Married - No Wedding

[natalieblake 0]

Dear Visa Journey Forum,

I met my now British husband, James, in Singapore in August 2011. I was finishing up an 18 month contract when I met him and decided to extend my work commitment to get to know him better. He had just moved there and although I was ready to come home, he was simply irresistible ;P We met through a mutual friend (he walked by as we were having dinner) and the next thing I knew; we were traveling to exotic countries and naming our unborn children. What actually made me realize this was someone worth staying for was his fondness for the US (my biggest fear about meeting someone overseas that would not want to live in the US, especially a smaller state like Colorado.) Living overseas had made me appreciate everything the US has to offer and coming home and being close to family was/is important to me.

Not long after we met, James quickly realized that Singapore was not for him (coming off 4 years in Australia, I could see why!) I was approaching two years and absolutely miserable at the 14 hour work days. The once humorous cultural nuances slowly started to eat away at me and I could tell I was not a pleasant person to be around. NOT IDEAL especially when you meet the man of your dreams! We started talking about moving to the US (we kept it open since the company I was working for was based out of SF) around Christmas. He had a trip home planned for the holidays and I was not able to leave during Q4 (my job and Singapore hit a new low) so meeting his family (in person, we had skyped many times by then) at that time was not an option.

We decided to make the jump from Singapore in January 2012. The company I was with at the time did not hold up to their end of the bargain (despite record 2011 success *grrr*) so I let them know that I would finish out Q1 (ended up being late April ha) and be on my way. Before I even quit, James was trying to get sponsorship interviewing at all hours of the night with various US based companies. We were convinced that 'it would be easier on the ground' and with very loose planning, we packed up our things and moved to Denver :-| :-| :-| Yeah, I know.

After a whirlwind of finding our new (yet again TEMPORARY) home, we realize that 'the ground,' is no different here than when we were in Singapore. 'Sigh' I know I know, we did not do our research and two grown worldly adults should know better but we had a predicament. We had a couple job offers in Australia but we realized, more uprooting, more stress, more being away from family (2 flights away for him), and more years away from starting our own family. After consulting with both our families, we got married with the concession that we would have a 'real' wedding in a year and a half (once his dad was recovered from treatment). So here we are; no wedding photos (aside from the cheesy picture taken on a Tuesday with his camera phone outside the government building), with no family, and an interview date set for September 26th.

Since he had/has no social security number (it just got approved on the 27th though woooo!) he has not been able to get on anything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G is under my name. We live together, we have tons and tons of pictures together; but we have no bills together, no lease together, NO WEDDING PICTURES. To say the least, iamstressingout.

So here I am, therapeutically writing you all on my break hoping that someone out there has had a similar situation and can help me convey that my marriage is bona fide. I love this man, I do not plan on divorce EVER, I want to bear his children, and I don't even care if we have a 'real' wedding, I am his wife! Your insight into this is greatly appreciated so any help/advice/prayers/experience/etc is welcome!

Thank you all for reading my story and I look forward to your responses.

Natalie

[Krikit 1,165]

Moving from K-1 Process to AOS From Other Visa.

Welcome to VJ.

[didopage 337]

Do you have a joint bank account? Pictures of you AFTER your wedding (until now)? Can you have statement of family or friends?

There are various kind of documents that can prove your relationship. Look at the interview letter, they provide lots of examples.

Edited August 28, 2012 by didopage

[X Factor 1,112]

Do you have a joint bank account? Pictures of you AFTER your wedding (until now)? Can you have statement of family or friends?

There are various kind of documents that can prove your relationship. Look at the interview letter, they provide lots of examples.

[Lornaevo 48]

This is one of the most beautifully written posts I've ever seen.

I suggest you add his name to your bank account and get a printout from the bank

Also a notarized letter would suffice in lieu of the lease.

My wife and I took pics on my cell phone At the court house when we got married also. We didn't have a reception.

Good luck.

[natalieblake 0]

This is one of the most beautifully written posts I've ever seen.

I suggest you add his name to your bank account and get a printout from the bank

Also a notarized letter would suffice in lieu of the lease.

My wife and I took pics on my cell phone At the court house when we got married also. We didn't have a reception.

Good luck.

Thank you! I did look at the letter but I do not remember reading anything about notarized letter. I appreciate it, I will get tons of letters together then! I will try to add him to my bank too. Thank you!

Do you have a joint bank account? Pictures of you AFTER your wedding (until now)? Can you have statement of family or friends?

There are various kind of documents that can prove your relationship. Look at the interview letter, they provide lots of examples.

Thank you! I didn't know that notarized letters were an option. I do have a lot of pictures of us both pre and post marriage. I appreciate the quick reply!

[Darnell 8,479]

POST marriage photos, is great for photo evidence, for your type of 'adjustment of status' case.

[DandT14 272]

I got married in Reno and didn't have a single picture of me or my husband from our wedding day. We took a picture of the cheesy wedding chapel and that's about it. The IO was find with it, even seemed to think it was a little funny. We had lots of other pictures though, from when we first met until right before our interview.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You are worrying over nothing. Wedding photos are not a requirement. The cheesy ones you have are fine. USCIS understands that newlyweds don't have a lot of evidence. Get what you can now that he has a SSN, and stop worrying. Do you have photos of you in SIngapore? They want to see you have a valid relationship - they know you are newlyweds and have a good reason for having no joint finances yet (he had no SSN). If worse comes to worse, they will ask you about your daily life, like "what did you eat for dinner last night?" and you will answer and that's that. Really. Stop worrying

[Mrs. JHH 3]

Dear Visa Journey Forum,

I met my now British husband, James, in Singapore in August 2011. I was finishing up an 18 month contract when I met him and decided to extend my work commitment to get to know him better. He had just moved there and although I was ready to come home, he was simply irresistible ;P We met through a mutual friend (he walked by as we were having dinner) and the next thing I knew; we were traveling to exotic countries and naming our unborn children. What actually made me realize this was someone worth staying for was his fondness for the US (my biggest fear about meeting someone overseas that would not want to live in the US, especially a smaller state like Colorado.) Living overseas had made me appreciate everything the US has to offer and coming home and being close to family was/is important to me.

Not long after we met, James quickly realized that Singapore was not for him (coming off 4 years in Australia, I could see why!) I was approaching two years and absolutely miserable at the 14 hour work days. The once humorous cultural nuances slowly started to eat away at me and I could tell I was not a pleasant person to be around. NOT IDEAL especially when you meet the man of your dreams! We started talking about moving to the US (we kept it open since the company I was working for was based out of SF) around Christmas. He had a trip home planned for the holidays and I was not able to leave during Q4 (my job and Singapore hit a new low) so meeting his family (in person, we had skyped many times by then) at that time was not an option.

We decided to make the jump from Singapore in January 2012. The company I was with at the time did not hold up to their end of the bargain (despite record 2011 success *grrr*) so I let them know that I would finish out Q1 (ended up being late April ha) and be on my way. Before I even quit, James was trying to get sponsorship interviewing at all hours of the night with various US based companies. We were convinced that 'it would be easier on the ground' and with very loose planning, we packed up our things and moved to Denver :-| :-| :-| Yeah, I know.

After a whirlwind of finding our new (yet again TEMPORARY) home, we realize that 'the ground,' is no different here than when we were in Singapore. 'Sigh' I know I know, we did not do our research and two grown worldly adults should know better but we had a predicament. We had a couple job offers in Australia but we realized, more uprooting, more stress, more being away from family (2 flights away for him), and more years away from starting our own family. After consulting with both our families, we got married with the concession that we would have a 'real' wedding in a year and a half (once his dad was recovered from treatment). So here we are; no wedding photos (aside from the cheesy picture taken on a Tuesday with his camera phone outside the government building), with no family, and an interview date set for September 26th.

Since he had/has no social security number (it just got approved on the 27th though woooo!) he has not been able to get on anything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G is under my name. We live together, we have tons and tons of pictures together; but we have no bills together, no lease together, NO WEDDING PICTURES. To say the least, iamstressingout.

So here I am, therapeutically writing you all on my break hoping that someone out there has had a similar situation and can help me convey that my marriage is bona fide. I love this man, I do not plan on divorce EVER, I want to bear his children, and I don't even care if we have a 'real' wedding, I am his wife! Your insight into this is greatly appreciated so any help/advice/prayers/experience/etc is welcome!

Thank you all for reading my story and I look forward to your responses.

Natalie

Hello Natalie,

I think a lot of people has had the similar experience. I find it very hard to have a wedding party before having a green card approved. A lot of people just can't afford a wedding party, or simply don't feel like spending a lot of money on something that has to be approved by immigration first. I would LOVE to have a wedding once I don't have to worry about green card anymore, you know what I mean? I got married at the celebrant's house and all I have is some blurry pictures of just the two of us signing papers at this celebrant's house. Some of my friends just went to the court house wearing jeans and do not have any pictures of the marriage. They had their green card approved!

Most of us, just want to be with our loved ones and everything else is just superfluous. I believe that the IOs know that we have to go through a lot in terms of procedures. Bottom line, the IO just want to see if we have a real marriage relationship, which is what we do everyday.

So, yeah, take all the pictures you have and tell your story which is legitimate. And try to get him in your bank account and get letters from friends and family as the other VJers recommend.

Best of luck and let us know how your interview went.

J

[natalieblake 0]

I got married in Reno and didn't have a single picture of me or my husband from our wedding day. We took a picture of the cheesy wedding chapel and that's about it. The IO was find with it, even seemed to think it was a little funny. We had lots of other pictures though, from when we first met until right before our interview.

Thank you, this actually makes me feel a ton better!!!

You are worrying over nothing. Wedding photos are not a requirement. The cheesy ones you have are fine. USCIS understands that newlyweds don't have a lot of evidence. Get what you can now that he has a SSN, and stop worrying. Do you have photos of you in SIngapore? They want to see you have a valid relationship - they know you are newlyweds and have a good reason for having no joint finances yet (he had no SSN). If worse comes to worse, they will ask you about your daily life, like "what did you eat for dinner last night?" and you will answer and that's that. Really. Stop worrying

We have a lot of pictures from Singapore! Thank you!

Hello Natalie,

I think a lot of people has had similar experience. I find it very hard to have a wedding party before having a green card approved. A lot of people just can't afford a wedding party, or simply don't feel like spending a lot of money on something that has to be approved by immigration first. I would LOVE to have a wedding once I don't have to worry about green card anymore, you know what I mean? I got married at the celebrant's house and all I have is some blurry pictures of just the two of us signing papers at this celebrant's house. Some of my friends just went to the court house wearing jeans and do not have any pictures of the marriage. They had their green card approved!

Most of us, just want to be with our loved ones and everything else is just superfluous. I believe that the IOs know that we have to go through a lot in terms of procedures. Bottom line, the IO just want to see if we have a real marriage relationship, which is what we do everyday.

So, yeah, take all the pictures you have and tell your story which is legitimate. And try to get him in your bank account and get letters from friends and family as the other VJers recommend.

Best of luck and let us know how your interview went.

J

Thank you :) :)

[Darnell 8,479]

Congratulations on the approval and thanks so much for writing up that USCIS office review. Helps others coming up behind you, you betcha.