does racism go away after moving to the US?

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

I am afraid you are wrong there. The moment you get points on your application for things that have nothing to do with how good you are at something and just with your skin colour (for instance) it means you are not good enough. It also means you are stealing the bread from the table of someone more qualified than you who just happens to have the wrong skin colour (I know, shocking, but white people eat too, and have to take care of their families). I know I wouldn't want a doctor who qualified for the job just because he was black operating on me.

So by your logic, there is no need for affirmative action because it's all fair and balanced right? Let me guess, you watch Fox news?

And if it is a "back then" circumstance, then why does it exist still?

Because racism still exists.

There is more to the world than the US, you know.

Yes I do, been overseas for 12 years...

Right now it is completely ok to take a human life, and suffer no consequence in some part of the world. As we speak. I am a citizen of the world, I will not confine my view on it based on the history of just one nation.

But are you an american citizen, or do you follow the WORLD views? How did you fill out your immigration paperwork I wonder, I think you have to be a USC or at least a perm resident in order to petition someone here right?

Gowon, you're right, some people just don't get it ...

[Peter_Pan 661]

What does that have to do with the fact that the blacks were not the only ones who were exploited?

200 years ago the Romanian were under Turkish rule, should we start going to Istanbul and ask for free housing when we drop by as tourists? Preposterous.

I am only responsible for my own choices, not my parents', so why should I pay the price for smth I did not do? Dig hard enough, and you will find a skeleton in each family closet. Are you willing to pay the price for it?

I don't care about what the black had to suffer 100 years ago, many races and ethnicities ARE suffering now. I dont see you much caring about them.

[Xanax 349]

I think this thread has been sufficiently detailed and the OP probably wont get many more helpful or constructive answers.

If someone wants they could start their own thread in "politics" and religion about the ins and outs of American racism, slavery, etc.

For the OP's sake, please close this thread

[Darnell 8,478]

detailed or

derailed ??

it's just a one letter difference, meh.

[Xanax 349]

detailed or

derailed ??

it's just a one letter difference, meh.

Obviously derailed. Was using iphone and didn't see the typo.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

I think this thread has been sufficiently detailed and the OP probably wont get many more helpful or constructive answers.

If someone wants they could start their own thread in "politics" and religion about the ins and outs of American racism, slavery, etc.

For the OP's sake, please close this thread

I apologize for the side turn.

Rkk1,

There is nothing wrong with having a preference for something, I prefer my eggs scrambled, not sunny side up. But what I don't do is tell my wife how much any other egg serving sucks. I don't go into detail about how much the egg white makes me uncomfortable or how the yolks give me the creeps. I find it unsettling that your husband seems to go out of his way to tell you what he doesn't like about african americans, if he doesn't date black women, so what. Why does he have to say the entire race of women aren't attractive?

Peter Pan,

If you want to hash this out intelligently please start a new thread and we can talk this out like rational adults.

[catknit 144]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey - don't believe me.

Go ask yer Father about it - as he lived it back in India and knows exactly what I'm talking about.

FWIW, this 'labelling as a child' stuff yer husband went through?

He was labelled by those who knew that lighter skin is a sign of higher caste.

Assume for the moment that his grandparents are of a middle to low caste.. Having a light-skinned grandchild is a sure way to become a 'passer', and move around in higher society (higher than theirs) because NO ONE is gonna question him about his caste with him having lighter skin.

I invite you to watch 22 Bollywood Movies tomorrow during the holiday, instead of studying for your medical exams. Or talk with yer father about this, for at least 2 hours. It really is a big deal.

On fast forward as that is a good 66-hours of movie time if played real-time.

But, seriously, Darnell is very much on target here. Even those families who are "progressive" re caste have had generations of influence instilling fairer is better. I know of moms-to-be who are wished a "healthy and fair" baby. Really.

[M&Pooh 12]

You know, I admire you for trying but.. to be blunt.. "When you push sh*t uphill you're going to get covered in it". There are far too many differences (in my opinion) to make this a happy relationship. You cannot change him and to go into this expecting he will is foolish. Instead, you are trying to change yourself and what you can and can't handle. This is how many abusive relationships start.

I personally wouldn't have him immigrate here. Not yet anyway. I think you guys need to talk through ideologies and all that more. I wouldn't marry someone that thinks getting smashed every weekend is okay. I wouldn't stay with my husband if he suddenly turned fanatically religious, or political, or into sports (as opposed to his car obsession). I had/have ideas about what is okay and what I can handle. If he didn't fit with my ideals I wouldn't stay with him. That sounds awfully selfish but I suffered through one abusive relationship and I won't do so again. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life.

That thread is extremely weird. The OP asks a particular question, explicitly(!) requested the discussion to be civil and what does she get? "Huge disaster", "sh*t", "your relationship is doomed"...

First of all, it's EXTREMELY RUDE. Did OP ask anybody to judge on her marriage?? Do you not think that such a behavior is much worse than accidentally using a taboo word? Or are you sadists enjoying trying to destroy OP's marriage?

Second, those remarks are not only extremely rude, they are also extremely biased. I consider it to be well-known that Indian people have quite a different standards and customs when it comes to marriage ( ever had of arranged marriages, btw? ) and are much more willing to search ( and find! ) for compromises and reconciliations in their family lives. What I see in that thread looks like some VJers trying to impose on OP their way of thinking and their standard of what is considered "abusive" and "unacceptable". Very ironical they are the same people who say such nice words about being open-minded and politically correct... Shame on you people.

rkk1, good luck to you! Don't pay attention to those saying "your relationship is doomed"! Fight for your marriage and succeed!

[fantonledzepp 159]

Affirmative action exist because the system wasn't working for fair hiring or schooling. You can feel insulted if you like, but when you are trying to put food on the table or get into school and they won't hire you not because you're not smart enough or good enough, just based on the color of your skin, it's wrong. Back then those people had family to take care of, my parents and grandparents share the stories of what they had to go through just to make a little bit of money. If getting a black only scholarship was the ONLY way they could get a viable education, so be it. I guess it's easy to be picky when you have options...

And since you seem to have the whole racism thing down, please enlighten me. What other race in America was lynched, had dogs and water hoses turned on them for peaceful protesting, was denied voting rights, the list goes on. Anyone in america that isn't white has to deal with it on some level, but remember when African Americans went through it, it was completely ok to take a black man's life and suffer no consequences. Ask Trayvon Martin's parent's about it, I'm sure they would love to debate the issue with you. Or Sean Bell, Rodney King, Medgar Evans(at least his killer got convicted, it just took 3 trials and 30 years)...

Rodney King was not killed, just beaten.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Hi all. I was just wondering if racist attitudes can change after one comes to the US and is exposed to a more diverse culture. My husband and I are in the middle of the visa process as he still hasn't been to the US yet. He grew up in a small city in India where everyone is like him (at most there are lighter 'fairer' skinned Indians as well as 'wheatish' (tan) Indians). Until he met me, and we travelled together to larger cities in India, he had never seen a white person or a black person or an East Asian person (besides on tv). As such he still has prejudices, and will sometimes say things that make me cringe. For instance, he thinks that white people are really beautiful, as has a fascination with blonde haired women (which I am not, as I am myself Indian-American). At the same time, he openly stated today (to my dismay) that he thinks that some people from Africa are too dark to be aesthetically pleasing (my paraphrase). I told him that he's being racist. He doesn't think he is racist, because he really likes Martin Luther King, Jr (and has MLK's "I have a Dream" speech saved on his cell phone. He has a good portion of that speech memorized). When I mention that I dislike how he is so attached to skin color, he simply dismissed it and says "it's a matter of personal preference. In India, we find fair skin to look better. Your parents don't like Muslims that much, so if they can have their preferences, I'm also entitled towards mine". I'm like "I suppose, but I'd rather live my life in a more inclusive way rather than find shallow and unnecessary reasons to dislike anyone." He was like "It's not that I don't like them, but I think fairer skinned people are better looking."

IMHO your husband is not being racist when he says he has a preference for one certain type of person vs. the other based on looks alone. When it comes to physical attraction we all have a type. It would be racist of him, if he shared the notion that a fundamental difference exist that allows for races to be ranked hierarchically. IMHO he is just speaking his mind, to which some people can take exception, but I don't believe it denotes a more nefarious side of him.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Rodney King was not killed, just beaten.

My bad, the cops who beat him within an inch of his life were aquitted in the beginning, but after the riots, justice was finally served. Thanks for the catch.

[fantonledzepp 159]

My bad, the cops who beat him within an inch of his life were aquitted in the beginning, but after the riots, justice was finally served. Thanks for the catch.

Remember, a lot of people here aren't familiar with some of the bad events of this country. So when you state something, try to make sure it's accurate.

And on that note, Zimmerman is currently awaiting trial for the killing of Martin. So that case is still pending. His killing has not gone unanswered yet.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Remember, a lot of people here aren't familiar with some of the bad events of this country. So when you state something, try to make sure it's accurate.

And on that note, Zimmerman is currently awaiting trial for the killing of Martin. So that case is still pending. His killing has not gone unanswered yet.

My point in the original post is that when it comes to African Americans and certain situations, it comes out uneven. I could have used a better example rather than Mr. King, but I was in the moment when I was writing and he was the easist name at the time.

As for Zimmerman, he is currently out on bond for the 2nd time and awaiting his trial date. If the roles were reversed(Zimmerman was black and Martin was white) a lot of people believe things wouldn't have gone down the way they did. Marissa Alexander fired her gun in self defense of her abusive husband, she didn't even hit anyone, and she got a mandatory 20 year sentence in prison.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Remember, a lot of people here aren't familiar with some of the bad events of this country. So when you state something, try to make sure it's accurate.

And on that note, Zimmerman is currently awaiting trial for the killing of Martin. So that case is still pending. His killing has not gone unanswered yet.

It also serves the immigrants better not to blindingly trust everything they read online, especially on forums. They should do proper research if they are curious about any particular subject.

[Love of My Life 2]

To my disappointment, I didn't know racism exists, until I came here.

This is an interesting topic, and many good viewpoints have been expressed here.

I'm sure racism exists everywhere, and that even includes the US of course. It seems like the last few years has escalated things in America though thanks to the uselessness in Washington, so what do us average blokes do. Being new (and might I add, legal!) immigrants.....we are mostly watching and learning right now for the most part?