Miscarriage/spontaneous abortion from the past can affect interview??

[fira 0]

OK SO YOU DONT WANT TO TELL YOUR FIANCE NOW MY QUESTION IS, WAS IT HIS CHILD OR WAS YOU CHEATING? THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT CAUSE IF YOU SAY IN YOUR INTERVIEW THAT YOU JUST HAD A MISCARRIEAGE BUT YET YOU HAVE NOT SEEN YOU FIANCE IN A YEAR THEN THATS A PROBLEM.... JUST A THOUGHT AND SORRY IF OFFENDED YOU

it was before i met him.. and we are dating on that month but i dunno that im preggo from my ex then i bleed when i got home..i never told him about it before coz we just started to date..

[fira 0]

Not wanting to tell your fiance about a miscarriage means you're hiding something in your past other than the miscarriage. Does your fiance think you're a virgin? Did you get pregnant after meeting your fiance, and your fiance wasn't the father? Was the father another foreigner that you were previously dating?

Here's a scenario to ponder...

You come to the United States. You marry your fiance within 90 days. You file for your adjustment of status. You get selected for a green card interview. At the interview the IO is reading the results of your medical exam and says "So, you had a miscarriage on <date>?". You say yes. Your husband is dumfounded. The IO sees your husband's reaction, and realizes your husband didn't know anything about your previous pregnancy. The IO immediately separates you and your husband and calls another IO to assist. The two IO's now question you and your husband separately for more than two hours. The IO's switch places and repeat the questioning. In the end, you're told that you'll get a decision within 60 days. As you're leaving you realize the decision is probably not going to be good.

This is not how you want your green card interview to go. This is not how you want your fiance to find out about your previous pregnancy and miscarriage. This is not the sort of thing you keep secret from your future husband.

i really do have plan on telling him once i get there in US ,, but while im here and weare so far away its hard to have a very serious matter like this thru phone or skype..if it chnges his mind coz he thought all along that i never had baby then its fine,,i guess he is not the right guy for me.. but if he accepts me for what i am then i will be the happiest girl.. just a correction.. >>>>>>>>>> i didnt cheat and got prgnant.. it was a miscarriage before i met my husband and we started dating.. we are already dating but then i never thought that im pregnant then bleed a lot til i went to doctor for a checkup and they told me i had miscarriage.. i dont wnt to cause any trouble in my marriage in the future,.. and if the green card interviewer ask me about the miscarriage from the past which it was long time ago then i have to tell my husband about it before he finds out to other people.. but again i didnt had it while we were in a relationship .. it happen when we just met..

[fira 0]

no thats the only thing that i never told him.. he knows that im not a virgin , he really never ask me anything about the past.. but i told him everything even if he didnt ask.. except from that i had miscarriage before i met him from my ex bf..

i know you are all concern about my future marriage and relationship, but what if i plan to hide this forever..just in case i had my interview for the green card.. are they still going to open up the topic even its already in the past? it didnt happen when im still on a relationship with him but why would the hell they stillopen the topic from the past? thats why i want to find out here in this forum.if for some reasons that there will be a possibility that green card interview or CO will open up the topic about my past in which my fiance will know then i will plan on telling him before it happen.. but if CO or another interviewer would not open about those topics,then i will tell him after everything on the right time.. this thing stress me out a lot.. im so scared to ruin our relationship..i love him so much and the reason i dont wanna tell him yet is because i dont get any timing

[Fight for Love 98]

hi vj im new here..i finished my medical ysterday i think i passed coz i already got vaccine..im on k1 visa.. now my problem is.. when i had my medical on the physcal examination..the doctor ask me if i had a baby baby.i said none but i do have a miscarriage.. and she called it "spontaneous abortion" ..my question is, would this be a problem on my interview?? are the CO opening topics about abortion or can i fail my interview jst because i had miscarriage,coz they call it spontaneous abortion, what if they make an issue or ask some proofs that i didnt really abort and i just had miscarriage? has anyone here also had miscarriage but went fine in the interview,,and one more thing..my fiance doesnt know about my miscarriage in my past life and i dont have any plans on telling him since he never ask me too..are there any possibilities that he will know when im already in US? like do i have a follow up medical procedure in the US what if i get pregnant the ob will surely ask about everything.. but i can say i never had a baby if we went in diff doctor, but if its the same hospital or they have my records here in PHilippines then im toast!!

pls help me im so worried.. are the CO tackle issues like this in the interview?

miscarriage and abortion are totally waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy different...abortion when the mom plan to abort the baby..but miscarriage when it accidentally get abort...different kind of a reason why it happen...ONLY god knows why the baby didn't make it.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

miscarriage and abortion are totally waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy different...abortion when the mom plan to abort the baby..but miscarriage when it accidentally get abort...different kind of a reason why it happen...ONLY god knows why the baby didn't make it.

No they're really not. The problem is the incorrect use of the English language.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/abortion

The full term in relation to someone electing to end a pregnancy is "voluntary abortion". The OP had a "spontaneous abortion" which is the correct medical terminology for a miscarriage.

[fira 0]

No they're really not. The problem is the incorrect use of the English language.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/abortion

The full term in relation to someone electing to end a pregnancy is "voluntary abortion". The OP had a "spontaneous abortion" which is the correct medical terminology for a miscarriage.

yes i have miscarriage,,i just wanna know if the CO will ask about this.. are they going to ask so many things about the past? or just focus the interview with me and my fiance's relationship.. it was 2 years ago and we are not yet in areal relationship by that time that i found out i had miscarriage.. but then i didnt hav any chance of telling my fiance about it when we are already into real relationship..im just wondering if CO will open topic about the miscarriage,,as well as when i get there in the US.. im not goin to hide it to my future husband i am just getting the right time to tell him.i just dont want him to know from other people especially to the consul.. pls help

[Shiobhan 235]

If this was prior to this relationship . it was a miscarriage leave it alone,some ppl who have their many affairs dont reveal it to a new partner, no, most will not , dont have sleepless nights over this ;if it comes up just say in our past affair there was a failed pregnancy that U R hurt and embarrassed to discuss, Your past is the past, U murdered no one, NO ONE can judge U here, let it be, If THIS WAS B4 your present marriage.

[fira 0]

If this was prior to this relationship . it was a miscarriage leave it alone,some ppl who have their many affairs dont reveal it to a new partner, no, most will not , dont have sleepless nights over this ;if it comes up just say in our past affair there was a failed pregnancy that U R hurt and embarrassed to discuss, Your past is the past, U murdered no one, NO ONE can judge U here, let it be, If THIS WAS B4 your present marriage.

thank you so much jihana.. thats all i wanted to hear..i been having sleepless nights and stressful days because of this. coz what if the consul will make a big issue about this coz the miscarriage happen when im starting to chat with my fiance not yet in a relationship but simply chatting..until we were into intimate relationship,, til now he dont know about that matter about my past..and im scared that through embasy or consul he will find out..

[Rexnars aussie 0]

How can you even think about not telling him about your pregnancy? Any Dr can tell you have been pregnant before. You are starting a new life, why risk all that by not being totaly honest right from the start? He will find out so i think it will be so much easier to tell him now rather then have him find out later down the track and risk him feeling betrayed because you lied to him. Just because he hasn't asked doesn't make it right not to be honest from the begining... i wish you luck but feel you are making a terrible mistake by not being honest to the man you wish to spend the rest of your life with...

Edited July 28, 2012 by Rexnars aussie

[fira 0]

How can you even think about not telling him about your pregnancy? Any Dr can tell you have been pregnant before. You are starting a new life, why risk all that by not being totaly honest right from the start? He will find out so i think it will be so much easier to tell him now rather then have him find out later down the track and risk him feeling betrayed because you lied to him. Just because he hasn't asked doesn't make it right not to be honest from the begining... i wish you luck but feel you are making a terrible mistake by not being honest to the man you wish to spend the rest of your life with...

i will tell him when i get there.. not while im here ..its so hard to talk for a serious matter over the webcam.. and i am also scared.. my friend told me that there are things in our life from the past that we dont have to tell about our partner.. like how many guys you slept with , sometimes we alie about how many guys we really slept with..like honestly i have lots of girl friends and they all never tell "everything" about their past. i remmber my bestfriend she sleep with 20 guys but she told her boyfriend now that she only have 2 guys in the past.. because she is embarassed.. i dont really know what to do.. now this secret of mine really bothers me a lot.if i really have to tell him.. i will just pray for everything..

[Xanax 349]

Don't let people bully you into doing something. Do what's right for you. I personally do not condone hiding things but NO one bar you can tell you what is right for you.

Good luck OP, I know how hard this is.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Don't let people bully you into doing something. Do what's right for you. I personally do not condone hiding things but NO one bar you can tell you what is right for you.

Good luck OP, I know how hard this is.

It's not bullying when people are telling the OP the possible consequences of keeping this to herself, especially when there are government agencies involved throughout this process who could inform her fiancé as noted in the scenario Jim mentioned upthread. And, as we all know, there are only so many things we can control on this journey. Being fully informed of what could happen is in no way trying to coerce someone into doing something they don't want to do. Ultimately, it's up to the OP to make the decision and determine what's best for her situation.

[moroccogirlny 100]

I don't believe that USCIS has the right do disclose her medical information at an interview due to the The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). And if she were to seek any medical treatment in the USA she has the right to privacy, even from her husband unless she signs permission for him to know.

It's up to the OP to decide to tell him.

[Xanax 349]

I don't believe that USCIS has the right do disclose her medical information at an interview due to the The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). And if she were to seek any medical treatment in the USA she has the right to privacy, even from her husband unless she signs permission for him to know.

It's up to the OP to decide to tell him.

It's not bullying when people are telling the OP the possible consequences of keeping this to herself, especially when there are government agencies involved throughout this process who could inform her fiancé as noted in the scenario Jim mentioned upthread. And, as we all know, there are only so many things we can control on this journey. Being fully informed of what could happen is in no way trying to coerce someone into doing something they don't want to do. Ultimately, it's up to the OP to make the decision and determine what's best for her situation.

Exactly, it's up to her

People here as so quick to judge and harangue,OP has continually been defending herself. I hate seeing this on this forum.

Giving the OP in formation and help is one thing, trying to make her feel bad and telling her she must do something is another

** please note I never said one individual did or said anything wrong and I am not saying anyone is incorrect. OP has the factual information she needs I believe and the rest is just opinions.

Edited July 28, 2012 by Xanax

[LeftCoastLady 441]

I don't believe that USCIS has the right do disclose her medical information at an interview due to the The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). And if she were to seek any medical treatment in the USA she has the right to privacy, even from her husband unless she signs permission for him to know.

It's up to the OP to decide to tell him.

http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/faq/covered_entities/190.html