Help/ advice, got married with out telling them! Indian married to american

[2007lovestory 0]

Hello VJ members!

Any advice from people who have been through same will be greatly appreciated.

Here is our story, We have been dating since 2007 met in india while he was interning at a NGO, then moved to europe for our masters and were living together until 2011. However later he moved to USA and got a very good job and I wanted to be with him. We did try all visa route h1b,tourist and student( I am already paying a loan for my masters couldn't afford another loan ) nothing worked.So the final option was K1, we hired a lawyer and all went super smooth, we are together in USA now and both good jobs recently bought a house. I have no complaints from life.

Here is the tricky part, I am from india and my parents will not easily approve of this relationship ( I am a gujarati, very reserve community) and we got married without telling my parents. How do I break this to my parents. my plan is never to tell them I got married as they will be heartbroken. Eventually once they agree, we want to get married in a big indian wedding and a western wedding. will the US consulate let my parents know that I am already married if they come here to see me on tourist visa? I am sure if they met him and see his lifestyle here in USA and spend some good time with him things might work out.

we both are educated,never married, only 2 yrs older then me, he speaks Hindi( broken)and more then me he is religious,I mean going to durga temple and fasting on wednesday for Ganeshji. And he loves India so much (L)

Please help me I don't want to lose my parents. I am trying to get my parents here to visit me but don't want them to know at the interview in India that I am married already. Please help me. :help: :help:

Edited August 17, 2012 by 2007lovestory

[2007lovestory 0]

I mean we got married without telling my parents in India.

[X Factor 1,112]

Are you under age or are you older than 21?

[2007lovestory 0]

Are you under age or are you older than 21?

Hey Kennard!

I am 26 and he is 28.

Thanks

[TimeTravel 78]

If your parent would need to apply for B1/B2 visa to visit USA, then they would have to know for sure about your marriage. Because at the time of interview, they would be questioned who live there, whether their daughter is married, etc etc. Any lie can be trouble for anyone.

It is just unfortunate that Indian family care more about arrange marriage.

[MrsNotBonJovi 18]

Hello VJ members!

Any advice from people who have been through same will be greatly appreciated.

Here is our story, We have been dating since 2007 met in india while he was interning at a NGO, then moved to europe for our masters and were living together until 2011. However later he moved to USA and got a very good job and I wanted to be with him. We did try all visa route h1b,tourist and student( I am already paying a loan for my masters couldn't afford another loan ) nothing worked.So the final option was K1, we hired a lawyer and all went super smooth, we are together in USA now and both good jobs recently bought a house. I have no complaints from life.

Here is the tricky part, I am from india and my parents will not easily approve of this relationship ( I am a gujarati, very reserve community) and we got married without telling my parents. How do I break this to my parents. my plan is never to tell them I got married as they will be heartbroken. Eventually once they agree, we want to get married in a big indian wedding and a western wedding. will the US consulate let my parents know that I am already married if they come here to see me on tourist visa? I am sure if they met him and see his lifestyle here in USA and spend some good time with him things might work out.

we both are educated,never married, only 2 yrs older then me, he speaks Hindi( broken)and more then me he is religious,I mean going to durga temple and fasting on wednesday for Ganeshji. And he loves India so much (L)

Please help me I don't want to lose my parents. I am trying to get my parents here to visit me but don't want them to know at the interview in India that I am married already. Please help me. :help: :help:

I do not think the US consulate will tell them anything about your marriage during their visa interviews. Your parents will have to qualify for their visa on their own merits and may be asked if they have anybody living in the US, for which they will have tell about you. But I seriously doubt that your marital status will come up during the interview ( I could be wrong about this, though. Please wait till you get more responses on this one). To get their tourist visas, all your parents will have to demonstrate that they have inalienable, binding ties to India and that they fully intend to return after visiting you.

I get that part about how your parents may not be too happy about your partner. All the best with trying to get them on your side!

Edited August 18, 2012 by MrsNotBonJovi

[jilliannep 13]

Out of curioriosity, when you went for the interview, what did you say to the officer regarding your parents? Or did they not even ask?

[2007lovestory 0]

If your parent would need to apply for B1/B2 visa to visit USA, then they would have to know for sure about your marriage. Because at the time of interview, they would be questioned who live there, whether their daughter is married, etc etc. Any lie can be trouble for anyone.

It is just unfortunate that Indian family care more about arrange marriage.

hi iwaiting!

I was worried about this now i need to break this to them asap I guess. I wish some one who has been through similar experience might have been able to help. My parents are not big into arrange marriage however they will never allow me to marry a white guy.Thanks you so much

[2007lovestory 0]

Out of curioriosity, when you went for the interview, what did you say to the officer regarding your parents? Or did they not even ask?

Hey Jilliannep!

My interview was in pairs France and I was asked only 1 question.I had a good job in pairs and he had a good one in NYC so there were no questions.

Thanks

Out of curioriosity, when you went for the interview, what did you say to the officer regarding your parents? Or did they not even ask?

Hey Jilliannep!

My interview was in pairs France and I was asked only 1 question.I had a good job in pairs and he had a good one in NYC so there were no questions.

Thanks

[chrissbe17 3]

As a woman of east indian descent married to a white American man i can tell you i had tbe same fears about presenting my relationship to my parents. Yes it was hard for them to accept at first but after meeting him several times and seeing how happy he makes me they love him! You have complicated things by not telling them about your marriage and in that case i think the issue you have is broken trust not cultural or family issues.

[2007lovestory 0]

As a woman of east indian descent married to a white American man i can tell you i had tbe same fears about presenting my relationship to my parents. Yes it was hard for them to accept at first but after meeting him several times and seeing how happy he makes me they love him! You have complicated things by not telling them about your marriage and in that case i think the issue you have is broken trust not cultural or family issues.

hey 'chrissbe17'!

Thanks for your reply! I know what I have done and I feel so guilty, we are a very close family My mother, sister and brother know about us since we have been dating and they also know I live with him. They don't approve due to society bullshit but my father is the tough one to crack.I know I have done something which my parents might not forgive me for however I have a hope that once my father mets him and get to know him eventually they will come around. No one knows we are married except my hubby's father.

[Pitaya 2,577]

Welcome to the forum.

I can empathize with your issue.

It is difficult for other forum members to determine where you are in the immigration process, additionally it helps everyone that uses this site.

Is this discussion related to this Adjustment of Status (AOS) from Family Based Visas Forum, or might it better to be discussed at the India Regional Forum., for more focused responses?

Good luck on your visa journey.

[2007lovestory 0]

Welcome to the forum.

I can empathize with your issue.

It is difficult for other forum members to determine where you are in the immigration process, additionally it helps everyone that uses this site.

Is this discussion related to this Adjustment of Status (AOS) from Family Based Visas Forum, or might it better to be discussed at the India Regional Forum., for more focused responses?

Good luck on your visa journey.

Thanks A&B!

Our visa was Taken care by our lawyers and I need to get dates from them,to update my timeline things went very quick and smooth for us so we never worried about any papers or approval( thanks you god)!I will update the timeline asap.

I think it might be better to transfer the question in to regional forum. Sorry I didn't do that before getting to understand the site better now. I appreciate your help.

Px

[TimeTravel 78]

They don't approve due to society bullshit but my father is the tough one to crack.I know I have done something which my parents might not forgive me for however I have a hope that once my father mets him and get to know him eventually they will come around. No one knows we are married except my hubby's father.

Indian Society sucks! These so-called society people just like to watch and making fun of someone! I am very much tired with Indian Society system! I wish, someday this Indian BS society system gets some improvement.

[Que Saudade 284]

I had an American friend who married an Indian woman. They had been dating for years. She agonized over the part where they were discussing marriage and the family issue. So, I know how real those emotions are as I watched her agonize over this.

Finally, she just went to her family, with her grandfather being the patriarch, and asked for his blessings. It took awhile, but he finally gave his blessings under the conditions that they also perform a traditional ceremony. (which lasted forever I might add.. but it was fun)

In the end, honesty prevailed even though there were some hurt feelings in the process. That was 4 years ago and now the family visits once a year and all appears to be fine.

Good luck with your dilemma.