Abusive relationship

[The_King 1]

Hello I am new to this site. A friend recommend to me. Here's my story.

I arrived in the US a couple of months ago on a K-1 visa. My intensions were to marry my wife and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately this is not the case. My wife is abusive and has many tantrums that I was unaware of. She was normal when she came to visit me. She is very jealous and has low self esteem and does not want me to be without her. While she is working I have to wait for hours at a restaurant accross the street until she is off work.

Our living conditions have changed since I arrived. We were living with family until her niece began to show me too much attention. My wife makes $6 an hour. Now we currently live in a roach motel where I am held hostage. I cannot leave the room without her. We often run out of food. We go to bed hungry. My wife cannot support me. She can barely afford to get a way to work. I realize she was able to afford the K-1 paperwork by living with her family. Life has seriously changed for me.

My wife does not have money to adjust my status. She also does not have a cosponsor. I do not know what will happen to me. Will I get deported? I am unhappy because of the abuse and tantrums. I want out. I want to leave. I will live on the street. I would like to adjust my status and find a real job. I met some friends here from my country who are willing to assist me. Will I be able to leave my abuser and adjust my status? Please help!

[BethandBilly 86]

From my understanding of the K-1 visa you can only adjust with your original petitioner, ie your wife.

I'm very sorry for the situation you are in, it doesn't sound good at all. It does sound like there is some form of abuse going on, make sure you keep a note of it. There is a lady on this website that may be of help to you, her name is Sandranj, may be you could look her up and put your situation before her, she may be able to point you in the right direction.

Good Luck

[No-Where-Man 147]

I am sorry to hear what is going on with you.

As far as your status, you came here on a K1 visa. You are required to marry within 90 days of entering the US and then adjust your status (jointly with the person who petitioned your K1, marrying another wont work) which is not cheap as you are clearly aware

You have two options as far as I know:

1: Hold a conversation with her and tell her what you feel, if you guys worked it out, then you need to find a job, get a car and adjust your status by away or another.

If you could not work it out with your lady, there are no options here. You will need to go back to your country. Its not enough to marry, you have to adjust otherwise you will be illegal. Your friends wont help you getting legal status and trust me, it makes everything just harder.

The way I see it, you might wana consider going back.

Hello I am new to this site. A friend recommend to me. Here's my story.

I arrived in the US a couple of months ago on a K-1 visa. My intensions were to marry my wife and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately this is not the case. My wife is abusive and has many tantrums that I was unaware of. She was normal when she came to visit me. She is very jealous and has low self esteem and does not want me to be without her. While she is working I have to wait for hours at a restaurant accross the street until she is off work.

Our living conditions have changed since I arrived. We were living with family until her niece began to show me too much attention. My wife makes $6 an hour. Now we currently live in a roach motel where I am held hostage. I cannot leave the room without her. We often run out of food. We go to bed hungry. My wife cannot support me. She can barely afford to get a way to work. I realize she was able to afford the K-1 paperwork by living with her family. Life has seriously changed for me.

My wife does not have money to adjust my status. She also does not have a cosponsor. I do not know what will happen to me. Will I get deported? I am unhappy because of the abuse and tantrums. I want out. I want to leave. I will live on the street. I would like to adjust my status and find a real job. I met some friends here from my country who are willing to assist me. Will I be able to leave my abuser and adjust my status? Please help!

Edited August 21, 2012 by no_where_man

[X Factor 1,112]

Wow that is tough. Have you considered going back to your home country? If you stay and don't intend to marry her, you will be here illegally.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Hello I am new to this site. A friend recommend to me. Here's my story.

I arrived in the US a couple of months ago on a K-1 visa. My intensions were to marry my wife and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately this is not the case. My wife is abusive and has many tantrums that I was unaware of. She was normal when she came to visit me. She is very jealous and has low self esteem and does not want me to be without her. While she is working I have to wait for hours at a restaurant accross the street until she is off work.

Our living conditions have changed since I arrived. We were living with family until her niece began to show me too much attention. My wife makes $6 an hour. Now we currently live in a roach motel where I am held hostage. I cannot leave the room without her. We often run out of food. We go to bed hungry. My wife cannot support me. She can barely afford to get a way to work. I realize she was able to afford the K-1 paperwork by living with her family. Life has seriously changed for me.

My wife does not have money to adjust my status. She also does not have a cosponsor. I do not know what will happen to me. Will I get deported? I am unhappy because of the abuse and tantrums. I want out. I want to leave. I will live on the street. I would like to adjust my status and find a real job. I met some friends here from my country who are willing to assist me. Will I be able to leave my abuser and adjust my status? Please help!

Another failure of the K1 process. USCIS really needs to give an automatic class of visa to beneficiarys so that they have an opportunity to come and visit the US before approving these petitions.

Of course your Wife (you did get married?) was a different person and in vacation mode when she came to visit. The daily struggles of day to day lif ein the USA, even for the middel class, is a far cry from when they are on vacation.

Anyways, what is done is done, I don't think you qualify for VAWA since there was no abuse but it can be molded into an abuse case my morally flexible folks. Your best bet is to suck it up Man and git her done. Work with your Wife, go to counselling, be her partner, let her see that once you adjust and can work then you can contributwe and you can move out of roach motels.

If that's impossible then no other choice but to go back home and reset.

Good luck my Brother.

[The_King 1]

Wow that is tough. Have you considered going back to your home country? If you stay and don't intend to marry her, you will be here illegally.

Hello we got married some months ago. So now I need to file aos but we do not have the money. We barely have money for food. She cannot even afford to send me back home. I am sad.

[him4life 13]

its either you marry her or go back home, what about your friends could they help u with the cost of the paperwork? and finding a co sponsor? you could promise to pay back once you get a job

[Shiobhan 235]

U should travel bac to your country B4 the0 days is up, (low self esteem)theres 2 sides to every story & the 3rd, because U

have met friends from your country no tellng whats going thru her mind, if U do things the right way then U may

obtain a visitor visa in the future and not feel obligated, also @ $6.00 per hr even living with her family is

below the poverty line, motels R at times seedy, drugs& prostitution etc staying there can cause U to be rounded

up in a sting.......hopefully U were not flirting wth the neice causing this jealousy....... good luck

[The_King 1]

its either you marry her or go back home, what about your friends could they help u with the cost of the paperwork? and finding a co sponsor? you could promise to pay back once you get a job

My friends some Liberian and some American are willing to help me financially. My paperwork is ready I just need help as far a money and a sponsor. But do I need to be with my wife to adjust?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Yes you can get deported. I suggest you go to your countries embassy and ask for assistance returning home. You could also try speaking to a catholic charity about somewhere else to live while you're waiting for that. Or you could contact ICE or local police, let them know you're here out of status and your situation so they will deport you if you can't afford it. Definitely not the best option to get deported, but it is AN option.

There is VAWA but I sincerely doubt you would get it as I assume (though you didn't say, so shame on me) that if you have so little there's probably no co-mingling of things, and no proof of a bonafide relationship... but by all means discuss your options with the catholic charities.

I would make my main goal to return to my home country. Contact family and friends to ask for help getting back. Ask those "friends from your home country" to help you return to your home country.

My friends some Liberian and some American are willing to help me financially. My paperwork is ready I just need help as far a money and a sponsor. But do I need to be with my wife to adjust?

Yes. She needs to be your primary sponsor. I suggest they help you financially by buying you a ticket back to your country.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[Ihavequestions 419]

Hello I am new to this site. A friend recommend to me. Here's my story.

I arrived in the US a couple of months ago on a K-1 visa. My intensions were to marry my wife and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately this is not the case. My wife is abusive and has many tantrums that I was unaware of. She was normal when she came to visit me. She is very jealous and has low self esteem and does not want me to be without her. While she is working I have to wait for hours at a restaurant accross the street until she is off work.

Our living conditions have changed since I arrived. We were living with family until her niece began to show me too much attention. My wife makes $6 an hour. Now we currently live in a roach motel where I am held hostage. I cannot leave the room without her. We often run out of food. We go to bed hungry. My wife cannot support me. She can barely afford to get a way to work. I realize she was able to afford the K-1 paperwork by living with her family. Life has seriously changed for me.

My wife does not have money to adjust my status. She also does not have a cosponsor. I do not know what will happen to me. Will I get deported? I am unhappy because of the abuse and tantrums. I want out. I want to leave. I will live on the street. I would like to adjust my status and find a real job. I met some friends here from my country who are willing to assist me. Will I be able to leave my abuser and adjust my status? Please help!

You're not experiencing abuse, you're experiencing poverty.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

What did you'll talk about durning the 10 long months of waiting for a visa approval? Please try to understand, bailing out now is only a case of returning back to your native country.

[The_King 1]

What did you'll talk about durning the 10 long months of waiting for a visa approval? Please try to understand, bailing out now is only a case of returning back to your native country.

We talked about how much we loved each other and looked forward to finally being together. But she has low self esteem. Other woman may look at me and she gets a attitude with me and says I am going to leave her for another woman. I am not interested in other woman but she is so insecure. She is more than 10 years older than me. She blocks the door of the motel so that I cannot leave. She hits me. I never hit her back. She has a lot of issues that I didn't know of until I got here.

Yes you can get deported. I suggest you go to your countries embassy and ask for assistance returning home. You could also try speaking to a catholic charity about somewhere else to live while you're waiting for that. Or you could contact ICE or local police, let them know you're here out of status and your situation so they will deport you if you can't afford it. Definitely not the best option to get deported, but it is AN option.

There is VAWA but I sincerely doubt you would get it as I assume (though you didn't say, so shame on me) that if you have so little there's probably no co-mingling of things, and no proof of a bonafide relationship... but by all means discuss your options with the catholic charities.

I would make my main goal to return to my home country. Contact family and friends to ask for help getting back. Ask those "friends from your home country" to help you return to your home country.

Yes. She needs to be your primary sponsor. I suggest they help you financially by buying you a ticket back to your country.

I do not want to live with her anymore. I am affraid to call the police. So I sit there and let her hit me. I do not want to return to my home country.

[aaron2020 11,651]

You have essentially three choices;

1. Do nothing which means living in the US illegally.

2. Call the police to report the abuse an file on your own to adjust based on the VAWA.

3. Return home.

There are no other options.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Mr. Liberia

Being that only one side of the story is being told, and there seems to be missing pieces, all I can offer is this if you want to bail then leave. Remember you will never know when you might need the aid again, so bail and leave on a good foot.

You fiqure out the rest of your future on your own and don't leave scars in doing it.

Good luck.