Th Th Th Thursday!

[Together4ever 1]

Ok this is probably stupid but I'm upset.

I asked him last night why he doesn't and hasn't ever called me "habibti".

He blushed and said the word and said that we don't do that here before we are married. Then he said it means "lover" so I blushed and said ooooh.

Well then I got to thinkin...you guys all call each other habibti and I know you don't "play for the other team" so what gives.

Now I'm in a foul mood 'cause I'm like why would he lie about something like that??? I mean even after he said it last night he said, "see now people are looking over here at me 'cause they know what I said and they understand".

I know he hates it when the place is crowded and he has to shut the cam off if others are behind him because he said he gets very angry if they look at me. Maybe that's why but still I'm po'd. (and due for aunt flo any second so maybe that's it.)

I'm really bugged though. Feel like crying over it.

We went home and Adil went straight to bed and left me to clean all the dishes in the kitchen by myself. I did half the dishes and I am going to do the other half tonight. Anyway, I think I can get Adil to help me tonight because he is home early, he probably wont, but it'l be worth the try.

I'd be so mad I'd make him get up and help!

Mohammed gets very touchy in a crowded cafe too. He feels these things are private and is very sensitive about guys listening in on something that has great value to him, but they assume he's just "playing internet romeo". He's gotten into fights over this in the beginning of our relationship, so now he prefers to go to a cafe with a personal booth so he can relax and talk to me as he likes without worrying about eaves droppers. I would venture to bet this is the case with your darling too. Try to see it from his perspective. Those guys DO listen in, steal IDs, peek at cams, etc. Retards. Hang in there. I know it can all be so unnerving when he's so far away and you're wanting that full emotion from him and he can't give it. It's not that he doesn't want to. Hug.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Well then I got to thinkin...you guys all call each other habibti and I know you don't "play for the other team" so what gives.

For what it's worth, it's different when used between members of the same sex... it's common for men to call other men habibi and such but it's not as common for those same men to call a woman they're not related to habibiti.

So when we use it with each other here (habibiti) it's like "my dear".

[Together4ever 1]

Well then I got to thinkin...you guys all call each other habibti and I know you don't "play for the other team" so what gives.

For what it's worth, it's different when used between members of the same sex... it's common for men to call other men habibi and such but it's not as common for those same men to call a woman they're not related to habibiti.

So when we use it with each other here (habibiti) it's like "my dear".

Yep. Mohammed is so quirky he doesn't even want to use Arabic terms. He says it feels all wrong and much prefers English. Sooooooooooooo... every sweet potato is different!

[Ban Hammer 13,133]

Well then I got to thinkin...you guys all call each other habibti and I know you don't "play for the other team" so what gives.

well darn. there goes a few ideas i had

[Bosco 1]

Well I just found out that my husband went home earlier than early. He turned off his phone even though I had talked to him at 11 and told him that it's very important that he calls me back before he goes home and takes a nap! Well he didn't call and his phone is off so now I can't even get ahold of him and I needed to get this thing done before 5! I get get it done because the last thing I need is at my house and I wont be home until 5:15!!!!!!! Why?! And you know the thing that gets me the most, he is probably taking a nap right now while all those dishes are in the sink and on the counter! I get about 5 - 6 hours of sleep a night and he has the nerve to tell me that I am not as tired as he is when he gets close to over 80 hours of sleep a week! He always complains about being tired and working to hard, yet he always says, "...when you work as hard and as much as i do!" I swear I work just as hard and just as long, and I end up doing a lot more than he realizes or gives me credit for! Sometimes I really consider going on strike! Well If nothing is done when I get home and his clothes are thrown everywhere, there's going to be some shoes thrown around our house tonight!

Thanks again for letting me vent!

Yikes Janine... I have noticed that most of your posts are "venting" about something between you and your husband. Is everything ok?

I know Hicham would be upset if he saw I was posting about our arguments or personal issues on VJ. Just remember anyone and everyone can read this.

My husband too Sarah. I think this is common with ME/NA men.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Well then I got to thinkin...you guys all call each other habibti and I know you don't "play for the other team" so what gives.

well darn. there goes a few ideas i had

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

Well I just found out that my husband went home earlier than early. He turned off his phone even though I had talked to him at 11 and told him that it's very important that he calls me back before he goes home and takes a nap! Well he didn't call and his phone is off so now I can't even get ahold of him and I needed to get this thing done before 5! I get get it done because the last thing I need is at my house and I wont be home until 5:15!!!!!!! Why?! And you know the thing that gets me the most, he is probably taking a nap right now while all those dishes are in the sink and on the counter! I get about 5 - 6 hours of sleep a night and he has the nerve to tell me that I am not as tired as he is when he gets close to over 80 hours of sleep a week! He always complains about being tired and working to hard, yet he always says, "...when you work as hard and as much as i do!" I swear I work just as hard and just as long, and I end up doing a lot more than he realizes or gives me credit for! Sometimes I really consider going on strike! Well If nothing is done when I get home and his clothes are thrown everywhere, there's going to be some shoes thrown around our house tonight!

Thanks again for letting me vent!

Yikes Janine... I have noticed that most of your posts are "venting" about something between you and your husband. Is everything ok?

I know Hicham would be upset if he saw I was posting about our arguments or personal issues on VJ. Just remember anyone and everyone can read this.

Sarah,

Just to get things straight, I am well aware that this is a public forum! He knows that I have posted about him on here and tells me that it's good that I have friends that can help me out with my issues. Especially when I know some of these women are dealing with the same sorta stuff. I come her for support and there are pleanty of women here willing to lend an ear(eye) to help. It's not like I actually tell you when we have a fight or what it's about! I have no doubt in my mind that we love each other, I just think we still have some adjusting to do with living with each other. They do say the first year is the hardest.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Well I just found out that my husband went home earlier than early. He turned off his phone even though I had talked to him at 11 and told him that it's very important that he calls me back before he goes home and takes a nap! Well he didn't call and his phone is off so now I can't even get ahold of him and I needed to get this thing done before 5! I get get it done because the last thing I need is at my house and I wont be home until 5:15!!!!!!! Why?! And you know the thing that gets me the most, he is probably taking a nap right now while all those dishes are in the sink and on the counter! I get about 5 - 6 hours of sleep a night and he has the nerve to tell me that I am not as tired as he is when he gets close to over 80 hours of sleep a week! He always complains about being tired and working to hard, yet he always says, "...when you work as hard and as much as i do!" I swear I work just as hard and just as long, and I end up doing a lot more than he realizes or gives me credit for! Sometimes I really consider going on strike! Well If nothing is done when I get home and his clothes are thrown everywhere, there's going to be some shoes thrown around our house tonight!

Thanks again for letting me vent!

Yikes Janine... I have noticed that most of your posts are "venting" about something between you and your husband. Is everything ok?

I know Hicham would be upset if he saw I was posting about our arguments or personal issues on VJ. Just remember anyone and everyone can read this.

Sarah,

Just to get things straight, I am well aware that this is a public forum! He knows that I have posted about him on here and tells me that it's good that I have friends that can help me out with my issues. Especially when I know some of these women are dealing with the same sorta stuff. I come her for support and there are pleanty of women here willing to lend an ear(eye) to help. It's not like I actually tell you when we have a fight or what it's about! I have no doubt in my mind that we love each other, I just think we still have some adjusting to do with living with each other. They do say the first year is the hardest.

I understand that you come here for support and I think that's great. I guess some of the women here feel ok with sharing every little thing they don't like about their husband or something he did to upset them. I don't. For me it's personal, but besides that Hicham always helps clean up and do dishes without even asking him to help. He comes home from working for 10 hours and helps me clean up after we eat dinner.

Also, I am curious to know why you said "my issues"? Did your husband tell you they are your issues? Aren't they his issues also?

Anyways that's fine I just thought I would remind everyone that anyone can read this board. If my husband was on here complaining about something I did everyday I would be upset because for us that is personal and we don't like to share with the world when we don't like something the other one did.

Like Bosco said, I think it is definitely normal for MENA men to not like sharing their personal info, especially arguments with his wife with everyone- especially on the internet.

[Bosco 1]

Sarah,

Just to get things straight, I am well aware that this is a public forum! He knows that I have posted about him on here and tells me that it's good that I have friends that can help me out with my issues. Especially when I know some of these women are dealing with the same sorta stuff. I come her for support and there are pleanty of women here willing to lend an ear(eye) to help. It's not like I actually tell you when we have a fight or what it's about! I have no doubt in my mind that we love each other, I just think we still have some adjusting to do with living with each other. They do say the first year is the hardest.

Janine,

I don't think Sarah was questioning whether or not you love each other or whether or not it is good (even necessary) to get support at times. I think she was trying to be helpful just in case it could potentially make a problem in your marriage. If he knows, that is great. Also, in case you don't know, there are some Yahoo groups for women in these marriages. You may get more people who engage in discussion about the same problems because they feel more free to reply since the groups are not open to the public (some husband's are more private, including mine). Anyway, I think she was trying to look out for you.

Rebecca

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

I understand that you come here for support and I think that's great. I guess some of the women here feel ok with sharing every little thing they don't like about their husband or something he did to upset them. I don't. For me it's personal, but besides that Hicham always helps clean up and do dishes without even asking him to help. He comes home from working for 10 hours and helps me clean up after we eat dinner.

Also, I am curious to know why you said "my issues"? Did your husband tell you they are your issues? Aren't they his issues also?

Anyways that's fine I just thought I would remind everyone that anyone can read this board. If my husband was on here complaining about something I did everyday I would be upset because for us that is personal and we don't like to share with the world when we don't like something the other one did.

Like Bosco said, I think it is definitely normal for MENA men to not like sharing their personal info, especially arguments with his wife with everyone- especially on the internet.

Well you are a lucky one I guess.

I'm going home now!

Have a good night everyone

Edited October 19, 2006 by Mrs. Forgetful

[sarah and hicham 3]

Sarah,

Just to get things straight, I am well aware that this is a public forum! He knows that I have posted about him on here and tells me that it's good that I have friends that can help me out with my issues. Especially when I know some of these women are dealing with the same sorta stuff. I come her for support and there are pleanty of women here willing to lend an ear(eye) to help. It's not like I actually tell you when we have a fight or what it's about! I have no doubt in my mind that we love each other, I just think we still have some adjusting to do with living with each other. They do say the first year is the hardest.

Janine,

I don't think Sarah was questioning whether or not you love each other or whether or not it is good (even necessary) to get support at times. I think she was trying to be helpful just in case it could potentially make a problem in your marriage. If he knows, that is great. Also, in case you don't know, there are some Yahoo groups for women in these marriages. You may get more people who engage in discussion about the same problems because they feel more free to reply since the groups are not open to the public (some husband's are more private, including mine). Anyway, I think she was trying to look out for you.

Rebecca

Yep, I definitely was not questioning whether or not you love eachother... just keeping my eyes open for you!

[Veiled Princess 1]

Also, I am curious to know why you said "my issues"? Did your husband tell you they are your issues? Aren't they his issues also?

Sarah, you have got to be one of the most hateful people on VJ.

...but besides that Hicham always helps clean up and do dishes without even asking him to help. He comes home from working for 10 hours and helps me clean up after we eat dinner....

[jordanianprincess 0]

Also, I am curious to know why you said "my issues"? Did your husband tell you they are your issues? Aren't they his issues also?

Sarah, you have got to be one of the most hateful people on VJ.

VP with all due respect it has become quite obvious to me that you constatnly feel the need to monitor every one of Sarah's posts. Anyway thanks for patrolling the boards, here is your badge!

[sarah and hicham 3]

Also, I am curious to know why you said "my issues"? Did your husband tell you they are your issues? Aren't they his issues also?

Sarah, you have got to be one of the most hateful people on VJ.

...but besides that Hicham always helps clean up and do dishes without even asking him to help. He comes home from working for 10 hours and helps me clean up after we eat dinner....

What? VP coming after me again? How surprising!

So funny how even when several people say the same thing as me I am the one you single out every time. What's the deal?

Honestly, why do you feel the need to monitor my posts everyday?

I guess you're my biggest fan

[chri'stina 190]

I think Sarah was probably just brave enough to post what she did, while other people may just be thinking it.

Sure, I don't like people putting down others and would not encourage that. But I think it's risky to complain about one's spouse/fiance too much on VJ. To those who don't know you well, it looks very negative concerning a relationship when it happens too much. I think details about annoyances with a fiance/spouse are best left to PMs or chatting with ppl you trust or know better. That's just me. Sujeet would be very annoyed if I came and posted about arguments we had or things that he was doing that was bothering me, instead of talking to him about it. And he would never post his annoyances with me on the net either. I would be upset if he did that instead of just talking to me about it.

It's just risky to post it, that's all. And I'd highly caution anyone who does it since this is a very public place. I know someone may feel they can trust this regional section and write all this stuff, but for some outsiders like me, it can look like bigger problems going on, not little problems. *shrug*

Edited October 19, 2006 by stina&suj