Question for those who were scammed...

[indiana_sweetie 120]

I think only you and your spouse know well about how much you love each other But one thing I should say is that any relation is on the risk if it has doubts between each other about how much this relationship means.

True. However my daughter and her hubby had no doubts and ended up divorced. She moved to Australia with him. My first hubby, an American, and I had several times when we had doubts but we stayed married. Go figure. The topic was do we think we are being scammed. Sorry, I wandered. No, I don't now but it crossed my mind when we were first getting to know each other. I printed all our chats from the beginning, not even knowing or having the slightest idea I would need them as relationship proof. I read them over, and then when I went to meet him I found everything to be as he told me.

[sunshine_84 11]

True. However my daughter and her hubby had no doubts and ended up divorced. She moved to Australia with him. My first hubby, an American, and I had several times when we had doubts but we stayed married. Go figure. The topic was do we think we are being scammed. Sorry, I wandered. No, I don't now but it crossed my mind when we were first getting to know each other. I printed all our chats from the beginning, not even knowing or having the slightest idea I would need them as relationship proof. I read them over, and then when I went to meet him I found everything to be as he told me.

I just shared based on my personal opinion Nothing against to anyone

Every marriage relation does require some adjustment, trust, respect and love and financial stability. It's hard to judge into a conclusion about why relation did not work out without hearing reasons from both sides. Irrespective of age, culture, country of origin, I have seen many relations fall apart if they were mutually based on physical attraction and/or money.

Regarding Original topic, all said above is also applicable. Each spouse should know well enough about their spouse before making a life long decision to get married. It's not like buying a new BMW every 5 or 7 years.

Edited August 8, 2012 by smart84

[Impossible 30]

Back to the original OP's post. I was one that was ,and when asked if there were any warning signs I guess I could say yes. Well I say yes because I do now find it odd that someone from so far away with little means or opportunities would start a relationship with someone from the United States. He also had a college education but didn't have any job prospects where he lived. He would work odd jobs, So I was always a little apprehensive about that. Other then that, when I went to visit him I was brought to his home town, met all his family, tons of his friends. His family truly treated me wonderfully and even when we were on skype would come and say hi to me. I visited him 3 times before we started the process and each time I was always treated very well and always included in family and friends gatherings. I never felt out of place while I was there. We also talked every night when I was here and he was there. So I am a little shocked at how things are today less then a year after we were married. So many things still boggle my mind and I become very angry, but along with anger there is a lot of hurt.

[RobNKharen 70]

A couple of quick thoughts..............if you are knocking someone's grammar without really contributing to the thread, you are a troll. If you have doubts in your mate you are normal, as long as they are reasonable doubts.

From my experience and getting scammed once already, a few things are red flags for me:

Multiple email accounts and/or social media accounts

Multiple SIM cards

Missing chat times without leaving a message to let me know you can't be there.

Abnormal amounts of excuses including brown outs or internet outage

Blowing through money without being able to account for how it has been spent.

Disappearing for a day after you get a money transfer

BODY LANGUAGE in vid chat or in person

Not referring to people by name...."uncle" or "classmate" is NOT a name.

Not wanting me to meet your friends

Being online at an odd time and refusing to open cam.

Getting/replying to SMS then immediately deleting it

Trying to call but your excuse is the phone is "low batt" often

Trying to call and get "out of area" or no answer

Those are a few of my personal red flags, a few of which can legitimately happen, but I pay attention.

[TBoneTX 45,284]

Making a successful effort to communicate clearly and understandably is half of one's contribution to a thread. The other half is contributing meaningful content.

Good grammar & spelling, and good list of red flags.

[Karee 4,190]

A couple of quick thoughts..............if you are knocking someone's grammar without really contributing to the thread, you are a troll. If you have doubts in your mate you are normal, as long as they are reasonable doubts.

From my experience and getting scammed once already, a few things are red flags for me:

Multiple email accounts and/or social media accounts

Multiple SIM cards

Missing chat times without leaving a message to let me know you can't be there.

Abnormal amounts of excuses including brown outs or internet outage

Blowing through money without being able to account for how it has been spent.

Disappearing for a day after you get a money transfer

BODY LANGUAGE in vid chat or in person

Not referring to people by name...."uncle" or "classmate" is NOT a name.

Not wanting me to meet your friends

Being online at an odd time and refusing to open cam.

Getting/replying to SMS then immediately deleting it

Trying to call but your excuse is the phone is "low batt" often

Trying to call and get "out of area" or no answer

Those are a few of my personal red flags, a few of which can legitimately happen, but I pay attention.

Too me the big one is the phone being turned off. In Asia it will go straight to unavailable recording if the phone is off. My first girl in Thailand was always pulling that, and I LIVED in Thailand, but travelled around Asia alot. I told my now wife after I moved back to the U.S. while we were waiting for her visa, that her phone had better be answered when I call. One time it went straight to that recording, and I flipped. I almost ended everything over that. I know that sounds harsh, but I had already gotten burned once. Everything worked out in the end. We've been married almost 6 years now, and I applied for her citizenship last month.

The list above should be pinned somewhere. Especially when dealing with Filipinas and Thais. And before someone jumps my a$$ over this saying it's singling out races, I've seen this kinda thing happen happen multiple times in life and here on this website.

I knew one former member of VJ that went as far as to buy the girl a house and car. Of course she disappeared right before the interview. The Thai scam is to get as much as possible out of the foreigner all the way up to the interview date and then bail.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Too me the big one is the phone being turned off. In Asia it will go straight to unavailable recording if the phone is off. My first girl in Thailand was always pulling that, and I LIVED in Thailand, but travelled around Asia alot. I told my now wife after I moved back to the U.S. while we were waiting for her visa, that her phone had better be answered when I call. One time it went straight to that recording, and I flipped. I almost ended everything over that. I know that sounds harsh, but I had already gotten burned once. Everything worked out in the end. We've been married almost 6 years now, and I applied for her citizenship last month.

The list above should be pinned somewhere. Especially when dealing with Filipinas and Thais. And before someone jumps my a$ over this saying it's singling out races, I've seen this kinda thing happen happen multiple times in life and here on this website.

I knew one former member of VJ that went as far as to buy the girl a house and car. Of course she disappeared right before the interview. The Thai scam is to get as much as possible out of the foreigner all the way up to the interview date and then bail.

Ouch....that must have hurt a bit.