be wared

[SOL.Broken 0]

Wow you manage to go 2 weeks with out having a disagreement.... we have at least 1 a week... and we have been married since April 2005 and we are still learning about eachother and I am sure we will be for many years to come.....

Kezzie

no the urguments are every other day, it is major every weeks or two week. For example, her job starts at 9:45 A.M., I drive her to work, it is a 30 min. drive, as responsible person, ' I should not have to tell her we are going to be late ', We leave home on avrg. at 9:35 a.m. for me to get her to work at 9:45 a.m. it is a 30 min. drive, i have to go fast to get her there in time.... it is as if it does not matter to her that she is late, after all she has allways been late in her life for everything, this should be her responsiblility to know leave at 9:15 no mater what.

after all she was 2 hours late getting to our marraige service to get married.... According to her she had to pack a bag for jeans and such to wear for the next morining after we leave the hotel.... i should have known better.... she was LATE 2 HOURS FOR HER OWN WEDDING., and had not and did not say I'm sorry i was late not even to others nevermind me,... and you want me to give her more time...

Edited October 21, 2006 by sg14all

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Wow she was 2 hours late for her own wedding.... I thought I was bad I was 15 mins late.....

Kezzie

[SOL.Broken 0]

Wow she was 2 hours late for her own wedding.... I thought I was bad I was 15 mins late.....

Kezzie

the funny part is, for the two hours she was late, no one would ansewer they cell phones, not her, not her mom, not her dad, we called and called and called and called, and then they showed up 2 hours late, as if WE WERE THE ONES LATE, not even , sorry we were late, or something.... the warring signs were there, i was blinded by LOVe to see them... now i am not feeling that i'm in LOVE so i feel i can see now

see that is what i mean, i thought she was more compatable, what felt, who i felt i married, in reality is not the same person, slowly my love has depleaded to almost nothing, my heart was broken and is being broken by her way too many times.... Somethings you have to put effort into change, that if YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT. i do not want to change her, i loved then the way she was, i can't say same thing now...

Edited October 21, 2006 by sg14all

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Then I am sorry for you my friend.... and wish you well in the future..

Kezzie

[Marc and Olga 0]

Just my opinion, perhaps you should not have rushed the marriage...I mean seriously:

2004-10-22 we met

2004-12-02 Got married

I mean after 2 months of daily emails Olga and I had only started to talk seriously about marriage, we were getting to know each other ...

[SOL.Broken 0]

Just my opinion, perhaps you should not have rushed the marriage...I mean seriously:

2004-10-22 we met

2004-12-02 Got married

if you read my 1st post, this is my point to all,,, DO NOT RUSH TO MARRIAGE, even if you need to bring them and get together on K3, it is more work, but is easier on both, and shows how much each party is committed to making the relationship work, it takes a lot of work, but both parties need to want, and desire to adjust to one another and learn what makes the other happy and bring that happyness to each other, it is a two way street and it takes a lot of work, but the need and desire to make it work should be there.

i brought her on CR1, and I can already tell, after 2 yrs an. she get's her perm. Green Card, and i can tell now that she will be more demanding and will be revert back to her real self once the perm. Green Card is on hand... this is the issue. who we realy are and how we present ourself to get what we want.....

B e ca r e f u l l........

don't end up like US

[Marc and Olga 0]

Just my opinion, perhaps you should not have rushed the marriage...I mean seriously:

2004-10-22 we met

2004-12-02 Got married

if you read my 1st post, this is my point to all,,, DO NOT RUSH TO MARRIAGE, even if you need to bring them and get together on K3, it is more work, but is easier on both, and shows how much each party is committed to making the relationship work, it takes a lot of work, but both parties need to want, and desire to adjust to one another and learn what makes the other happy and bring that happyness to each other, it is a two way street and it takes a lot of work, but the need and desire to make it work should be there.

i brought her on CR1, and I can already tell, after 2 yrs an. she get's her perm. Green Card, and i can tell now that she will be more demanding and will be revert back to her real self once the perm. Green Card is on hand... this is the issue. who we realy are and how we present ourself to get what we want.....

B e ca r e f u l l........

don't end up like US

Now you got me wondering, whose idea was it to wed so soon? Yours or hers...and then the next question is why?

[desert_fox 32]

This definitely requires stronger voodoo curses.

[SOL.Broken 0]

i was overseas on a family matter, i met her, though an introduction of a friend of my moms, we started seeing each other, we both agreed this worth working on, i extended my stay for 3 weeks or so, to get to know each other, but before i knew it we got into the marrage talk, and it sure felt like the right thing to do..

you know what i was my fault, i should have known better, and just taken deep breath and dated her over the phone for a while and then have decided,

we met for 5 weeks and then got married, what a shmock i have been or was and perhaps still am.... i meant good, i did wrong. does not solve it know,,,

it was my 1st marraige at age of 45 it was her second at age of 40, i thought she know what she wanted, and we wanted the same thing, i do not blieve she wants what she told me then, and looking back, she was buying time during this time to per haps get here........ a housband of a good friend of hers met me in toronto once about 6 months ago, and in a joking way her told me in confidance, that ' i hope she will be happy and i hope you both will be happy, AFTER ALL SHE REALY WANTED TO COME TO N.A. FOR TOO LONG AND WANTED TO HERE VERY BAD ',,,, hind side..what can i say i'm a shmock

[bradyvicky 0]

This whole post is just one guy, who obviously doesnt have his s--t together, trying to get attention and support. I dont believe 99% of it for one second, and am sure there is a whole other side to the story. Why even entertain someone who posts what kind of person he is being here and start a losing argument with him?? Where is the post even going?

Hey buddy, get divorced and move to Hawaii - let your new ex-wife do what she wants.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

deleted.

I'm sorry what you went through, but I'd say that there is much you can learn about yourself from this experience. Life is always a painful lesson, but a necessary one.

Edited October 22, 2006 by Steven_and_Jinky

[Carol&Marc 0]

This sounds very Immature! It sounds like your holding her responsible for the 40k? If when you look at her and say why did I spend that money for her? you got a serious resentment problem, I look at Carol everyday and remember the nightmare of long distance I now wake up with her every morning and totally love seeing her there in real life! MONEY well spent,Let go of the money and bring back the feelings you had for her before you spent it!

[SOL.Broken 0]

i am not asking for this to go anywhere, and wanting anything from anyone from this forum, just expressing my issues and asking for all to get to know one another better, to bring percentage of success to level of MUTAL COEXISTANCE, not to do as i did, i fell in love too quickly and so did she, we now and i guess i more than her, realize that we being too alike or indifferent, is a big issue and is not one two partners can draw from their love alone to overcome.

i have told her all of this too, and i agree there is allways two sides to any story., i have told her, i will support her to get aplace, get a car, and help with finilizing her cr1 visa to become a permenent one, and that i don't mind doing as it is something i owe her, as i promissed it to her early in the relationship.

when two mature people, 45 and 40 who are set in their ways, and are too much of an opposite to attract and mix it up enough to overcome issues, and become true partners in that sense, it is difficult.

i brought all i got into this relationship, i did this i did, that, etc, she is holding back what she has, and has a difficulty in bringing it all in and too too too many chances where given to her to bring it all in, yes financialy is what i mean.

anyhow, i am asking anything from anyone here, i got a lot of support here when i was working on her cr1, lot of good people, i had posts back then about issues like this, and i did get good advise then to hold on, and hange tight as things get better when we start living together, but has not, and i can see her changing, nor should she, as we are individuals, yet we need to be compatiable in our ways and our values to build on the love, but my love is getting depleted day by day.

i guess it is my logic overcoming my feeling and the heart, and the reality of who we both are now, that we live together.

anyhow, i don't want anything from anyone here , it has been and is place for me, VJ, to vent, to express myself and to share, that is all.

[zimmy33 0]

I am sorry you are going through all of this. It is clear that your marrige is hitting some rough spots. All I can say is that perhaps you should seek some advice in real life, rather then on the net. We are just faceless, nameless people... whose motives you do not know.

I would suggest a good church of some sort (ie. baptist or alliance or presbyterian church in your area). They provide FREE marital counselling for couples. The whole voodoo thing is rather creepy if you ask me.. but that is my own personal perspective on faith. The voodoo thing seems to have upset you, as you keep mentioning it in your posts over and over again ... and I don't blame you. All the more reason to perhaps seek out advice/prayer/counselling in a good church.

As well, just some reminders for you:

1. the US government has a maximum limit on the number of times you can sponser someone for a spousal greencard (if your plan is to divorce, and then find another person overseas). I believe it is 3 times maximum

2. At the age of 40 years... the child bearing years may be a little past. If you guys are serious about fixing your marriage, and also committed to having children, you will both probably need to see a fertility specialist to increase your chances of bearing children and starting a family.

3. you can receive prayer in a church for the voodoo spells... God is always much superior than any power the voodoo witch doctors rely on.

4. it's a good motto to never let the sun go down on your anger. Trying to at least forgive each other (even if you don't resolve the problem) is a good place to start

5. like many posters have suggested already... got get some counselling. If you love your wife, as you said you did... counselling should be done before the whole divorce thing is addressed

good luck

[no name 1]

I'm sorry to hear things are not working out, but you married someone you met 6 weeks earlier?!?!?!