Very overwhelmed, just starting everything. Please help!!

[tatelee 2]

Hi guys.

Ok this might be a long posting, but here it goes. My fiancee is American and I am Canadian. We are getting married by a judge with just 2 witnesses on sept 7/12 in the USA, because we want my Canadian pastor to do the religious church wedding cermony. He cannot legally marry people in the USA. Also, my family needs some time to save up and pay for it. Our religious ceremony will not be until Feb 2/13. I guess it's more a vow renewal as we are already legally married. However, we cannot afford rings right now, so the exchange of those wont happen until Feb 2/12. Now, I wasnt thinking of changing my name until after I recieve my visa (so I guess that would be 5-6 months after my religious ceremony, and like 10-12 months after my legal ceremony) as we don't really want people to know we are legally married on our feb 2 date (our family would not approve)

So, thats the back story, but here are the questions.

1)Is it ok to not change my name until after the visa and just use my Maiden name on the application (lots of people dont change their name), or will that look fishy and not like a real marriage? Or should I just suck it up and change it legally after the legal ceremony before the religious one, to avoid future problems?

2)I noticed on people's timelines that there is usually around 2-4 months between marriage and sending in the I-130 package. Why is that? I mean, it doesnt really seem like you need to get a lot together? Fill out 3 forms, get some proof of bonafide marriage, photocopy some things, get some picture...voila! Is it because of waiting for name changes or what is the scoop?

3)If I am in the process of awaiting a visa still during my religious ceremony on Feb 2/13, will I still be able to travel outside Canada/US for my honeymoon?

4)Will it look fishy that our legal and religious ceremony dates were 5 months apart? I mean, we have TONS of evidnce to support this being a real relationship. We even have a super duper romantic propsal all on a surprise video, cards, letters, email correspondance, phone conversations, skype etc.

Thank you so much for your help. I know its alot, im just overwhlemed!

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

1. You can use what name you want.

2. No reason; I assume they are disorganized

3. You can travel while your visa is pending.

4. No, it won't.

So, it looks like your plan is to get legally married nowish so you can start paperwork for a spousal visa to the US? It that correct? Then, you will have your ceremony in Feb and have a headstart on the visa, moving to the US a few months later (when it is issued). Correct?

[tatelee 2]

1. You can use what name you want.

2. No reason; I assume they are disorganized

3. You can travel while your visa is pending.

4. No, it won't.

So, it looks like your plan is to get legally married nowish so you can start paperwork for a spousal visa to the US? It that correct? Then, you will have your ceremony in Feb and have a headstart on the visa, moving to the US a few months later (when it is issued). Correct?

Exactly correct!! Will this work? Do people do this and get approved??

[dwheels76 5,468]

There are so many reasons people wait to file but I will give a few I know some people did including me. I was married May 3, 2011. I was living with my husband in Nigeria from March 18, 2011 until Septrmber 27, 2011. I filed March 3, 2012. Biggest reason I waited I was unemployed and really really was seeking a job. A co-sponsor is just not an option we want to do. I grew tired and threw caution to the wind and on our 3 month 1 week 5 days since our NOA1 we got approved and I got a job offer so it was all good.

Another reason why people wait is paperwork, divorce decrees and such. It's funny until you sit down and start doing this it can be masssive. And it is time consuming going through emails, IM's, chats, text. You know.

Than lastly if you are dealing with high fraud countries (like Nigeria) Canada is safe one. Filing right after marriage is considered a red flag. So some may hold off to not look like they just rushing things.

Also with high fraud countries the evidence I will send in will be very different than yours in amount and content. It is what it is. I have had friends who submitted 15 lbs, 11 lbs, 10 lbs and a little less in their I-130 petition. Nigeria does not kid around and proving you are in a Bonafide relationship is not a walk in the park for us.

You are blessed to be up North. It will be cool.

And yes to keeping your maiden name until you are ready to change it.

And many people have court weddings just read through the threads it's like 80 to 90%. I had a courthouse wedding. When I go back for my husbands interview we will have 4 weeks and finally have the formal and traditional wedding we dreamed. No one thinks it weird. Our courthouse wedding makes us just as married as Kate and Will.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Exactly correct!! Will this work? Do people do this and get approved??

Yes, it is a great plan.

[tatelee 2]

Yes, it is a great plan.

Thank you so much! Someone told me it would look fishy if I didn't change my last name before filing and I was sad, as I really wanted to wait. Both your gals response's just made my day!

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Thank you so much! Someone told me it would look fishy if I didn't change my last name before filing and I was sad, as I really wanted to wait. Both your gals response's just made my day!

That someone was wrong.

[dwheels76 5,468]

Thank you so much! Someone told me it would look fishy if I didn't change my last name before filing and I was sad, as I really wanted to wait. Both your gals response's just made my day!

Hehe u r sweet. Fishy. This is 2012 women keep their maiden names you know. You could be a hot new celebrity all we know do they change their names. The name changing "fishy" comes up especially for the hgh fraud. Because it looks like "she" isn't that into him and committed. But many haven't changed and CO's have been told at interview. "She will change her name after I arrive". And I think too for many of us we need Visa's to our love ones and to pay and get visa put on new passport with new name ughhhh, than the drivers license, SS card. You know. They know.

And frankly if a relationship hinges on a name chamge by the woman well maybe there are other issues. Just saying.