does racism go away after moving to the US?

[TnJ 131]

I don't think it's sad. I think it shows where ever Lillian came from was very progressive and that's great!

Further more, I really do agree with Vanessa , at least 80%. I have read almost all of your topics and it seems there are huge disparities in your believes, ideologies and your basic wants and needs from a marriage. You said your husband doesn't even want to be in the US

You can call it progressive all you like. The tendency is psychologically present in human nature. That is not to say we should act on it as it is ignorant to fear that which only reveals difference, and this fear is what leads to the prejudices. As much as ignorance sounds like a dirty word, I am afraid that is exactly what it is if one isn't aware of the existence of racism as well. Coming to the US is not really an eye opener to this universal phenomenon. It isn't exclusive here, and it really isn't progressive at all if one isn't aware of the reality of one's self and the world they live in. Her statement doesn't prove any progression whatsoever. It shows that one person from where ever wasn't aware of something that has been going on in the world of humans for ages. Sorry, but that was my interpretation. It could easily be wrong, but so is drawing the conclusion that it must be she is from some progressive place.

Edited September 9, 2012 by ToddnJessa

[Jo&Si 9]

You know, I admire you for trying but.. to be blunt.. "When you push sh*t uphill you're going to get covered in it". There are far too many differences (in my opinion) to make this a happy relationship. You cannot change him and to go into this expecting he will is foolish. Instead, you are trying to change yourself and what you can and can't handle. This is how many abusive relationships start.

I personally wouldn't have him immigrate here. Not yet anyway. I think you guys need to talk through ideologies and all that more. I wouldn't marry someone that thinks getting smashed every weekend is okay. I wouldn't stay with my husband if he suddenly turned fanatically religious, or political, or into sports (as opposed to his car obsession). I had/have ideas about what is okay and what I can handle. If he didn't fit with my ideals I wouldn't stay with him. That sounds awfully selfish but I suffered through one abusive relationship and I won't do so again. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life.

I totally agree with Vanessa&Tony...

[Jo&Si 9]

N..ro is an offensive word! I guess it depends where you live...but here it's offensive... I have seen a former Navy Seal being called that word and he was going to beat the guy. We hopefully calmed him down.

You never know how people will take your comments about their color, race,... A lot of it depend also on the tone you use to say it.