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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Moldova
Timeline
Posted (edited)
  On 7/24/2012 at 10:37 PM, Confused 2 said:

Could it be post-partum depression + stress of immigration etc? Lot more women suffer from post-partum depression than people think and a lot of times it just goes un-noticed and untreated.

You should seriously contemplate this question, OP. This is an excellent point.

Have her hormones checked out. My friend's life has been a living hell since having a baby and it's due to hormonal imbalances. His wife had become a raging psychopath pretty much. Now she's back to normal and they're happy again.

(and...I know stuffing pills into someone isn't the cure-all for everything, but there are some natural foods/vitamins that she could possible take for a hormonal imbalance too)

Find out if it's a medical problem, and get counseling. Don't give up even though it's hard.

Edited by scott76

K1 Process -

1/30/12 - I-129F sent

2/2/12 - NOA1 Received (CSC)

2/3/12 - Visa App Fee Check Cashed

6/18/12 - NOA2 Email Received at 9PM MST

6/22/12 - NOA2 Letter Received in Mail

7/11/12 - NVC Received

7/13/12 - NVC Sent Case to Moldova Embassy

7/18/12 - Packet 3 dropped off to Embassy

7/19/12 - Packet 3 & 4 Instructions Received from Embassy

7/23/12 - Medical Exam Passed

7/27/12 - Interview

8/4/12 - POE Denver, CO

9/14/12 - Wedding #1 (Denver Courthouse)

9/17/12 - AOS/EAD sent

9/19/12 - AOS/EAD NOA1

10/23/12 - Biometrics

1/16/23 - AOS Interview

6/15/13 - Wedding #2 (Colorado)

6/22/13 - Wedding #3 (Moldova)

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Jamaica
Timeline
Posted

you all diverting from the main topic. there are alot of marriages between 2 USC that are as messed up as others, i just think that this family needs to go get counseling and i definitely recommend anger management for the wife of the USC. sound like she got some issues there dealing with, if that doesnt work, then its up to you all to decide what next to do. wishing you all the best going forward

AOS

10/16/2012 Mailed I-485, I-765, I-131
10/19/2012 NOA1
11/09/2012 Biometrics Apt @ 3pm
12/25/2012 EAD/AP Approval
01/05/2013 Received EAD/AP in mail

06/20/2013 AOS APPROVED!!!!!

LIFTING OF CONDITIONS

3/23/15 Mailed I-751

3/25/15 NOA1

3/28/15 NOA1 Received in the Mail

4/28/15 Biometrics Apt.

11/13/15 ROC Approved

11/18/15 Approval Letter Received

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline
Posted
  Quote
We're different people than we were before marriage...

I remember thinking these exact thoughts recently.. I wouldn't ever give relationship advise, but this is to let you know; my wife and went through some really rough times.. Some times, our fights were so bad, I figured I had made a terible mistake even though I knew my wife for a few years before we ever started dating, then dated for 2 years before starting the visa process..

The thing I am trying to say is; Cultural Adjustment and other emotional factors can make someone seem completely diferent. And we're clueless, because our conditioning as Americans makes us feel everyone is ready and anxious to come to the USA and be with rich americans.. But, that's not completely accurate..

It doesn't matter if the Beneficiary is from the USA, a dirt poor third world country, or any rich developed country, it's normal for a person (women especially) to want to be with someone who offers security and stability as well as feeling loved.. It doesn't matter where people are from.. Those are important factors to you, your wife and any normal person..

SO ask yourself before deciding you and your wife has changed;

  1. Does she feel emotionally secure?
  2. Does she feel supported?
  3. Does she feel loved?
  4. Does she feel free to chase her dreams?
  5. Does she feel hopeful of a future with stability, security and love?
  6. Does she feel you support her hopes and dreams?
  7. Is there anything you are doing to make her feel insecure?
  8. Is there anything you are doing to make her feel unsafe?
  9. Is there anything you are doing to make her feel unappreciated?

I don't think we should ever fault anyone who enters enter into a relationship with a person for chance at a better life.. As long as love is part of it; people pursue opportunities for a better life all the time.. I personally feel that people often enter any relationship with the hopes that there is a better life in store... You can characterize however you want, but this is normal anywhere in the world...

So if you understand that, becoming a better husband is easier..

Posted

IMO do not allow her to go back to her country. Separation will not be good for your future. We will not even talk about your child going as this is a no-no, a BIG no-no. Unless you want to risk never seeing your child again.

Listen, all but her throwing things and possible violance is all apart of growing together as a couple. What you need to do is refrain from getting emotional when she does. One party needs to stay calm or all hell will break lose. Use your child as being innocent and you do not want emotional damage him/her by your loud fighting. I am only a believer of counseling if both parties are willing to go. If you want counseling and she doesn't then you're wasting your money. Is there a church you can attend together then go that route. Most churches will have small groups that will assist you. No one is perfect so attending these churches that focus on small groups will be very beneficial for you both. Your issues with the exception of the loudness and throwing things is normal in marriages when you begin. I just pick arguments with my fiancee now to prepare us for our life together ;) lol.

I will reiterate again, do not let her go as you may be kissing your marriage goodbye. Separation will not help normally.. It cost me one before. Good Luck

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline
Posted
  On 7/25/2012 at 1:06 AM, djricky4 said:

you all diverting from the main topic. there are alot of marriages between 2 USC that are as messed up as others, i just think that this family needs to go get counseling and i definitely recommend anger management for the wife of the USC. sound like she got some issues there dealing with, if that doesnt work, then its up to you all to decide what next to do. wishing you all the best going forward

Be careful with Marriage counseling.. The wrong counselor can make things worse.. true fact...

Use your head; you love your wife and value your relationship; you do what you have to to fix the problems.. Personal soul searching, personal growth, look at yourself before blaming your wife... Not say that there isnt fault with your wife, but something is making her feel insecure.. look hard, and figure out what it is... Make sure she knows she's important to you and it's important to you to understand the problems...

Filed: Timeline
Posted
  On 7/25/2012 at 1:13 AM, kennym said:

Be careful with Marriage counseling.. The wrong counselor can make things worse.. true fact...

Use your head; you love your wife and value your relationship; you do what you have to to fix the problems.. Personal soul searching, personal growth, look at yourself before blaming your wife... Not say that there isnt fault with your wife, but something is making her feel insecure.. look hard, and figure out what it is... Make sure she knows she's important to you and it's important to you to understand the problems...

I concur, and from personal experience.

I personally don't see the usefulness of a counsellor.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline
Posted
  On 7/25/2012 at 2:17 AM, Gowon said:

I concur, and from personal experience.

I personally don't see the usefulness of a counsellor.

Then you haven't been to a good counselor :)

We became a couple : 2011-05-29
I visited him : 2011-10-28 - 2011-11-17
He visited me (and my crazy family) : 2012-02-05 - 2012-02-17
I-129F Sent : 2012-02-05
I-129F NOA1 : 2012-02-14
I entered on VWP to stay 3 months: 2012-04-11 - 2012-07-03
---
Went to get my medical done for interview in Australia (much cheaper in the US and I was already here):2012-05-20
Medical issue diagnosed
K-1 petition cancellation request sent to CSC : 2012-06-01
Married: 2012-06-21
Filed for AOS : 2012-08-08
NOA1 : 2012-08-10
Biometrics : 2012-09-14
EAD approved : 2012-10-16
Applied for SSN : 2012-11-01
Received SSN : 2012-11-13
Received interview notice :2012-12-27
Interview- APPROVED :2013-01-28
Green card received :2013-02-04
Baby girl born :2013-03-09

Filed for ROC :2014-12-05
NOA :2014-12-11
Biometrics : 2015-01-15

ROC Approval : 2015-05-14

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Cyprus
Timeline
Posted

http://ct.counseling.org/2011/07/cross-cultural-counseling-of-recent-immigrants/

Found the link above, not sure how to get their contact info on locations of possible counselors who specialize in cross cultural counseling.

  Reveal hidden contents

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Never had a marriage counselor, but did use family counseling with my children when our oldest child was murdered. I interviewed many of these counselors and most scared the hell out of me, so when looking, talk first, get comfortable with them first and then only after that make your choice. Some only wanted to experiment with us. Very very scary.

January 15, 2012 met on line

April 18, 2012 met in person in Cebu

April 20, 2012 proposed

May 28, 2012 filed K1

June 6, 2012 received email K1 accepted.

August 28, 2012 NOA2 approved!!!!!!!

September 21, 2012 went back for vist number 2

Had a wonderful time!

Interview set for November 6

Flying out November 3 to be together

Arrived November 4

November 6, 2013 interview and approved

November 14, 2013 picked up visa!

November 29, 2013 arrived in Anchorage

November 30, 2013 applied for marriage license

December 15, 2013 civil wedding

February 16, 2013 AOS filed

February 23, 2013 NOA 1 reviewed

April 4, 2013 Biometric appointment

May 9, 2013 AOS intervie

May 9, 2013 Approved ap, ead and green card

May 18, 2013 received Green Card, EAD and AP in mail

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
Posted (edited)
  On 7/24/2012 at 8:43 AM, Between said:
I discovered that she has a very short and hot temper [...] and once she's mad, it takes a very long time for her to get over it.
This is a fundamental personality characteristic that's crucial within a relationship. All reasons, excuses, and hindsight aside, you didn't really know her.
  Quote
Tonight, she got mad over a perceived slight to the point that in addition to her usual drama of screaming and cursing at me loudly enough that the neighbors call to ask if we're okay, she threw things at me, and threw porcelain down the stairs, shattering it.
Having learned the hard way during the first blessedly brief marriage, I vowed to myself that if anyone EVER again threw anything at me in anger, the relationship was immediately and permanently over.
  Quote
Obviously, this is getting into the realm of domestic violence/abuse
What's with the sugar-coating, "getting into the realm of"?
  Quote
and I'm worried about what might happen to our baby if my wife is mad and not thinking straight. This is hardly the first time I've seen her temper
You've answered your own question. Screw her hormones and every other excuse that one could concoct, 100%. Screw them! The wife IS mad (in both senses) and is NOT thinking straight, period. A 6-month-old baby is completely helpless. You need to show it a father's love by removing it from the ever-present danger, with help from a nanny who can offer love and bottle-feeding when you yourself can't be there.
  Quote
I've certainly thought long and hard about whether this is going to work out for us, but I really want it to
Excusing the inexcusable.
  Quote
refuse to support removal of conditions
Excellent idea, si man.
  Quote
I'm kind of wondering whether there are family and marriage counselors [...] or anger-management classes for immigrants...
(You're "kind of" wondering?) No amount of counseling or anger-management can reform or change someone who has a volatile or violent temper. Many others of us have married ####### like this. Cut your losses, and save your baby.

Edited to add: In contrast to your thread's title, you are NOT different people now than you were before marriage. You didn't really know her true temperament.

Edited by TBoneTX

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

She lacks social network to help her and with a 6 mo old baby she may very well be sleep deprived and too tired. A clueless husband who's gone a lot wonders in, steps on wrong tows and gets yelled at and, if not getting any wiser, gets thrown things at.

She probably can't even think to divorce, as she never worked in the US and so may not believe to be able to support herself, add to that immigration status and issues with not being able to go to her home country (with a baby).

Big question here, is what was thrown and if OP is afraid of her. If she threw a ball of paper or a pillow, it's one thing. If it was a knife, entirely another.

Being hot of temper, she may not be a threat, but if she's a homicidal maniac, then she's a threat no matter her size. OP may know what she is, but I doubt anyone here can.

CR-1 Timeline

March'07 NOA1 date, case transferred to CSC

June'07 NOA2 per USCIS website!

Waiver I-751 timeline

July'09 Check cashed.

Jan'10 10 year GC received.

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline
Posted
  On 7/25/2012 at 4:06 AM, revtech100 said:

Never had a marriage counselor, but did use family counseling with my children when our oldest child was murdered. I interviewed many of these counselors and most scared the hell out of me, so when looking, talk first, get comfortable with them first and then only after that make your choice. Some only wanted to experiment with us. Very very scary.

My deepest heart felt condolences to you. I was on the bus catching up to my VJ emails and read this. And your post and the OP's just brings it home that we are all real people with real feelings trying to do the best we can and be loved and respected through it all. WOW.

Case Complete to Interview spreadsheet

From now on your VJ Member name will be verified. If the name you put on form to be added to spreadsheet comes up not found, you will not be added to the spreadsheet. If you don't have a timeline you will not be added to the spreadsheet.

Please Please put your VJ member name only. Not nicknames or real names whatever your VJ name is. It's below your profile picture!!

 

Come join the current Interview thread: 

DQ-to-Interview-2023-all-countries

Case Complete to Interview Spreadsheet
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ROC I-751
5/21/2018: Filed i751 ROC
6/12/2018: NOA1 Date
3/5/2019: Biometrics Appt
12/28/2019: 18 month Extension has expired
1/9/2020: InfoPass Appt to get stamp in Passport
2/27/2020: Combo Interview (ROC and Citizenship)
3/31/2020: submitted service request for being pass normal processing time
4/7/2020: Card being produced
4/8/2020: Approved
4/10/2020: Card mailed
4/15/2020: 10 year green card received
 
 
N-400
5/21/2019: Filed Online
5/21/2019: NOA1 Date
6/13/2019: Biometrics Appt
2/27/2020: Citizenship Interview
4/7/2020: In queue for Oath Ceremony to be scheduled
6/19/2020: Notice Oath Ceremony scheduled
7/8/2020: Oath Ceremony (Houston)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
Posted
  On 7/25/2012 at 2:30 AM, Xanax said:

Then you haven't been to a good counselor :)

:whistle::thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

K1 Guides and Info

K1 AOS Guide

Link for Rio de Janeiro Consulate's instructions for K1 Visas. They give you this link instead of a packet 3. Everything you need for interview in Rio is here. Boa Sorte

 
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