fighting VAWA

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

What has your current husband said about the energy you've devoted to this?

An astute question.

U R divorced so move on, your feelings are hurt, but he's off somewhere being happy...somehow this story does not

surprise me, these worldwind engagements uh....Oh well chalk it up as experience and get the proofs U have of him

luring the underage to the authorities & maybe contact her parents they'll move faster than the police who may feel U have

an axe to grind

RIght. Positive energy should be focused on the new relationship.

[Olomi_811 130]

Honestly, not much energy has been put into it. The information almost just fell on my lap. Now I feel like I should do something with it. He feels I should just write the USCIS a letter and detail all the events of him leaving, etc. and then just leave it in their hands. He also thought that the conversation the 16 year old girl forwarded me should be sent to his job, the police and most of all his family back in Nigeria. AFter that, he feels it will be in God's hands and just leave it at that. I kind of agree. But to me, he just does not deserve to be in the US. He got there on false pretenses. Why is he allowed to be there? It's just getting me mad.

Go with what your husband has told you and let things fall where they may.

[Olomi_811 130]

Whether the OP is remarried or not is of no concern of yours of mine, but I do know one thing, if I were her new partner I would be helping her fight to clear her name, I would help her every step of the way. So rather than making the OP feel guilty for trying to clear her name after been scammed and probably found guilty of abuse (VAWA) you should offer support and not make her feel guilty for trying to clear her name. I think your post is disgusting!

OP I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you get the guys backside thrown out of the US, GOOD LUCK

You have every right to think whatever you like. It's apparent that you haven't read other threads posted by the OP to be informed enough to know and ask. I haven't seen a Nigerian husband yet WHO CARES ABOUT HIS WIFE not have an opinion.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

any links to other threads?

[BethandBilly 86]

No offense but whether her husband is from Nigeria or not, is not (at least to me) an issue. I have been to Nigeria many times and met some lovely Nigerian men and women, so before you say I know nothing of the culture you are wrong. Any person that scams their US Spouse should be removed and if they have filed a false VAWA and been granted a GC they should be stripped of it and removed from the US.

I totally get how the US Citizen feels in wanting to clear her name, if it had happened to me I would want to do the same. You're right I have not read her other posts, I am however commenting on this one and that's all there is to it.

OP if you feel you need to fight to clear your name go for it, otherwise chalk it up as a bad experience and lesson learned. All the best OP and good luck with the future

You have every right to think whatever you like. It's apparent that you haven't read other threads posted by the OP to be informed enough to know and ask. I haven't seen a Nigerian husband yet WHO CARES ABOUT HIS WIFE not have an opinion.

[Boiler 45,516]

5 years before he can apply for citizenship, not 3.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

yes Boiler, and in the same line of OP:

"I then find out thru someone that he was given a greencard!!"

HOW, please?

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

yes Boiler, and in the same line of OP:

"I then find out thru someone that he was given a greencard!!"

HOW, please?

She state thru a friend of a friend

[Que Saudade 284]

Any person that scams their US Spouse should be removed and if they have filed a false VAWA and been granted a GC they should be stripped of it and removed from the US.

........

I totally get how the US Citizen feels in wanting to clear her name, if it had happened to me I would want to do the same. .........

OP if you feel you need to fight to clear your name go for it, otherwise chalk it up as a bad experience and lesson learned........

Glad someone else agreed with me. The problem is that VAWA doesn't contact the accused. The policy is definitely needed in society, but policy makers need to re-visit and ask questions about such concerns and how to rectify.

But we all know that issues like immigration, VAWA, etc...... are not going to take precedence over REAL issues that threaten America like Romney's tax returns and Obama's birth certificate.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

No, friend of a friend was reference to something else in the topic. This was in OP: "I then find out thru someone that he was given a greencard!!"

So who can see this information officially?

She state thru a friend of a friend

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

First thanks for being brave enough to share even when you know you are going to be kicked about by the Nigerians can do no wrong crowd.

In many Nigerian communities will assume you somehow tricked the system to get here. Even my husband has had a couple ask him "when will you be moving out because I know someone back home " when that isn't in his plans. Because there are so few that will win the DV lottery or really qualify for it and there is almost no other path to the US unless you are rich there , the internet is seen as a godsend of people ( usually woman ) more than willing to fall in love and fund the whole trip. Even though you have come forward , no one here that will be in your shoes in a year will see the signs in their relationships because there are so smitten by love they can't see straight. My husband thinks some are under the spell of native majic. Once in the hands of their respective Nigerian communitity here they are will cared for. Their people will go to all lengths to make sure they stay. I am certain he had statements from others about the bad acts you did and how you left him helpless on the streets to support his VAWA claim. If you have proof he is trolling for minors do report him. Reporting to the immedate childs parents will only make him find others , although he is probably after many already.

Every case like this is another reason Lagos is hell for legimate couples yet not hard enough to really rule out the fraud. The process is truely broken and not improving.

[islandgal 74]

Hi everyone. I will try to condense the story and just say, in 2007 I went to Nigeria for a short time to meet a guy I met online in 2006. I came home and filed the fiance petition, he was granted the K-1 Visa. He came and we married within a month. We needed 1000 dollars to file the adjustment of status but didnt have the money at the time to do this because 1. I had supported him AND myself the whole time he was in Nigeria since meeting him in 2006 online (even before i ever went to see him). 2. I paid for the entire trip to Nigeria myself. 3. I paid for his plane ticket to come to the US after he was given the visa....so yeah, I was pretty much in a financial wreck. So I didnt have the 1000 to start the adjustment of status. I guess he got impatient and after 2 months (after meeting a network of other Nigerians in our area), he took off....disappeared. AFter 3 weeks of him being gone I went to Homeland SEcurity and told them I think I had been used for a visa for him to get here. They had me write a statement explaining that he left and that I no longer wanted to support him, etc. I gave it to her after writing it, and she said it will go in his file. A week later, he appeared again and I was foolish enough to take him back. I never retracted anything I had wrote that day at Homeland security and I never even told him I did that. Another month goes by and although I was trying my best to save the $1000 while maintaining our household, I was still just observing his moves to see if he was really here for me or what. A month goes by, and he takes off again. This time for 3 weeks. He comes back, I let him back again. At this point there was no way in Hell I was in any rush to start adjusting anything cuz I felt he was only coming back cuz he felt he had a better chance to stay with me and get his greencard and THEN leave. So I watched what will happen, and sure enough 2 months later, he left AGAIN. This time for good. He disappeared, changed his number, wouldnt respond me on email, messenger, nothing. At that point, I just moved on with my life and try to pretend he never existed even though I was devestated. My friends said that I should try to have him deported, etc...but after going thru so much effort to get him here...and then try to make him stay..the fight in me was gone. I didnt want to waste one more day of my life even thinking about this guy. After some months, I found out thru some other Nigerian friends of mine, that he PROBABLY had filed the thing called VAWA. I had no idea what that was, but it all made sense to me when I started hearing about it. Its like as soon as he got with his "network of Nigerian friends" they must've schooled him on the whole process and how to 'beat the system". I was furious cuz I could only imagine the lies he must've made up just to try to convince them that he was somehow the victim. I was disgusted to know that they don't even try to get your side of anything!! And wouldnt they have seen the first letter I had wrote when he first left in his so-called file ? I was pretty devestated as if everything wasnt so bad already with the whole situation. Anyhow, I just tried to kick it off me so that I didnt drown in all of it. So fast forward about a year, I filed for a divorce which was going to take a long time to do cuz I didnt know where he was so I had to do the newspaper publication and all that #######. I then find out thru someone that he was given a greencard!! a 10 year one if im not mistaken and that he was even boasting about how in 3 years he could apply to become a citizen!! I ws so disgusted by this. He played the whole victim role and tried to make me think it was all me 'and my imagination". LIke when I found a profile of him on Naijapals that he had set up once he came to the US and NEVER told me about it. He had himself listed on there as SINGLE and had a bunch of comments to other women on his profile, etc. Or how I found phone records of him calling "singles chat lines". but when confronted he told me, he just did that to see if I was watching his phone calls!! OMGGGG ...The guy is a real winner. So im sure he never told USCIS that he is this type of guy. I now have done some investigating and I found out where he lives, works, his phone number, etc. I had one of my friends "friend" him on facebook and withing 2 days he was telling her he loved her, and talking all kinds of 'sexual stuff" to her. We even went as far as catching him talking to someone who clearly said they were 16 years old (he is 37) and he was asking her for nude pics, and telling her all kinds of sexual things he wants to do with her. He is trying to set up her coming to see him next weekend. SOOO..my question is...He has had his greencard for probably about a year and a half. Is it too late for me to do anything? Is it too late to present any evidence to immigration or do anything???? And if it's not too late, where do I begin? Thanks for listening and any advice you can give!!

My goodness. So sorry you went through all of this, but we all know this guy is a real tool. I don't think there's anything you can do at this point since he has his 10yr greencard. I wish the government would have something in place that if things like these were discovered, there would be some recourse. Sigh.

[Sajid6695 5]

If you wanna have your revenge because there is nothing sweeter than revenge then you can do something about it. You feel he walked all over you, used to you get here, and left you scarred emotionally. Since you have his recordings of talking to minors sexually, take that to the police and talk to a detective, abuse against minors is a big no no and you will need some evidence which you have and then let the police and INS handle it. You dont need to prove to anyone that you are a good person.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I recall a lot of reference within this topic on the ease of adjudicating. A lot of references to damning social network evidence. References to OP having other topics.

I do not recall links to other topics, or who has seen spouse's GC

[NY_BX 397]

To fight or not to fight?

It is well established that, once a GC... [almost] always a GC. There was a poster here that cleverly stated it is amazing that we have been desensitized and we just let things happen like that [paraphrasing]. I agree and it is just horrible!

You're divorced, fantastic. So yes, move on emotionally.

That said, I am waiting for that one brave scam victim- and if there's one please by all means let us know- that've said: "you know what, you got your GC; you lied about me and our relationship. You used me and on top of that accused me unjustifiably. Fo**k that #######! I will fight for all of those who have been wronged."

Why is it that these shenanigans can get a "lawyer" friend to coach them and the scam victims can't get a "lawyer" friend to counter claim this $*hit?

Why is it that once these shenanigans have a GC or have become a citizen and the victim just sits tights counting the money they lost?

I say enough is enough! Someone needs to bring this people to justice. They want to stay? sure, but you need to give me my money back, for example.

Everyone has the right to sue for defamation, or distress and mental anguish; for harassment or hostile environment; for [fill in the blank]. Let's serve those idiots and see where it leads.

I know there was a case in Florida of a Cuban man that scammed a lady up to his name. She sued and accused him of rape. Well, the claim said, if you marry someone you claim to know completely and suddenly even his/her name is a lie, that person- who consummated the marriage- may feel violated. Now I don't know how this will affect scamming for immigration purposes, but hey, the point is the lady fought and won.

I think there's a network help scam victims in civil court, please advice.

Thank you and good luck!