Will Republican platform "human life amendment" require a brand new government bureacracy to count the unborn?

[^_^ 5,021]

Republican official platform, via CNN. It seems they've learned nothing.

"Faithful to the 'self-evident' truths enshrined in the Declaration of Independence, we assert the sanctity of human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental individual right to life which cannot be infringed. We support a human life amendment to the Constitution and endorse legislation to make clear that the Fourteenth Amendment's protections apply to unborn children."

So by the 14th Amendment, each unborn fetus is now a person. OK. The 14th Amendment also requires that the federal government have an accurate count of all people and to apportion Representatives based on those counts. I wonder how they plan to count the unborn. The 14th Amendment would pretty much require an accurate count. They'd have to hire more Census workers. Maybe force ultrasounds on every woman of childbearing age to detect the existence of an unborn human being?

Edited August 21, 2012 by Habitual Offender

[JohnR! 5,495]

That would also make the death penalty illegal.

Don't you just love the party of bigger government????

[^_^ 5,021]

That would also make the death penalty illegal.

Don't you just love the party of bigger government????

I wonder if the technology exists to blanket entire communities with perpetual ultrasound so the moment the sacred act of fertilization occurs, government bureaucrats can be informed about it.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I wonder if the technology exists to blanket entire communities with perpetual ultrasound so the moment the sacred act of fertilization occurs, government bureaucrats can be informed about it.

We will have to deploy an entire new constellation of satellites just to keep track of all sexual activity in the country...

[^_^ 5,021]

We will have to deploy an entire new constellation of satellites just to keep track of all sexual activity in the country...

Not all. ####### and oral does not need to be tracked since there is no path for the sperm to meet the egg via either the oral or ####### cavities. We will, of course, need satellites that can monitor and differentiate between the various forms of sexual contact.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Habitual Offender

[rocks 494]

What is going to happen to the people who have miscarriages and don't know it? The ones that happen early on before they know they're pregnant. Are we going to have to build more jails?

[JohnR! 5,495]

What is going to happen to the people who have miscarriages and don't know it? The ones that happen early on before they know they're pregnant. Are we going to have to build more jails?

That is considered involuntary manslaughter, unless you're religious in which case it should be considered an abortion performed by god.

[^_^ 5,021]

What is going to happen to the people who have miscarriages and don't know it? The ones that happen early on before they know they're pregnant. Are we going to have to build more jails?

Honestly, if a woman has a miscarriage and doesn't know it I don't think she deserves jail. Maybe community service?

[rocks 494]

Honestly, if a woman has a miscarriage and doesn't know it I don't think she deserves jail. Maybe community service?

Oh OK. At least we can have some cleaner highways. I'm all for it.

[^_^ 5,021]

Oh OK. At least we can have some cleaner highways. I'm all for it.

There has to be a better way to count the unborn. Any ideas?

[rocks 494]

There has to be a better way to count the unborn. Any ideas?

It's impossible. Reminds me of when they tried to ban abortion in Louisiana, they didn't enforce it because it was too expensive. Great way to waste money on nothing. Meanwhile children (real ones) are going hungry and having their teachers cut...

[^_^ 5,021]

It's impossible.

Only losers talk like that. Winners find a way.

[mawilson 2,133]

There has to be a better way to count the unborn. Any ideas?

A government-issued sperm detector in every #######?

[rocks 494]

Only losers talk like that. Winners find a way.

Hmm.. Well maybe a good start would be to install CCTV in every house and car? That way they can monitor most of your movements?

[^_^ 5,021]

A government-issued sperm detector in every #######?

That doesn't detect fertilization. Life begins at fertilization, not before.