what to do about wife who abandons

[russ 1]

Have a question if anyone knows. I read a little bit about a waiver ... "Good Faith Marriage Waiver.", basically if she says she entered our marriage under good faith, but it disolved, does she qualify to pursue a greencard if a waiver is awarded to her?

So basically is she entitled to say ... "when I got married I meant it to last forever. But we're divorced now, things just didn't work out. Please give me a waiver that allows me to get my greencard."?

What do you care what happens with USCIS? The immigration stuff is based on allowing your wife to be with you. If she leaves, it really isn't your problem.

Doesn't even matter if the AOS hasn't happened yet. For a K-1, it is not possible to file/interview an AOS without being married to the petitioner. Marrying someone else won't work either. VAWA is the only form of relief to seek, so be careful. The abuse needs to be documented somehow (police reports, DVIs, etc). Not filing for an AOS/ I130 etc *can* be viewed as abuse, if the reason for failing to do it was to control one's spouse. (In your circumstances, that clearly is not the case).

I would file for a divorce immediately. If you don't know where she is, you won't be able to serve papers to her. This can take a while - there will probably need to be notices in the paper and such. I would do it soon, see a lawyer. A divorce can be stopped or put on hold up until the last minute (2 hours in my case).

[KevinH 0]

What do you care what happens with USCIS? The immigration stuff is based on allowing your wife to be with you. If she leaves, it really isn't your problem.

Doesn't even matter if the AOS hasn't happened yet. For a K-1, it is not possible to file/interview an AOS without being married to the petitioner. Marrying someone else won't work either. VAWA is the only form of relief to seek, so be careful. The abuse needs to be documented somehow (police reports, DVIs, etc). Not filing for an AOS/ I130 etc *can* be viewed as abuse, if the reason for failing to do it was to control one's spouse. (In your circumstances, that clearly is not the case).

I would file for a divorce immediately. If you don't know where she is, you won't be able to serve papers to her. This can take a while - there will probably need to be notices in the paper and such. I would do it soon, see a lawyer. A divorce can be stopped or put on hold up until the last minute (2 hours in my case).

Well my thought was that ... yeah she has a file with the USCIS and she's messing up up her record, but I have a file too. And if I ever apply for another K1 visa for any lady in the future, it would somehow mess me up if I didn't notify them of what was going on in this situation. I don't know, I thought that the government ... after 9/11, would be like hugely interested on what was going on with immigrants, and if they don't know where one is at any time that creates a crisis that they are going to pursue and I'd be an accomplice if I didn't go out of my way to let them know what was going on. If that's not the case then great, you're right it isn't my problem.

Unfortunately, I just moved to Michigan about 4 months ago and Michigan has a 6 month residency requirement before a divorce can be filed, so I'm stuck until about December for being able to file.

[KevinH 0]

I'm considering sending a letter to the USCIS really soon now. Basically saying that I have been abandoned and will not be pursuing an adjustment of status because of pending divorce.

My question is, thats final right? It sounds rather final anyways. If she should in the future decide to come back after I've sent a letter to the USCIS that she has abandoned me and we're getting divorced, if we decide to reconcile is it going to be nearly impossible to do that with the USCIS being notified of the divorce/abandonment in the letter?

[russ 1]

My question is, thats final right? It sounds rather final anyways. If she should in the future decide to come back after I've sent a letter to the USCIS that she has abandoned me and we're getting divorced, if we decide to reconcile is it going to be nearly impossible to do that with the USCIS being notified of the divorce/abandonment in the letter?

If this happened already, there is no future. Don't worry about that.

You don't really need to do anything. Since there is no AOS, don't worry. Just get your divorce when you can. Since there is nothing pending with USCIS, you have no obligation whatsoever - as far as I know (I'm not a lawyer.)

If something changes in the future, file the AOS then. There is no time limit on that, and it would be better in that case if that is the first they here from you.

She should file an AR-11 within 10 days of leaving, but it hardly matters (she is out of status anyway).

[Boiler 45,575]

I don't know, I thought that the government ... after 9/11, would be like hugely interested on what was going on with immigrants, and if they don't know where one is at any time that creates a crisis that they are going to pursue and I'd be an accomplice if I didn't go out of my way to let them know what was going on. If that's not the case then great, you're right it isn't my problem.

If they are not that interested in 3-5,000 people who walk in every day, without any inspection, why do you think they would be interested in her?

Including recently 2 Elephants and a Mariachi band.

[missy_antha 0]

Please, please do not take her back. The old adage a leopard never changes it's spots has never been truer.

I know you love her but the feeling is not mutual and even if she did come back, she would be gone again as soon as a better offer came along.

You are better off cutting her completely out of your life. I know it hurts but it will get better. Eventually you will find that she is not the first thing you think of when you wake in a morning and the last thing you think of when you fall asleep at night.

If you take her back you will only keep prolonging this agony, but you will also lose all respect for yourself and will begin to think that you deserve to be treated this badly and you don't - nobody does.

Edited November 2, 2006 by missy_antha

[dmartmar 1]

I honestly believe at this point, that she contemplated doing this on the day that we were married, pursuing another relationship as soon as she was here. I wonder if that would qualify for an annulment or if I should pursue divorce.

How 'bout contemplating that perhaps he was an old flame of hers from back home and was just waiting for someone like you to do him the favor and bring her over?

Now read this intently:

REPORT HER to INS. WITHDRAW EVERYTHING.

DIVORCE HER ### AND WITHIN THE DIVORCE, SUE HER ### TOO! Mental anguish, pain and suffering, everything! (Expect her to come running to you wanting to work things out at this stage. She will prostitute herself so TAKE ADVANTAGE, B/C YOU'LL GET TO DO WHAT YOU HAD ONLY WATCHED IN MOVIES UP TO THAT POINT, ASSUMING YOU HAVEN'T BY THEN OF COURSE, WITH HER OR BEFORE HER).

Follow through with the divorce AND lawsuit anyway. Tell her: women who screw with me, unfortunately end up getting pregnant without wanting to. SORRY!

Expect domestic violence charges, false ones at that, to be brought upon you at any point and time now.

FOLLOW THROUGH.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE'LL BE BACK IN LITHUANIA WONDERING FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE: WHERE DID I MESS UP?

(But most importantly, NEVER EVER TELL HER ANYTHING YOU'RE DOING, NOR TELL ANYONE YOU KNOW. You don't want her to fnd out first and hit you first with divorce papers using domestic violence as her reason).

(Also, NEVER LOSE YOUR COOL, RAISE YOUR VOICE, NOTHING! BE CAREFUL, EVEN WHEN YOU PROSTITUTE HER).

Edited November 4, 2006 by dmartmar

[mRx 16]

I honestly believe at this point, that she contemplated doing this on the day that we were married, pursuing another relationship as soon as she was here. I wonder if that would qualify for an annulment or if I should pursue divorce.

How 'bout contemplating that perhaps he was an old flame of hers from back home and was just waiting for someone like you to do him the favor and bring her over?

Now read this intently:

REPORT HER to INS. WITHDRAW EVERYTHING.

DIVORCE HER ### AND WITHIN THE DIVORCE, SUE HER ### TOO! Mental anguish, pain and suffering, everything! (Expect her to come running to you wanting to work things out at this stage. She will prostitute herself so TAKE ADVANTAGE, B/C YOU'LL GET TO DO WHAT YOU HAD ONLY WATCHED IN MOVIES UP TO THAT POINT, ASSUMING YOU HAVEN'T BY THEN OF COURSE, WITH HER OR BEFORE HER).

Follow through with the divorce AND lawsuit anyway. Tell her: women who screw with me, unfortunately end up getting pregnant without wanting to. SORRY!

Expect domestic violence charges, false ones at that, to be brought upon you at any point and time now.

FOLLOW THROUGH.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE'LL BE BACK IN LITHUANIA WONDERING FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE: WHERE DID I MESS UP?

(But most importantly, NEVER EVER TELL HER ANYTHING YOU'RE DOING, NOR TELL ANYONE YOU KNOW. You don't want her to fnd out first and hit you first with divorce papers using domestic violence as her reason).

(Also, NEVER LOSE YOUR COOL, RAISE YOUR VOICE, NOTHING! BE CAREFUL, EVEN WHEN YOU PROSTITUTE HER).

amen to that!