K-1 denied :(

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

I have to say, this blind faith in God worries me. It sounds too.... romantic.

Me too.

I hope not, for her sake, but I hear that train coming.

[NY_BX 397]

Me too.

I hope not, for her sake, but I hear that train coming.

and is honking loudly....

[Sandra G. 5,047]

Kal you said "God gives us delays sometimes because at the time we want something it may not be time to receive it", but remember that God sometimes didn't give us things because It was not meant to be though.

Edited August 3, 2012 by sandranj

[Olomi_811 130]

Kal you said "God gives us delays sometimes because at the time we want something it may not be time to receive it", but remember that God sometimes didn't give us things because It was not meant to be though.

Wouldn't it be hard to determine what is meant to be if one did not follow the instructional guidelines of the petition? KAL now understands that USCIS does not make exceptions and perhaps that was just 1 of the lessons she needed to learn. As she said she was trying to be obedient to her spiritual leader (I personally would be asking him for a refund). People are quick to say the person on the other end is scamming especially if they are Nigerian. Scammers aren't country specific.

KAL you should know if this is the man for you. If you are not sure, pray about it, ask for a sign, and wait for it. Your pastor and no one else can do that for you.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Wouldn't it be hard to determine what is meant to be if one did not follow the instructional guidelines of the petition? KAL now understands that USCIS does not make exceptions and perhaps that was just 1 of the lessons she needed to learn. As she said she was trying to be obedient to her spiritual leader (I personally would be asking him for a refund). People are quick to say the person on the other end is scamming especially if they are Nigerian. Scammers aren't country specific.

KAL you should know if this is the man for you. If you are not sure, pray about it, ask for a sign, and wait for it. Your pastor and no one else can do that for you.

I think the people here were trying to help her with the I-129 first and foremost, the scamming part came after hearing that she and her fiance have never met. I agree that it isn't country specific, but Lagos isn't the hardest country to get through for no reason either. The scams coming from Nigeria are the 3rd largest export industry in Afica, I had to look it up.

And more to that point, it's unusual that the OP has answered pretty much everyone except the questions about her fiance. She hasn't been back since another member pointed this out a couple of pages back. People on VJ generally want to look out for each other and this was concerning for the ones reading the thread, the single-minded "God will take care of everything" thought process, not ever meeting, or even being out of the country, this would raise suspicion from any country...

[Olomi_811 130]

Anything a person chooses to disclose or not answer about their significant other is their right to do so. Just like it's a person's right to share an opinion, but it's not your right to attack another's belief system.

And I wouldn't respond to what I've read here, because it looks like an attack, but she has logged into VJ.

KAL take what you need and throw the rest away.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Anything a person chooses to disclose or not answer about their significant other is their right to do so. Just like it's a person's right to share an opinion, but it's not your right to attack another's belief system.

And I wouldn't respond to what I've read here, because it looks like an attack, but she has logged into VJ.

KAL take what you need and throw the rest away.

From what I have read, no one is attacking her, especially not myself. People are trying to give her insight into her situation, if something isn't adding up and someone is bringing that to her attention then where is the harm in that?

No one is saying having religion is a bad thing. Heck I prayed to Allah every day 3 times a day when my wife was going through this process back in June. She is from a MENA country and I knew it was going to be a challenge. But with HIs grace, I made it through the entire process in 4 months, which I believe is practically unheard of. Now even though I give HIm his praise, it was I who called USCIS and NVC all the time, I kept my fingers on the pulse of my petition from conception to completion, and I made sure I followed the instruction to the letter. I didn't go "oh Allah has my back" and filed a petition with my fingers crossed and no documentation or proof of our marriage. From what I read, she tried to file hardship, but under what conditions? If there is a medical or financial reason for it then maybe, but I can't see them granting it under the notion you can't live without someone you have never met in the flesh.

The advice given here is what scammers typically do in most situations, the effects forum is practically overflowing with the same stories, met online, big age difference, met once and married, then it goes down hill from there. Now there are always exceptions to the rule, and everyone thinks this falls under their situation but as adults I know this is more not than often. If she falls into the above category, I see nothing wrong with people who are trying to stop a good person from going down a bad road giving their opinions. In the end it's her choice, I pray she makes the right one...

[happiestmanalive 23]

Remember Kal, you found VJ for a reason right? Whether a 'divine hand' brought you here or you found it by googling why your k1 didn't get approved and it was among the top choices because so many people use it, you should give all info you can so that the experts who have been through the process, been through the same experience, or have been around for a long time can help you through whatever it is you are going through or will be going through in the future. If you are serious about doing this right, work on your timeline and profile so you can be helped, study and learn all that you can.

[KAL 1]

Wouldn't it be hard to determine what is meant to be if one did not follow the instructional guidelines of the petition? KAL now understands that USCIS does not make exceptions and perhaps that was just 1 of the lessons she needed to learn. As she said she was trying to be obedient to her spiritual leader (I personally would be asking him for a refund). People are quick to say the person on the other end is scamming especially if they are Nigerian. Scammers aren't country specific.

KAL you should know if this is the man for you. If you are not sure, pray about it, ask for a sign, and wait for it. Your pastor and no one else can do that for you.

Thanks for saying that as soon as ppl hear Nigerian that is the first thing they think. There are good and bad everywhere. This is true since we did not meet all of the requirements no one can say it wasnt meant to be. Im not saying I don't have regrets because I do. I understand now, at the time I didnt know about VJ and you literally have to be on your death bed in order for the hardship waivers to be approved. I know this is the man for me. I have prayed and we will not give up. I have all the necessary sources for help and info now thank God. We will get approved the next time we file. Thanks again

[KAL 1]

First off, did you even read the instuctions to the I-129F petition? It clearly states that one of the requirements is that you must have met (physically) at least once within the past 2 years. You should never have filed in the first place. They didn't even look at any evidence you sent them once they saw that you had never met. I can't imagine what kind of proof you sent in for somebody you've never met. Most of us who met our fiancees usually has sme worries about having enough proof, but never meeting?

First of all, yes I did read the instructions, and they also clearly states if you had not met give reasons why. I had the same proof as everyone else except pictures. Are pictures the only way to prove a relationship. I had emails, chats, bday and vday cards and call records.

Nigeria is one of the top fraud countries. I assume you are now aware of this fact and you would still attempt to bring over a person who you have never met? I know you believe all that "God knows best" stuff, but you are setting yourself up big time. You seem to be a perfect mark; somebody who seems to be somewhat naive and blindly accepts whatever happens. If this guy plays you, you will probably be here telling us how it was God's plan.

Since joining VJ, I now know that Lago's is the hardest to go through. Yes I do believe God knows best, if you don't that's your oppinion. Im kind yes but never naive. I know my guy and you do, you are only judging him based on where he is from. I will not plead my case when I know my situaton.

How did you meet? Who made the first contact?

What kind of work does he do? Have you seen any proof? (I will not give my opinion on what I think he does for a living; yes, it's a generalization, but lets be real)

What is the age difference between you two? Are you fairly close in age or is he much younger? If the latter, that should be a red flag for you.

We met online, and unlike what you are probably thinking I made first contact. By stating the fact that you wont give me your opinion you have made it perfectly clear what you think. I know what type of work he does and its not what you are so gladly wanting to think. Everyone from Nigeria is not a bad person. I have said this before and I will continue to say it, THERE ARE GOOD AND BAD PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. Is Nigeria the only country capable of scamming people? I am a year older than him.

I already know that nothing anybody here says will change your mind (most people have to learn the hard way), especially since you think God will protect you, but I hope you are not back here in a year teling us how you were used.

You are right noone will change my mind, could anybody change your mind about the person you are with? By the way Im not most people, December will be 2yrs for us, and believe me even if someone tries to pretend to be someone else they will eventually show their true colors.

[KAL 1]

No one could've said it better. It is very unfortunate that genuinely kind people, such as the OP, end up being on the "victim end" of marriage scams. I really do hope she doesn't hit any of the red flags checklist; Well, she hasn't met his family, so there's one check.

age difference? I am one yr older

religion difference? both christians

kids? I have one child

previous marriages? nether one of us has ever been married

above poverty line remuneration? No

beneficiary friends and/or family live in the US? No

ability to communicate in the same language? yes we both speak English

Am I missing any other red flag?

To the OP: if any do have any of these red flags, you must then plan how to overcome them for the interview.

the only thing that was missing was the face to face time, and yes I do have regrets of course, I would be lying if I said I didnt, but that doesnt mean I will give up. Yes I am genuinely kind but never naive. I know the type of man I am involved in and as long as I know and God knows that's all that matters.

[KAL 1]

Also know that since a denial is on the books, you may have to go through extra efforts to prove your relationship is real.

We will be well prepared,since I now have the help of VJ and it's memembers. We will have no problem proving our relationship is real.

Yes, absolutely. Meeting in person and being free to marry are minimum requirements for getting a petition approved. An approved petition is not a visa. It's just something that happens BEFORE the foreigner applies for a visa. The foreigner must then convince a consular officer the relationship is genuine. That's where the red flags come in.

There are no red flags

[KAL 1]

Please note that Nigeria is the number 1 scam country. It is very easy for a man to sweetalk someone online. It is easy to profess love, and say nice things, like you are my queen, I am ready to marry you, I can't live without you, etc. Please don't become another victim of an immigration scam. The fact that you were willing to petition for someone you have never met indicates that you may be gullible, no offense. I hope your belief in God and the fact that you were denied will help you be more cautious, and take it as a sign from god that you need to be careful, and not rush things with someone you have never met, especially from a country known for defrauding good intentioned americans.

I know that scams take place everyday, everywhere. Yes it is very easy for someone to sweettalk someone online, but I am not gulliable, naive or dumb. 2yrs is not rushing, yes I know we didnt meet but now we will.

[KAL 1]

I like how you respond to the comments that tell you things you want to hear... but how about this one. The best so far.

I replied

Please please please, keep us updated on this. We want more info to help understand your situation. Answer this post's questions.

You all want to be updated to see if you will be able to say I told you so or to belittle me again. You don't want to understand my situation, you want to criticize me and my situation.

"First off, did you even read the instuctions to the I-129F petition? It clearly states that one of the requirements is that you must have met (physically) at least once within the past 2 years. You should never have filed in the first place. They didn't even look at any evidence you sent them once they saw that you had never met. I can't imagine what kind of proof you sent in for somebody you've never met. Most of us who met our fiancees usually has sme worries about having enough proof, but never meeting?

Nigeria is one of the top fraud countries. I assume you are now aware of this fact and you would still attempt to bring over a person who you have never met? I know you believe all that "God knows best" stuff, but you are setting yourself up big time. You seem to be a perfect mark; somebody who seems to be somewhat naive and blindly accepts whatever happens. If this guy plays you, you will probably be here telling us how it was God's plan.

How did you meet? Who made the first contact?

What kind of work does he do? Have you seen any proof?How did you meet? Who made the first contact?

What kind of work does he do? Have you seen any proof? (I will not give my opinion on what I think he does for a living; yes, it's a generalization, but lets be real)

What is the age difference between you two? Are you fairly close in age or is he much younger? If the latter, that should be a red flag for you.

I already know that nothing anybody here says will change your mind (most people have to learn the hard way), especially since you think God will protect you, but I hope you are not back here in a year teling us how you were used."

[KAL 1]

Please dont take the information you are getting here wrong no one is trying to hurt you or tell you that you are being scammed for sure. But you need to keep your eyes open going into this. You have no idea how stressful this process is if you are waiting to see if he has a temper you will definetly find out during this process you may even find a temper you have that you didnt know about. Dont ignore your red flags... Pay attention to what people are saying about them.... Even if he is totally 100% in love with you he is going to have to overcome those flags in the interview. You are dealing with Lagos they assume he is lieing and he has to prove he is not. Age difference is a big Red Flag I know for a fact because I am alot older than my husband so we both know that we have that battle ahead of us..Going there and seeing what it is like will help alot. I read on here from some one who was scammed into a fake marriage somethings you should pay attention to while your there. (Will he let you meet any of his family and friends, will he take you to where he lives or will you stay in a hotel far away from his neighborhood.. Is there a particular female that hangs around that may not be as friendly as the others (she could be the one he is trying to get a visa for)) Its fine to believe in God but you have to pay attention to the signs he gives you.. dont be the guy on the roof who drowns in a flood because he turned down help 3 times while waiting for God to save him... Listen to what people who have been there done that have to say and read read read... I wish you the best in your journey and many years of happiness... But be prepared cause even if he is perfect this is going to be a bumpy ride...

Thank you and I am taking in all the info, I just dont' appreciate how some members assume this is a scam just because of his location. My eyes and ears have been wide open since day one. Believe I do know how stressful this process is. I know he does not have a temper, we are both continuing to be patient. We don't have any red flags beside not having the face to face time. I couldn't agree with you more, there will be signs that people would unintentionally give and there has not been any whatsoever with him. I always pay attention and listen. I joined VJ to get more info and help with advice not to be deemed a victim in the making. I will continue to read and thank you and I wish you the same.