Automatic 2 year wait

[sandinista! 1,816]

With all due respect to those who have successfully overcome denials at Casablanca and gone on to have successful relationships, and with all due respect to those who have legitimately been caught completely off guard by total scammers without any warning, I find it totally insulting that the hard work my husband and I put in to having a successful outcome at Casablanca is completely dismissed out of hand by someone with no experience there whatsoever. The work, time, and money we invested in the whole process deemed meaningless, because according to this person, it's a completely capricious process, devoid of any nuance on the part of consular officers, and we just "happened" to get lucky. Despite all evidence to the contrary, displayed in more than one thread, this person's braying insistence about Casablanca being staffed by heartless, mindless drones is not going to serve them well when they reach this part of the process. 

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

I seen "naive, know-it-all" first few posts she wrote....let her hang herself. She does not need our help becasue she rebuffs every answer for help with an explanation. So OBVIOUSLY, stay off her "forum" haha Popcorn? I've got kettle corn peeps!

Hmmm and by the way, this warning (which only a select few have such warnings)directly from the consular website, means NOTHING then?

"Internet Romance and Marriage Fraud: Many U.S. citizens befriend Moroccans through Internet dating and social networking sites and these relationships often to lead marriage or engagement. While many of the marriages between U.S. citizens and Moroccans are successful, the U.S. Consulate General in Casablanca warns against marriage fraud. It is not uncommon for foreign nationals to enter into marriages with U.S. citizens solely for immigration purposes. Relationships developed via correspondence, particularly those begun on the Internet, are especially susceptible to manipulation. Often, the marriages end in divorce in the United States when the foreign national acquires legal permanent residence (“green card”) or U.S. citizenship. In some cases, the new U.S. citizen or permanent resident then remarries a wife he divorced before, around the same time as entering into a relationship with a sponsoring U.S. citizen.

Some of the signs that an Internet contact may be developing a relationship with a U.S. citizen in order to obtain an immigrant visa through marriage are:

Declarations of love within days or weeks of the initial contact;

Proposals or discussions of marriage soon after initial contact;

Requests to the U.S. citizen to visit the foreign national’s home country soon after the declaration of love or proposal;

Responses to messages from the U.S. citizen friend are along the lines “I love you/Sorry I missed your call,” or similarly one-sided conversations;

Once engaged, married, or an immigrant visa petition is filed, the Moroccan spouse/boy or girlfriend suddenly starts missing scheduled appointments to chat or call.

While chat rooms, dating and social networking sites are great ways to make friends across international borders, the U.S. government urges U.S. citizens who meet foreign nationals on the Internet to keep in mind the signs noted above. Entering into a marriage contract for the principal purpose of facilitating immigration to the United States for an alien is against U.S. law and can result in serious penalties, including fines and imprisonment for the U.S. citizen and the foreign national involved."

Direct link: http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_975.html

[Ihavequestions 419]

I seen "naive, know-it-all" first few posts she wrote....let her hang herself. She does not need our help becasue she rebuffs every answer for help with an explanation. So OBVIOUSLY, stay off her "forum" haha

I saw "chip on shoulder" which is not the best stance because if we only look for negatives, we're only ever going to see negatives.

Popcorn? I've got kettle corn peeps!

Pass it this way!

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Lol..gosh I used to be an overly sensitive newbie once....ill have patience for her. Ive noticed on MENA all the denials outta Morocco with same such protests like yours only to disappear forever says a lot in my years here. It means most likely faked and not worth pursuing on.the guys part in.the end I'm sure. There are a handful of people who stuck through a denial and were approved though...you should be PMing them. I would be.

[Krikit 1,164]

Wow...ignorance at large....there are fraudulent piranhas everywhere not just in Morocco and there are plenty of consulates that are not as abusive as Morocco but those piranhas are allowed to come to my country without being verbally abused or hassled like some Moroccan beneficiaries. It's an unfair process so to call people piranhas and exclude all the people from other countries who are gold diggers and marry men 20 and 30 years older and assume they are honest because they are approved, is stupid. If I'm emotional then you are stupid in your reply...better yet stay off my forum. And I am very aware they are not worrying about my feelings. That's obvious in how they treat people.

Take a look at the Terms of Service located in the link at the bottom of each page. You agreed to abide by them when you joined the site. Consequences of violations include thread bans and suspensions. Best rule of thumb is to treat others as you would like to be treated. It's good to keep in mind that your interpretation of the written word may not be what the poster was trying to convey. It's also good to keep in mind that the members on this forum have valuable information. Best not to tick them off.

[msheesha 548]

I seen "naive, know-it-all" first few posts she wrote....let her hang herself. She does not need our help becasue she rebuffs every answer for help with an explanation. So OBVIOUSLY, stay off her "forum" haha Popcorn? I've got kettle corn peeps!

Hmmm and by the way, this warning (which only a select few have such warnings)directly from the consular website, means NOTHING then?

Anyone who thinks speaking about the trolls in the internet cafes is "ignorance at large" is in some form of hard-core denial. Realizing that this is what the CO's see every day and preparing for that reality IS what will help people in their visa process in Casa. But, what do I know? I'm just a stupid, ignorant misspelling fool, butting into a privately owned forum!

Edited August 20, 2012 by msheesha

[Crossed_fingers 128]

Lol..gosh I used to be an overly sensitive newbie once....ill have patience for her. Ive noticed on MENA all the denials outta Morocco with same such protests like yours only to disappear forever says a lot in my years here. It means most likely faked and not worth pursuing on.the guys part in.the end I'm sure. There are a handful of people who stuck through a denial and were approved though...you should be PMing them. I would be.

Although, the OP has not been denied. I don't think that she has even received the NOA2 yet? It is absolutely necessary to prepare for an interview at Casa and I think any couple facing that consulate is wise to use their time learning as much as they can about the consulate...but it does seem like a bit much to be so concerned about how to respond to a consulate denial when USCIS is still processing the case!

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Oh lord....lol

[kristen_maroc 126]

You've gotten some really good advice, and I certainly don't feel the need to re-hash this.

But everyone is right when they say that Casablanca is hard. You have at least two red flags already: the age difference (though 7 years might not be a problem-- who is older), and the fast marriage.

I know you said it isn't really an easy thing to do with your situation financially or with your job, but I would highly encourage you to spend a lot of time in Morocco between now and when he has his interview, for a few reasons. (Move if you can!)

1. If you were to either move over there or go very often or for long periods of time, it'll look good to the consulate.

2. (And, in some ways, this is more important!) If you've known your husband for less than a year, you are both obviously still learning each other. I don't know if my husband and I would be doing as well as we are if I hadn't lived in Morocco for 4+ years. Understanding the culture, understanding nuances, understanding the framework that is the way he sees the world is really helpful, and I'm still learning and struggling with some things that stem from culture. I'm not saying that it's necessary or that it won't work unless you do this-- many of the women here are testaments to that! But it's been a challenging year for us because of the stress that comes with so many life changes at once. They've been positive stressors! But still stressful, and it's taken a toll on both of us.

And even after 4 years, I feel like in a lot of ways, I've only scratched the surface of UNDERSTANDING Morocco. I met many, many, many people who had come a few weeks at a time and to be honest, it's very... honeymoonish. You see all the good, and very little of the bad or the deep. You don't have the opportunity to really understand why or how, you just see what, and a couple glimpses under the surface.

As I said-- it's not a prerequisite to a successful marriage, but I know in my case, it's been instrumental. And my husband still says "you don't get Morocco" to me on a more regular basis than I'd like...even though I speak Berber and have lived in more diverse areas of the country than he has!

Oh my gosh. I'm beginning to sound like one of those people I hated when I first came to VJ.

[Fandango 1,439]

'Stay off my forum' is just too fantastically delicious for words.

[Sarah B 26]

I'd love to offer some advice or something helpful but the other posters have done a great job only to get told to leave a public forum that people feel is "private" in some way...yowza. I hope that the OP understands that high fraud consulates are no joke even if you have no red flags.

[KittyPollitt 284]

Oh man. I'm sorry I missed the meat and potatoes of this thread. Sigh.

[Laveau 67]

Hi Sarah!

[kristen_maroc 126]

Lol..gosh I used to be an overly sensitive newbie once....ill have patience for her.

I was too (though I was also fairly confident that Y and I had some things going for us that would make things easier-- we met in person through a colleague, not online; I had been in Morocco for years, we're the same age, etc.). And I felt lucky that nobody was "unkind" (read= realistic, sometimes in a somewhat harsh way) to me, but all the horror stories here STILL got to me. I try to have patience and grace with starry-eyed newbies, but it's true... it's better to know what you are up against and really look and examine your relationship at the petition part than at AOS or after 6 months of marriage or the GC stage.

I think it's a hard balance because what a lot of people don't understand is that reality IS compassion, if it's done with the right tone and intention. Marriage is hard; immigration takes time, money, and sacrifices on both parts. The red flags are there for a reason. Not every Moroccan/Algerian/Nigerian/other high-fraud countries are fraudulent. Thought it might feel to someone new like people here paint everyone with that very broad brush, it's really nothing further than the truth. We've all taken that leap of faith.

But cultural differences are hard-- I'll say it again. Even if fraud wasn't an issue, I think there'd still be somewhat of a similar sentiment: know what you are getting into before you jump in head-first, understand that with most marriages no matter where people are from, the honeymoon period wears off eventually and the groove of a married partnership needs to be able to work without that chemistry or interest or la-la-ness of being in love. Some couples can keep that forever, but most don't.

Understand that no matter how much you know about your partner's culture, there will be surprises, they will hit at the most unexpected time, and it will through you and your partner into a tailspin at times. Often, it's a short tailspin that lasts a few minutes or hours and you can grow and learn from it and laugh afterwords. But it can also be more serious.

As always here, take what I say with a healthy grain of salt. I speak from my experience and impressions, not from some lofty claim of having "expertise" on the subject. We did the K1 in the beginning of 2011; my husband moved to the US just about a year ago, so we are still pretty new ourselves, though for what it's worth, we're both relatively happy and I continue to have honeymoon feelings towards him and us as a couple. But it's still been if not the hardest year of my life, one of the top 3 best AND hardest; I've cried to a therapist on almost a weekly basis because it's so damned hard sometimes.... he's had some pretty serious anxiety with the move, and I still feel like I don't know where we are going as a couple when it comes to finding a path towards stability and career goals. We've struggled financially even though we're now over the 50% mark for US households in terms of salary. We've struggled with the direction he will take towards career. We've both sacrificed many opportunities we've had to be together (job opportunities, graduate school, him finishing his degree, etc), and it's been worth it.

It IS worth it. But you know what? I feel really, really, really damned lucky. Because the man I married is a better husband than he was boyfriend. But until we really lived together and got married, I didn't actually know him. I knew things about his personality, and I knew that I trusted and loved him. My intuition was that he was a good guy and that-- mainly because of his strong faith-- he would treat me and people around me well. He has. He's such a trooper, it's insane. He has to be the most patient man I ever knew, and I am just so full of love and warmth and gratitude that though I didn't really KNOW him until we got married, he's better than I could have ever hoped for.

But it could have been different. And every day, it's beautiful but it's not a walk in the park.

YMMV.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I was too (though I was also fairly confident that Y and I had some things going for us that would make things easier-- we met in person through a colleague, not online; I had been in Morocco for years, we're the same age, etc.). ...

These are the kinds of posts that keep me coming back here to read and share experiences, and renew the idea that this is, in fact, a worthwhile site, long after we've gotten a visa.