I guess I'm first - divorce and AOS

[russ 1]

I guess I'll be the first in here. This is what is going on.

Before her AOS, my wife got engaged to someone else. Her AOS didn't go well anyway, but the divorce basically ends that as an option for her.

After the divorce filing, she learned that it is not possible to adjust status based upon a new marriage. She also learned that a K-3 or IR-1/CR-1 would not necessarily work either. (No evidence of the relationship, since it was an affair, among other problems).

We are still married (at the moment), though she is not willing to do anything to try and continue the marriage. She was planning on getting married today, though asking for a continuance in our divorce prevented that.

I will not petition for another AOS for her in the US, as she is not willing to leave her boyfriend's house. I'm afraid that the odds of her being caught living there are too great. I'm not risking going to jail over any of this.

My condition for petitioning again for her adjustment of status is that it be and I-129f and I-130 filing, done from Moscow. And that she breaks off her engagement. And that we both leave for Russia immediately to do it. I can't imagine things will work out after this, but it feels exactly like fraud if she is not at least trying.

I'm now waiting on her answer about leaving in two weeks for Russia.

[broma25 2]

If she is engaged to somebody else whilst she is still married to you, why on earth would you want to take her to Russia and pursue her visa from there?

[Jasman0717 9]

If she is engaged to somebody else whilst she is still married to you, why on earth would you want to take her to Russia and pursue her visa from there?

[phatmadame81 0]

First off I am so sorry to hear what is going on SHE GOT ENGAGE BEFORE YOU GUYS WERE EVEN DIVORCE. Wake up and realize that she really was using you to get here. From reading your post you seem like a very nice personbut you have to stop being so in love with osmeone who really does not want to be with you. I do not want to seem/sound mean but you need to drop all contact with her, give her the divore and move on with your life.

Good luck on finishing this process-

[russ 1]

First off I am so sorry to hear what is going on SHE GOT ENGAGE BEFORE YOU GUYS WERE EVEN DIVORCE. Wake up and realize that she really was using you to get here. From reading your post you seem like a very nice personbut you have to stop being so in love with osmeone who really does not want to be with you. I do not want to seem/sound mean but you need to drop all contact with her, give her the divore and move on with your life.

Good luck on finishing this process-

Actually, she got engaged in less than a week of meeting someone while we were married.

I have tried dropping contact with her (restraining order), though she just broke it anyway. I really don't want to see her in prison. I filed for the divorce, she is the one who doesn't want it now. She asked for a fake marriage, money, a new apartment for her boyfriend, and of course immigration lawyers. They don't have any money and she quit working. As you can see, the divorce will be happening.

I had offered her the chance to go to Russia and talk things over (this would help her immigration case anyway, not being divorced) at the time I filed. I gave her a last chance to do this before the hearing. You are right though, it is a waste of time now.

She is not very stable, and I am mostly concerned about her trying to kill herself again.

[broma25 2]

She made her bed, now she has to lie in it. It's obvious you were used, i would break all contact and would certainly do no AOS for her, why would you want to tie yourself financially to a person who used you so blatantly.

[russ 1]

She made her bed, now she has to lie in it. It's obvious you were used, i would break all contact and would certainly do no AOS for her, why would you want to tie yourself financially to a person who used you so blatantly.

I is possible more of it stems from mental illness than anything else, but that really doesn't excuse any of this.

There is a 0% chance I will be doing anything related to an AOS while she is in the United States. Too many red flags for fraud.

It is very sad thinking about the things she gave up - she was studying at the University here and doing well. Going out of status ends this, along with driving (no license yet) and being able to work. Ultimately, she will need to return to Russia anyway.

I thought there was a chance that she would be able to talk things over in Russia. At least there, there is less risk to both of us legally. Assuming she made some effort to work things out, I would probably go along with the AOS there. In the end, a divorce would probably happen sooner or later anyway. At least she wouldn't have the legal problems with a green card.

Unless something changes drastically, I will expect the divorce to go ahead as planned here.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

You should take advice for an immigration lawyer.... but the bottom line is if you do anything to help her get a greencard either here in the states or in Russia knowing that she is only doing it for the greencard then you are helping her commit visa fraud...

You should get your divorce and move on with your life... let her worry about what she has to do...

Kezzie

[russ 1]

You should take advice for an immigration lawyer.... but the bottom line is if you do anything to help her get a greencard either here in the states or in Russia knowing that she is only doing it for the greencard then you are helping her commit visa fraud...

You should get your divorce and move on with your life... let her worry about what she has to do...

Kezzie

I do have an immigration lawyer - if I have any reason to believe she is only married for a green card I will not petition for one. That is why there is a 0% chance of this happening in the US. If we were coming back to the US, I would prefer to use an L-1 visa as the basis - since it isn't tied to marriage. She has had this option as well, but wasn't willing to wait for it in Russia.

It isn't a big deal for me to work in Russia, which is why I gave her the option of going there and working on her marriage.

As you can tell, the chances of this happening are nil.

I would guess I'll have the divorce in a few weeks. (She has already sworn an affidavit to the court admitting the facts of case, so it is a formality for it to go through now).

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is not any way things will work out.

[Fandango 1,440]

Russ, I'm sorry you're going thru this, but you need to focus on yourself and not your soon to be ex-wife's options for staying here.

[broma25 2]

I agree with Lisa, you need to focus on yourself and how you get through this. She unfortunately has made choices that put her in the situation she is in and that should not be your problem.

[russ 1]

I agree with Lisa, you need to focus on yourself and how you get through this. She unfortunately has made choices that put her in the situation she is in and that should not be your problem.

I know, it is hard taking all of this. Especially so quickly as well. After spending so much time and energy working to make our lives better over the last few years, it is hard to watch her trying to make things worse for both of us.

[PurrSuede 0]

I agree with Lisa, you need to focus on yourself and how you get through this. She unfortunately has made choices that put her in the situation she is in and that should not be your problem.

I know, it is hard taking all of this. Especially so quickly as well. After spending so much time and energy working to make our lives better over the last few years, it is hard to watch her trying to make things worse for both of us.

Trust me on this, Russ... it's not an easy thing to go through.. but once the ties are cut, there is life on the other side. And it's only a mark of how much you care for her that you even want to work things out at this point.

When our marriage was headed for the dumpster I even gave her the option of staying married for one more year to "work on the marriage/relationship" together, and file for removal of conditions/LPR at the end of one year.

She was having none of it and even tried to start a phony DV charge on me. I wasn't going to let that stick and have to deal with defending myself against those trumped-up allegations either. At that point I realized that any woman who wouldn't even want to TRY to work things out for one year wasn't someone that anything I did would ever work out with.

As I said, I've been in your shoes, maybe not exactly your circumstance, but again, let me say I'm sorry for the pain you're going through, it will be painful for a while, but sometimes there's a lot less pain dealing with it in the PAST than in the Present tense...

And I had invested a LOT of time, energy and money as well in trying to marry her (to begin with) as well as to make the marriage successful (buying a house, etc.), not to mention what I had to pay her just to be done with her (state support laws).

But the bottom line is I'm much better off away from such a woman.

Best wishes and best of luck.

-- Dan

Edited October 20, 2006 by PurrSuede

[russ 1]

I agree with Lisa, you need to focus on yourself and how you get through this. She unfortunately has made choices that put her in the situation she is in and that should not be your problem.

I know, it is hard taking all of this. Especially so quickly as well. After spending so much time and energy working to make our lives better over the last few years, it is hard to watch her trying to make things worse for both of us.

Trust me on this, Russ... it's not an easy thing to go through.. but once the ties are cut, there is life on the other side. And it's only a mark of how much you care for her that you even want to work things out at this point.

She was having none of it and even tried to start a phony DV charge on me. I wasn't going to let that stick and have to deal with defending myself against those trumped-up allegations either. At that point I realized that any woman who wouldn't even want to TRY to work things out for one year wasn't someone that anything I did would ever work out with.

-- Dan

[russ 1]

Trust me on this, Russ... it's not an easy thing to go through.. but once the ties are cut, there is life on the other side. And it's only a mark of how much you care for her that you even want to work things out at this point. She was having none of it and even tried to start a phony DV charge on me. I wasn't going to let that stick and have to deal with defending myself against those trumped-up allegations either. At that point I realized that any woman who wouldn't even want to TRY to work things out for one year wasn't someone that anything I did would ever work out with. -- Dan

I don't really want to work things out at this point, I gave her the option to try - since it is really the only good choice she has.

She tried a similar thing at the end too. Beating me up, strangling me, and trying to throw me down a flight of stairs. In front of several witnesses - who eventually stepped in when they saw what she was doing. She was almost arrested, I ended up with a restraining order against her. Since she was violating it, and I didn't want her to go to jail, I stupidly dropped it (against the advise of my lawyers).

She has threatened to have someone beat her up, go to the hospital, and claim it was me if I did not help her. This is another reason I can not have contact with her in the United States.