Lies and deception. Be aware, please!

[DandT14 272]

totally disagree, there is a time when you CAN be certain that your spouse is NOT using you for a green card. it doesn't mean your marriage will work out forever, but its not true that EVERY single USC on here can NEVER fully trust and be 100% certain that their spouse is not an immigration scammer.... that's quite ridiculous to say actually

What I don't understand is how, if you are never certain, you could go ahead and get married anyway. Although it seems to happen quite a lot, judging from this section. People can rationalize anything, I suppose. But really, if you even think for a second that your future spouse might be using you for a greencard, then don't get married! Find a US citizen to screw up your life with instead, it's easier.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

What I don't understand is how, if you are never certain, you could go ahead and get married anyway. Although it seems to happen quite a lot, judging from this section. People can rationalize anything, I suppose. But really, if you even think for a second that your future spouse might be using you for a greencard, then don't get married! Find a US citizen to screw up your life with instead, it's easier.

People can rationalize anything, but if you are having doubts already its not a good sign for you. I definitely could never have gone from accepting my degree at graduation to married and living in Pakistan in just five days if I wasn't 100% convinced about my husband's intentions in marrying me. What a huge, life-changing risk to take in the face of doubts and uncertainty.

[TBoneTX 45,914]

Find a US citizen to screw up your life with instead, it's easier.

This is at once the funniest and truest VJ post in a long time, si man.

[livelife2dfullest 7]

Well before you marry a person you meet online, really know them well first. There's a lot of ways to really know the person. Don't just believe everything the person is telling you. Dig more deeper about their life, their family. Make sure that person is not trying to scam you. My husband and I meet online 9 years ago and 2 years was spent online.He find some way to meet other people who lives in my area too and who knows me. He started asking people about me and my family and I didn't know that until after I was here in the US with him already. He made sure he was making the right decision to marry me. So it took him 2 years to really know that there's no scam involve. Don't just jump right to marriage right away. Know the person you are marrying. Be creative, find a way to know them more through friends, through neighbors, family, relatives. They might get upset when they learned you did all that but at least you are sure you made the right decision on marrying that person.

[BarbSami 32]

I concur i believe they all have an agenda at the end of the day, stay alert folks

One thing i know for sure is there is no way to see through a groomed liar, at the end of the day the genuine person is thinking they found love and the other one has found a door to the US better life, money and a way to take care of their family left behind. I dont care who thinks its not them its you cuz at the end of the day who has really gained not the U S citizen bc they was born a citizen.

[BarbSami 32]

yea very true. majority of foreign marriages are fraud. doesnt mean you cant have a real marriage but you have to be aware of situations. too many ppl fall in love in 2 days time and get married. then are shocked to find out they have been scammed.....

I dated for 2 years been married for 9 but it still a lie. As i see it who has gained here.

People can rationalize anything, but if you are having doubts already its not a good sign for you. I definitely could never have gone from accepting my degree at graduation to married and living in Pakistan in just five days if I wasn't 100% convinced about my husband's intentions in marrying me. What a huge, life-changing risk to take in the face of doubts and uncertainty.

What if there are no doubts or red flags.

[rade2rising 205]

i said majority not all

kyda with all great certainty therein lies uncertainty.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

One thing i know for sure is there is no way to see through a groomed liar, at the end of the day the genuine person is thinking they found love and the other one has found a door to the US better life, money and a way to take care of their family left behind. I dont care who thinks its not them its you cuz at the end of the day who has really gained not the US citizen bc they was born a citizen.

I dated for 2 years been married for 9 but it still a lie. As i see it who has gained here.

What if there are no doubts or red flags.

Hi .. on the "no doubts" or "no red flags":

Four and a half years ago you posted that you found chat logs with your husband talking with other women online and telling them he was not married..

You also posted four and a half years ago that previously (five years ago?) you found out he had been sending money to someone back home getting the money from your business (22 thousand over a five month period) and that he was hiding it from you.

You also talked in other posts that you wish you had noticed the behavior earlier...

Those are red flags and you should have had doubts...

Good liars exist of course... but people in love are also easier to lie to.

Edited September 5, 2012 by OnMyWayID

[Krikit 1,165]

One off topic post removed.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

I dated for 2 years been married for 9 but it still a lie. As i see it who has gained here.

What if there are no doubts or red flags.

I'm sorry but I don't understand what you are asking.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

i said majority not all

kyda with all great certainty therein lies uncertainty.

Yes inside my certainty about my husband's intentions there was uncertainty about how I would feel living in a third world country. But those are two different issues. I don't mind uncertainty about how I will like living somewhere, but being uncertain about my husband's intentions in his marriage with me? That's never acceptable to me. I am saying that there is NO WAY I could have taken all the uncertainties about moving to a third world country in addition to being uncertain about my husband's character. I was talking about it being a huge risk to take if I am not sure of my husband, I'm sorry if I didn't clearly refer to that at the end. If I DID have even a SHADOW of a doubt about my husband, I would have stayed in the US and let our relationship develop until I no longer had that feeling or until the suspicions were confirmed and I broke off the relationship.

[Nana098 18]

Unfortunately it is true some just looking for a husband / wife abroad to keep them, I have a friend that live in Colombia annoyed traveled to Curacao because many American military arrive there (have a relative who has done very well in their marriage) and unfortunately she wants the same, not looking for love or the company of a couple but the welfare that this has to offer.

So I think to go looking for a foreign husband has become a prostitute.

I feel sorry for her and her son.

A recommend you move on and not all foreigners want the GC.

[rade2rising 205]

all foreigners do want the green card its just that some of them do really love you and try hard to make relationship work while others just bail. at the end of the day no one should complain because going overseas for spouse is big gamble to start with. understand the risks and you will be better prepared to deal with the outcomes...

[GandK 168]

Seems to be more common when the foreign spouse comes from a country with less economic opportunity.

all foreigners do want the green card its just that some of them do really love you and try hard to make relationship work while others just bail. at the end of the day no one should complain because going overseas for spouse is big gamble to start with. understand the risks and you will be better prepared to deal with the outcomes...

Not all foreigners want that GC lol

The USA is not that dream land you saw on TV, if it was up to me I would live somewhere else than in the USA

[rade2rising 205]

yea you are right USA is getting alot more difficult. I would much prefer to go live in Denmark. Not sure why you would leave such a beautiful place to come to USA