I don't how you guys do it

[kennym 275]

None of us know you and your Fiancee's history and relationship, and as far as getting to really know each other, those that have said the Fiancee Visa is not a "getting to know each other" Visa although true, isnt reality.. Every relationship even traditional relationships develope well into the marriage.. But planning to marry a spouse you met through internet or on a vacation, or whatever means aside from the norm means your "getting to know each other time" is limited..

So although VJ'rs are quick to point out the errors of your reasoning, most of us really do understand what is "really" involved in the developement of relationships with partners from outside the USA.. So although helpful to mention the point of the visa, not really the point of the thread...

That aside. this process is dificult.. Due to all the challenges, Few would consider a relationship with someone in a diferent city, much fewer, would consider a relationhip with someone from a diferent side of the planet. Then even fewer would endure the hardship of seperation, and yet even less with the challenges of the immigration process and dont let me start about the challenges of enduring the cultural adjustment and then attempting to endure the financial recovery and the depression from the beneficiary missing her family and all thier friends, and activities they took for granted. It's a whole lot of stuff that most rationalle people would say, "thats insane, no way!!!"

I will say all that to simply point out, all these things seem overwhelming to the point where few would ever consider this hadn't they simply fell in-love with somebody accidently or intentionally that required them to go through all those things above.. Very Very few have the courage, the love and the patience to endure those things.. and it makes better people out of those that succeed in spite of all those challenges..

But all that said.. when one of the partners makes unreasonalbe demands and has unreasonable expectiations, that to me seems like the part that makes me want to simply wants to run! and say no way... not happening..

Make sure your fiancee understands what your capabilities are.. I will say this; again I don't know anything about you or her; but many starting a realtionship with someone, intentionally try to deceive someone beleiving that it is the best way to win someone over.. But even if you haven't, if shee has any inaccurate ideas about you, it will cause trouble for both of you very very soon.. you will live with this person for the rest of your life. make sure your honest with her about your situation and your abilities and dont give her reason to beleive these unreasonable expectations are possible now, or ever..

All the hopes and dreams you have, may be quickly squashed when she gets here and realizes how things really are.. it's important to set the level of expectation now..

Just my thought..

Edited August 22, 2012 by kennym

[kennym 275]

My wife and I, did a civil wedding, we plan on doing a real wedding with the "works" once we recover from all the financial things.. we also plan to do something for her family..

But my wife and her family and my family understand the work we went through to get to this point...

And your fiancee and her family should and if they dont, I must say, it is solely your responsibility ot make sure they understand...

[Lilyena 10]

Like everyone else I would advise to do a simple ceremony in the US and plan the big wedding later in Russia. I don't think you should pay for her family members to come.

We had a very nice wedding, that we planned well before having the K1 (why would we be denied anyways?) with just his family and close friends, and my parents and brother. It was my dream wedding, even though I was very sad because many people I cared about were not there. But who cares? I got married to the love of my life, and it was OUR day. I am thankful we had that chance.

Next summer, we will have the big wedding in France, with a renewal of vows/blessing with my family and friends, and some of his family/friends who can fly over. I dont regret anything, it will be so easier to organize it without the hassle of immigration/moving out.

I also believe the K1 is not a getting to know each other visa..no judgment here, just my opinion. If you start that lenghty and pricy process without beeing sure, then don't do it.

I think you should talk to your fiancé about her expectations..and maybe you guys should take a vacation together for at least two weeks to get to know each other more. I know its $$$ and not everyone can do it, but when it comes to spend your whole life together? Maybe you should think twice.

Good luck to you, and let us know!

[Moomin 292]

At least use a different wording than fat chance. Your fiancee won't have any family, relatives or friends around. I think to some, that might be half the reason for celebrating a wedding - to share the happiness with close friends and family. Look into the alternatives - either streaming video online, or on your anniversary, go to her country and have yet another ceremony for her side of the family.

I didn't exactly plan on inviting my friends or family because to mee, it's more or less an insult to invite them to something they can't attend with that short notice.

However, the K1 IS flexible. After the visa is issued, the foreign fiance(e) has up to 6 months to enter the US, and after that, up to 3 months to get married. I wouldn't postpone it that much and be in the last minute however a good 7 months isn't impossible to find from your time budget. If the foreign relatives and family can't afford it anyways, go with just visiting them and celebrating yet again later down the road if it's important to your fiancee and her family.