Destination Wedding, Court House only or Real Wedding?

[Joanne n Thanh 0]

I'm in a dilemna & seeking opinion. This is my 1st marriage, 2nd for him. What is people's intake on a destination wedding to say Hawaii or Las Vegas or California.. I am kinda against the court house wedding. Will I regret doing a court house signing papers because I don't get the "walk down aisle" and "bride". I'd like to be able to wear a wedding gown and I'm not into court house now, wedding later. I want 1 wedding date, not various dates. If we do a real local wedding in Seattle, it would be family only, about 100 guests. I am at the NOA2 of my K-1 Fiance Visa and wanting to marry ASAP when I get into the States so I can apply for EAD & AP (90+ yr old Grandparents).

Siiigh! Decisions..

[amykathleen2005 441]

I would say that the wedding itself is not too difficult to plan to move around the dates. If you have a flexible minister you shouldn't have a problem and if you are mostly a do if yourselfer you shouldn't have too much of a problem with the actual wedding. It is the reception that get people because that needs to be booked early. My husband and I had a short wedding in a church and then everyone went to a restaurant with a party room. Not a real reception, but still nice and easy to pull off.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I'm in a dilemna & seeking opinion. This is my 1st marriage, 2nd for him. What is people's intake on a destination wedding to say Hawaii or Las Vegas or California.. I am kinda against the court house wedding. Will I regret doing a court house signing papers because I don't get the "walk down aisle" and "bride". I'd like to be able to wear a wedding gown and I'm not into court house now, wedding later. I want 1 wedding date, not various dates. If we do a real local wedding in Seattle, it would be family only, about 100 guests. I am at the NOA2 of my K-1 Fiance Visa and wanting to marry ASAP when I get into the States so I can apply for EAD & AP (90+ yr old Grandparents).

Siiigh! Decisions..

My Ex was forever resentful for not getting the walk down the aisle wedding. I was practical and instead used the saved funds to get us into an investment proeprty, worked out for me since we later divorced

If you are in a financial position to afford the wedding and the AOS then go for it.

I'm still practical and will do a court wedding and a reception/deremony at an outdoor botanical garden with a few inner circle friends, maybe 50 or so. In a few years we'll go to the old country to do a ceremony over there so that there's noneed for visa/travel issues/stress for family there.

Good luck.

[Caryh 5,206]

Its doable, but you need to move fast, work hard and be flexible. One thing that helped was there is a wedding chapel at the Mall of America, which made our wedding part easy. My wife brought a wedding dress we had made in her country and a Barong Tagalog for myself, so our clothing was handled. Brides maids dresses where a pain to pick out since everyone had to agree, but we managed that in a very long day of running around. We bought something off the rack that could easily be used again, but made the brides maids look wonderful. The reception was a bit tougher. But we found a hotel with a bar and restaurant and an open room. We got the room for the catering price, and the meal was served buffet style. They also have a band on weekend evening in the bar, so we did not need to book our own entertainment. Everyone just moved to bar later on during the reception. BTW we were married 5 weeks after her arrival, so we managed to put this all together very fast and we had around 60 or 70 guests at the reception. The wedding was a bit smaller with about 30 people attending, but the wedding chapel wasn't really very large.

This was our real wedding set up in just weeks. It wasn't perfect, rehearsal time was too short, but it was memorable and meant more to us than a court house wedding would have.

Edited July 23, 2012 by Caryh

[Calypso 464]

Here's a similar thread where you can pick up a few other ideas for your wedding http://www.visajourn...to-get-married/

Its doable, but you need to move fast, work hard and be flexible. One thing that helped was there is a wedding chapel at the Mall of America, which made our wedding part easy. My wife brought a wedding dress we had made in her country and a Barong Tagalog for myself, so our clothing was handled. Brides maids dresses where a pain to pick out since everyone had to agree, but we managed that in a very long day of running around. We bought something off the rack that could easily be used again, but made the brides maids look wonderful. The reception was a bit tougher. But we found a hotel with a bar and restaurant and an open room. We got the room for the catering price, and the meal was served buffet style. They also have a band on weekend evening in the bar, so we did not need to book our own entertainment. Everyone just moved to bar later on during the reception. BTW we were married 5 weeks after her arrival, so we managed to put this all together very fast and we had around 60 or 70 guests at the reception. The wedding was a bit smaller with about 30 people attending, but the wedding chapel wasn't really very large.

This was our real wedding set up in just weeks. It wasn't perfect, rehearsal time was too short, but it was memorable and meant more to us than a court house wedding would have.

You both look lovely, Cary and Junacel.

It's good to see someone wear a barong, too. How did you like it? Was it made of pineapple leaf fabric or something else?

[LeftCoastLady 441]

We're planning to do a very small -- likely under 30 people -- wedding. At first, we thought about doing the courthouse thing and then going out to dinner, but after thinking about it more, it no longer appealed to us. Because my fiancé will *fingers and toes crossed* arrive in October, scheduling anything outdoors was a no-go since it's too iffy in PDX unless I'd want to wear a lovely REI or LLBean rain jacket over my dress.

Since we can't reserve anything just yet, I've just given the vendors a tentative date with the "this is subject to change" caveat. So far, everyone's been great and very understanding when I've met with them. I've been in touch with a couple of venues with private rooms that would allow us to have a short wedding ceremony and then spend the rest of the time eating/spending time with our friends. Through the magic of serendipity, I managed to stumble upon an officiant who is originally from the UK and married an American...so she knows what we're enduring right now. I met with a photographer who also has experience in working with couples going through the visa process and has been incredibly awesome so far in keeping her schedule open as much as possible.

As long as you're open with the vendors about not being able to sign anything (unless it includes the ability to move dates), you should be able to find folks who will work with you. It will benefit them as well since you'll leave glowing reviews on Yelp, etc.

[aaron2020 11,651]

You can never be sure when you will get your visa because of an unforeseen delay.

Planning a big wedding with a short time frame will be expensive. Lots of places are reserved months (if not a year) in advance.

If your visa doesn't come in time, you will pay a lot of money to move it. And there is no guarantee you will be able to move it to a day you want.

Ther is also the cost of your adjustment where you will not be working for at least 2-3 months. Also, there is no guarantee you will find a job.

Lots of expenses and a possibility of more if you need to move the wedding.

What happen to all those destination wedding guests if you don't have your visa? They may not be able to reschedule work or their flights. Will you pay for their additional expenses if you reschedule your wedding?

Read the cautionary tales on this forum about visa delays and missed weddings.

The US government advise people not to make expensive plans before getting a visa for a reason. A visa is never guarantee by a certain date. The US Embassy will not expedite your visa just because you have a wedding planned.

What is more important to you - a big wedding or a marriage without expensive headaches? A wedding is a single day. Since money is the number one problem in a marriage, you might want to reconsider. A marriage will last a lot longer.

Advice from a much older guy who wished he had used the money for a big wedding for a house deposit. My marriage and the peace of not fighting over money is what keeps me and mine together. We look back at our wedding with fond memories but wished we had spent the money more wisely to secure our future together. Also, we don't even talk or have contact with a large portion of our wedding guests (former coworkers and acquaintances). It should have been less about the party and more about us starting a marriage on good financial grounds without the debt of a big wedding. After 8 years of marriage, the wedding wasn't quite a big deal to us. It's the every day things that matters to us.

Edited July 23, 2012 by aaron2020

[Caryh 5,206]

Here's a similar thread where you can pick up a few other ideas for your wedding http://www.visajourn...to-get-married/

You both look lovely, Cary and Junacel.

It's good to see someone wear a barong, too. How did you like it? Was it made of pineapple leaf fabric or something else?

The barong so beats a tux for comfort. I've worn a tux enough times to realize I'd rather wear the barong. It was the traditional pineapple woven fabric, so a bit pricey as I've heard fewer and fewer people actually know how to make it. I told Juna that I'd like it if we could mix some of her traditions with ours in the USA. The issue of barong or tux, I left for Juna to decide, and I was really glad she chose the barong. She wants to see me in a tux one day I think, but decided for our wedding the barong was what she wanted me in. It made an impression with all my American friends to. We also brought in the coin ceremony. We had to get that part of the ceremony to the minister ahead of time, so he could know what to say. It was a little messed up, but we were happy to have it in there. I think we spent a solid day chasing down coins that would work. Found them at the same place we found the candle we wanted. What surprised me was how much people are expecting you to order and wait for many of the little items you need for a wedding. As time was short, we spent a lot of time driving around searching.

What was really almost a disaster was Juna's dress. She brought it with after having it made in the Philippines, but it was packed up until about a week before the wedding. We took it out and the petty coat no longer held the dress out. It had crushed down and we had no time to get it fixed or replaced. I actually went to a hardware store, bought plastic tube and sewed it into the dress to create hoops. We also needed to hem the dress as it no longer fell to the proper length. Poor Juna was so frustrated she said we should just get married in jeans But I knew how much that dress meant to her, and with a little out of the box thinking we fixed it. Both the barong and dress need to cross the ocean again for our second wedding when we get back to the Philippines. We had a minister here, as we both wanted a religious ceremony, but we'd still like a Catholic ceremony there with her family and friends in attendance.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Cary, that's so awesome that you two were able to make it all work. Very clever on re-fluffing the petticoat!

[Calypso 464]

What was really almost a disaster was Juna's dress. She brought it with after having it made in the Philippines, but it was packed up until about a week before the wedding. We took it out and the petty coat no longer held the dress out. It had crushed down and we had no time to get it fixed or replaced. I actually went to a hardware store, bought plastic tube and sewed it into the dress to create hoops. We also needed to hem the dress as it no longer fell to the proper length. Poor Juna was so frustrated she said we should just get married in jeans But I knew how much that dress meant to her, and with a little out of the box thinking we fixed it. Both the barong and dress need to cross the ocean again for our second wedding when we get back to the Philippines. We had a minister here, as we both wanted a religious ceremony, but we'd still like a Catholic ceremony there with her family and friends in attendance.

It's good to know that you found a quick solution. It would be easier to make cheap last minute adjustments in the Philippines, especially when there's a mananahi (seamstress) in the neighborhood, and of course there are households that still hide an old sewing machine somewhere. Btw, where is Juna from? I grew up in Cebu City. My husband wants us to have a second wedding in Bohol. I brought him there when we visited the PH together this year and he loves the island because of the prolific dive sites.

[Caryh 5,206]

It's good to know that you found a quick solution. It would be easier to make cheap last minute adjustments in the Philippines, especially when there's a mananahi (seamstress) in the neighborhood, and of course there are households that still hide an old sewing machine somewhere. Btw, where is Juna from? I grew up in Cebu City. My husband wants us to have a second wedding in Bohol. I brought him there when we visited the PH together this year and he loves the island because of the prolific dive sites.

Juna is from Davao City. I like Bohol to, partly for the same reason. Oh I know dealing with the dress issue would have been so much easier there. Here I had no idea where to find someone to fix what we needed in so short of notice.

[X Factor 1,112]

Its doable, but you need to move fast, work hard and be flexible. One thing that helped was there is a wedding chapel at the Mall of America, which made our wedding part easy. My wife brought a wedding dress we had made in her country and a Barong Tagalog for myself, so our clothing was handled. Brides maids dresses where a pain to pick out since everyone had to agree, but we managed that in a very long day of running around. We bought something off the rack that could easily be used again, but made the brides maids look wonderful. The reception was a bit tougher. But we found a hotel with a bar and restaurant and an open room. We got the room for the catering price, and the meal was served buffet style. They also have a band on weekend evening in the bar, so we did not need to book our own entertainment. Everyone just moved to bar later on during the reception. BTW we were married 5 weeks after her arrival, so we managed to put this all together very fast and we had around 60 or 70 guests at the reception. The wedding was a bit smaller with about 30 people attending, but the wedding chapel wasn't really very large.

This was our real wedding set up in just weeks. It wasn't perfect, rehearsal time was too short, but it was memorable and meant more to us than a court house wedding would have.

Caryh and Junacel - awesome. Thanks for sharing your special moment with us.

[Joanne n Thanh 0]

Thank you for everyone's kind words of wisdom!

I have talked to the restaurant we are tentatively booking. And yes, no dates have been confirmed. Because it will be Fall/Winter now, they are NOT booked, making this much simplier! And getting an awesome deal on the Chinese restaurant too!

Flowers - thinking of doing whatever is the "pick of the season" at the Pike Place Market - cheap & beautiful, locally grown too!

Wedding dress - already bought it, just need to make some minor adjustments

Bridesmaid dresses - bought for cheap already, ready to go!

Tux - will be rented

Invitations - will be a Do-It-Yourself before I move

Officiant - my best friend is getting licensed, if not.. we'll book someone in Seattle at a closer date!

Ceremony - looking for a garden-type setting or something "wow" in the Fall/Winter season still

It'll be 80-120 guests, fairly small. We both come from rather large families but with the possible short notice, my family in Canada will have a harder time attending, therefore will be a big difference in # attending. Limited friends, no acquitances. Basically family.

I'm not expecting anything fancy. I just don't want to regret not having a proper wedding. I'd rather have a small and simple wedding than no wedding!

[Caryh 5,206]

Thank you for everyone's kind words of wisdom!

I have talked to the restaurant we are tentatively booking. And yes, no dates have been confirmed. Because it will be Fall/Winter now, they are NOT booked, making this much simplier! And getting an awesome deal on the Chinese restaurant too!

Flowers - thinking of doing whatever is the "pick of the season" at the Pike Place Market - cheap & beautiful, locally grown too!

Wedding dress - already bought it, just need to make some minor adjustments

Bridesmaid dresses - bought for cheap already, ready to go!

Tux - will be rented

Invitations - will be a Do-It-Yourself before I move

Officiant - my best friend is getting licensed, if not.. we'll book someone in Seattle at a closer date!

Ceremony - looking for a garden-type setting or something "wow" in the Fall/Winter season still

It'll be 80-120 guests, fairly small. We both come from rather large families but with the possible short notice, my family in Canada will have a harder time attending, therefore will be a big difference in # attending. Limited friends, no acquitances. Basically family.

I'm not expecting anything fancy. I just don't want to regret not having a proper wedding. I'd rather have a small and simple wedding than no wedding!

Sounds like you have made good headway on throwing the wedding with short notice! I'd be a bit nervous about planning an outdoor wedding given the time of year and Seattle weather. Or at least make sure there's a covered area you can quickly move to if needed. Our invitations were actually on Facebook, with some direct word of mouth for those few that were not on facebook. Saved a little money and got the word got out faster to. My family is super small, and her's were on another continent, so we had mainly friends.

[happiestmanalive 23]

My fiance and I are getting married in Hawaii. She has been married once before and I want this one to be better () So a destination wedding was what I had in mind. If you go to http://www.wedhawaii.com/ you can find extremely cheap ceremony prices and they take care of everything. Also they work with your schedule and are very flexible. Only 1 more month until we get to tie the knot!

Whatever you choose I hope its a good one!