Pregnant... Should I Continue K1 Process

[kennym 275]

you sure are mighty full of yourself...

he he... :rofl:

Maybe you're right about me being full of something he he, but you love me anyway...

Look, it's a healthy discussion.. relax.. it's just a forum...

Seriously, you gonna work yourself over this.. he he.. thats really cool..

ANyhow. you are still wrong on all counts.. and the fact that you can't carry on a healthy discussion without attacking is scarry. are you taking medication?

Hey, relax.. and "know your role" he he..

[decocker 7,198]

he he... :rofl:

Maybe you're right about me being full of something he he, but you love me anyway...

Look, it's a healthy discussion.. relax.. it's just a forum...

Seriously, you gonna work yourself over this.. he he.. thats really cool..

ANyhow. you are still wrong on all counts.. and the fact that you can't carry on a healthy discussion without attacking is scarry. are you taking medication?

Hey, relax.. and "know your role" he he..

oh dear, you've been blocked

[kennym 275]

oh dear, you've been blocked

ok.. thanks,,,

[Xanax 349]

I think this has gotten quite off topic. Maybe this thread should be closed?

[Justud 42]

Run!!!! Run!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!

[kcoyclay1 98]

Here's a little bit of background on my situation. I met my fiance on a cruieship here in the U.S. He's from Jamaica. We fell in love and got engaged. A few months after the engagement I found out I was pregnant. Everything was going great until about a month ago. For the past months we have been arguing and fighting all the time, my fiance claims that I'm too loud and controlling. He has also made the statement that he is a MAN and that I need to learn to stay in a WOMAN's place and I should know my role. I have been trying to get him to explain to me what a woman's place is, but I have yet to get a real answer. I have also yet to get an answer to how I'm too controlling. He lives and works on a ship, how can I possibly conntrol anything in his life? Also, in regards to me being too loud, he apparently thinks that I am not supposed to ever raise my voice when talking to him. Everytime we get in an argue and my voice raises he hangs up the phone me. I find that so disrepectful, however he continues to do it, and totally disregards anything that I say.

So let me get to the point of this post, yesterday we got into another argument over something petty and little. In the mist of the argument, he demands that I just give him the baby when he's born and he'll take the child to Jamaica and raise him there. He totally skips over the whole breakup part that typically takes place. And he doesn't ask for his ring back, but instead he proceeds to demand that I give him my baby and that he just wants his son when he's born. At this point I think he's crazy. Who in there right mind tells a pregnant woman to hand over there baby. Especially when it came out of left field. So I was already having serious doubts about this relationship, because his behavior is beginning to show signs of a controlling and possibly abusive person but now I'm also afraid for my child's safety once he is born. If I let this man around my child, will he try to kidnap him and take him to Jamaica?

Do you all think I'm thinking a little too much into this? Is it one of those I'm just stressed out over this process and you're just stressed out moments? Or do you think my concerns are rationale and valid? Sometimes it's hard to tell, especially with the preganncy hormones. But I'm starting to have a gut feeling that it's best to get out of this situation before it gets worst. However, another part of me wants my child to have and know his father. Any advice would be appreciated.

(Also I don't need legal advice, I know my rights, I'm a 3 year law student and I work at a law firm. I'm just looking for advice from a rational person, relationship persepctive. It would also be nice to here from some women who have dealt with Jamaican/Carriean men before.)

Thanks!

I'm a Jamaican woman. RUN!!!!!!! RUN fast. Run long. RUN hard. RUN as if your life depends on it, because it does. RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!Grab that world record from USAIN BOLT and RUN!

He certainly has issues. If this is an indicator of what your marriage to him will be like, then get away from the pain and verbal abuse now! Do not allow love to be blind, because the price of a 20/20 vision, in hindsight, always leaves educational and experiential scars. Your gut feeling is right. He is short tempered and clearly does not have respect for you. His conversations are indicators of his mentality, and it appears as if he is has already bailed out. His talk of taking the child - as if he is the sole contributor - is rude. Who is he? God's gift to the world? He sounds like a ship-wreck (pun intended). You do not need him to ask for his ring to know what he is to much of a coward to verbalize. All he wants is his son and it means just that. Sorry to be so harsh, but no man should be talking down to any woman like that. What does he mean by know your place? Your place should be right there beside him on his level, walking hand in hand. You can own our own. You should be treated as equal partners. His control issues are showing - exhibit A. Take note. As my husband would say "cut him off like gangrene." The ball is in your court, and you are an intelligent woman. All the best.

Karen

[pursegal21 0]

Hello there, Gator.

I have been with my Jamaican fiance for 5 years. Your observations of Jamaican men are correct. They don't like screaming,yelling or any pushback of any kind but especially not from a woman, hence the "no problem" country slogan. They view America as a "womans country" where women rule everything and are dominant and the men follow their lead. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. I think what your guy means when he says "woman's role" he means the traditional role of the man being the head and the woman following. They appreciate and long for tradition.

Now with that being said I don't know how long you have known your guy or how much time you have spent with him. But having a few memorable vations does not give you the entire story on anyone. So we are already at a disadvantage. My fiance and I have had some issues and problem which is why we have been together so long and are just now about to make things official. Even though we have been together for 5 years there will still be major adjustments that will need to take place when he arrives here for this marriage to be successful. Marriage is extrmemly hard in itself and you throw differnt countries and cultures in there and it can be a sure mix for disaster. There is only one thing that will get you through this mess is true,genuine, unconditional love and also resprect for one another. If this does not exist it will NEVER work.

As far as your man, take the fact that he is Jamaican out of the equation. Is it acceptable for any man to treat you in this manner? As far as your baby you must make the right decision for him, but only you know what that is. Good Luck! If you ever want to talk I am always availalbe via facebook or email. Hit me up if you need to.