I miss my country terribly

[M+S 0]

Hello My friends.

I needed to talk ,I miss my country terribly and If eel bad that i will not be able to go back till one year from now or even more since Iam pregnant !

I miss everything I feel alone and lonely alot of times I miss my friends and mY family very very much

I feel bad that tomorrow is the feast and it will be the first feast ever i spend away from my family and my country..

No fire works .no songs .no new cloths ..no eideia..Nothing

I feel low because of that I can't imagine that every feast from now on in my life i will spend it this way!!!!

[melly 0]

Assalamu alaikum sister

Is there a local masjid that you go to or have you met any sisters in your area? Surely there must be someone around who you can talk to or share Eid with?? I really hope you can find someone. Are you getting any support at all during your pregnancy?

Insha'Allah you will find ways here to celebrate Eid and make it feel more like home for you.

[M+S 0]

I know there is a local Masjid next to me but i don't wear veil so I am hesitated to go I never met someone in my area thatis of my religion till now ..I know that kara here in VJ is 2 hours away from me though we nevr met though ..

About my pregnancy my husband is doing his best to support my mother in law call me every 2 days to see how am I soing ..it's just with all the feats I felt alone ..First feat ever awya from my country away from my family ..Thank you very much for caring to reply .

Salwa

[deeshla 0]

I know there is a local Masjid next to me but i don't wear veil so I am hesitated to go I never met someone in my area thatis of my religion till now ..I know that kara here in VJ is 2 hours away from me though we nevr met though ..

About my pregnancy my husband is doing his best to support my mother in law call me every 2 days to see how am I soing ..it's just with all the feats I felt alone ..First feat ever awya from my country away from my family ..Thank you very much for caring to reply .

Salwa

I understand how you feel. When I was living in Morocco (and thought I would be there for many more years) I always felt low during Christmastime - I could never get people to understand how festive this time was for me and my "tribe" -- that I needed chocolate and big feasts and sitting around the fireplace singing carols, etc. I remember people just laughed about the "big sock full of gifts" and suggested I eat an extra portion of tajine to make up for it.

I have a suggestion, though.

Have your own Eid with your husband! Tell him how important it is to you, what and how you celebrate with your family. Involve him in making a Eid treat and even invite people over to share in the food (anyway, that was how we did it in Morocco, lots of food and visiting!) - and then educate them about Eid. Ask your husband to imagine what it would be like to be in another country and have no reminder of Christmas (or Hannakuh, or whatever holiday is important to him). Even if you do not have a community to share the holiday, you can make a community of 2 in your own home. It might even be a nice tradition to start.

I feel for you. And Mabrouk Eid. Even as an ex-expat, I miss it too, so I can only imagine what you are feeling. But hang in there, and let yourself celebrate in some way - this will feel good.

My best,

Amanda

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Hey, everyone goes through many periods of missing home when they move to a new country. I'm sure we've all seen it in our husbands/wives, so you're in good company It does get worse around holidays too.

Sis, even if you're not a hijabi, you'll still be welcomed at the masjid inshaAllah. The usual protocol for our non hijabi sisters here is that they'll just put a scarf on when they go to the masjid. Just look to see what everyone else is doing. Eid is probably a good time to go, since everyone and their mother goes for eid prayers. Our masjid, which is normally half full for jummahs, it bursting at the seams half an hour before the prayer starts.

I also echo Deeshla, start your own traditions with your husband! And it may take awhile to develop things like this too. My husband and I are on our 3rd eid together, and we're just starting to get into a groove. Even if you just go out to have dinner together, put on your nicest clothes (getting new clothes can be too expensive!) and just have fun!

Hope you feel better!\.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Mark isn't Muslim? Wow! That's interesting. My deceased husband wasn't Muslim either, and it took us a bit of time to work out the Ramadan and Eid rituals for our mixed family. You do need a support system, tho, or life will get lonlier without others who share your need for festivities. I will think of some things we used to do that may help you the next time, insha'allah, and post them to you.

Eid Mubarak, everyone!

[noura 0]

Mark isn't Muslim? Wow! That's interesting. My deceased husband wasn't Muslim either, and it took us a bit of time to work out the Ramadan and Eid rituals for our mixed family. You do need a support system, tho, or life will get lonlier without others who share your need for festivities. I will think of some things we used to do that may help you the next time, insha'allah, and post them to you.

Eid Mubarak, everyone!

Mark is Muslim, but a recent convert, so I'm guessing he's not so familiar w/ the customs & traditions of Islam, particularly for celebrations and such...

Salwa, I hope you find some comfort and try starting some new traditions w/ Mark. Hopefully your blues will pass, but they're sure to resurface occasionally - just be mindful of it and talk to us, talk to Mark, call your family. Soon, inch'allah, you will start to feel a little more at home here. Eid Mubarak sister.

Hugs,

Noura

[M+S 0]

of course Mark is Muslim But this is our first Eid together and I used to feel the Eid by seeing peopl earound me happy believe it or not all i used to do nothing in the feast when i was in Egypt I used to enjoy just the songs in the Tv and my brother and my younger sister taking Eideia from mum and dad and me whne I got older ..I miss the atmosphere I miss the warmth of Egypt too much

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I am sorry I know nothing about your customs and beliefs but I am married to a Jewish man and I am Christian... when I first got here I found it very hard that I did not celebrate all the usual festivals Easter, Christmas and others..... I have decided to make my own traditions picking out all the bits I enjoyed most from the different ways I know people celebrate... it is not the same but I can make it as special as I want.... I also know at these special times I miss home more than I do normally.... I hope you will find some way to enjoy your special times here in the US and take happiness from your memories of time gone past instead of sadness...

Kezzie

[Together4ever 1]

Salwa,

I want to offer something. I haven't read the other replies so if I'm repeating I hope you'll forgive me. I do understand your feeling. I am not Egyptian but I was there long enough and took enough of it into my heart to say that I too have missed it miserably, this Ramadan especially.

I can also tell you what I went through that year I was in Egypt. I missed my home and what I knew to be "normal" terribly for about 2 months. There were days all I wanted was just to go home. But then I looked over at Mohammed and knew I couldn't leave him. Well, the joke was on me, I ended up having to, but after the discomfort of those first 2 months, it passed. I settled into my new home and made my life with him and found happiness.

I knew this would be hard on you, but if you can find the strength to be patient you will realize you have not lost anything. All those things you love about Egypt are still very much alive. You will find new loves in your husband's country too. One day you will wake up and realize you have 2 homes that you love equally and you are twice blessed.

Pregnancy kicks up some pretty intense emotions in a woman. Don't let them knock you off center or confuse you. Just be gentle to yourself and your husband and all of this will pass. Know your family loves you still and always and the next year of your life will fly by sweet heart. You'll have a new little one to take all your time. It will get better and sooner then you think you will be travelling to show your child your homeland.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Well, that was a bit confusing, especially since there really isn't any "of course" to both partners being Muslim these days, even if the wife is. Still, I do empathize. Eid in the US is not the same as in the home country, and when one partner has no real experience participating in a holiday and there is no real support system, so the effect is the same. I feel for you, Salwa. Even a virtual Eid is not the same as a real one. Plan for next year and it will be an even more special event as it will be your baby's first Eid! You have had many, many blessings, sweetie!

[MrsAmera 41]

Salwa - I just wanted to echo a lot of what has been said here. I know that my husband is having a really hard time being away from home this Ramadan/Eid and I have been trying extra hard to make it special for him. I didn't really understand the importance of this holiday but spent a lot of time reading and researching to find out everything I could. I even offered to go with him tomorrow before work to pray at the mosque. As just_waiting has said too - pregancy really affects your emotions. No kidding here, I'm sure you've seen it before but one minute you're laughing and the next little comment sends you off crying your eyes out. It doesn't matter how many people tell you this until you experience it though. I hope that tomorrow is a wonderful day for you - I am praying for you and your little babe!!

[doodlebug 3]

assalam alaykum sister

(((((hugs))))))

All I can tell you is that when I was pregnant I was a walking time bomb of emotions. That is not to belittle your homesickness....it's real and I'm sure it hurts.....but knowing what is magnifying it sometimes helps a bit.

I once interviewed a guy when I was six months pregnant. One of his eyes looked at me and the other was all over the place...plus he stuttered. As soon as he left the interview I bawled my eyes out for an hour!!! There's no telling what feelings you will have until the baby is born so just be good to yourself, pamper yourself and I'll keep you in my prayers.

[M+S 0]

Wow >>I really feel much better just reading all your posts and there are people that I Know they care for me and they understand my feelings I know iam not alone now..I feel better Ithink The special event makes me misses my home country more and more ..I loved and still love my friends very much and I miss them madly very much and I miss their company ..I miss people Morals there .

I feel better that I can finally talk to you about these feellings though ..

Thank you very much for your words and your support ..

EID MUBARAK

[Henia 11]

I know there is a local Masjid next to me but i don't wear veil so I am hesitated to go I never met someone in my area thatis of my religion till now ..I know that kara here in VJ is 2 hours away from me though we nevr met though ..

About my pregnancy my husband is doing his best to support my mother in law call me every 2 days to see how am I soing ..it's just with all the feats I felt alone ..First feat ever awya from my country away from my family ..Thank you very much for caring to reply .

Salwa

O snaps Salwa I am (normally) in your area too... I was living in Ann Arbor (before I came to Algerie)...yes Kara lives you, also Icey! Hmmm I am so sorry I am not in the USA I would come visit you! Snaps...as soon as I am back, which is unfortunately after Eid...we should all get together inchallah!

Love, Henia ( I am praying for you sis)