vawa or divorce waiver?

[needhope 0]

Hi all

Ive been reading vawa and divorce posts for the past two days here and would like to say that it has given me a lot of hope and courage to move on. The past year has not been easy to say the least.. adjusting to a new country while dealing with an insane spouse has drained me emotionally and physically. Knowing that I have more battles up the road is paralyzing and I am not sure which would be the best and less painful for me, especially since my self esteem is close to zero right now.

I would like to get some advise in getting this right, maybe it is just because my head is exploding with so much information ...but it seems to me that the 175 divorce waiver option is shorter and quicker than vawa? (as for now we are separated and have not started divorce proceedings yet) should I wait after divorce to remove conditions, that way I will not have to deal with the abuse all over again, on the other hand I do not know how long the divorce can take....(conditional GC expires in one year). Would appreciate any advise.

can anyone recommend probono attorney/therapist in NJ?

Thanks

[Anh map 2,098]

New Jersey is a big state. You'd be better served to do some investigating in your area with local charities, advocacy groups to find a family law attorney and / or any other aid.

Obtain the divorce and then you can apply to remove conditions on your GC. Divorce has to happen first.

[needhope 0]

Thanks

After giving it more thought, I think if I wait till divorce is complete to apply for waiver, I will still remain in a situation where I am in "his hands" meaning he could get the divorce to take long and I will actually be at his control and stressed again. where as if I go with vawa, though I have to deal with the abuse , I will not be subject to his manipulations anymore, as far as immigration is concerned, and could deal with the divorce without that pressure, one less thing he will have power over me I assume. I hope that what I assume is correct, meaning I got the right info regarding the two options I have? Thanks for any input

[Sandra G. 5,047]

to file I-751 waiver YOU MUST BE DIVORCED. In NJ if he didn't contest the divorce will be finalized in 2/3months.To file for Vawa you must have proof of the abuse(mental or physical).To proof mental abuse you need to show EXTREME MENTAL ABUSE and send psychological evaluation as well.If you suffered physical abuse you should send copy of police report, shelter, pictures of the violence,hospital report etc...You don't need to be divorced to file Vawa. You are a green card holder already then you SHOULD NOT FILE I-360, but I-751 based in extreme cruelty ok. I-751 based in violence takes around 10months.

Edited July 22, 2012 by sandranj

[needhope 0]

Thank you Sandranj!

What do you mean by extreme mental abuse?

[Anh map 2,098]

Sort out the immigration later. Divorce and safety are first order of business.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

You need to show that your husband had abusive behavior toward you such as degrading you,terrorizing,isolating,jealousy,threat,possessiveness,manipulating,neglecting you etc... for an extended period of time and because of that you suffered mental abuse over and over. Usually the symptoms are depression,several anxiety,emotional instability,fearfulness,low self esteem etc...I saw several Vawa denied because USCIS didn't consider mental abuse some behaviors inflicted, for example a husband drinks,comes home start yelling, breaking things... well despite this kind of behavior is not acceptable they don't call "mental abuse" .

I saw several cases where the husband never filed AOS and they are married five, seven, ten years, the wife couldn't leave the house,visit friends, bring friends over, talk with the family by phone, go to the doctor,humiliated the wife in front of others,often checking the wife's email ,monitoring what the wife was doing all the time,constantly telling the wife she was inferior,not allowing the wife to have any money,bank account, etc...these behaviors are called extreme mental abuse.

[needhope 0]

thanks

where would be a best place to search for a pro bono attorney help?

[bigdog 376]

Check with your local court house or family advocate group. I agree with Anh Map, get to safety apply for divorce.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

http://www.justice.gov/eoir/probono/states.htm