Miltary suicides

[Captain Oates 911]

Military suicides have now passed combat deaths for the whole period of the Afghanistan deployment

Remind me -- what have we achieved ?

A veteran commits suicide every 80 minutes in the USA

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Military suicides have now passed combat deaths for the whole period of the Afghanistan deployment

Remind me -- what have we achieved ?

A veteran commits suicide every 80 minutes in the USA

We achieved a big fat zero and most of us with half a brain knew that was going to happen when we invaded that place. Apparently the college educated politicians either failed to realize that themselves or they just didn't care enough seeing how it wasn't them that was going to be putting their ####### on the line in that country.

[Captain Oates 911]

We achieved a big fat zero and most of us with half a brain knew that was going to happen when we invaded that place. Apparently the college educated politicians either failed to realize that themselves or they just didn't care enough seeing how it wasn't them that was going to be putting their ####### on the line in that country.

Seems to me that all the arab al quada had cleared off to pakistan/yemen/somalia etc before we arrived - and so it was just a slugging match between the afghans/pakistanis and us on the basis you don't like us and we don't like you

What a dump that place is

It has chewed up all sorts of empires including the Brits at their peak and the Soviet army and now us

How many more will die before withdrawal in 2014

oh well on to the next. Next stop Teheran ?

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Seems to me that all the arab al quada had cleared off to pakistan/yemen/somalia etc before we arrived - and so it was just a slugging match between the afghans/pakistanis and us on the basis you don't like us and we don't like you

What a dump that place is

It has chewed up all sorts of empires including the Brits at their peak and the Soviet army and now us

How many more will die before withdrawal in 2014

oh well on to the next. Next stop Teheran ?

It's not like the old days when they had the Vietnam protest and the media had a spine. If they were to enable the draft like they did back then you would have seen more protesting but the fact that the US media sold this country out is unacceptable. No breaking stories like when Cronkite was still alive and behind a desk.

[sara..... 371]

seems to me and this is just my own opinion.......... that we have accomplished creating more terrorist than ben what ever did (wont honor him by using his full name) by fighting this war (wars) that we have.......going into countries we had no business in using collateral damage as the defense when we are asked about the amount of death and physical damage to the innocent....

we had enemy's before but the amount that we have now ...... there just is no way for us to win this war we are in.

again just my own opinion

sara

[Captain Oates 911]

It's not like the old days when they had the Vietnam protest and the media had a spine. If they were to enable the draft like they did back then you would have seen more protesting but the fact that the US media sold this country out is unacceptable. No breaking stories like when Cronkite was still alive and behind a desk.

Everyone knows that the USA WORSHIPS its military more than any other country.

The media concentrate on worshiping the military when if they really wanted to do them a favor, it would start pushing to stop all these scrappy wars which always end up with no tangible result and the military and their families being chewed up in a meat grinder

The media make it hard for people to oppose the wars and support the troops - and try and say it has to be support for both or nothing

It worked that way way with Vietnam where opposition to the war resulted in opposition to the Military and that was wrong - there should have been a split between the two issues

Who can doubt that Iraq and Afghanistan will revert to a total civil war mess in the next few years.

The winning factions in Iraq will start squabbling over the oil revenues and Afghanistan is Afghanistan and has never needed an excuse to start scrapping either among themselves or with others

We need to be able to support the troops but oppose the stupid wars - how we do that I don't know

Volunteer armies come in 2 types - mercenaries and patriots. Patriots are sent to do the bidding of governments and they have to trust their government as they don't know about the next war when they sign up

The government are not taking proper care of their armies - don't think they ever did - anywhere.

The 1814 vagrancy act in England dealt with returning soldiers from the Napoleonic wars - thrown into the street to beg for food.

Offenses included "exposing wounds and deformities to gain alms"

Things don't change much

Edited July 12, 2012 by Ashud Cocoa

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Everyone knows that the USA WORSHIPS its military more than any other country.

The media concentrate on worshiping the military when if they really wanted to do them a favor, it would start pushing to stop all these scrappy wars which always end up with no tangible result and the military and their families being chewed up in a meat grinder

The media make it hard for people to oppose the wars and support the troops - and try and say it has to be support for both or nothing

It worked that way way with Vietnam where opposition to the war resulted in opposition to the Military and that was wrong - there should have been a split between the two issues

Who can doubt that Iraq and Afghanistan will revert to a total civil war mess in the next few years.

The winning factions in Iraq will start squabbling over the oil revenues and Afghanistan is Afghanistan and has never needed an excuse to start scrapping either among themselves or with others

We need to be able to support the troops but oppose the stupid wars - how we do that I don't know

Volunteer armies come in 2 types - mercenaries and patriots. Patriots are sent to do the bidding of governments and they have to trust their government as they don't know about the next war when they sign up

The government are not taking proper care of their armies - don't think they ever did - anywhere.

The 1814 vagrancy act in England dealt with returning soldiers from the Napoleonic wars - thrown into the street to beg for food.

Offenses included "exposing wounds and deformities to gain alms"

Things don't change much

Pat Tillman

[Obama 2012 1,714]

Military suicides have now passed combat deaths for the whole period of the Afghanistan deployment

Remind me -- what have we achieved ?

A veteran commits suicide every 80 minutes in the USA

Minuscule population control.

[Captain Oates 911]

Pat Tillman

Refreshing:

Religious and political beliefs

Krakauer described Tillman as "agnostic, perhaps an atheist",[54] while later news reports state he was an atheist.[55][56][57][58] According to speakers at his funeral, he was very well-read, having read a number of religious texts including the Bible, Qur’an and Book of Mormon as well as transcendentalist authors such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. However, responding to religious overtones at the funeral by Maria Shriver and John McCain, his youngest brother, Richard, asserted that "He's not with God, he's f***ing dead. He's not religious." Richard added, "Thanks for your thoughts, but he's f***ing dead."[59] Another article quotes Tillman as having told then-general manager of the Seattle Seahawks Bob Ferguson in December 2003, "You know I'm not religious.

The US is to be commended for bring all this out even though the top brass tried to spin it. I once dealt with the death of a British secret service agent in South America. His body was returned with 6 bullet holes in his back. The Coroner's verdict was "heart attack"

The UK is a far more secretive society on this of thing

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Refreshing:

Religious and political beliefs

Krakauer described Tillman as "agnostic, perhaps an atheist",[54] while later news reports state he was an atheist.[55][56][57][58] According to speakers at his funeral, he was very well-read, having read a number of religious texts including the Bible, Qur’an and Book of Mormon as well as transcendentalist authors such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. However, responding to religious overtones at the funeral by Maria Shriver and John McCain, his youngest brother, Richard, asserted that "He's not with God, he's f***ing dead. He's not religious." Richard added, "Thanks for your thoughts, but he's f***ing dead."[59] Another article quotes Tillman as having told then-general manager of the Seattle Seahawks Bob Ferguson in December 2003, "You know I'm not religious.

The US is to be commended for bring all this out even though the top brass tried to spin it. I once dealt with the death of a British secret service agent in South America. His body was returned with 6 bullet holes in his back. The Coroner's verdict was "heart attack"

The UK is a far more secretive society on this of thing

I watched a 90 min. documentary done on Pat Tillman on HBO and it didn't leave anything out. They had the politicians including the president on the ropes. Pat was an NFL star and that's the reason he got so much publicity. Think about the ones you don't hear about.

[slim 1,525]

While every service member's story is different, I can only share my own.

I struggled with a lot of guilt, and then an enormous sense of abandonment and even some betrayal while serving in the military.

It started back in 2000. I was serving in Korea and there was a protest at the main gate of the base I was protecting. "Americans go home. No more occupation." Etc., etc., was written on the signs of the protesters. I smiled inside because this was true freedom. These folks were having a peaceful protest and engaging their own government in petition for redress. The police weren't beating them. They didn't make them take down the signs. They didn't make them go home. They permitted them to stand in front of the American base and lift their voices.

This was liberty and I was proud to be part of the reason these folks could exercise their rights.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Less than a year earlier I'd been protecting a country ruled by a tyrannical monarch who would chop off the heads of people who spoke out against his policies. They didn't have freedom. They didn't have a voice to raise. They couldn't exercise their liberties.

I was protecting that king's authority to oppress everyone in his country.

And the worst part? My government told me it was the same thing.

Any reasonable person knows it's not the same thing. Anyone in their right mind knows what they're doing is immoral. And yet, we're told to "support our brothers in arms" and "support the mission" but at the end of the day, it's all bull$#!t. What we're doing over there to those brown people is no different than what the government is doing here to these brown people.

They package it differently and call it something else, but it's the same thing. The American Dream is a farce. It is the root of all evil in our country and we're willing to kill anyone and everyone who dares question the authenticity of it.

It's easy in the beginning. The military is trained to be part of a team to the point where it doesn't even matter what you're doing... as long as you're helping your team. Eventually though, every enlistee figures it out.

I thank God I figured it out before I was forced to take someone's life. Each day I've lived since that day has been a gift. I'm able to enjoy the little things. To focus on what makes me happy. To really interact with those around me.

But it was a struggle at first. I became detached and dejected. I felt so bad for being part of that system (I didn't kill anybody but I supported the mission that did) that I withdrew from things and got more involved in drinking and dangerous behavior. I truly didn't care what happened to me because what I'd done was so wrong. Whenever I'd engage folks in the military about it, I was ostracized for not being part of the team anymore. How dare I step out of line and not believe in the mission.

I rotated back to the Middle East a couple times. I honestly hoped I'd be able to get killed in battle. That somehow all that bull$#!t that I'd endured would end up bringing honor to my family and they'd be proud of my service instead of ashamed of it the way I was. My attitude was poor and my dress and appearance reflected it.

Then I went back to Korea.

It was there that I'd basically separated from the military already. I'd gone back to experience life again on my own terms. To enjoy freedom. To be part of something wonderful. The people. The liberty. I basically freed my mind of my military servitude and allowed myself to enjoy the little things again.

I came home a short time later. I was discharged and came back to live the American Dream. But I don't dream the same way most folks do. I dream of covering an intersection with a machine gun. Yet, those same people who I'm overwatching aren't my enemies. They're my friends. I cover them because I love them. I cover them because it's with a clear conscience that I separated from the military and my life before.

I'm free.

Many of our service members aren't so free. They're bound by servitude and the expectation that they still need to cover each other "over there." That they have a responsibility to protect each other and accomplish the mission. They're guilted into "doing their part" and can't break free of that calling even though they've come to the realization that what they're doing isn't right.

Couple that with bills to pay back home. A wife that's shacked up with another dude. A commander that wants a reenlistment.

And an America that will never understand.

Boom.

[Karee 4,190]

While every service member's story is different, I can only share my own.

I struggled with a lot of guilt, and then an enormous sense of abandonment and even some betrayal while serving in the military.

It started back in 2000. I was serving in Korea and there was a protest at the main gate of the base I was protecting. "Americans go home. No more occupation." Etc., etc., was written on the signs of the protesters. I smiled inside because this was true freedom. These folks were having a peaceful protest and engaging their own government in petition for redress. The police weren't beating them. They didn't make them take down the signs. They didn't make them go home. They permitted them to stand in front of the American base and lift their voices.

This was liberty and I was proud to be part of the reason these folks could exercise their rights.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Less than a year earlier I'd been protecting a country ruled by a tyrannical monarch who would chop off the heads of people who spoke out against his policies. They didn't have freedom. They didn't have a voice to raise. They couldn't exercise their liberties.

I was protecting that king's authority to oppress everyone in his country.

And the worst part? My government told me it was the same thing.

Any reasonable person knows it's not the same thing. Anyone in their right mind knows what they're doing is immoral. And yet, we're told to "support our brothers in arms" and "support the mission" but at the end of the day, it's all bull$#!t. What we're doing over there to those brown people is no different than what the government is doing here to these brown people.

They package it differently and call it something else, but it's the same thing. The American Dream is a farce. It is the root of all evil in our country and we're willing to kill anyone and everyone who dares question the authenticity of it.

It's easy in the beginning. The military is trained to be part of a team to the point where it doesn't even matter what you're doing... as long as you're helping your team. Eventually though, every enlistee figures it out.

I thank God I figured it out before I was forced to take someone's life. Each day I've lived since that day has been a gift. I'm able to enjoy the little things. To focus on what makes me happy. To really interact with those around me.

But it was a struggle at first. I became detached and dejected. I felt so bad for being part of that system (I didn't kill anybody but I supported the mission that did) that I withdrew from things and got more involved in drinking and dangerous behavior. I truly didn't care what happened to me because what I'd done was so wrong. Whenever I'd engage folks in the military about it, I was ostracized for not being part of the team anymore. How dare I step out of line and not believe in the mission.

I rotated back to the Middle East a couple times. I honestly hoped I'd be able to get killed in battle. That somehow all that bull$#!t that I'd endured would end up bringing honor to my family and they'd be proud of my service instead of ashamed of it the way I was. My attitude was poor and my dress and appearance reflected it.

Then I went back to Korea.

It was there that I'd basically separated from the military already. I'd gone back to experience life again on my own terms. To enjoy freedom. To be part of something wonderful. The people. The liberty. I basically freed my mind of my military servitude and allowed myself to enjoy the little things again.

I came home a short time later. I was discharged and came back to live the American Dream. But I don't dream the same way most folks do. I dream of covering an intersection with a machine gun. Yet, those same people who I'm overwatching aren't my enemies. They're my friends. I cover them because I love them. I cover them because it's with a clear conscience that I separated from the military and my life before.

I'm free.

Many of our service members aren't so free. They're bound by servitude and the expectation that they still need to cover each other "over there." That they have a responsibility to protect each other and accomplish the mission. They're guilted into "doing their part" and can't break free of that calling even though they've come to the realization that what they're doing isn't right.

Couple that with bills to pay back home. A wife that's shacked up with another dude. A commander that wants a reenlistment.

And an America that will never understand.

Boom.

Not sure what to say since I've never been in that position. Good post though.

[X Factor 1,112]

I also tried to make sense when I was involved in Operation Desert Storm. I saw the sufferings of some of the Iraqi people. Mothers crying over the death of thier kids.

I also knew of abuse of some of my fellow soldiers. One kid in my tank platoon was a farm kid and never left home. He couldn't deal with pressure of war and so my entire platoon had our M9 Barettas taken from us ... because we were afraid he would turn on us. And this was in the middle of the war on the battle field.

War is an indescribable situation. Bottom line for my case - Bush #1 had a beef with Sadam Hussain and tens of thousands died for that. It would have been better for both of them to have a good old Western shoot out IMHO.

[Captain Oates 911]

While every service member's story is different, I can only share my own.

I struggled with a lot of guilt, and then an enormous sense of abandonment and even some betrayal while serving in the military.

It started back in 2000. I was serving in Korea and there was a protest at the main gate of the base I was protecting. "Americans go home. No more occupation." Etc., etc., was written on the signs of the protesters. I smiled inside because this was true freedom. These folks were having a peaceful protest and engaging their own government in petition for redress. The police weren't beating them. They didn't make them take down the signs. They didn't make them go home. They permitted them to stand in front of the American base and lift their voices.

This was liberty and I was proud to be part of the reason these folks could exercise their rights.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Less than a year earlier I'd been protecting a country ruled by a tyrannical monarch who would chop off the heads of people who spoke out against his policies. They didn't have freedom. They didn't have a voice to raise. They couldn't exercise their liberties.

I was protecting that king's authority to oppress everyone in his country.

And the worst part? My government told me it was the same thing.

Any reasonable person knows it's not the same thing. Anyone in their right mind knows what they're doing is immoral. And yet, we're told to "support our brothers in arms" and "support the mission" but at the end of the day, it's all bull$#!t. What we're doing over there to those brown people is no different than what the government is doing here to these brown people.

They package it differently and call it something else, but it's the same thing. The American Dream is a farce. It is the root of all evil in our country and we're willing to kill anyone and everyone who dares question the authenticity of it.

It's easy in the beginning. The military is trained to be part of a team to the point where it doesn't even matter what you're doing... as long as you're helping your team. Eventually though, every enlistee figures it out.

I thank God I figured it out before I was forced to take someone's life. Each day I've lived since that day has been a gift. I'm able to enjoy the little things. To focus on what makes me happy. To really interact with those around me.

But it was a struggle at first. I became detached and dejected. I felt so bad for being part of that system (I didn't kill anybody but I supported the mission that did) that I withdrew from things and got more involved in drinking and dangerous behavior. I truly didn't care what happened to me because what I'd done was so wrong. Whenever I'd engage folks in the military about it, I was ostracized for not being part of the team anymore. How dare I step out of line and not believe in the mission.

I rotated back to the Middle East a couple times. I honestly hoped I'd be able to get killed in battle. That somehow all that bull$#!t that I'd endured would end up bringing honor to my family and they'd be proud of my service instead of ashamed of it the way I was. My attitude was poor and my dress and appearance reflected it.

Then I went back to Korea.

It was there that I'd basically separated from the military already. I'd gone back to experience life again on my own terms. To enjoy freedom. To be part of something wonderful. The people. The liberty. I basically freed my mind of my military servitude and allowed myself to enjoy the little things again.

I came home a short time later. I was discharged and came back to live the American Dream. But I don't dream the same way most folks do. I dream of covering an intersection with a machine gun. Yet, those same people who I'm overwatching aren't my enemies. They're my friends. I cover them because I love them. I cover them because it's with a clear conscience that I separated from the military and my life before.

I'm free.

Many of our service members aren't so free. They're bound by servitude and the expectation that they still need to cover each other "over there." That they have a responsibility to protect each other and accomplish the mission. They're guilted into "doing their part" and can't break free of that calling even though they've come to the realization that what they're doing isn't right.

Couple that with bills to pay back home. A wife that's shacked up with another dude. A commander that wants a reenlistment.

And an America that will never understand.

Boom.

That's why I drew a distinction between mercenaries and patriots. Mercenaries fight in one war for money. In the UK, there was until recently the attitude regarding volunteer soldiers "oh they have only joined coz they can't get a job" and indeed the army advertising was all about regular pay, food, skiing in Norway - absolutely no mention of patriotism. Still isn't.

Bob Dylan wasn't helping with his "join the army if you fail" - but he was reflecting the side advantages of a job and money

I am sure that once the UK soldiers get into boot camp, they get the full treatment and are steaming hot patriots by the time they are assigned to their units.

In the US its different and society is full of patriot talk all the time.

The main thing is this Slim - once you sign up, the responsibility for the deal is not yours - you hand your life over to them. What happens isn't your fault - its theirs. You didn't make these alliances with these kings etc - they did. They decided the wars and the deployments not you. They should be ashamed where appropriate - not you.

All you do is do your best and sometimes that involves doing some nasty things that you were not ordered to do but you did it because you were there and you just did it

Soldiers and Police are drawn from the community - there are rapists and thieves and pedophiles in the army and the police - in every country in the world. That is why a lot of soldiers feel uncomfortable being put on a pedestal because they are just people with all the strengths and flaws of everyone else - not saints

I have seen the faces of returning soldiers in Chicago airport where these well meaning women are giving it "thank you for your service "- most of them look down and look shy. Its nice to be thanked but we are just people right and sometimes we are far from heroes and sometimes we are heroes but just for a short time.

My Police service included some bad stuff and some good stuff and I worked with a few saints and some bad guys and all sorts in between. I joined the Police because my girlfriend was pregnant and her dad was the police sergeant and I doubled my pay and got a free house. That's why. A lot of soldiers join for less reasons than that. Whatever the reason we all end up similarly disillusioned. My finest hour was when I told a mother that her 15 year old son was drowned in the river - she clung onto me and her stomach heaved and she was sick all over me and she barked for a full hour while I held her. When I got home I sneaked upstairs, got my clothes off and had a shower, went down and had my beans on toast and said nothing. Eventually it catches up with you and you get down. All I did was stand still for an hour and get vomited on ..

Boy did I do some bad stuff too but that's another story.

I was a coward too. I got called to a sewage works where a 80 ton screw has rotated unexpectedly in a pit and taken the technician under. I could see his leg cut off and he was under the screw. 40 guys looked at me and expected me to go down the pit by walking down the screw and check if he was alive. I chickened out as that screw could turn again at any second, and eventually the fire brigade came and they wrapped a rope round a guy's legs and lowered him down head first so he could see. The victims head was about an inch wide. I felt ashamed I hadn't risked it though. I was 19.

Conclusion - Mr Bush etc, please don't be so hasty with your wars and clean up your foreign policy and give your soldiers a chance to always feel pride in what they are doing. It's hard enough anyway so you can do that at least.

As Kipling put it

Title: Tommy

Author: Rudyard Kipling [More Titles by Kipling]

I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,

The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."

The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,

I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:

O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";

But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,

The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,

O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,

They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;

They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,

But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";

But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,

The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,

O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep

Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;

An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit

Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.

Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"

But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,

The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,

O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,

But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;

An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,

Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;

While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",

But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,

There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,

O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:

We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.

Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face

The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"

But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;

An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;

An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!

TOMMY

[PMartin37 161]

While every service member's story is different, I can only share my own.

I struggled with a lot of guilt, and then an enormous sense of abandonment and even some betrayal while serving in the military.

It started back in 2000. I was serving in Korea and there was a protest at the main gate of the base I was protecting. "Americans go home. No more occupation." Etc., etc., was written on the signs of the protesters. I smiled inside because this was true freedom. These folks were having a peaceful protest and engaging their own government in petition for redress. The police weren't beating them. They didn't make them take down the signs. They didn't make them go home. They permitted them to stand in front of the American base and lift their voices.

This was liberty and I was proud to be part of the reason these folks could exercise their rights.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Less than a year earlier I'd been protecting a country ruled by a tyrannical monarch who would chop off the heads of people who spoke out against his policies. They didn't have freedom. They didn't have a voice to raise. They couldn't exercise their liberties.

I was protecting that king's authority to oppress everyone in his country.

And the worst part? My government told me it was the same thing.

Any reasonable person knows it's not the same thing. Anyone in their right mind knows what they're doing is immoral. And yet, we're told to "support our brothers in arms" and "support the mission" but at the end of the day, it's all bull$#!t. What we're doing over there to those brown people is no different than what the government is doing here to these brown people.

They package it differently and call it something else, but it's the same thing. The American Dream is a farce. It is the root of all evil in our country and we're willing to kill anyone and everyone who dares question the authenticity of it.

It's easy in the beginning. The military is trained to be part of a team to the point where it doesn't even matter what you're doing... as long as you're helping your team. Eventually though, every enlistee figures it out.

I thank God I figured it out before I was forced to take someone's life. Each day I've lived since that day has been a gift. I'm able to enjoy the little things. To focus on what makes me happy. To really interact with those around me.

But it was a struggle at first. I became detached and dejected. I felt so bad for being part of that system (I didn't kill anybody but I supported the mission that did) that I withdrew from things and got more involved in drinking and dangerous behavior. I truly didn't care what happened to me because what I'd done was so wrong. Whenever I'd engage folks in the military about it, I was ostracized for not being part of the team anymore. How dare I step out of line and not believe in the mission.

I rotated back to the Middle East a couple times. I honestly hoped I'd be able to get killed in battle. That somehow all that bull$#!t that I'd endured would end up bringing honor to my family and they'd be proud of my service instead of ashamed of it the way I was. My attitude was poor and my dress and appearance reflected it.

Then I went back to Korea.

It was there that I'd basically separated from the military already. I'd gone back to experience life again on my own terms. To enjoy freedom. To be part of something wonderful. The people. The liberty. I basically freed my mind of my military servitude and allowed myself to enjoy the little things again.

I came home a short time later. I was discharged and came back to live the American Dream. But I don't dream the same way most folks do. I dream of covering an intersection with a machine gun. Yet, those same people who I'm overwatching aren't my enemies. They're my friends. I cover them because I love them. I cover them because it's with a clear conscience that I separated from the military and my life before.

I'm free.

Many of our service members aren't so free. They're bound by servitude and the expectation that they still need to cover each other "over there." That they have a responsibility to protect each other and accomplish the mission. They're guilted into "doing their part" and can't break free of that calling even though they've come to the realization that what they're doing isn't right.

Couple that with bills to pay back home. A wife that's shacked up with another dude. A commander that wants a reenlistment.

And an America that will never understand.

Boom.

Thanks for that post. It's good that you can come out of it with the realizations that you did. I have family members that have been back numerous times and have seen their friend's refer to it as " a paid vacation". I'm relieved to hear at least one soldier that hasn't referred to it as such. I'm not sure if this was macho talk on their part or their actual feelings but I'm constantly torn between supporting our troops here and knowing deep down that there is no end to the conflict over there. I was always against the war in Iraq because I always feared what has come to pass. Like all other Americans, I would see Bush on television repeating over and over "stay the course" while all the while screaming we are so off course we'll never return!!! But to say that in public, I could be deemed "unpatriotic". My brother did some contract work over there and still thinks we "won"- whatever that means.

I'm glad you posted this.