is my fiance a fraud?

[photomile 101]

Ok i have read through your comments and i really appreciate the advice. I am now preparing a letter to send to the consulate. I told him this morning that we are done and i can't continue with him because he doesn't respect me. He said i am accusing him of things i don't know anything about. He also said that i can't end it how, because i already signed with the US Government to petition him. I told him that is not true , i can withdraw the petition and then he started to say why suddenly i am acting this way and all he wants is to be with me. So i asked him what would happen then if i came to Jamaica to live with him, he said jobs are hard to get and i wont make enough money and we wont survive and that i wont have my comfortable living and that it is not good that baby stays in that environment. He started to basically tell me everything that was wrong with Jamaica and why it wont be good for us and we wont be able to make ends meet. I told him i have my savings to start up with and he said that won't do because life is hard and the government take big taxes. What do you guys think? Thank you so much again for helping me through this time.

-Kristina

This is going to be a hugely tough decision to make. No matter what the evidence is in front of you, you petitioned for him because you love or loved him. Everyone here has jumped (with good reason) onto the fraud train, and personally yes I agree that this person seems to be fraudulent. However, this is a very big decision, a tough one and one only you can make. Be certain that it is what you want to do because there isn't a way of turning back.

For the record, yes I agree with the suspicion that this person is fraudulent and I personally think you should withdraw the petition. If he is unwilling to support you in a move to Jamaica, then to me it's fairly clear what his intentions are or were. However I, as well as everyone else here, know full well that this is a very difficult process to go through, there is a lot of stress and heartache. I honestly think when it comes to this. you need to sit and talk with people who are close to you for a while and be certain of the decision you are going to make and once you do, commit to it. You've had good reason to be suspicious already and there is clearly doubt in your mind about this persons intentions. You've done very well to get this far and you're certainly stronger than I am. The final ties are hard to cut, but sometimes it takes someone close to your heart to remind you that you're doing the right thing.

[SweetieOne 41]

Woooiiieeeee!! I would love to be listening on that call when she tells him that!

Right, a lizzard on di wall... Cha :bonk: :bonk:

[kate&javi 26]

Ok i have read through your comments and i really appreciate the advice. I am now preparing a letter to send to the consulate. I told him this morning that we are done and i can't continue with him because he doesn't respect me. He said i am accusing him of things i don't know anything about. He also said that i can't end it how, because i already signed with the US Government to petition him. I told him that is not true , i can withdraw the petition and then he started to say why suddenly i am acting this way and all he wants is to be with me. So i asked him what would happen then if i came to Jamaica to live with him, he said jobs are hard to get and i wont make enough money and we wont survive and that i wont have my comfortable living and that it is not good that baby stays in that environment. He started to basically tell me everything that was wrong with Jamaica and why it wont be good for us and we wont be able to make ends meet. I told him i have my savings to start up with and he said that won't do because life is hard and the government take big taxes. What do you guys think? Thank you so much again for helping me through this time.

-Kristina

Hi Kristina,

I think his reaction to you moving there really showed his true colors and true intentions. I think he is only making excuses so that you don't move there, just so he can get his visa to come to the USA. Listen, I moved to my fiance's country with NO job lined up and decided to stay. I also came with my savings (which weren't very much, to be honest) and looked for a job. I found not one, but two, jobs (quit the first one) and even though I make a lot less money than I would in the USA, and I'm not living the same life that I would in the USA, we DO survive. It's totally possible, no matter where you live, to survive on the salaries that the country gives, so sincerely I think he is only giving excuses for you not to come there. I would really careful with him and think hard about what to do in your position. My fiance never asked me to stay in his country, but I knew that being separated was too hard for us so we made it work that way. We have a good life, and we will have a good life in the US... I always think of 'home' and my 'life' being with him, no matter where we are or how much money we make, that our RELATIONSHIP builds our home, not where we live in the world. Think hard and think clearly! Good luck!

Kate

PS: We live in a dangerous country with a lot of violence, but that never stopped us from living our life to the fullest while we are -- even though the environment may not be "ideal" in some people's eyes, people DO raise kids and have families in other countries, it's not like people will only have kids if they live in the US or a "safe" place that they think is "ideal." You make a relationship work ANYWHERE!

Edited August 24, 2012 by kate&javi

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

My husband comes from a poor country and his home in the village is as poor as can be. Would he tell me how impossingle it is if I said I wanted to live there . No.I have seen the home and was welcomed there. However it lacks my 2 basics , a kitchen and a bathroom with something vaguely recognisable as a toilet. He has told me that if i want to visit for a long time he will arrange for me to stay at the uncles which has both and a gated compound until we can make something at his compound. Your fiance should have acted the same unless his only goal is to enter the US or he has a wife there he is hiding.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

Thanks for all your guys comment and help. How do i contact the consulate, when i was inquiring about the case i wasn't able to contact them by telephone? Do i need to send a letter so they can have it in writing? I don't know what to do. How do i prove that those are his intentions? We also have a child on the way, how will this affect his rights? will i have to take the child to see him? this is all so overwhelming!

there's no way to contact the embassy via phone... to get case=related information. You can email them and you will usually get a response in 1-5 business days. How long after you met him did you submit a request for him... how did you meet him..

Tell him you're thinking to relocate to Jamaica rather than him moving to where you are.... Hmmm see what his reactions will be! His rights in Jamaica will not be affected.. if you take the child to him - that would be up to you. The local government does not pull strings to seal local family affairs ... not to mention international family affairs.

[QueenE 174]

Coming to visit and living there are two different things. I dont think your fiance telling you why living in jamaica isnt ideal is a red flag. Anyone else who says that their fiance would have acted differently is being delusional, because if that was the case why would any of us put ourselves through this stressful process.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

Ok i have read through your comments and i really appreciate the advice. I am now preparing a letter to send to the consulate. I told him this morning that we are done and i can't continue with him because he doesn't respect me. He said i am accusing him of things i don't know anything about.

He also said that i can't end it how, because i already signed with the US Government to petition him. I told him that is not true

, i can withdraw the petition and then he started to say why suddenly i am acting this way and all he wants is to be with me. So i asked him what would happen then if i came to Jamaica to live with him, he said jobs are hard to get and i wont make enough money and we wont survive and that i wont have my comfortable living and that it is not good that baby stays in that environment. He started to basically tell me everything that was wrong with Jamaica and why it wont be good for us and we wont be able to make ends meet. I told him i have my savings to start up with and he said that won't do because life is hard and the government take big taxes. What do you guys think? Thank you so much again for helping me through this time.

-Kristina

Hahah he got some nerves to say you cant end it now... sounding like a staright fool.. sorry to say.

he sounds like he want to just leave.. i'm sorry but what is your ethnicity .. I ask this because i know how Jamaican men prey

[NY_BX 397]

Coming to visit and living there are two different things. I dont think your fiance telling you why living in jamaica isnt ideal is a red flag. Anyone else who says that their fiance would have acted differently is being delusional, because if that was the case why would any of us put ourselves through this stressful process.

Somewhat true, but I remember being stressed about this process and my now husband talking to some peers to see if I can get a job in Egypt. I remember his family asking me: "if he's not approved would you come live with us?" I was the one that said 'no.' That's the difference. Of course, there's interest in moving, but the interest should be on the excitement to start a new life with your significant other not JUST the adventure of moving to the US.

[QueenE 174]

If he is committing fraud he really sucks at it.After 7 tourist visas! You think he would of learned after the 3rd. Then makin idiotic comments like that to his final chance.

Hahah he got some nerves to say you cant end it now... sounding like a staright fool.. sorry to say.

he sounds like he want to just leave.. i'm sorry but what is your ethnicity .. I ask this because i know how Jamaican men prey

[djricky4 67]

this is some messed up ish dude's trying damage control, he realize his only chance is crumbling right at his feet. No dude should tell his/her fiancee that he/she is bugging him regardless of what country he/she is from. This should be one of the happiest times of your lives(at least for us) and if you cant be happy now, when is it going to happen?? the worst part is past and he is about a month away from setting foot on american soil, something he tried to do 7 times before and fail. If he is dealing with you like that now and he is in Jamaica. what is he gonna do there?

i find it hard that he starts talking about money and all when the exchange rate of USD to JMD is favorable here. Dudes tryna play you ma, your not the first and wont be the last, its up to you to take the risk on something you have serious doubt about

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

Coming to visit and living there are two different things. I dont think your fiance telling you why living in jamaica isnt ideal is a red flag. Anyone else who says that their fiance would have acted differently is being delusional, because if that was the case why would any of us put ourselves through this stressful process.

Give your self a break.. ppl are talking based on what is written.... living.. visiting ...no difference I know many ppl who live in both countries and are successful .. think

[MayRon 1]

Contact the U.S. embassy if your case has been forwarded there for an interview and adjudication. The petitioner must execute a signed, notarized statement that he or she wishes to withdraw the K1 visa petition. Mail the letter to the Immigrant Visa Unit. Fax the letter if you wish but the embassy must receive the original document before your petition is terminated.

[Shiobhan 235]

Oh its very sad when ppl plays with anothers emotions, but U R the one that truly knows the

treatment of this man,s U have to decide whats best for U and this baby,bu maybe your sister

is right...Email the case # and stop it, after 7 atempts this man is trying to get in by any

means necessary, he cant even wait to get visa before acting ungrateful...oodluck

[sera77 35]

Kristina,

I am so sorry that the tactic of offering to move there to Jamaica to be with him didn't work out in the best possible way. Part of me was hoping that he would turn around and be impressed that you would be willing to do that to be with him and he would turn loving and rational again.

At least you have more information now about what he wants and his character. Take care of yourself...

Sera

[elyhim 41]

Coming to visit and living there are two different things. I dont think your fiance telling you why living in jamaica isnt ideal is a red flag. Anyone else who says that their fiance would have acted differently is being delusional, because if that was the case why would any of us put ourselves through this stressful process.

My Fiancee would be ecstatic if I moved to the Philippines. Actually that is the plan once I retire in a few years, we're both 40+.