Mrs. T-B. & the Citizenship Test

[Expat1 971]

Background:

We mailed Mrs. T-B.'s N-400 (citizenship) to USCIS last week. I printed the 100 interview questions that USCIS can ask, wrote the answers, and gave them to Mrs. T-B. to study. She stated that she had "looked" at them "a little" during the last couple of days, between Facebook activity and chasing after young Mini-Bone.

As I tucked her into bed tonight (she has resigned herself to my late-night VJ-ing), the conversation went as follows:

Mrs. T-B.: I was looking on-line for "how to remodel your kitchen without money."

T-B.: Shouldn't you have been looking for "how to pass my citizenship test without studying?"

Mrs. T-B. [brightly]: I looked at the answers! Ask me some of the questions!

T-B.: OK... uh, "Who was the Father of our Country?"

Mrs. T-B.: Abraham Lincoln?'

T-B.: No, man.

Mrs. T-B.: Donald... Ronald Reagan?

T-B.: Good guy, but no, man.

Mrs. T-B.: Barack 0bama?

T-B.: [censored]

[silence]

T-B.: Here's a hint: Jorge...

Mrs. T-B.: Jorge Washington! George Washington! He or someone else is on the $5... the $1 bill, right?"

T-B. [invisibly rolling eyes]: Uh, si man.

Mrs. T-B. [undeterred]: Ask me another!

T-B.: OK... uh, "What is one thing that Benjamin Franklin is known for?"

Mrs. T-B.: Oh, I saw this one! He was hit by... hit by... [makes vertical zigzag motion with hand]

T-B. [helpfully]: That thing that happens before thunder?

Mrs. T-B.: Si -- that's it! But I can't remember the word in English.

T-B.: Lightning?

Mrs. T-B.: That's it! He was hit by lightning!

T-B.: What was he doing when he was hit by the lightning?

Mrs. T-B. [blankly]: Uh, mmmm... sitting in his back yard, drinking beer.

T-B.: No, no no... uh, si, man; we'll talk about this one later.

Mrs. T-B.: I know how I can study! You put the answers on an MP3, and in three days, I'll know all of them.

T-B.: All of them?

Mrs. T-B. [mischievously]: Si, and you can motivate me by paying me $10 for all of them that I miss.

T-B.: You're not going to sneak that one by me, no man.

Mrs. T-B. [flashing big brown puppy-dog eyes]: OK -- you can ask me more of the questions tomorrow, and sometimes husbands make financial arrangements so that wives can remodel their kitchen.

T-B. [to self]:

LOLLLL.........I see who does the moderating at the "T" house. Maybe this is a potential area for "appeals court"

Edited November 21, 2015 by Expat1

[TBoneTX 45,593]

She's appealing, but there's no appeal, si and sigh man.

Actually, nearly-5-year-old Mini-B. is in firm command of everything, wee man.

Did you read the whole thread, huh man?

[Pythos1 24]

I, for one, read the whole thread. And I didn't laugh one time. I laughed many times, but not once.

[Expat1 971]

She's appealing, but there's no appeal, si and sigh man.

Actually, nearly-5-year-old Mini-B. is in firm command of everything, wee man.

Did you read the whole thread, huh man?

Most of it LOL.........

Remember your case, 2007 was a rough time for everyone.

Ours just turned (6). That's the first one. Other one is almost 3. He's the one in charge. I feel ya.

[TBoneTX 45,593]

I, for one, read the whole thread. And I didn't laugh one time. I laughed many times, but not once.

A math expert, hmmm man:

Algebra = the national language of Algeria, si man.

Calculus = what the dental hygienist scrapes from one's teeth, si man.

1. Most of it LOL.........

2. Remember your case, 2007 was a rough time for everyone.

3. Ours just turned (6). That's the first one. Other one is almost 3. He's the one in charge. I feel ya.

1. Just most? Hmmmph, man.

2. Grrrrr, man.

3. They're preparing for future leadership roles, wee man and wee man.

[X Factor 1,112]

This is the funniest thread on this website lol.

[Pythos1 24]

This is the funniest thread on this website lol.

Yes it is, and I'm about to read the whole thing all over again, just to get many chuckles. Opo, man.

[SAT 9,609]

Here's another selfie of this thread's chief culprit:

So, t bone, how long has your wife been blind?

[TBoneTX 45,593]

Once she was blind, but now she can si, man!

[Stevephoto 230]

That was hysterical! Thanks!

[TBoneTX 45,593]

A Real and Recent Dream, in One Act
Having again refused to consider evidence that had been brought to the interview, the poorly trained CO at the consulate in Guayaquil, Ecuador had grabbed yet another innocent visa applicant by the collar and belt, and was preparing to heave him physically from the premises as a "fraud," when they tripped over a bottle, out of which popped a genie. The genie said, "Because it is obvious that you are mortal enemies, I will grant ONE of you ONE wish, and the other will automatically receive DOUBLE of what the first has wished for." The applicant immediately said, "I wish to be half-dead!"

Edited September 29, 2016 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,593]

Dialogue just now, see man:

 

Mrs. T-B.:  I have each.

T-B.:  Each what?

Mrs. T-B.:  I have each.

T-B.:  Each what?

Mrs. T-B.:  Each!  Each!

T-B.:  Each of what, already?

Mrs. T-B. [exaggerated enunciation]: I have each here, here!  [points to between shoulderblades]

[T-B. scratches each]

[X Factor 1,112]

My wife is going for her citizenship in about a month. We were reading this thread and laughing our heads off. 

[cdneh 3,112]

It's wonderful, isn't it? Sometimes when my Husband is quizzing me, I give one of her answers, just to watch his face  

[TBoneTX 45,593]

"The Wart of 1512" and "the Casino Indians" are integral answers to keep in one's forebrain.