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http://www.scrippsnews.com/node/14969

Mail-order brides in an Internet age

Commentary

By BONNIE ERBE

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Let's not just make it tougher for American men to hook up with "mail order brides" over the Internet and import them, let's ban the practice altogether.

In one of the more laudable acts of his tenure in the White House, President Bush earlier this year signed into law the "International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005" or IMBRA. The law imposes some tough restrictions on men seeking to import wives. Some of the men complain the law presumes all such American men are abusers.

But I say the mere act (to wit, the bizarre act) of deciding to marry someone from a foreign country who is just about guaranteed to be less well educated and a lot less well off financially, creates such an incurably unhealthy imbalance of power in the union, even horrifically burdensome regulation won't suffice.

The law requires before any foreign woman's contact information is sold (by an Internet marriage broker) to an American man, he must disclose his criminal and marital background. It also requires the agency brokering such relationships to obtain the man's record from the National Sex Offenders Public Registry database, translate it into the woman's native language and give her a copy.

An Internet search for the words, "mail order brides abuses" brings up articles entitled, "A license to Abuse" and "Mail Order Misery" among many others. Tales of brutalized and murdered women are legion. The situation is not new, although the Internet is clearly increasing opportunities for men to find developing nation wives (very few so-called mail order marriages if any are between American men and women from other developed nations.)

The New York Times reports, "In 1998, fewer than 2,500 foreign women applied to become permanent residents under the Violence Against Women Act (of which IMBRA is a part) which allows abused wives to apply for residence without the support of their husbands. In the fiscal year that ended in September, 9,500 applied." That's a 400 percent increase in six years. The paper quotes the INS saying some 37,500 women entered the country last year on fiancee visas or temporary visas for spouses of American citizens _ up 50 percent from three years before.

A 1993 Yale Law Journal article described several cases of unimaginable abuse including the tale of one Maria who came to the United States from the Dominican Republican to marry a man who began brutalizing her shortly after they married.

"I had eight stitches in my head and a gash on the other side of my head, and he broke my ribs .... He would bash my head against the wall while we had sex. He kept threatening to kill me if I told the doctor what happened."

Who pays these women's health care bills when their husbands beat and abandon them? Most likely, the American taxpayer.

I don't assume all such marriages end badly. Perhaps many last long and end blissfully "until death doth them part." That aside, it still seems a bizarre and unappealing choice for an American man to set out to marry a woman on the basis of a preconceived notion that she emanates from a submissive culture. And submissiveness is key, as the men portrayed in the Times article make clear.

"'It all started with women's lib', said Sam Smith, a former salesman of insurance and mutual funds, who founded I Love Latins in Houston six years ago. 'Guys are sick and tired of the North American me, me, me attitude.'"

Two thoughts in closing. We are already a nation divided on mass immigration with polls showing more and more Americans want limits to the number of foreigners granted citizenship. Do we really want another 40,000 plus people entering the United States per year to satisfy men who cannot seem to find suitable mates among America's already copious supply? And, if the mail order marriage industry is so great for women, then why aren't American women flocking to the Internet to find foreign husbands?

This is one growing phenomenon that our government ought not to endorse.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)
http://www.scrippsnews.com/node/14969

Mail-order brides in an Internet age

Commentary

By BONNIE ERBE

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Let's not just make it tougher for American men to hook up with "mail order brides" over the Internet and import them, let's ban the practice altogether.

In one of the more laudable acts of his tenure in the White House, President Bush earlier this year signed into law the "International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005" or IMBRA. The law imposes some tough restrictions on men seeking to import wives. Some of the men complain the law presumes all such American men are abusers.

But I say the mere act (to wit, the bizarre act) of deciding to marry someone from a foreign country who is just about guaranteed to be less well educated and a lot less well off financially, creates such an incurably unhealthy imbalance of power in the union, even horrifically burdensome regulation won't suffice.

The law requires before any foreign woman's contact information is sold (by an Internet marriage broker) to an American man, he must disclose his criminal and marital background. It also requires the agency brokering such relationships to obtain the man's record from the National Sex Offenders Public Registry database, translate it into the woman's native language and give her a copy.

An Internet search for the words, "mail order brides abuses" brings up articles entitled, "A license to Abuse" and "Mail Order Misery" among many others. Tales of brutalized and murdered women are legion. The situation is not new, although the Internet is clearly increasing opportunities for men to find developing nation wives (very few so-called mail order marriages if any are between American men and women from other developed nations.)

The New York Times reports, "In 1998, fewer than 2,500 foreign women applied to become permanent residents under the Violence Against Women Act (of which IMBRA is a part) which allows abused wives to apply for residence without the support of their husbands. In the fiscal year that ended in September, 9,500 applied." That's a 400 percent increase in six years. The paper quotes the INS saying some 37,500 women entered the country last year on fiancee visas or temporary visas for spouses of American citizens _ up 50 percent from three years before.

A 1993 Yale Law Journal article described several cases of unimaginable abuse including the tale of one Maria who came to the United States from the Dominican Republican to marry a man who began brutalizing her shortly after they married.

"I had eight stitches in my head and a gash on the other side of my head, and he broke my ribs .... He would bash my head against the wall while we had sex. He kept threatening to kill me if I told the doctor what happened."

Who pays these women's health care bills when their husbands beat and abandon them? Most likely, the American taxpayer.

I don't assume all such marriages end badly. Perhaps many last long and end blissfully "until death doth them part." That aside, it still seems a bizarre and unappealing choice for an American man to set out to marry a woman on the basis of a preconceived notion that she emanates from a submissive culture. And submissiveness is key, as the men portrayed in the Times article make clear.

"'It all started with women's lib', said Sam Smith, a former salesman of insurance and mutual funds, who founded I Love Latins in Houston six years ago. 'Guys are sick and tired of the North American me, me, me attitude.'"

Two thoughts in closing. We are already a nation divided on mass immigration with polls showing more and more Americans want limits to the number of foreigners granted citizenship. Do we really want another 40,000 plus people entering the United States per year to satisfy men who cannot seem to find suitable mates among America's already copious supply? And, if the mail order marriage industry is so great for women, then why aren't American women flocking to the Internet to find foreign husbands?

This is one growing phenomenon that our government ought not to endorse.

Maybe Ms. Erbe's girlfriend ran off with a younger, prettier, softer, sexier foreign woman?

Edited by robhankins

03/20/2006 - I-129F - Sent FedEX

03/28/2006 - NOA 1 (Receipt) - NOA issued from CSC

07/03/2006 - RFE (Receipt) - RFE Received

07/07/2006 - RFE and Waiver Request - RFE arrived at CSC

09/01/2006 - NOA2 - USCIS Email - Approved w/Waiver

09/22/2006 - Electronic Version - Manila - Embassy Received

12/13/2006 - Packet 4 Received via DHL

12/21/2007 - Medical St. Lukes

12/22/2006 - St. Luke's canceled medical in progress - required additional tests in Jan for upper respiratory congestion.

12/28/2006 - Interview Canceled because of congestion and cough during medical at St. Lukes

01/09/2007 - St. Luke's for 3 consecutive days of "sputum tests and finish medical"

01/10/2007 - St. Luke's for 3 consecutive days of "sputum tests and finish medical"

01/11/2007 - St. Luke's for 3 consecutive days of "sputum tests and finish medical"

01/12/2007 - St. Luke's for pulmonary exam - EVERYTHING CLEAR

01/15/2007 - St. Luke's for vaccinations and release of medical to USE

02/26/2007 - Interview APPROVED - 11+ months for K1 Visa

03/05/2007 - Visa in hand

03/05/2007 - CFO Completed

03/06/2007 - Arrived in Dallas

04/29/2007 - Married in Dallas

Posted
http://www.scrippsnews.com/node/14969

Mail-order brides in an Internet age

Commentary

By BONNIE ERBE

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Let's not just make it tougher for American men to hook up with "mail order brides" over the Internet and import them, let's ban the practice altogether.

In one of the more laudable acts of his tenure in the White House, President Bush earlier this year signed into law the "International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005" or IMBRA. The law imposes some tough restrictions on men seeking to import wives. Some of the men complain the law presumes all such American men are abusers.

But I say the mere act (to wit, the bizarre act) of deciding to marry someone from a foreign country who is just about guaranteed to be less well educated and a lot less well off financially, creates such an incurably unhealthy imbalance of power in the union, even horrifically burdensome regulation won't suffice.

The law requires before any foreign woman's contact information is sold (by an Internet marriage broker) to an American man, he must disclose his criminal and marital background. It also requires the agency brokering such relationships to obtain the man's record from the National Sex Offenders Public Registry database, translate it into the woman's native language and give her a copy.

An Internet search for the words, "mail order brides abuses" brings up articles entitled, "A license to Abuse" and "Mail Order Misery" among many others. Tales of brutalized and murdered women are legion. The situation is not new, although the Internet is clearly increasing opportunities for men to find developing nation wives (very few so-called mail order marriages if any are between American men and women from other developed nations.)

The New York Times reports, "In 1998, fewer than 2,500 foreign women applied to become permanent residents under the Violence Against Women Act (of which IMBRA is a part) which allows abused wives to apply for residence without the support of their husbands. In the fiscal year that ended in September, 9,500 applied." That's a 400 percent increase in six years. The paper quotes the INS saying some 37,500 women entered the country last year on fiancee visas or temporary visas for spouses of American citizens _ up 50 percent from three years before.

A 1993 Yale Law Journal article described several cases of unimaginable abuse including the tale of one Maria who came to the United States from the Dominican Republican to marry a man who began brutalizing her shortly after they married.

"I had eight stitches in my head and a gash on the other side of my head, and he broke my ribs .... He would bash my head against the wall while we had sex. He kept threatening to kill me if I told the doctor what happened."

Who pays these women's health care bills when their husbands beat and abandon them? Most likely, the American taxpayer.

I don't assume all such marriages end badly. Perhaps many last long and end blissfully "until death doth them part." That aside, it still seems a bizarre and unappealing choice for an American man to set out to marry a woman on the basis of a preconceived notion that she emanates from a submissive culture. And submissiveness is key, as the men portrayed in the Times article make clear.

"'It all started with women's lib', said Sam Smith, a former salesman of insurance and mutual funds, who founded I Love Latins in Houston six years ago. 'Guys are sick and tired of the North American me, me, me attitude.'"

Two thoughts in closing. We are already a nation divided on mass immigration with polls showing more and more Americans want limits to the number of foreigners granted citizenship. Do we really want another 40,000 plus people entering the United States per year to satisfy men who cannot seem to find suitable mates among America's already copious supply? And, if the mail order marriage industry is so great for women, then why aren't American women flocking to the Internet to find foreign husbands?

This is one growing phenomenon that our government ought not to endorse.

#######????????????????????

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline
Posted

I would suggest a Ms. Bonnie here was left high and dry by someone. Good God, are people so blind as to not see what has happened to "culture" in the US. I left it long ago, mentally that is. I would think one might to want to think why so many men look elsewhere. But once again the typical attitude of people here are to look for a way to force one to submit as oppose to look inward and maybe realize why we act like we do. Good luck Bonnie, you will need it.

I-130

2006 09 06 Mailed I-130

2006 09 07 Rec'd at CA Center

2006 09 13 I-130 NOA1 receipt date

2006 11 22 NOA2, approved

2007 02 15 Case complete at NVC

2007 02 21 Case forwarded to Bogota Embassy

2007 02 23 Case received at Embassy

2007 04 12 Interview,VISA GRANTED

I-751- Removing Conditions

2009 04 08 Overnight Application

2009 04 09 Rec'd Application at CSC

2009 04 17 Rec'd NOA

2009 05 10 Called CSC - No Biometrix letter, 45 day Inquiry starts

2009 05 18 Made Info Pass appointment for June 2

2009 05 26 Rec'd response and copy of Bio Appt letter dated May 14, Appt on May 28

2009 05 27 Biometrix-walked in a day early and completed appointment

2009 06 01 Approved Conditions Removed (rec'd Congratulations letter on June 9)

2009 06 12 Touched but nothing changed on USCIS website

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Bonnie Erbe is a TV host and writes this column for Scripps Howard News Service. E-mail bonnieerbe@CompuServe.com . Just in case anyone was wondering. ;) Or wanted to say "hi". :whistle:

03/20/2006 - I-129F - Sent FedEX

03/28/2006 - NOA 1 (Receipt) - NOA issued from CSC

07/03/2006 - RFE (Receipt) - RFE Received

07/07/2006 - RFE and Waiver Request - RFE arrived at CSC

09/01/2006 - NOA2 - USCIS Email - Approved w/Waiver

09/22/2006 - Electronic Version - Manila - Embassy Received

12/13/2006 - Packet 4 Received via DHL

12/21/2007 - Medical St. Lukes

12/22/2006 - St. Luke's canceled medical in progress - required additional tests in Jan for upper respiratory congestion.

12/28/2006 - Interview Canceled because of congestion and cough during medical at St. Lukes

01/09/2007 - St. Luke's for 3 consecutive days of "sputum tests and finish medical"

01/10/2007 - St. Luke's for 3 consecutive days of "sputum tests and finish medical"

01/11/2007 - St. Luke's for 3 consecutive days of "sputum tests and finish medical"

01/12/2007 - St. Luke's for pulmonary exam - EVERYTHING CLEAR

01/15/2007 - St. Luke's for vaccinations and release of medical to USE

02/26/2007 - Interview APPROVED - 11+ months for K1 Visa

03/05/2007 - Visa in hand

03/05/2007 - CFO Completed

03/06/2007 - Arrived in Dallas

04/29/2007 - Married in Dallas

Posted

She asks why don't American women flock to the internet in search of a mate? Maybe its for the same reason that they do NOT, that so many Amerian men do?

my blog: http://immigrationlawreformblog.blogspot.com/

"It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

-- Charles M. Province

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline
Posted

That was one of the most ignorant columns that I have ever read. I feel stupider now that I have actually taken such bunk into my mind. It's as if no American Men abuse American Women...hello??? Battered women are all over America, I know because I worked for the Dept of Human Services for 4 years.

For the record, not one of my clients was here on a Fiance Visa. True, the problem of abuse exists, but don't try to make it like its an immigration issue. Please! I live in an apartment and I have heard my upstairs neighbor, who is a very American man argue with and wrestle with is very American girlfriend. Like someone said it just feeds the frenzy of supposed immigration issues in this country. I have to force myself to turn away from this ####### and try not to react. I try to focus on my situation & get my fiance here...I have said enough.

La Verdadera y El Sincero - Siempre

2005 - 2006 Spent falling in love

22 May 2006 My journey to Nigeria

24 May 2006 David proposes to me

9 June 2006 Mailed I129F to TSC

30 June 2006 NOA-1

Case Transferred to CSC

27 July 2006 Touched

5 Sept 2006 Called USCIS for case / IMBRA status

14 Sept 2006 Touched

19 Sept 2006 Touched Again!

23 Sept 2006 Received IMBRA RFE by postal mail (postmarked 20 Sept 2006)

25 Sept 2006 Response to IMBRA RFE sent Priority Mail w/Delivery Confirmation

29 Sept 2006 Rec'd Email stating RFE received

1 Oct 2006 Touched - Same RFE rec'd message

17 Oct 2006 NOA-2 Rec'd via Email

23 Oct 2006 NOA-2 Rec'd via Postal Mail

9 Nov 2006 Email from NVC (response to my inquiry) w/NVC case# - file to Lagos 6 Nov

13 Nov 2006 Received NVC letter via Postal Mail

20 Nov 2006 Fiance went to Lagos Consulate- Interview Date Received

7 Feb 2007 Interview-VISA GRANTED!!! -

12 Feb 2007 Visa in Hand!!! ***Scheduled arrival 23 Feb 2007***

23 Feb 2007 Arrived JFK USA!!!

12 May 2007 Married

23 May 2007 Filed AOS

25 May 2007 Rec'd NOA1

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Germany
Timeline
Posted (edited)

Wow what a BS! I agree that she's bitter because her ex left her probably for a foreign woman.

It is very interesting that she has no journalistic work ethic. I worked as a journalist and I am pretty sure that quality standards are the same in Germany and the States. It is okay to express your opinion in an op/ed, but it is not okay to twist facts. She was referring to an increase of 400% in battered women. She forgot to mention that there was an increase in 400% of foreign spouses, so technically there was no increase in women who were abused.

And what's the deal about attitude? If these men like girls from other countries better then let them. It's a free country.

I find it also very interesting that apparently all foreign spouses come from poor countries. And it seems there is no country in the world that is comparable to the standard of living?! She clearly implies all foreign spouses come to exploit their American counterparts. That is so horrible!

And I guess my husband made himself a bad deal according to her, getting someone from Europe with the same attitude as the American girls. Damn if he knew better before! ;) But wait, I guess we not American women are just all submissive?!

Anna

Edited by Anna C.

AOS

8-4-2006 Date of NOA's

1-4-2007 Green Card in mail

Removal of conditions

9-29-2008 I-751 delivered to CSC

12-29-2008 Green Card ordered :)

Citizenship

10-15-2011 Package sent to NSC

10-17-2011 NOA Priority Date

11-25-2011 Biometrics done

11-29-2011 In line for interview scheduling... woohoo!

12-20-2011 Interview scheduled ...received letter 3 days later

01-24-2012 Interview & Oath

Done!

Posted

I committed a bizarre act? :o I I'd do it again at the drop of a hat! Claudeth is the best woman I have even met as far as being compatable with me. I wish I could have found her 30 years ago :D Of course she wasn't around then :P I consider myself one lucky human being to have found such a wonderful companion so if by marrying her was bizarre then just add me to the list of wackos! :wacko:

usa_fl_sm_nwm.gifphilippines_fl_md_clr.gif

United States & Republic of the Philippines

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." John Wayne

Posted

Little more information here on this hack and a pic of her. http://www.pbs.org/ttc/host.html No wonder why she is afraid of a little competition. YIKES! :lol:

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

DEAN AND SHERYL

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline
Posted

I figured since I was one of the "men portrayed" in the article she is quoting, I'd send her a thank you email. It's WAY too long to print here but here's an excerpt:

The last time I checked, this is a free country. I should be able to date and meet any woman I choose, from anywhere in the world. There is a system of background checks to exclude terrorists and wildly inappropriate relationships from going forward. I love Yesenia with all my heart and intend to do my very best for her. I don’t think you have any reason to challenge my right to do so. Can you honestly tell me that if you met an intelligent, handsome man from say Italy, or even Colombia and fell in love, you’d be ok if our government said you didn’t have the right to do so, or is it just men you feel should be punished and regulated? Also, in your choice to quote the statistics about abuse, did you do your own research or is the New York Times the authority on that? Trust me; they couldn’t even quote a simple guy like me correctly. Did you happen to notice that the rise in reported cases matched the rise in visas being issued so they are actually the same ratio? I’ll admit the ratio is high and I don’t like it. I don’t think women should ever be abused. I can’t speak for those men. I can only speak for myself. That being said, I don’t need you or the New York Times to do it for me.

Hope you are all doing well!

AW

Adam & Yesenia

I-129 submitted on 5/26/06 (on OLD forms because the new ones weren't out!!)

NOA #1 with receipt number dated 6/12/2006

Nothing else has happened after that as far as I know... No RFE's, Nothing?

touched on 9/7/2006

Email notice on 9/11/2006 that my question would be answered.

Email notice on 9/12/2006 that the RFE is in the mail 3 months after my WAC number

Next trip to see her for a week on 9/23/06...

Went to Colombia on 9/23 returned on 10/1

I never received my RFE but my attorney sent me his copy which I filled out and overnighted on 10/3 RFE delivery confirmation on 10/4 but nothing from CSC yet...

CSC Email saying they have my RFE on 10/11/06, a full week after they got it.

Note that to this day, I've still NEVER received my copy of the RFE they said they mailed to me! I've seen lots of posts about lost RFE's and other documents from the CSC! This concerns me greatly!

NOA 2 on 10/18/2006 Woo Hoo! 129 days from NOA 1.

Yesenia arrived in the US on January 18th, 2007

We were married on 3/17/07

Filed for Green Card and Employment Authorization right away.

Green Card was issued (with EAD card) on 6/15/07

We'll be filing for AOS pretty soon.

 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

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