Question

[sarah and hicham 3]

I'm just curious to know if sharing arguments or fights etc. is haram in Islam or if it is just an ME/NA cultural thing not to. I know most of the men don't like it, so I was just wondering what you guys think.

Sarah

shoot! I forgot to add a does not apply to me in the second question.

Maybe just vote "NO" if it does not apply to you, ok?

Edited October 19, 2006 by sarah and hicham

[Henia 11]

I think if the *issue* shared is within the limits of Islam...so no sexual content or inner secrets are shared then there is no problem. Alot of people have really no other way to vent and express their problems with people they *feel* can undertsand them then here on VJ.

I think also that the SO has right to know that his/her SO is posting about them and what is posted. Secrets should not be kept between the two.

Also finally I would like to add, I joined VJ thinking all you ladies were great, strong and helpful...eventually a friendship of some sort would form ... Well I have formed some *friendships* with you great bunch of people... but there are times when I just feel I have had it. Anyway, that is my issue not yours.

But I will say this much, I am starting to feel I cannot express myself here so liberally... and that I should not even *try* to get off topic anymore.

Thanks for listening and baring with me.

Peace and Blessings

[jordanianprincess 0]

I think if the *issue* shared is within the limits of Islam...so no sexual content or inner secrets are shared then there is no problem. Alot of people have really no other way to vent and express their problems with people they *feel* can undertsand them then here on VJ.

I think also that the SO has right to know that his/her SO is posting about them and what is posted. Secrets should not be kept between the two.

Also finally I would like to add, I joined VJ thinking all you ladies were great, strong and helpful...eventually a friendship of some sort would form ... Well I have formed some *friendships* with you great bunch of people... but there are times when I just feel I have had it. Anyway, that is my issue not yours.

But I will say this much, I am starting to feel I cannot express myself here so liberally... and that I should not even *try* to get off topic anymore.

Thanks for listening and baring with me.

Peace and Blessings

So you husband knows all the private information you post about him on VJ?

I think if the *issue* shared is within the limits of Islam...so no sexual content or inner secrets are shared then there is no problem. Alot of people have really no other way to vent and express their problems with people they *feel* can undertsand them then here on VJ.

I think also that the SO has right to know that his/her SO is posting about them and what is posted. Secrets should not be kept between the two.

Also finally I would like to add, I joined VJ thinking all you ladies were great, strong and helpful...eventually a friendship of some sort would form ... Well I have formed some *friendships* with you great bunch of people... but there are times when I just feel I have had it. Anyway, that is my issue not yours.

But I will say this much, I am starting to feel I cannot express myself here so liberally... and that I should not even *try* to get off topic anymore.

Thanks for listening and baring with me.

Peace and Blessings

So you husband knows all the private information you post about him on VJ?

Wait Henia, you voted

1. nothing wrong with it

2. he doesnt read your posts

3. you would have a problem wiht him doing the same?

That contradicts everything you just said.

[Henia 11]

He knows basically what I share alot of things with my friends and on Vj. He doesnt know every single detail...if he did I am sure we wouldnt be going thru what we are going thru now...and if he wanted to post whatever I wouldnt mind. But as I stated in the other thread I am done. I am going to get all catty with you. Ain't for me. Sorry! But I am glad to the see the Post Police are out on the patrol as usual. VJ: where opinions, ideals and experiences should not be posted. Hmm now I know why I was warned to only post strictly visa related comments and questions and congrats for approvals. Hmmm...maybe I will take that *golden advice*...

[jordanianprincess 0]

He knows basically what I share alot of things with my friends and on Vj. He doesnt know every single detail...if he did I am sure we wouldnt be going thru what we are going thru now...and if he wanted to post whatever I wouldnt mind. But as I stated in the other thread I am done. I am going to get all catty with you. Ain't for me. Sorry! But I am glad to the see the Post Police are out on the patrol as usual. VJ: where opinions, ideals and experiences should not be posted. Hmm now I know why I was warned to only post strictly visa related comments and questions and congrats for approvals. Hmmm...maybe I will take that *golden advice*...

I could care less about your opinions, ideals and experiences. Just pointing out the HUGE contradiction you made it your post.

[Bosco 1]

So you husband knows all the private information you post about him on VJ?

This is what I was getting at with the "Ramadan reminders" in the bickering threads. There are many behaviors that can be perceived unbecoming to Muslims, during Ramadan or all the time. It could be back biting, it could be posting details about our husbands, it could how someone is dressed... a multitude of things. Henia, I know you didn't mean any offense, but how would you feel if someone had posted "remember it is Ramadan" after you posted about your husband's text messages? I am not calling you out for that - not in any way- my point is simply that we all have our own standards of what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior during Ramadan (and throughout the year). I think such reminders can lead to something really ugly... with each person calling the other out for what they perceive goes against Islam. I don't think any of us want that.

[sarah and hicham 3]

For those of you who don't show your husbands your posts about your marital problems, what do you think they would do if they read them?

[mybackpages 0]

I think haram might be a little too strong a word to use. In Islam husbands and wifes are like cloaks for one another. They shelter and protect each other. It can be harmful and even dangerous to a relationship to expose private details about the other in a public forum.

For some people this forum is a "family" and there are not other people in their lives who they can vent to who will understand because they are not in a bi-national or bi-cultural relationship. Personally for me I could never post here private things. I have close family members (or firends who are like family to us both) that I could trust to bend their ear. Otherwise it stays between us.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Henia, I don't want to upset you but I am curious, if you don't mind sharing...

I think we all know you went through a little rough patch in Algeria and shared with us, and you don't think there is anything wrong with that. Then you said your husband doesn't read your posts. Then you said you would be mind if he posted about your problems... sorry but it is contradicting, can you elaborate?

What if he did read your posts?

So everyone so far would mind if their husbands posted about their problems... interesting!

[sarah and hicham 3]

explain your answers people! Come on!

[babybunny 2]

The only marital problem we have is this DAYUM AP.

since me and my husband has shared this issue with 1001 others I guess its not too bad of a thing.

Henia, I don't want to upset you but I am curious, if you don't mind sharing...

I think we all know you went through a little rough patch in Algeria and shared with us, and you don't think there is anything wrong with that. Then you said your husband doesn't read your posts. Then you said you would be mind if he posted about your problems... sorry but it is contradicting, can you elaborate?

What if he did read your posts?

So everyone so far would mind if their husbands posted about their problems... interesting!

let me guess - you created this poll to mock Henia? I think thats pretty low.

Henia, dont answer her "tarded " questions!

[morocco4ever 63]

Okay, I will bite. I don't think it is Haram, just unwise. I don't post my marital problems here on the board because that is what I have a husband for. Him and I need to talk through it, not with someone else.

On the other hand we are all different, and maybe we need to vent, and there really is no one to vent too.

As far as being reminded it is Ramadan, well we are all responsible to dictate how we ourselves behave. Muslim or Christian. I was raised Christian so I know that it is expected of them to behave kindly one to another. For those that choose no faith, then you must decide for yourself how you want to be treated, and do the same for them. This applies to everyday of the year, not just during specific holidays.

I don't, however, get offended when someone reminds us that it is Ramadan.

[Bosco 1]

I think haram might be a little too strong a word to use. In Islam husbands and wifes are like cloaks for one another. They shelter and protect each other. It can be harmful and even dangerous to a relationship to expose private details about the other in a public forum.

For some people this forum is a "family" and there are not other people in their lives who they can vent to who will understand because they are not in a bi-national or bi-cultural relationship. Personally for me I could never post here private things. I have close family members (or firends who are like family to us both) that I could trust to bend their ear. Otherwise it stays between us.

This really sums up my feelings. I thought haram was a bit strong, but I voted haram because it came the closest to how I feel.

I fully understand people need a place to go. I would hate to see anyone who is comfortable with posting their problems stop because of my feelings. I think this is where group's like Doreen's can be a real service. They may not be 100% secure but they are not so out in the open too. Even chatting one-on-one or in a small group with your favorites from here.

Also, I think there is a difference between posting about the toilet seat and more personal issues.

[sarah and hicham 3]

The only marital problem we have is this DAYUM AP.

since me and my husband has shared this issue with 1001 others I guess its not too bad of a thing.

Henia, I don't want to upset you but I am curious, if you don't mind sharing...

I think we all know you went through a little rough patch in Algeria and shared with us, and you don't think there is anything wrong with that. Then you said your husband doesn't read your posts. Then you said you would be mind if he posted about your problems... sorry but it is contradicting, can you elaborate?

What if he did read your posts?

So everyone so far would mind if their husbands posted about their problems... interesting!

let me guess - you created this poll to mock Henia? I think thats pretty low.

Henia, dont answer her "tarded " questions!

Oh please. Henia and I are friends and I am trying to find out why she voted like that because it is contradicting. Henia knows I mean no harm.

[Together4ever 1]

We have no secrets from each other. He knows I post here. He comes to read sometimes. We have an understanding between us what is private and what isn't. We try to be respectful of our relationship. I will say he isn't very much in favor of me posting here anymore because he doesn't like a lot of what he sees going on, but that's just him being protective of my feelings.

So, religion has nothing to do with our agreement.