouse realizes there is no hope and there are signs that they are already looking for the next nest because they still need financial support in the near future. There are some other things going on that make me VERY uncomfortable. My problem is that there have been very vague threats if I stop the process before the AOS is approved. I don't know if they are serious but I am a bit concerned. If I stop everything now and they are out of status no one comes to pick them up right away. I am just as afraid of them hanging around illegally knowing I stopped the process. Should i just fund a way to get they AOS and then move on? Though i am concerned about being ties to aimeone that reacts this way. I do not belueve there was fraud. I think we both entered with good intentions it just doesnt wirk. Has anyone ever been in this situation? Post here or send me a private message. Didn't know where else to turn .

Sorry for typos.

[Cathi 5,755]

who is them? you said you married someone, did you marry a whole family?

[journeyinterupted 1]

I didn't want to be gender specific because I am nervous about posting here. I am in a bad place and just need replies from those with serious advice. I think the nature of my post is clear without knowing if I am male female or if "them" is male female. VAWA is not a factor either

[Pitaya 2,577]

Sadly, you certainly are not the first person, nor the last, to be in this type of situation.

First, protect yourself! ..... Threats are threats, no matter of the source or intent.

Seek legal advice, which relates to protect yourself. Find out your rights, options, duties, responsibilities.

Then you can make some informed choices and decisions.

Hang in there!

[Que Saudade 284]

This sounds like a very bad scenario.

I would suggest counseling to see if you guys can work it out. (Just like any other marriage.) If things don't work out, then you need to carefully consider is a divorce in order.

In your post, what bothered me the most is your statement about "vague threats" and signs of looking for "another nest". This is troublesome to me. You claim that you believe the marriage was entered in good faith. If that is the case, nothing much to do except to move on should it not work out.

Just my opinion though. I am sure you will get others.

Out of curiosity, when did you file AOS? You have no information on your timeline.

[Jamaicancricket 38]

I married my spouse after a K1 and filed for AOS which has not been approved yet. The relationship has had some bumps along the way but I honestly thought things would get better. They haven't they have gotten worse and I don't see any hope. I made a serious error in judgement and maybe my spouse just doesn't understand what marriage is about. I have tried to hang in there thru the AOS but just can't take it any longer . I think my spouse realizes there is no hope and there are signs that they are already looking for the next nest because they still need financial support in the near future. There are some other things going on that make me VERY uncomfortable. My problem is that there have been very vague threats if I stop the process before the AOS is approved. I don't know if they are serious but I am a bit concerned. If I stop everything now and they are out of status no one comes to pick them up right away. I am just as afraid of them hanging around illegally knowing I stopped the process. Should i just fund a way to get they AOS and then move on? Though i am concerned about being ties to aimeone that reacts this way. I do not belueve there was fraud. I think we both entered with good intentions it just doesnt wirk. Has anyone ever been in this situation? Post here or send me a private message. Didn't know where else to turn .

Sorry for typos.

I think what Mimolicious was getting at is that you state "they" or "them". When you only married a spouse.

Edited September 2, 2012 by Jamaicancricket

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I think what Mimolicious was getting at is that you state "they" or "them". When you only married a spouse.

OP used them/they so that he/she can hide if the SO is he/she.

[journeyinterupted 1]

Replace them with him or her if that helps

The AOS has been files but not approved. I have files for divorce but am afraid to have my spouse served due to the vague threats

The AOS has been files but not approved. I have files for divorce but am afraid to have my spouse served due to the vague threats

Typing too fast on phone ignore typos

[Darnell 8,478]

Is this right? it sounds like that spouse wishes to 'trade up', find a better situation ?

If that's the case, then is possible that this was the intent all along, and finally, now, it's becoming clear or clearer, to you.

I suggest you forget about the immigration bits quickly, by submitting a letter to withdraw the I-864, affadavit of support, into the National USCIS Office.

In a bit, say Tuesday Morning, get into the county courthouse, and learn how to file for divorce.

Good Luck.

[Anh map 2,098]

If the marriage has failed, divorce and move on. Let your spouse worry about the immigration implications. Withdraw your affidavit of support so that you are not obligated if the spouse claims means tested benefits.

If you have realistic worries about your safety, then consulting a family law attorney may be a good idea. It's not expensive to have a consultation. Set up any restraining orders, etc. needed.

Don't give in to threats and bullying.

[journeyinterupted 1]

I think they are looking around because they know that things are going to end. Even after AOS they will need help financially so I think they are laying the groundwork and looking for that nest now. I don't think that was original intent but a part of their nature and survivalist nature. Not good but I think a product of how they grew up and where they are from

I have filed for divorce but afraid to take the next step. That was my point After that there is nothing that gets them immediately out of my apt, my life or my country

[Que Saudade 284]

The AOS has been files but not approved. I have files for divorce but am afraid to have my spouse served due to the vague threats

If you are being threatened in any form, verbal, physical, mental... You have rights also.

Since you are being slightly vague on purpose, it is difficult to give any insight. With that being said, I agree with Darnell and others that you should immediately start the process to protect yourself. But, when you write the letter to USCIS, be very specific as to the "vague" threats so that you have something on record should your significant other attempt to go the VAWA route.

Edited September 2, 2012 by Que Saudade

[Anh map 2,098]

I think they are looking around because they know that things are going to end. Even after AOS they will need help financially so I think they are laying the groundwork and looking for that nest now. I don't think that was original intent but a part of their nature and survivalist nature. Not good but I think a product of how they grew up and where they are from

I have filed for divorce but afraid to take the next step. That was my point After that there is nothing that gets them immediately out of my apt, my life or my country

You cannot deport anyone. You can supply evidence to ICE that your spouse entered into the relationship and fraudulently obtained the visa. Then it is up to them (ICE).

Focus on what you can control and act accordingly. No one is going to step in and protect you. Be proactive.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

You can not be forced to stay in a marriage just so that someone else can gain immigration benefits. In fact that this is just the type of person the USA doesn't need. You can ask for a protective order. Usually they are pretty easy to get and that would make it illegal for "them" to contact you. If you let AOS proceed you may be on the hook to fiancially help "them" get the better place they want. Every once in a while some immigration judge will grant alimony based on the I864 no matter how short the marriage.

[Justine+David 218]

If you're sure--Withdraw the I-864 Affidavit NOW. I don't know where you are in the process, but if it goes to the California Service Center and gets approved without interview (if you came over on a K1), there is absolutely nothing you can do. Don't delay!

Above all--protect yourself. Your clothes, books, dvds, etc are NOTHING compared to your life. Leave if you have to, find a safe place to stay, whether it's with relatives or a shelter.