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Dave-n-Oksana

Okay I am offically confused

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A strange situation occured last night. Oksana's lovely 22 year old daughter was showing us some new clothes she had bought, and one top was so sheer, that she might as well as not be wearing anything. I mean I could definately tell a family resemblence ;)

Anywho when I told Oksana about it, she just smiled at me and said "Good for you". So now I don't know if this is a culture thing and that I should just play the part of asexual father and pretend not to be interested, or be the prude and tell my step-daughter to put a bra on??

Edited by Dave-n-Oksana
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Switzerland
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WOW... I hate these situations. It seems no matter what you do, it isn't going to be good.

Maybe have a sensitive talk with your wife and explain how this is viewed in this country. That she should just be slightly more careful about this.

The last thing you want is to be called some sort of awful name. Yet, you want peace with your wife.

Good luck dude.. I think you are gonna need it

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
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A strange situation occured last night. Oksana's lovely 22 year old daughter was showing us some new clothes she had bought, and one top was so sheer, that she might as well as not be wearing anything. I mean I could definately tell a family resemblence ;)

Anywho when I told Oksana about it, she just smiled at me and said "Good for you". So now I don't know if this is a culture thing and that I should just play the part of asexual father and pretend not to be interested, or be the prude and tell my step-daughter to put a bra on??

Hmm, pretty speechless here ... :huh::unsure::innocent::blush:

Did she mean it was good that you saw some 22 year old topless, or that her daughter has the "trust" to let you see her this way?

I guess it could be a culture thing, in my culture that would mean trouble or :devil:... really depends on each individual.

Edited by Cesar & Cata

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02/06/2013: Visa in hand

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Tell her to put a brawr on. You're in America and it's inappropriate. And even in Russia I know a girl who has big boobs and loves to flit around in white tshirts without a bra and everyone talks $#1+ about her. For your stepdaughter's own sake, she should wear a bra.

I should clarify, that when she does go out, she does wear a bra, but she never wears one when at home around family.

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I should clarify, that when she does go out, she does wear a bra, but she never wears one when at home around family.

Oh hmm that is different then. I don't wear one at home either. Is it making you uncomfortable?? Even around my dad and my brothers i probably wouldn't wear a sheer shirt though.

Edited by eekee

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
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I should clarify, that when she does go out, she does wear a bra, but she never wears one when at home around family.

This is diff then, I know several girls like this, although its not that common with Step fathers as it is with bio-family.

It does sound like a trust thing.

Edited by Cesar & Cata

USCIS:

06/06/2012: Sent I-130 to VSC (as LPR)

06/08/2012: NOA1 (Priority Date)

06/12/2012: Touched

08/20/2012: Mailed VSC request for Upgrade to CR1

08/23/2012: Opened Request with USCIS for Upgrade to CR1

08/27/2012: Got Email confirming upgrade to IR1/CR1

11/13/2012: NOA2

NVC:

11/16/2012: NVC Received (NVC # not ready)

11/19/2012: BOG number/IIN - Gave emails

11/19/2012: Choice of Agent email sent

11/20/2012: AOS bill invoiced

11/20/2012: AOS bill paid shows in process

11/21/2012: AOS package sent

11/21/2012: AOS bill shows PAID

11/21/2012: Choice of Agent email sent (again)

11/21/2012: Choice of Agent email accepted

11/23/2012: IV bill invoiced

11/23/2012: IV bill paid

11/26/2012: IV package sent

11/26/2012: IV bill shows PAID

12/07/2012: AOS accepted

12/10/2012: IV Accepted

12/10/2012: Case complete

12/13/2012: Interview scheduled

US Embassy Bogota:

01/25/2013: Lab Visit

01/28/2013: Medical

01/30/2013: Interview

02/05/2013: Email Waybill (5PM)

02/06/2013: Visa in hand

02/08/2013: POE JFK, NY

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This is diff then, I know several girls like this, although its not that common with Step fathers as it is with bio-family.

It does sound like a trust thing.

I guess the source of my confusion is that I have only known my step-daughter as a grown woman. There is no 'Little girl" image that I see with my own daughter. And to be honest if she wasn't my step-daughter I wouldn't be complaining at all.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
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I guess the source of my confusion is that I have only known my step-daughter as a grown woman. There is no 'Little girl" image that I see with my own daughter. And to be honest if she wasn't my step-daughter I wouldn't be complaining at all.

Yea in my culture the wife/mom would most likely be pretty upset, I really don't envy your situation, hopefully she is doing it innocently, wouldn't wanna end up on a Jerry Springer show.

But really, if it does make you uncomfortable I think you should ask your wife to speak with her about it. Better leave everything clear and in the open.

USCIS:

06/06/2012: Sent I-130 to VSC (as LPR)

06/08/2012: NOA1 (Priority Date)

06/12/2012: Touched

08/20/2012: Mailed VSC request for Upgrade to CR1

08/23/2012: Opened Request with USCIS for Upgrade to CR1

08/27/2012: Got Email confirming upgrade to IR1/CR1

11/13/2012: NOA2

NVC:

11/16/2012: NVC Received (NVC # not ready)

11/19/2012: BOG number/IIN - Gave emails

11/19/2012: Choice of Agent email sent

11/20/2012: AOS bill invoiced

11/20/2012: AOS bill paid shows in process

11/21/2012: AOS package sent

11/21/2012: AOS bill shows PAID

11/21/2012: Choice of Agent email sent (again)

11/21/2012: Choice of Agent email accepted

11/23/2012: IV bill invoiced

11/23/2012: IV bill paid

11/26/2012: IV package sent

11/26/2012: IV bill shows PAID

12/07/2012: AOS accepted

12/10/2012: IV Accepted

12/10/2012: Case complete

12/13/2012: Interview scheduled

US Embassy Bogota:

01/25/2013: Lab Visit

01/28/2013: Medical

01/30/2013: Interview

02/05/2013: Email Waybill (5PM)

02/06/2013: Visa in hand

02/08/2013: POE JFK, NY

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I would just explain it to her like you were her biological dad. Tell her that culturally here, that much skin is not appropriate in front of a male your age, and you wish she would put some more clothes on. Turn it around, and ask her why she wants her mom's husband to see that. I bet that puts an end to it. She is no doubt a good girl that just never thought it would bother any one.

Edited to say that if it were me, I would have the above conversation with my wife in the room, so there was no possible misunderstanding because of language and whatnot.

Edited by Brad and Vika

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Be honest with her and say you are not comfortable with her dressing like that in front of you. Tell her if she wants to go bra free, okay. But in your home she needs to be more discreet and sheer clothing doesn't pass the test. Tell her that your male friends should not be possibly exposed to your stepdaughter in such a manner. You can tell her that the culture in the home is more reserved and ask her to respect you and the home environment.

You should also praise her for being proud of her body but that there are better ways of displaying her physique than blatant nudity. You might also tell her that keeping part of herself a mystery is better if she is looking to attract men.

Discuss this with your wife before you talk to your daughter. Without your wife's support it will not go anywhere. :thumbs:

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
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No matter how you go about this, you're going to be wrong. So just shut up, enjoy the show, and try not to be too much of a perv. My wife's friends are sometimes "informal" (no pants, no shirts) around us and it's no big deal. That's just how they do it and if they're comfortable, then why should I be uncomfortable?

While I realize the family dynamic is somewhat different, in all actuality, there really is no family dynamic between you and the adult step-daughter. She's just some hot chick that lives with you. Enjoy it... but don't get in trouble!

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No matter how you go about this, you're going to be wrong. So just shut up, enjoy the show, and try not to be too much of a perv. My wife's friends are sometimes "informal" (no pants, no shirts) around us and it's no big deal. That's just how they do it and if they're comfortable, then why should I be uncomfortable?

While I realize the family dynamic is somewhat different, in all actuality, there really is no family dynamic between you and the adult step-daughter. She's just some hot chick that lives with you. Enjoy it... but don't get in trouble!

Yeah but the situation does feed the Mother + Daughter fantasy :)

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
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A strange situation occured last night. Oksana's lovely 22 year old daughter was showing us some new clothes she had bought, and one top was so sheer, that she might as well as not be wearing anything. I mean I could definately tell a family resemblence ;)

Anywho when I told Oksana about it, she just smiled at me and said "Good for you". So now I don't know if this is a culture thing and that I should just play the part of asexual father and pretend not to be interested, or be the prude and tell my step-daughter to put a bra on??

Alla is very casual about nudity. She wanders around naked, from bathroom to bedroom, through the hallway, will strip naked in the kitchen and wait for me to bring her robe and sunbathes naked in the back yard. We have tall bushes all around but nothing stops the boys from looking out the back window or going into the yard. They do not seem to notice or care. She was naked almost the entire time in Ukraine when we were in the apartment...it was HOT! It is just not a big deal for her. Not sure if it is cultural or personal.

My guess is, yes, Oksana figures you will just ignore it. Whether that is appropriate for public display is another matter.

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