is my fiance a fraud?

[LSnBigBear 61]

I had a similar situation happen to me in 2008 so learn from my mistakes. I wanted to stop the process within the last 2-3 weeks but was told that the "Embassy in Manila has my case and I should just tell her not to attend the interview" ... Screw that as she went anyway and came to USA. Hindsight is here what to do. First phone the Embassy in Jamaica where he will be attending his Interview. Reference your Case # etc until they have you and he identified. Make sure you get the person on the phone's information from Embassy down to their employee number if you can. Then follow your call up with a written letter canceling all your documents. Mine came to USA as stated and stayed. I never met or saw her while she was here. I am guessing I will receive an RFE this time around due to the past mess I had. Good luck.

[L+T 71]

You guys are great! Thank you. I will contact them asap. Another question, will this affect me if in the future for some reason i decide to file another petition? Should i tell my fiance i will withdraw the petition and that he should not go to the interview? Will they tell him when he goes to his interview?

Multiple petitions are covered under IMBRA. See i-129f instructions. Second petition, not a biggie, once you move past a few, better to get married and file spouse to avoid the IMBRA restrictions for a fiancee. You should at least be honest with him, right?

[baron555 934]

I am so happy i found this site. I filed a petition for my fiance for a k1 visa. Recently i have been having doubts about him being genuine. Now that his interview is coming up, he is acting very strange,he always starts argument with me for no reason. He even made a few comments about he doesn't need me bugging him anymore and he will soon get his visa so he doesn't have to deal with me bugging him. We met february of 2011 and I know that he has applied for about 7 tourists visa,all were denied, is this suspicious?. I don't know what to do, my sister told me i should end things before he commits fraud. What can i do at this stage? How do i know he is planning fraud? Thanks.

-Kristina

Contact the Embassy by email and phone and send a notarized letter requesting them to cancel the K-1 visa approval.

Then you two take more time to vet out your relationship. When you know for sure it is valid, then apply again.

[Vicomi 31]

OP, from the details in your opening post, his behavior is indeed of concern. However, an even bigger alarm is this: who would apply for so many tourist visas -- and keep applying and applying and applying -- without having very serious immigrant intent? Most people would give up after a couple of denials, three at most -- but he persisted.

I'd bet real money that if he came to the U.S. on the K-1, he'd either bail on you immediately or after he got his green card.

Only you know all the details, but from what you said, there's better than a 50% chance that you're merely his vehicle into the U.S. (in my opinion).

Your intuition caused you to express your concerns here. In addition, your sister is alarmed.

Totally, totally agree!!!

[FastTrack 3]

I must say... trust your "GUT INSTINCT" ..... It usually wont fail you.... all the proof you need is your intuition.... there is no other "PROOF" so to speak... 7 denied tourist visa's has even got my gut telling me his intentions aren't "PURE"... That's a lot of failures, and a K1 seems like the only option for him after so many desperate attempts.... how did you meet? online?

[kristinakan 12]

If he already said when he gets his visa you won't need to bug him anymore and the repeat applications, chances are your gut instincts are correct. What he probably doesn't realize is that he'll still need you even after he gets the visa (marriage, AOS, etc). I think you're lucky that he's showing his colors sooner than later. Other K1 filers are not so lucky to get obvious and concrete hints as to their fiance's intentions. As with any relationship, other K1 filers just hope and pray that their fiances mean well and they aren't being used.

I'm just curious, how did you find out about the numerous denied applications? Was he the one to tell you? Regarding your baby, you'll definitely have to consider the fact that he may not be around. There will also be some animosity there if you intend on bringing the baby to meet his dad, etc. Although he'll probably find another unsuspecting soul to sponsor him at a later time and make it to the states anyway (if those are truly his intentions). Sigh.

Another idea that someone already suggested is to withdraw the application and if anything re-do it at a later time. The only problem with this is that he'll harbor resentment because of what you did before and for sure he'll skip when he comes later on.

We have always talked about him coming to visit and i suggested he tried to apply for a tourist visa and he said he already applied for it 6 times so he doesn't think he will get it but he tried again anyways one more time in November. Then we decided to file the petition after that.

[kristinakan 12]

OP, how many days in total have you spent with him in person?

Have you met his folks and had the ability to judge his moral fiber? Or were you all in complete vacation mode?

This is a crucial undertaking with potentially dastardly consequences if one were to chose the wrong mate. I am alarmed that an offspring is involved.

Gowon can't tell you what to do but if it were him he woudl at least put the petition on hold (withhold critical documents necessary for a successful interview) while you reevaluate.

We were together in January 2011 (We met), May 2011 ,August 2011 and December 2011. All between 10-14 days. I only met a few of his family, his brother and his mother.

[kristinakan 12]

I must say... trust your "GUT INSTINCT" ..... It usually wont fail you.... all the proof you need is your intuition.... there is no other "PROOF" so to speak... 7 denied tourist visa's has even got my gut telling me his intentions aren't "PURE"... That's a lot of failures, and a K1 seems like the only option for him after so many desperate attempts.... how did you meet? online?

We didn't meet online, we met at a club in kinston. I was in Jamaica for the end of January to the first week in February and we met during that time.

[Lonelywithouthim 5]

I can't speak to the child custody issues, but as far as the visa, I would send them an email followed up by some sort of documentation. Seems like this is their email:

kingstonivinfo@state.gov

I'm not sure about Jamaica, but Thailand requires the subject line in the email to look like this:

IV Inquiry <case number here>

Then state your concerns in the body of the message. You can find your case number on the letter you received from NVC.

You should also include his name, passport# and his birth date on the email. Those were the information requested from me when I initially contacted the embassy and now, I include it with every email. Good luck !

[kristinakan 12]

Ok i have read through your comments and i really appreciate the advice. I am now preparing a letter to send to the consulate. I told him this morning that we are done and i can't continue with him because he doesn't respect me. He said i am accusing him of things i don't know anything about. He also said that i can't end it how, because i already signed with the US Government to petition him. I told him that is not true , i can withdraw the petition and then he started to say why suddenly i am acting this way and all he wants is to be with me. So i asked him what would happen then if i came to Jamaica to live with him, he said jobs are hard to get and i wont make enough money and we wont survive and that i wont have my comfortable living and that it is not good that baby stays in that environment. He started to basically tell me everything that was wrong with Jamaica and why it wont be good for us and we wont be able to make ends meet. I told him i have my savings to start up with and he said that won't do because life is hard and the government take big taxes. What do you guys think? Thank you so much again for helping me through this time.

-Kristina

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I think he was showing his true colors before, and now that you are ending it he is pretending to be nice to fool you. If he loved you he would want to live you anywhere in the world, not just the US.

[kennym 275]

Ok i have read through your comments and i really appreciate the advice. I am now preparing a letter to send to the consulate. I told him this morning that we are done and i can't continue with him because he doesn't respect me. He said i am accusing him of things i don't know anything about. He also said that i can't end it how, because i already signed with the US Government to petition him. I told him that is not true , i can withdraw the petition and then he started to say why suddenly i am acting this way and all he wants is to be with me. So i asked him what would happen then if i came to Jamaica to live with him, he said jobs are hard to get and i wont make enough money and we wont survive and that i wont have my comfortable living and that it is not good that baby stays in that environment. He started to basically tell me everything that was wrong with Jamaica and why it wont be good for us and we wont be able to make ends meet. I told him i have my savings to start up with and he said that won't do because life is hard and the government take big taxes. What do you guys think? Thank you so much again for helping me through this time.

-Kristina

I really respect your strength; I have to only say, if you don't think you can live with a guy who will treat you the way he has, then you're doing the right thing.. You can't just look at yesterday, today or tomorrow.. think about down the road..

It seems he's made some teribly asertive comments to you and treated the woman who's carrying his baby, like everything you're doing for him is insignificant.. It seems to me from the things you shared with us, that he wasn't considering your feelings or welfare when he said those things..

Pressure or no pressure, (like some have said) this is not acceptable.. and it's certainly indication of things to come if you continue to allow it...

Edited August 24, 2012 by kennym

[KayandJunior 4]

Hi Kristina,

I truly understand your concern. In order to commit to this process you do not want to have any doubts about your partner sincerity. People will show you signs of their true character, the problem is we choose not to believe them. If you feel in your heart that something is not right then it most likely is not. Trust your instincts, they will not stir you wrong.

If the relationship is meant to last then waiting longer to figure things out will not affect it. No one can make this decision but you.

Good luck!

[Vicomi 31]

Ok i have read through your comments and i really appreciate the advice. I am now preparing a letter to send to the consulate. I told him this morning that we are done and i can't continue with him because he doesn't respect me. He said i am accusing him of things i don't know anything about. He also said that i can't end it how, because i already signed with the US Government to petition him. I told him that is not true , i can withdraw the petition and then he started to say why suddenly i am acting this way and all he wants is to be with me. So i asked him what would happen then if i came to Jamaica to live with him, he said jobs are hard to get and i wont make enough money and we wont survive and that i wont have my comfortable living and that it is not good that baby stays in that environment. He started to basically tell me everything that was wrong with Jamaica and why it wont be good for us and we wont be able to make ends meet. I told him i have my savings to start up with and he said that won't do because life is hard and the government take big taxes. What do you guys think? Thank you so much again for helping me through this time.

-Kristina

Hi Kristina, here's my two cents worth. I think your fiance desperately wants to enter the US and right now he probably realise that he may have messed up this opportunity. Right now, he is probably thinking about damage control and what he can do to salvage this situation. It's likely he is going to try to "dazzle you with words". Then he is probably going to tell you that "no child should grow up without his father". Then he'll blame it on your pregnancy hormones, perhaps get some friends'family to call you to tell you how much he loves you etc, etc , etc. In short, I have learnt that people will say and do whatever they have to, to get what they want. But ultimately the final decision about your future rests with you and I sincerely wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do. (F)

[NY_BX 397]

Ok i have read through your comments and i really appreciate the advice. I am now preparing a letter to send to the consulate. I told him this morning that we are done and i can't continue with him because he doesn't respect me. He said i am accusing him of things i don't know anything about. He also said that i can't end it how, because i already signed with the US Government to petition him. I told him that is not true , i can withdraw the petition and then he started to say why suddenly i am acting this way and all he wants is to be with me. So i asked him what would happen then if i came to Jamaica to live with him, he said jobs are hard to get and i wont make enough money and we wont survive and that i wont have my comfortable living and that it is not good that baby stays in that environment. He started to basically tell me everything that was wrong with Jamaica and why it wont be good for us and we wont be able to make ends meet. I told him i have my savings to start up with and he said that won't do because life is hard and the government take big taxes. What do you guys think? Thank you so much again for helping me through this time.

-Kristina

These are my thoughts and by no means take these as an expert's advice. I apologize in advance if the tone is comedic....

First, why would you accuse someone of something you know NOTHING about? That's nonsense, unless you're crazy. I know people that've accused others of cheating, and well, they were wrong. That's insecurity and emotions taking over common sense. In your case, however, it sounds like you have reason enough to accuse him of mistreating you, even long distance. So, you know nothing about how he offends you? you know nothing about your own gut instinct regarding his intentions? That doesn't make any sense only because what you know is all a reaction to his actions.

Second, why would he pull out the "you signed an agreement with the USA card" to petition for him in the middle of a break-up conversation? That to me is insane.

I swear this is a dramedy short film: A fight breaks out on the phone... Her: "I'm done with you! I can't handle how you treat me!" Him: "You can't leave me now!" Her: "Why? because we're having a baby?" Him: "No, because you petitioned me and you signed a contract with the US Government." You get my point.

Third, the moment you took control, the moment you told him 'you're wrong'.... you took the power away from him. And guess what? Then he started being nice to you. Furthermore, he wanted justifications as to why are 'you doing this to him.' That to me is a clear sign is using you as a bridge to jump ship and stay here.

Fourth, to top things off, he reasons with you on how it is practically impossible to live in Jamaica, let alone raise a child. Maybe he's right.... I certainly don't know. But the point is- going by what you posted here- all he wants is to be in the US and sure you're the added element. It sounds to me you're a temporary fix to a permanent solution.

Finally- all this said- go with your GUT INSTINCT, please. Trust it. We all can say what we think, but ultimately it is you who have to make the right decision.

Good luck