Question for those who were scammed...

[rkk1 34]

I am not entirely sure that I was used for a green card, but I am sure that I was used for a free/easy ride. I think the immigration process just doesn't allow us enough time to really know a person. I spent time with my ex-husband's family, friends....but without living together, I think you really can't know (unless there is a big age difference or you have children from a previous relationship in the case that it is not normal in the SO's culture) for certain. My ex-husband has now been with his girlfriend (and they were together before me) for a few years this time around. Now she is the one being used. Unfortunately, a child is caught in the middle of it all. I know now that my ex-husband never loved me. He would have stayed forever if he would have been afforded enough clothes and electronics and never had to work. That's all he was ever really interested in. I think he would go to any country that benefitted him. And I thought I was immune because I spoke his language and met him in the country. And I had spent a lot of time there prior to knowing him. He had travelled more than I. He wasn't some poor guy without education. And there will be more victims laying in the road behind him. That's for sure. The signs that I wish I would have noticed was his excessive use of the internet. I am very secure, so I had no reason to look to see what he was doing. He has his own website, so I didn't think about it. But he was emailing women constantly and having conversations with many women. He preferred his phone and the computer to every thing else. These addictions are a sign no matter where we are in the world.

Hi Linguere, thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm just wondering a few things though, if I may ask. Does your ex-husband show at all that he loves your child? Or does he have nothing to do with the child. I am just wondering if those foreign spouses who marry a USC without love for their spouse still have love for the child they have with the USC.

Also, I am wondering... before marriage, did you see any signs that your husband might be one to cheat? For example, was he the type before marriage who expressed strong disgust by infidelity and talked about how loyalty in marriage was so important.... or conversely was he the guy who was always chatting up some other woman and disregarding your feelings? I'm just wondering, in case you were open to sharing.

Edited July 29, 2012 by rkk1

[rlogan 2,036]

That's what I don't get either.

Fear and ignorance. Only 30% of Americans have passports compared to 75% in the UK, and of the americans if you rule out business travel it is some appallingly small fraction. The majority of K-1's are meeting online, so they are mostly only getting passports to go meet the girl as required by immigration. I know so many guys that are lonely and increasingly bitter but they won't go because as one says "it's out of my comfort zone".

Wow, Rich and Bey - that should be required reading. All a bad person has to do is say "I love you" and they can be pooping all over your head at the same time. When my kids are a little bit older I am going to train them to watch actions, compare them to words, and run from people whose actions do not match words.

rkk1 in your last post you asked about infidelity and what the signs were. A potential spouse talking about how revolting infidelity is has zero value. You have to expect a scammer to relentlessly profess how faithful they are.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

rkk1 in your last post you asked about infidelity and what the signs were. A potential spouse talking about how revolting infidelity is has zero value. You have to expect a scammer to relentlessly profess how faithful they are.

True that.

How many of our politicians who has rallied against homosexuality, for example, have been found to be closeted.

Frankly, whenever I encounter someone who is overly zealous on any matter, be it projecting an undying love, my antennaes goes up.

[meagan 3]

Ok I'm going to t and make this fast as I was just looking around and came across this when I was getting ready to log off I will post more later on my experience but the frist red flag I see in your post for wanting to know if u are being scammed you should of also seen this when u frist met him you were on a us dating site ask your self what was he doing on a us dating site when he lives in India why is he perusing people in the us to date when he does not even live in the US ? Any foriner on a us dating site that does not live in the US would obusley have only one intuition and that would be to find someone in the US only to marry or try to help them get here sorry if this sounds harsh but have been through it before with my ex husband even though he lived here at the time and was lied to about many things and did not find out till it was to late if u would like to know more about my situation let me know I can go into further detail later but also I have good friends from India that are us citizens and live here and I would have to say that 90% of the time they do lie and lie to get wt they want no matter who it hurts I also have a good friend I gew up with that is married to one for the past 10 years and she is now livening in India for the past year and she says with all the trips they took there yearly since there marriage she could never of prepared her self for the things the lies she has encounterd since she moved there she says they lie more then she ever thought possible she has growen to trust no one there not even a car dealer nor doctor there way of life is so different then we are use to the way they are raised the things they learned growing up just to survive I could go on and on it I think u need to take a step back and look at where u meet him a US dating site this is thefrist big red flag he was obusley there looking for a us citizen why was he not Ina India dating site looking they will tell u anything and everything you want to hear again I'm sorry if I'm being harsh and don't mean anything bad but keep your eyes open wide open and keep your guard up and don't believe everything you are being told when you have doubts and you confront him about them as he can tell u anything he knows he has u where he wants you you are in love and when you are in love like this you want to believe everything they say like I said before if u would like to know my story let me knowi will post later

[TBoneTX 45,299]

Ok I'm going to t and make this fast

Uh, have you heard of paragraphs, and punctuation?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Uh, have you heard of paragraphs, and punctuation?

I'm thinking some sort of Smartphone was the tool involved on the murderous rampage on the Queens English.

Edited August 7, 2012 by Gowon

[meagan 3]

Ok yes sorry was using a smart phone device . not a good thing to do now I know . but do u rely need to go off on me about that . I mean come on I know I'm not the only one on here that has ever done that . and sorry I did for now on will wate till I'm at a computer so I won't get toren apart for it

[TBoneTX 45,299]

for now on will wate till I'm at a computer so I won't get toren apart for it

Thank you for your courtesy, and perhaps the computer has a spell-checker.

[meagan 3]

Thank you for your courtesy, and perhaps the computer has a spell-checker.

WOW anything else u would like to tear me apart for and put me down for ? This is why I never post on here is because ppl just sit there and put you down every chance they get . If they can find something to stab you with they will sorry I'm not perfect but no one is . Now if I was a forner with bad English nothing would of ever been said and can't help my device likes to re write wt I type or re spell things and sometimes u just miss them when they are so small thanks for makeing me fill about as big as a ant real ppl do have real fellings sometimes

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

WOW anything else u would like to tear me apart for and put me down for ? This is why I never post on here is because ppl just sit there and put you down every chance they get . If they can find something to stab you with they will sorry I'm not perfect but no one is . Now if I was a forner with bad English nothing would of ever been said and can't help my device likes to re write wt I type or re spell things and sometimes u just miss them when they are so small thanks for makeing me fill about as big as a ant real ppl do have real fellings sometimes

Hello Meagan, I suspect you are joking but just in case, you should never allow another human being to do that to you. You are in charge and in control of yourself. If others don't like to read your postings then they can plink your username into the iggie bin, including me.

Cheers.

[TBoneTX 45,299]

Now if I was a forner with bad English

Rest assured: no one said that you was a forner with bad English.

If surface issues cloud someone's writing, that person's points and opinions can't be fully appreciated, because people are struggling past the surface to reach the meat of the message.

[rlogan 2,036]

thanks for makeing me fill about as big as a ant real ppl do have real fellings sometimes

Yes they do. Sorry.

If I understand point #1, it is a red flag to be on a US Dating site if you are a foreigner. That is interesting. I didn't meet my wife on the internet, and don't know these sites very well. So it wasn't a "foreign introductions" site, but rather a US dating site? That does seem odd.

You may have other valuable information and I am sorry that this criticism may have interfered in it. People will criticize me for naming a country and making generalizations about it, so I will withhold the name. But amongst all the countries I traveled there was one in which just about everyone told me they lie and steal because they are poor. To them, this was a right. My answer to them was no: you are poor because you lie and steal. Those people would steal one dollar from me today and lose all future business with me. That's how stupid they were about their futures. You bring that kind of mentality home with you and they will be your ruination.

[indiana_sweetie 120]

Yes they do. Sorry.

If I understand point #1, it is a red flag to be on a US Dating site if you are a foreigner. That is interesting. I didn't meet my wife on the internet, and don't know these sites very well. So it wasn't a "foreign introductions" site, but rather a US dating site? That does seem odd.

I didn't meet my hubby on a dating site, it was more of just a series of different chat rooms where people got together and listened to music or talked. None of them were exclusive for the US. And yeah, some flirting too. My hubby was honest with me. He told me he was looking for a serious relationship. But he chose an American over someone from his own country. Is it because he wants to come to America? Why did I choose him...because of his accent and big brown eyes? As we were getting to know each other, we realized how much we had to offer each other, how much we had to share, not only love and companionship, but the adventures of our countries...language, food, culture, places to visit. And we share the same interests and desires. Is he using me for a visa? Am I using him for sex, companionship and a strong back? Well, I think it's just part of the package. Use me baby, use me

[indiana_sweetie 120]

And yes...we love each other, too. Just in case you were wondering. Does that mean it will last forever? What marriage is without that risk? Do I think he married me just for the visa? No, I truly believe we went way beyond that.

[sunshine_84 11]

And yes...we love each other, too. Just in case you were wondering. Does that mean it will last forever? What marriage is without that risk? Do I think he married me just for the visa? No, I truly believe we went way beyond that.

I think only you and your spouse know well about how much you love each other But one thing I should say is that any relation is on the risk if it has doubts between each other about how much this relationship means.