Abusive relationship

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Before your topic bit the dust... OP, your friends referred you to good site; they only didn't know that everyone's here mentality is that you cut into "their" status or pocket or something. Thus, you will only get VAWA advice from a pro-se immigration advocate you need to find.

It's only natural for a man not to be calling 911. I never have; of all the calls my wife made, the last one finally got her arrested - as I turned out to be bruised up, not her. She served 13-month term under Mental Health Court jurisdiction, and was also guilty of physically abusing two little children, who got removed into foster care for over a year - but even all that was not enough to convince members here I had VAWA. In your case, you have to first convince an Immigration Officer that your Union was genuine. You have to do a lot of work with Immigration specialists.

And as far as what happens at that motel of yours: a lot of one-party blood will have to spill. Be ready to take pictures and press charges. VAWA is much too messy for a man, stay sane

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Before your topic bit the dust... OP, your friends referred you to good site; they only didn't know that everyone's here mentality is that you cut into "their" status or pocket or something. Thus, you will only get VAWA advice from a pro-se immigration advocate you need to find.

It's only natural for a man not to be calling 911. I never have; of all the calls my wife made, the last one finally got her arrested - as I turned out to be bruised up, not her. She served 13-month term under Mental Health Court jurisdiction, and was also guilty of physically abusing two little children, who got removed into foster care for over a year - but even all that was not enough to convince members here I had VAWA. In your case, you have to first convince an Immigration Officer that your Union was genuine. You have to do a lot of work with Immigration specialists.

And as far as what happens at that motel of yours: a lot of one-party blood will have to spill. Be ready to take pictures and press charges. VAWA is much too messy for a man, stay sane

I think you are misrepresented here, for what purpose I don't know.

Not to sidetrack OPs thread but your case is vastly diffrent from his. You were trying to VAWA yeasrs after your separation and hoping that VAWA can be retroactively applied from when it occured to suspecting that your Ex has CItizenship now.

I do agree that we as Men have to play by different standards when it comes to the family system.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

OP has fantastic luck of learning about VAWA just 3 months in. It took me 9 years to even hear that VAWA applied to men

[lynndy38 64]

I thought the petitioner had to prove they could support the NUSC?

And also what is so bad about going home? As much as I love the US I would go straight home should anything ever happen to my realationship......this is why we go through the tiresome visa process to prove we want to be with the USC and not just to gain entry to the US......the US was surely not your goal......your wife was? Im sorry if it hasn't worked out but surely you had a life/family/friends back home that you want to return to?

[SingleDad2usc 71]

It's true that he'd put little roots here. Still, OP is not seeking advice on going home; is this really what this website is about?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I thought the petitioner had to prove they could support the NUSC?

And also what is so bad about going home? As much as I love the US I would go straight home should anything ever happen to my realationship......this is why we go through the tiresome visa process to prove we want to be with the USC and not just to gain entry to the US......the US was surely not your goal......your wife was? Im sorry if it hasn't worked out but surely you had a life/family/friends back home that you want to return to?

OP is not from England.

If you're from Liberia I am certain your views about running back home will be different.

He'll be going back ashamed and looked at as a failure.

[Lalo & Susana 50]

For once, I agree with you. This sounds like another.... you know.

If the OP is suffering poverty AND abuse, why not go home?

I agree with both of you. Granted he might not be excited about running back to Liberia but he hasn't even considered going back as an option all he cares about is staying here. He doesn't even want to try and work things out with his wife. If you are in a relationship with someone and they obviously need mental help (since that is basically what the OP is implying) you would try and get them help if you love them. And there is no way you don't have a co-sponsor if she makes $6 an hour. I make almost triple what she does and am getting a co-sponsor bc even though I am over its too close for comfort. So there is obviously a co-sponsor the catch is he is trying to leave his wife and get an adjustment of status that is why the co-sponsor isn't giving money. It just all sounds a little fishy.

If I am wrong and you actually came here bc you loved your wife and not bc u wanted to live in the USA. Then you need to talk to her and tell her if she lays a hand on u one more time your calling the cops end of story. And then do it is she calls them. At least that way you will have evidence for VAWA. Then tell her to get her co-sponsor to help with your adjustment of status so you can work legally and help pay the bills so you can move out of the motel.

[amberlynnloves 125]

I certainly feel for your situation. Its not an easy situation to be in. And who am I to judge your true intentions when coming to the US. But legally, your options are to stay, adjust status and live here. Or go home. You cannot legally stay in this country unless you stay married to the USC that petitioned your K1. Unfortunately, we don't make the rules here on VJ. We just relay the information.

As someone mentioned before, you can contact the embassy here in the US and ask for help from them. How in the world did she get your visa approved though making $6/hour? Did she have a different job before hand? A huge savings account? Because she would have had to fraud the system with no sponsor. So she either had lied on her tax returns, pay stubs..etc to even get you into the country. I'd bail out before she gets caught with that one to be honest.

But nevertheless, you'd have to return home. And I'm not sure what your home country is like. Never been there. But those are your options unfortunately.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

some good marital advice - but hard to execute. Every time my wife had me falsely arrested, cops who were taking me to precinct chuckled: "Get her into Mental Hygiene program, or suffer the consequences". Still, I never did.

One thing to consider - if OP is in big enough city - is domestic violence program that a precinct may have. Sign up!

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I know of a girl that arrived in the US on a k-1 visa, did NOT marry the petitioner, left the house after 2 weeks in US, and is now living a VERY nice life with a US goverment employee.

See: the petitioner was the David, and the fed is the Goliath!

[Sandra G. 5,054]

Reading your post I don't believe you have a Vawa case. Your wife is controlling,without money, maybe sometimes she is mean but it doesn't mean you are suffering extreme mental abuse. You must be subjected or exposed to mental abuse that may result in psychological trauma, and a psychologist should attest you are suffering anxiety and/or chronic depression or post-traumatic stress disorder.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

true enough. What if she gets charged with beating him up, and he'll have gory pictures - will he still need psychotherapy, or no case?

[Kathryn41 3,205]

A number of posts containing inappropriate and judgmental comments that are not based upon the evidence provided, along with several off topic comments, have been removed. If you cannot restrict your comments to the question asked by the OP and provide constructive information, then do not participate in this thread. Any further such comments will be removed and the poster(s) thread-banned from further participation.

Acceptable parts of some of the removed posts are returned to the thread below:

If the OP is suffering poverty AND abuse, why not go home?

Mr. The_King, you have made your mind already to leave your wife and no one is going to be able to make you love her or change your mind. . . . My thoughts to you: 1- Ask your friends to help with AOS fee. 2- When you get a work permit, get a job to help your wife. 3- Communication is the success to any relationship.

[Thomas&Cleofe 358]

The husband needs to eat, and the wife is required to care for his needs. If he is going to bed hungry then she is not supporting him in a satifactory fashion. She told the government that she would care for his needs as he is not able to financially support himself. The way it sounds to me is that the wife is not holding up her part of the bargain.

[Fight for Love 98]

i'm wondering which state make ONLY $6 minimum wage? hhhhmmm are you sure your not exaggerating your story? just saying