K-1 denied :(

[pushbrk 12,598]

Really? Cause having met in person before you get married is a requirement for a K-1 visa. It just so happens that you chose to get married outside of the US where it's not as much a factor, but I guarantee it was looked at. Is name calling something you can't control?

Seems you have your blinders on. The things we're discussing have a broader context than you seem willing to embrace.

Actually, the requirement is to meet your fiance prior to filing a petition. For a spouse, the requirement is to legally marry AND consummate the marriage prior to filing a petition. I met my wife before we married.

Edited August 7, 2012 by pushbrk

[Teddy B 17,251]

Your last sentence is false. It is not possible to "fall for something" if you know it's fake. As for your first paragraph, "Hindsight is 20/20." Not sure why you're pursuing this line of argument. Scams are one of the reasons for the minimum requirements like meeting your fiance(e) or consummating a marriage prior to filing a petition.

Three indisputable facts coexist in the instant context.

1. People will ignore obvious signs something is wrong, when they think they're in love.

2. People will take what seem to many and even themselves to be significant risks that DO pay off.

3. About half all marriages eventually end in divorce, regardless of how the couple met or courted.

Again, the "never traveled" issue is small by itself but usually doesn't exist by itself. Those people are good "targets". Consular officers are on alert to signs of targets, so they can dig deeper to determine if the potential target is actually a victim. Sometimes they are and sometimes they're not.

My last sentence is completely true. The world is full of people with false hope, these are the people that are most susceptable to scams, it doesn't matter if they've never travelled or if they're globetrotters, if they are naive enough to be scammed, they will be. Have you ever seen scammers on the street playing the "shell game"? That game has been around for centuries and everyone knows it's a scam, yet everytime the scammer sets up his game, there are people lined up to play it. How can you sit here and tell me that scams are one of the reasons for minimum requirements such as meeting your fiance, which you chose not to do, and then proceed to tell me I sound clueless for pointing this very same thing out to you?

[pushbrk 12,598]

My last sentence is completely true. The world is full of people with false hope, these are the people that are most susceptable to scams, it doesn't matter if they've never travelled or if they're globetrotters, if they are naive enough to be scammed, they will be. Have you ever seen scammers on the street playing the "shell game"? That game has been around for centuries and everyone knows it's a scam, yet everytime the scammer sets up his game, there are people lined up to play it. How can you sit here and tell me that scams are one of the reasons for minimum requirements such as meeting your fiance, which you chose not to do, and then proceed to tell me I sound clueless for pointing this very same thing out to you?

You're not a detail person, are you?

The people that fall for the Nigeria money scams don''t know they are scams. I didn't say anything about shell games. Your sentence was false and contradicted itself.

Read the minimum requirements again. I met them. I did not "chose not to do".

We have literally thousands, and perhaps the majority of members of VJ, (now and in the past) who made their "decision" to become engaged or "decision"" to marry prior to having met their loved one in person. In EACH case, they first met the requirements for filing a petition. (or they were not successful) In EACH case, they could change their minds after meeting. It is not our business to judge HOW they conducted their courtships and frankly, to make such judgmental comments is a violation of the terms of service for VJ. So, please STOP, immediately.

The discussion in these "upper" visa forums is to be confined to immigration matters. Judgmental relationship comments are out of line.

[Teddy B 17,251]

You're not a detail person, are you?

The people that fall for the Nigeria money scams don''t know they are scams. I didn't say anything about shell games. Your sentence was false and contradicted itself.

Read the minimum requirements again. I met them. I did not "chose not to do".

We have literally thousands, and perhaps the majority of members of VJ, (now and in the past) who made their "decision" to become engaged or "decision"" to marry prior to having met their loved one in person. In EACH case, they first met the requirements for filing a petition. (or they were not successful) In EACH case, they could change their minds after meeting. It is not our business to judge HOW they conducted their courtships and frankly, to make such judgmental comments is a violation of the terms of service for VJ. So, please STOP, immediately.

The discussion in these "upper" visa forums is to be confined to immigration matters. Judgmental relationship comments are out of line.

I haven't judged anyone, so let's not play that game. If anyone has violated TOS, it's you with your constant name calling and belittling.

[TracyTN 237]

You are right noone will change my mind, could anybody change your mind about the person you are with? By the way Im not most people, December will be 2yrs for us, and believe me even if someone tries to pretend to be someone else they will eventually show their true colors.

Yes, you're right - eventually. Usually once they're in the US and with a green card in hand.

I know that scams take place everyday, everywhere. Yes it is very easy for someone to sweettalk someone online, but I am not gulliable, naive or dumb. 2yrs is not rushing, yes I know we didnt meet but now we will.

2 years is a walk in the park if your ultimate goal is to get out of your country and live in the US legally.

I know you think people are being mean to you, but you should really listen and look at your relationship for a minute without the rose colored glasses. Maybe those here are God's way of helping you see what you've otherwise refused to.

[KAL 1]

Ok thank you all, I get it now. The fact that he is Nigerian is an automatic red flag. I now know that the Lagos is the hardest to convince to receive a visa. I also know what we have is real, although I appreciate the advice, and tips, what matters is what the three of us know, him, myself and yes GOD. I am fully aware of the scams that takes place in Nigeria. VJ is not the first place in which I have heard about Nigeria and 419 and all of that. In no way am I saying that people in Nigeria do not scam others, Im just saying that not all of them and defiitely not the person I am involved with. Now if by chance I am wrong, then guess what Im human we can't always be right. Does that me that I will end this, NO because life and love is a risk, no matter where you are or who you fall in love with.There will always be a risk of being hurt by someone you love, but if we focus on not getting hurt, noone would ever know the joy of being loved and loving someone in return. Only the THREE of us know what is really in our hearts. Until I make further progress, this is my last comment to this thread. Once again thanks for the advice, I will continue to read, I will continue to go in with both eyes and ears open.

Edited August 7, 2012 by KAL

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My last sentence is completely true. The world is full of people with false hope, these are the people that are most susceptable to scams, it doesn't matter if they've never travelled or if they're globetrotters, if they are naive enough to be scammed, they will be. Have you ever seen scammers on the street playing the "shell game"? That game has been around for centuries and everyone knows it's a scam, yet everytime the scammer sets up his game, there are people lined up to play it. How can you sit here and tell me that scams are one of the reasons for minimum requirements such as meeting your fiance, which you chose not to do, and then proceed to tell me I sound clueless for pointing this very same thing out to you?

Sorry, but I demand my right to be scammed and it is no one's business, especially not the governments. Pushbrk filed an I-130 for a spouse, which means he was married before he filed the petition. Some people take the position that the spouse visa shows more commitment than a fiancee visa since the fiancee visa is nothing but a "b-1 with benefits" But who am I to judge?

As Pushbrk states, we all meet the requirements for the respective petitions we filed. As for me I knew I met my wife about ...well,instantly, when she turned and looked at me before we had ever said a word to each other or even seen each other at any other time in our lives, and I am paralyzed still to this day 5 years later. It took her a couple more hours to figure out she just met the boy she was going to marry, but she is slow like that.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Ok thank you all, I get it now. The fact that he is Nigerian is an automatic red flag. I now know that the Lagos is the hardest to convince to receive a visa. I also know what we have is real, although I appreciate the advice, and tips, what matters is what the three of us know, him, myself and yes GOD. I am fully aware of the scams that takes place in Nigeria. VJ is not the first place in which I have heard about Nigeria and 419 and all of that. In no way am I saying that people in Nigeria do not scam others, Im just saying that not all of them and defiitely not the person I am involved with. Now if by chance I am wrong, then guess what Im human we can't always be right. Does that me that I will end this, NO because life and love is a risk, no matter where you are or who you fall in love with.There will always be a risk of being hurt by someone you love, but if we focus on not getting hurt, noone would ever know the joy of being loved and loving someone in return. Only the THREE of us know what is really in our hearts. Until I make further progress, this is my last comment to this thread. Once again thanks for the advice, I will continue to read, I will continue to go in with both eyes and eyes open.

Good luck! I find marriage and commitment a wonderful thing. I hope you find it also. I haven't had a bad day since I met Alla.

[Teddy B 17,251]

Sorry, but I demand my right to be scammed and it is no one's business, especially not the governments. Pushbrk filed an I-130 for a spouse, which means he was married before he filed the petition. Some people take the position that the spouse visa shows more commitment than a fiancee visa since the fiancee visa is nothing but a "b-1 with benefits" But who am I to judge?

As Pushbrk states, we all meet the requirements for the respective petitions we filed. As for me I knew I met my wife about ...well,instantly, when she turned and looked at me before we had ever said a word to each other or even seen each other at any other time in our lives, and I am paralyzed still to this day 5 years later. It took her a couple more hours to figure out she just met the boy she was going to marry, but she is slow like that.

Most people I know would never think of committing to marriage without meeting their future spouse prior to their wedding day.

Edited August 7, 2012 by Teddy B

[pushbrk 12,598]

Most people I know would never think of committing to marriage without meeting their future spouse prior to their wedding day.

Stick around a while and you'll find most VJ members have not only thought of but already done the kind of things most of your, my or their friends don't think they would ever think of doing. Until shortly before I did it, I never thought of committing to marriage under the circumstances I did either. Probably most VJ members' friends and family at least at one time thought they were crazy for doing what they did. Some of them were. Most of the members here are engaged or married to people from a country without a border touching the USA, whom they met on the internet. For VJ,.....YOU....have the minority oddball relationship. When you get your head around that, you'll at least be reading from the same book even if not on the same page.

[QueenE 174]

Stick around a while and you'll find most VJ members have not only thought of but already done the kind of things most of your, my or their friends don't think they would ever think of doing. Until shortly before I did it, I never thought of committing to marriage under the circumstances I did either. Probably most VJ members' friends and family at least at one time thought they were crazy for doing what they did. Some of them were. Most of the members here are engaged or married to people from a country without a border touching the USA, whom they met on the internet. For VJ,.....YOU....have the minority oddball relationship. When you get your head around that, you'll at least be reading from the same book even if not on the same page.

Why do you keep responding? Some think your crazy for filing for someone you have never met ( regardless of meeting online) and you think its perfectly fine. Neither sides are going to convince each otherwise...

[pushbrk 12,598]

Why do you keep responding?

Because I want to. Do you have something to add to the conversation?

[NY_BX 397]

Look at this! A new thread with EXACTLY the $heit we've been all debating here: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/381879-fiancee-left/

After 3 DAYS of landing in the US, WHALA! The lady pulled a Houdini with smoke and disappeared.

Edited August 7, 2012 by NY_BX

[Teddy B 17,251]

Stick around a while and you'll find most VJ members have not only thought of but already done the kind of things most of your, my or their friends don't think they would ever think of doing. Until shortly before I did it, I never thought of committing to marriage under the circumstances I did either. Probably most VJ members' friends and family at least at one time thought they were crazy for doing what they did. Some of them were. Most of the members here are engaged or married to people from a country without a border touching the USA, whom they met on the internet. For VJ,.....YOU....have the minority oddball relationship. When you get your head around that, you'll at least be reading from the same book even if not on the same page.

It's too bad that anything good you might have to say gets immediately swept away with your condescending attitude.

I think it's great that you and other VJ members were able to marry people sight unseen and have it work out so far. But it's certainly not the norm, nor is it something that any rational person would advise someone else to do.

[QueenE 174]

No I dont have anything to add cause I have more important things to do then to start internet drama with someone who is so quick to be rude but not quick enough to know the biggest requirement for an application, not quick enough to know no Nigeria man, I dont care what you think will marry someone who is out child bearing age, who is not quick enough to know Nigerian dont genuinely get married to someone who has so much as met their family. So keep being rude and ridiculous keep responding to fuel the fire, so you have nothing better to do with your time.