K2 18 YO UK step-son ran off w/17 YO US girl . . . .

[lisa71 0]

Do we get another udpate? How did things go when we came home?

[Girona40 0]

I hope everything went well, when you went to meet him, and that you all got home safely.

I have kids similar in age to your son and one of the boys did something similar a few years back. Whilst you may be angry now, you will laugh about this in years to come.

Try and keep your cool, but let him know that you were both worried sick and disappointed in the way he handled the situation. Everyone that's going through the immigration process is frustrated to the verge of insanity, but not everyone can just pick up and run away from that frustration, when it suits them.

He's a kid - there is nothing about what they do that makes any sense to us parents! I pity my mother now, knowing the hell I must have put her through, but I couldn't see that at the time.

[Shari 6]

UPDATE: He is home, doesn't think he did anything wrong, doesn't care anyone worried or stressed, doesn't care we drove 4 hours, used a whole tank of gas, and I had to lose a night's worth of typing (I type at night for extra money). He doesn't care at all!

I get home from work and he calls and says the driver/friend didn't get back from the doctor until late so they won't be brining him halfway last night. I say we will go all the way then and get him. Keith talks to the redneck that doesn't even know where he lives compared to the highway. We ask can they take him to somewhere off the highway (an exit) so we can get him so we don't have to go to their town/house. The guy actually agrees to bring him to a town in Alabama, about an hour's drive for them, two hours for us. We exchange cell numbers so when we get closer we can know what exit to meet at.

We drive and drive and I call and he says he is about an hour away (meaning they haven't left) but we are only 30 minutes away. I tell them to call us back in 30 minutes. I tell Keith just to keep driving so we don't have to sit idle and wait. We get past another big town and I call. The guy says, well, just go to the Tennesse state line, about 10 more miles from where we were. We get there, wait 10-15 minutes. They drive up, but the guy wasn't in the car. I'm confused. I had asked him on my last call had they passed a certain town yet. He said no and that is all. They didn't pass it because they had NEVER left their house. They lived 10 minutes from where they told us to meet in Tenneessee, so they strung us along the whole time telling us they were going to meet us in one town. UGH!

Anyhow, Keith gets out of the car, hugs Daryl, the girls looked shocked he is actually hugging Daryl. Maybe Daryl told the girls his dad was a monster, who knows. But then Keith gets stern telling them they did this the whole wrong way, he did not have permission to go, he was an immigrant that did not have paperwork completed yet. Tthey looked wide-eyed and Daryl was trying to get his dad to stop talking. Keith said that Daryl was under the watch of Homeland Security until his paperwork went through (their eyes got bigger), and that they all could have gotten in trouble for taking him out of the state (a little white lie), etc. All the time Daryl was trying to get his dad to be quiet. Hmmm, guess the girls didn't know the whole story. Now we really wonder what he had told them.

Anyhow, we get home, Keith again tells Daryl how much he has put not only his own mother and sister through, but himself, me, my kids, my mom and sister that call everyday wondering, etc. It went in one ear and out the other. He still thinks he did nothing wrong BECAUSE HE IS 18. He called him mom and went to bed (by this time its nearly midnight). So today Keith and Daryl will hopefully have more converation, though we know Daryl will NOT open up. We took the phones out of the room and changed his password on the computer. He is not even aware of this yet.

The strange thing was, when he got in the car last night, I just broke down without meaning to. Tears just streamed down my face and I couldn't even look his direction. I felt sick to my stomach so much I had to open the window and drive with 30 degree wind on me. I guess the 9 day's worth of stress, frustration, anger, etc. all came to a head when he got in the car. Keith held my hand the whole way home, but I never spoke a word to Daryl. Keith had to even tell Daryl he owed me an apology which under his breath he said he was sorry, but I couldn't even acknowledge him I was so distressed.

So, he's back and I'm on edge. Don't know what the day will bring, but will keep you informed. We have a suspicion they might have had something else planned, but I really think the girls were shocked into what Keith told them. We'll see. Thanks again for all the support.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

UPDATE: He is home, doesn't think he did anything wrong, doesn't care anyone worried or stressed, doesn't care we drove 4 hours, used a whole tank of gas, and I had to lose a night's worth of typing (I type at night for extra money). He doesn't care at all!

I get home from work and he calls and says the driver/friend didn't get back from the doctor until late so they won't be brining him halfway last night. I say we will go all the way then and get him. Keith talks to the redneck that doesn't even know where he lives compared to the highway. We ask can they take him to somewhere off the highway (an exit) so we can get him so we don't have to go to their town/house. The guy actually agrees to bring him to a town in Alabama, about an hour's drive for them, two hours for us. We exchange cell numbers so when we get closer we can know what exit to meet at.

We drive and drive and I call and he says he is about an hour away (meaning they haven't left) but we are only 30 minutes away. I tell them to call us back in 30 minutes. I tell Keith just to keep driving so we don't have to sit idle and wait. We get past another big town and I call. The guy says, well, just go to the Tennesse state line, about 10 more miles from where we were. We get there, wait 10-15 minutes. They drive up, but the guy wasn't in the car. I'm confused. I had asked him on my last call had they passed a certain town yet. He said no and that is all. They didn't pass it because they had NEVER left their house. They lived 10 minutes from where they told us to meet in Tenneessee, so they strung us along the whole time telling us they were going to meet us in one town. UGH!

Anyhow, Keith gets out of the car, hugs Daryl, the girls looked shocked he is actually hugging Daryl. Maybe Daryl told the girls his dad was a monster, who knows. But then Keith gets stern telling them they did this the whole wrong way, he did not have permission to go, he was an immigrant that did not have paperwork completed yet. Tthey looked wide-eyed and Daryl was trying to get his dad to stop talking. Keith said that Daryl was under the watch of Homeland Security until his paperwork went through (their eyes got bigger), and that they all could have gotten in trouble for taking him out of the state (a little white lie), etc. All the time Daryl was trying to get his dad to be quiet. Hmmm, guess the girls didn't know the whole story. Now we really wonder what he had told them.

Anyhow, we get home, Keith again tells Daryl how much he has put not only his own mother and sister through, but himself, me, my kids, my mom and sister that call everyday wondering, etc. It went in one ear and out the other. He still thinks he did nothing wrong BECAUSE HE IS 18. He called him mom and went to bed (by this time its nearly midnight). So today Keith and Daryl will hopefully have more converation, though we know Daryl will NOT open up. We took the phones out of the room and changed his password on the computer. He is not even aware of this yet.

The strange thing was, when he got in the car last night, I just broke down without meaning to. Tears just streamed down my face and I couldn't even look his direction. I felt sick to my stomach so much I had to open the window and drive with 30 degree wind on me. I guess the 9 day's worth of stress, frustration, anger, etc. all came to a head when he got in the car. Keith held my hand the whole way home, but I never spoke a word to Daryl. Keith had to even tell Daryl he owed me an apology which under his breath he said he was sorry, but I couldn't even acknowledge him I was so distressed.

So, he's back and I'm on edge. Don't know what the day will bring, but will keep you informed. We have a suspicion they might have had something else planned, but I really think the girls were shocked into what Keith told them. We'll see. Thanks again for all the support.

*HUGS*

God kids are a bloody trial..

Shows he's NOT the man he thinks he is - a real grown up would acknowledge their error in not at LEAST keeping parents informed..tho if he wantts his independence that bad I guess he'll be getting a job soon and paying his own way so he can get his own place and live his life the way he wants to...

[MaryandMian 1]

I am glad Daryl is home now Shari. In a way it is a big relief you know he is safe for the time being but other stresses too. I hope all of you can sit down and have a good heart to heart and come to some type of agreement of what is expected of his behavior while awaiting his AOS processing and beyond. Good luck and hugs.

Mary

[rebeccajo 14]

Oooooh, Shari *hugs*

Well first of all glad he is home safely.

I don't blame you for breaking down. It was relief I'm sure, as well as anger.

It's hard to say how much the girl was aware of. And you may never know the full story unless Daryl decides to come clean.

Kids.

[Girona40 0]

He will tell you all about it, but probably not for a few years! He is home and I was so pleased to hear that his Dad hugged him and pointed out a few things to the girls regarding his USCIS status etc. I am sure they will be worried now and so they should be! I don't expect they will want him to visit them in such a hurry now they know all that! They are probably scared stiff at hearing the words "Homeland Security", not knowing much about the Department, but with the News reporting that they can monitor e-mail and phone calls without permission etc. Yes, they'll be worried now.

I am sure you are relieved but don't you go bottling up how you feel. Let him have it! It will be done with sooner and you will have got how you feel off your chest. I'm sure he's half expecting it and you have every right. But don't let it fester nor let it drag on once it's out. But I feel you should say your piece.

Good luck with the coming days - it will get better and maybe things will get easier for you all as soon as Daryl finds a job and gets to meet some people his own age nearer home.

Kids are sent to try us - and, boy, don't they just?

[Kez/JWolf 6]

So glad he is home safe.... I hope you guys can work something out that all can live with... because at the end of the day Family is all we really have.....

Good Luck you remain in our prayers...

Kezzie

[Mand 1]

I'm glad to hear he's ok.

And I think your husband handled the situation so well, good job bringing up Homeland Security.

[RichardS 0]

Hi Shari...

I just found your posting so I am at least happy that Daryl has returned.

This kid (obviously) has no sense of responsibility and, on the surface, looks like even more (wrose) might have been planned.

You need to try and relax (as best you can) and let Keith deal with this.

Whatever the outcome, it will be the right decision!

Take care and good luck!

[de_sjiem 0]

"Keith said that Daryl was under the watch of Homeland Security until his paperwork went through (their eyes got bigger), and that they all could have gotten in trouble for taking him out of the state (a little white lie), etc." (quote Shari)

Its very rarely a good idea to lie to your kids.. Why do parents lie to their kids and then get confused when the kid turns around and lies to them?? There is no such thing as a little while lie.. a lie is a lie and its not right... No, I dont have kids, but i know well enough that kids learn from their parents, so the parents have to be really careful what they say and do around their kids.. even 18 year olds and older still can and will learn from what their parents do...

[m_and_m20 0]

"Keith said that Daryl was under the watch of Homeland Security until his paperwork went through (their eyes got bigger), and that they all could have gotten in trouble for taking him out of the state (a little white lie), etc." (quote Shari)

Its very rarely a good idea to lie to your kids.. Why do parents lie to their kids and then get confused when the kid turns around and lies to them?? There is no such thing as a little while lie.. a lie is a lie and its not right... No, I dont have kids, but i know well enough that kids learn from their parents, so the parents have to be really careful what they say and do around their kids.. even 18 year olds and older still can and will learn from what their parents do...

ummm....ok.......

I dont think that lying the way that keith did was wrong. Why shouldnt he strike fear into those kids especially after all of the hell they put their parents through!

oh, edited to say....thank god hes back Sheri! try to relax as much as you can!

Edited February 7, 2006 by m_and_m20

[de_sjiem 0]

"Keith said that Daryl was under the watch of Homeland Security until his paperwork went through (their eyes got bigger), and that they all could have gotten in trouble for taking him out of the state (a little white lie), etc." (quote Shari)

Its very rarely a good idea to lie to your kids.. Why do parents lie to their kids and then get confused when the kid turns around and lies to them?? There is no such thing as a little while lie.. a lie is a lie and its not right... No, I dont have kids, but i know well enough that kids learn from their parents, so the parents have to be really careful what they say and do around their kids.. even 18 year olds and older still can and will learn from what their parents do...

ummm....ok.......

I dont think that lying the way that keith did was wrong. Why shouldnt he strike fear into those kids especially after all of the hell they put their parents through!

oh, edited to say....thank god hes back Sheri! try to relax as much as you can!

Its not okay to lie.. how can it be ok? By lying to your kids you teach them its ok to lie.. no wonder he wasn't honest in the first place if his parents aren't honest with him!

[mercuryroad 0]

By lying to your kids you teach them its ok to lie..

*Cough* Santa

[Girona40 0]

"Keith said that Daryl was under the watch of Homeland Security until his paperwork went through (their eyes got bigger), and that they all could have gotten in trouble for taking him out of the state (a little white lie), etc." (quote Shari)

Its very rarely a good idea to lie to your kids.. Why do parents lie to their kids and then get confused when the kid turns around and lies to them?? There is no such thing as a little while lie.. a lie is a lie and its not right... No, I dont have kids, but i know well enough that kids learn from their parents, so the parents have to be really careful what they say and do around their kids.. even 18 year olds and older still can and will learn from what their parents do...

ummm....ok.......

I dont think that lying the way that keith did was wrong. Why shouldnt he strike fear into those kids especially after all of the hell they put their parents through!

oh, edited to say....thank god hes back Sheri! try to relax as much as you can!

Its not okay to lie.. how can it be ok? By lying to your kids you teach them its ok to lie.. no wonder he wasn't honest in the first place if his parents aren't honest with him!

Oh pleeeeeeeze!

Shari, I think your husband did the right thing!