Abusive relationship

[Chicagoguy 2 27]

I am of small help here but maybe some others could tell him names of Social Service agencies. Names and 800 numbers.

[SHAZBOT&NUNO 4]

Hello I am new to this site. A friend recommend to me. Here's my story.

I arrived in the US a couple of months ago on a K-1 visa. My intensions were to marry my wife and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately this is not the case. My wife is abusive and has many tantrums that I was unaware of. She was normal when she came to visit me. She is very jealous and has low self esteem and does not want me to be without her. While she is working I have to wait for hours at a restaurant accross the street until she is off work.

Our living conditions have changed since I arrived. We were living with family until her niece began to show me too much attention. My wife makes $6 an hour. Now we currently live in a roach motel where I am held hostage. I cannot leave the room without her. We often run out of food. We go to bed hungry. My wife cannot support me. She can barely afford to get a way to work. I realize she was able to afford the K-1 paperwork by living with her family. Life has seriously changed for me.

My wife does not have money to adjust my status. She also does not have a cosponsor. I do not know what will happen to me. Will I get deported? I am unhappy because of the abuse and tantrums. I want out. I want to leave. I will live on the street. I would like to adjust my status and find a real job. I met some friends here from my country who are willing to assist me. Will I be able to leave my abuser and adjust my status? Please help!

I think the best thing you can do is try to work and save for a flight home. That's what I would do.

[Mark + Melissa 49]

Yes - you have to be married to your wife, and proving a relationship. Doesn't sound like you have what you need to prove it. If you do not have the money to file for AOS, you will have problems as your status will expire. If you do not stay with her you cannot adjust status no matter who pays for it, and you will then be here illegally. If you are as miserable as you sound, your best bet is to request assistance returning to home country, and working out the divorce

Rephrasing that a bit for clarification: Yes - you have to be married to your wife, and proving a relationship for AOS. Doesn't sound like you have what you need to prove a relationship, and if you don't prove relationship, you cannot stay. If you do not have the money to file for AOS, you will have problems as your status will expire, and you will then be illegal. If you do not stay with her, you cannot adjust status no matter who pays for it, and again, you will be here illegally.

As to your other points:

1) You are not in prison - walk out the door to a shelter, embassy, police office, social agency, fire station, grocery store, gas station.. anywhere.. and ask for assistance

2) Discrimination does happen - but I strongly doubt that everyone you meet is discriminating against you as people in the south are generally very friendly - haven't you heard of southern hospitality?

You need to think about what you're going to do next. If I were a case officer, based upon what you've revealed here, I would assume you thought you had an easy in to the states with this woman as easy prey, now you are not pleased with her lack of funds, which would lead me to think visa fraud. Add to the pot that you have 'friends' willing to do a VaWA and help you get adjusted, and you just want to stay . Sounds very much like you've been getting coached, but its not working quite as you wanted. If this is NOT the case, then you need to man up, and deal with the situation. Either work it out with her, or return, but quit stating you are in prison. <br class="Apple-interchange-newline">

[Dana and Divine 61]

My friends some Liberian and some American are willing to help me financially. My paperwork is ready I just need help as far a money and a sponsor. But do I need to be with my wife to adjust?

Sounds like to me you already had all this in motion and had no intention of staying with your wife when you arrived. Now you are saying...your "Liberian friends and some American are willing to help you financially", then why do you keep saying "I just need help as far a money"? Do you have friends or don't you have friends who are willing to help you financially?

..."and a sponsor". You HAD a sponsor, she is called YOUR WIFE.

It seems to me there were probably somethings (brought on by you) with the neice...and you two probably got kicked out of the folks house. Who did you wife chose?...Sounds like you, since she is working herself to the bone for 6 bucks an hour. For that little, I'm amazed she found anywhere for you two to stay.

I'm sorry, but your story keeps changing. I'm usually a very positive person who sees the bright side of every situation, but I've also been an abused woman...and you sir, are not an abused man. If you were truly being abused, you would have already walked away and one of your "friends" would have made sure you made it to a place to show your proof of abuse.

The answer to your question...do you need your wife? YES, for every step of the process.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

I am of small help here but maybe some others could tell him names of Social Service agencies. Names and 800 numbers.

Since the OP has not name the state or county that he is living in, it is hard to give name and numbers to social service agencies. They are either state funded or private funded.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

it all sounds respectable and thoughtful; but it also sounds members don't believe in VAWA possibility for someone on K-1(?)

Granted, the qualifying abuse hasn't occurred yet - but what if it does?

Edited August 22, 2012 by SingleDad2usc

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

You deal with the what when it happens, not to create an environment to make it happen. Marriage has it's ups and downs, they seem to be at a down time.

A sucess marriage requires alot of hard work, you seems to have missed that part.

Edited August 22, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Dana and Divine 61]

I have met these new friends since I arrived in America. My wife is not happy that I have friends. She says she will kill herself.

How do you have or find friends if you cannot leave the hotel room all day while you are being held hostage and being followed to the bathroom?

Thank you my friend. I would like to experience America.

I have met these new friends since I arrived in America. My wife is not happy that I have friends. She says she will kill herself.

How do you have or find friends if you cannot leave the hotel room all day while you are being held hostage and being followed to the bathroom?

[Lalo & Susana 50]

Apparently you do not understand. No woman or man should beat someone because they do not obey their rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually I do understand since I myself was beaten by an ex. But it only happened once bc I called the cops and ended the relationship that is what you do when someone beats you. So don't go around telling ppl they do not understand when you do not know their story. You claim she beats you then call the cops easy as that. If anyone lays their hands on you you call the cops. And if its such a horrible situation then leave. And I did give you good advice the first time I around you just chose not to read my entire comment. First off your situation is fishy and if you are trying to adjust your status I am just pointing out that its fishy and USCIS agents will think the same thing. It will be that much harder for you to be approved. If you cannot deal with answers then don't post here.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

OP better understand: I meant what I said before

1. This is not a game. He can't waffle. He has to seek help and do everything to avoid incidents of DV.

2. If serious incident does occur, he has to be prepared to act with more determination than a woman would. This doesn't come naturally to a man

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thread is closed for review. Please do not start a new thread on this subject in the meantime.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

After review this topic is remaining closed and administrative action has been taken.