this process is upsetting me...

[thinkerlove0212 158]

Many women think by not working they are a burden to their husband, my Mother never worked and never thought she was a burden, she gave my father everything he needed to go to work and to succeed.

That is my husband told me, he always told me being a wife and help him everyday going to work, cook, clean doing the laundry is too much sacrifice.. He really appreciated that effort that i always do, I told him that's a wife responsibility to be ensured that her husband have a clean clothes, uniform going to work... I love that smile on his face, seeing me enjoying this marriage life and being his wife..

[Bria 0]

I know how you feel. This is why I am still outside the US waiting to be legal. I dont want to be a burden also, so what I did was just keep my job until the waiting process is over. I is really hard that we are apart during this process.

[modmodgirl 2]

We were getting frustrated too! Finally, we called the USCIS and asked them why the biometrics letter was taking so long, they sent out another request for us and then the letter came, biometrics done, and EAD arrived in one week. I suggest calling them and seeing what is holding up the process.

[Ms C 5]

May I suggest he puts you on his bank account and gets you a debit card so you can pay by yourself for some of the things? It's still not money you made but it will give you a little more independence. EAD should come soon, I just had mine approved and I applied in the same period you did.

[Lonelywithouthim 5]

According to your timeline you are only a week or two away from EAD. Relax a little and consider that he is not supporting you, you are married. You are both supporting each other. Money isn't the only way to support. I earn nothing at all and I have a daughter with me. My husband has a big commute of 4 hours each day and not a huge amount of money coming in. But I earn money negatively. In other words I do what I can to save from spending and I take some of the burdens for maintaining the household from his shoulders, he has more free time. I make sure he comes home to a tidy, serene home with a lovely meal ready. I send him to work with a home made lunch, I do what I can to make his days easier. He thinks that is worth alot more than the few dollars I could earn. Just something to think on...money is not always worth as much as we think it is.

So true :thumbs:

[kennym 275]

Patience Grasshopper...

Listen, you're in a partnership with your husband.. you may not be contributing financially, but that is not the only way to be a contributing member of a partnership.. Throughout your lives together, there will be plenty of opportunities to contribute in many ways... Your love for each other brings a lot to the table and you should never ever ever feel that you aren't contributing..

Now, that said, I can understand how dificult the waiting can be.. My wife also struggled with the feeling of not having a sense of identity... Something between being a "nobody" and being "nothing" but you should understand this; it will change very soon.. Boredom, loneliness in stange place; and many other emotions seem to over take you, but it's all part of the process and literlly thousands of people go through this every year.. you shouldn't let this get you down.. it (the process) has absolutely nothing to do with you personally.. So, use this time to study, find a church, go to the gym, organize the home, make yours.. Get to know your town, your nieghbors and so on..

Your EAD should arrive very soon.. and you'll be able to find a job to feel more human again.. But absolutely don't consider working illegally.. there is too much at stake..

Got it? Ok? Kapeesh? Understand? Comprende? Any Questions?

[Caryh 5,206]

Oh do you sound so much like my wife during that time. It was driving her crazy to wait, she was bored, and she felt like a burden. For me it was a wonderful time, I'd go home for lunch, dinner was almost ready when I got home, the home was always spotless, all the things I used to have to do alone were done. I'd tell her over and over, you're not a burden, I could live like this forever. But its not what made her satisfied. She also kept saying she wanted to work under the table, and I had to keep telling her no, its illegal, and we don't want to risk all we've gained. We'll wait and do it the legal way. Well that EAD/AP finally came and she was working in no time. Even the 3 or 4 weeks it took her to land a job drove her crazy, although she spent almost all day looking. Still she felt like a burden. She didn't want to do volunteer work either, for her it was about making some money.

Now she's working, comes home tired, we share the house work load, we share the cooking, we share everything actually. But she'll still look at her income, compare it to mine and then start talking about taking a second job. Dang work ethic is too strong sometimes in some Filipinas Ask your husband if he appreciates all you're doing now, I'm sure you're going to hear he does. Now actually start believing him when he says that. You'll be working soon enough and this time will seem so short afterwards. Its a special time, start seeing it that way, because it won't come back again. And I'll say it, but you're not going to believe me, You Are Not A Burden On Your Husband!

[rehtse 1]

hello everyone,

i came here in US by fiance visa last year and i thought that now I'm here, things go smoothly. My hubby and i filed for my AOS and EAD last May and till now there's no updates with my status after my biometrics. i can't do anything here, i feel like i'm stranded here; can't even look for a job because i'm not allowed yet. Feel so bad with my situation. My hubby is helping me to lessen my anxiety by gardening, designing woman's accessories, doing scrapbook etc... but i guess its not working anymore. whenever hubby and i go shopping, man!i feel so ashamed that he's getting stuffs for me; i wanna get it for myself and or get some presents for him and also if ever i wanna buy something i don't need to bother him . this is nuts!is there someone out there have the situation like mine? or anybody can at least share their experience how'd they handle this kind of situation? it'll be much better if they can tell me how am i going to get a job:) i really need to make money...

thanks!

ps

i wanna get a job (earn money) because i don't wanna be a burden for him especially now he got a problem at work

i love him so much and i just wanna help him...

We are in the same scenario! My I-94 expired last May and we are just in the process on adjusting my status since my husband had an accident 11 days after I arrived here in US and 4 months without income and now, Veterans is not paying 100% of his hospital bills. So I feel your burden of being stranded, can't work and earn money to pay those bills. This makes me insane! Just keep myself busy and help with household chores and church. I also thought about that under the table job but I realized it's not worth to risk yourself.

[TeddyHoney 42]

We filed Chie's AOS/EAD/AP on May 4th, 2012 (mailed on that day). She just received her combo EAD/AP card last Thursday July 26th, 2012. Don't know what date in May you actually mailed yours or what state you are from but maybe our dates/times suggest that yours should come any day now if it hasn't already.

[i'm-in-love 1]

Hi... we're still processing our papers for K1 visa now... and i can understand how u feel, feeling stuck there and no work, no income of ur own... i can suggest, y do u find an online job...

I've been working online for 4 yrs now and i could still myself working online when i get there... it will keep u busy and at the same time ul have income of ur own...

check out this site, its www.odesk.com ... its legit and not a scam....

good luck and hope ul find this info helpful...

yep i tried that, as a matter of fact i found an online job (earngreatnow dot com) but my hubby told me that all online jobs are scams...

[i'm-in-love 1]

That is my husband told me, he always told me being a wife and help him everyday going to work, cook, clean doing the laundry is too much sacrifice.. He really appreciated that effort that i always do, I told him that's a wife responsibility to be ensured that her husband have a clean clothes, uniform going to work... I love that smile on his face, seeing me enjoying this marriage life and being his wife..

i do the same... but i feel like i wanna help him more :l

[i'm-in-love 1]

May I suggest he puts you on his bank account and gets you a debit card so you can pay by yourself for some of the things? It's still not money you made but it will give you a little more independence. EAD should come soon, I just had mine approved and I applied in the same period you did.

yes i have my own debit card :l

[i'm-in-love 1]

Many women think by not working they are a burden to their husband, my Mother never worked and never thought she was a burden, she gave my father everything he needed to go to work and to succeed.

my husband doesn't really want me to work. He wants to be the provider, he even told me that go to work will be my choice because I'm not obligated to work to pay our bills. My husband is a great man and i love him so much. Anyway, I wanna work so that whenever buy a present for him or if i want to get personal stuffs for myself so that i do not need to bug him even though i have my own debit card. He's very supportive that i want to work.