Anybody else's family have issues with you moving?

[Holly2234 66]

How is/has everybody else's family taken the news that they are moving to the USA?

My family currently seems to think they can change my mind or somehow get us to stay in the UK. Even if we wanted to (we don't and we both currently live here), we don't meet the new immigration rules over here to be able to stay.

It seems to be never ending guilt trips or suggestions of job vacancies that aren't helpful to us right now. Ive not heard a single positive thing yet and its starting to get old.

[Peachey 10]

Most of my family was supportive... except my dad. He still tries to convince me to move back to Canada, and is kinda rude to my husband. I'm sad that my dad and I don't have a good relationship anymore, basically because he doesn't realize that I've grown up and can make big girl decisions.

[HelenBradley 28]

How is/has everybody else's family taken the news that they are moving to the USA?

My family currently seems to think they can change my mind or somehow get us to stay in the UK. Even if we wanted to (we don't and we both currently live here), we don't meet the new immigration rules over here to be able to stay.

It seems to be never ending guilt trips or suggestions of job vacancies that aren't helpful to us right now. Ive not heard a single positive thing yet and its starting to get old.

I would be willing to bet money that you have kids

You just have to let it wash right over you and maybe try to reassure your family that you will visit and they can visit.

My family were fine about it all. We don't have any kids yet

Taking grandkids or nieces/nephews out of the country is an emotional thing for families. I anticipate at least some family guilt about distance when we decide to have kids.

[Messybrownhair 251]

I think its thier way of saying they will miss you a lot. My dad did the same thing. He even joked about hoping I failed my interview. Im his only daughter and we are very close, i know it was not easy for him to let me go. Probably same 4 u

[sms78 18]

my family loves my husband and my in-laws and are so supportive! BUT I know my grandparents have a high hope that our marriage fails and I fly right back. That's what family do

[Xanax 349]

My family LOVE my partner but they miss me very much. Even when I left for holidays they would cry! My Mum sends me care packages all the time, my brothers call me almost daily. My family did not want me to move but they understand we can afford MUCH more on our incomes in the US than Australia.

We plan to move back to Australia eventually so that gives them something to look forward to, plus our yearly visits (they come here once and we go there once is the plan).

I think the guilt trips are part of it, but your family I am sure is proud of you for going out of your comfort zone and following your heart.

Edited July 12, 2012 by Xanax

[GandK 168]

My mother definitely wants me to stay in Denmark but I already made up my mind very long time ago that the lifestyle here doesn't not suit me.

My father and most of my family are in Thailand, my mom and younger brother are in Denmark. My older sister lives in Chicago and now I am moving to Hawaii.

Guess we are pretty global. The world is much smaller than it used to be.

[L&SH 0]

Thank you for starting this thread,my plans to move to the US are causing major problems for my very independant 25 year old daughter who apparently can't cope with the thought of my leaving. The guilt trips are constant & increasing in intensity to the point they are becoming unbearable. I see her about once every few months & we exchange tests & skype & no matter how much i try to explain to her that we can still keep up that contact & she can come to the US to visit whenever ahe wants, she just cries. I will miss her & my son very much but the world is not so big anymore that this should become such an issue. I am at my wits end, i know you can never please everybody all the time but what should i do? Stay here & give up on having any kind of life of my own. I could understand it if she was a fair bit younger, silly me for thinking that she may be happy for me. Kids eh? So now i am the worlds worst mum & i am abandoning my daughter in her mind. The stress of the immigration process in itself is high enough without this as well.

It is so good to see this topic & to know i am not alone.

[Holly2234 66]

Thanks for the input everyone Yes i do have a daughter. I know everyone will miss us and i will miss them, but why is it so hard for people to accept that this is what we need and want to do? No matter how much i explain the logical side of things, they just seem to think immigration is simple and we can go where we want.... I wish!

L&SH, Your daughter will be just fine! It is probably the thought of being without you or not having you close by. In reality, when the time comes and you have visits, you will probably spend more quality time together and it will be more special than ever before. I would be very happy if my mum found a man she wanted to be with! Thats one of my worries actually, she has gone back to a waste of space man the second she found out we were leaving. But i know she can make her own decisions so i keep my mouth shut on that one! I do think once children are older, parents do need to start making themselves happy. Do what is best for you now. You are a lot more use to your kids if youre happy than if youre not!

[mamaSue 38]

My only family... my daughter who was 25 when I moved to the US, was fine about it.

She'd already done a year in Australia, and was very independent.

Her only comment was "Can you get a house with a pool?? I need a pool!"

We're in a lucky position.... she can come to visit me several times a year, as she's a flight attendant on British Airways, and we skype at least 3 times a week, Facebook daily, and play online games together.

[Patsgal54 18]

My mum and dad are struggling with it. We are really close and I know they don't want me to go. Every time I tell them something good has happened with my application I can tell they are trying to be happy for me but are actually not. I think they thought that I would change my mind, but now that I'm nearing the end of the process and they can see that I'm not going to, they are getting upset. It makes me feel guilty sometimes, but I know that I am doing the right thing. It will be very difficult to say goodbye to them, but I cannot wait to be with my fiance.

[no one 2 0]

Sometimes I wonder if parents forget that they raised us to be our own independant people. My fiance's mum said she would miss my fiance....but would never stop her kids doing anything. Also, think they don't realize that they would rather we be happy and far away than sad and close. I think all their guilt trips and emotions are based on love and fear of losing contact. But there are so many ways to stay in contact these days in real time. It's always better in person but not impossible like it was years ago.

My fiance is flying to me today and his mum already has her first visit booked later this year.

[MatthewNCarolina 73]

My parents absolutely love my husband, they were/are very thankful that he was the one I wanted to share my life with but while waiting for NOA2, interview, etc my mother did try to change my mind several times, even the day before I left. Sometimes she would be really nasty and say things that I bet she regrets now, things like "I'm sure all of this will fail and when it fails what are you going to do there?" or "I doubt that you both are in love like this, he could move here and see if it really works, if not just divorce and that's it". Those kinds of comments and "suggestions" were really hard on me because you are already suffering with all the wait and distance and not having the support you would like to it makes even worse.

On the other hand with my dad, whom I am really close to, until 5 days before I left he never said one negative word to me and were always excited to hear updates about the visa. It did hurt me like crazy days before I left seeing my dad walking around the house with his head down or staring at me with sad eyes, it made me feel horrible inside and even though I was so happy to finally have the visa in hand and the flight booked, excited to finally be able to marry my baby it was really hard and made me feel guilty. It still does sometimes.

The day I left it had all the crying and sad faces, I have no idea how I could walk away... Thankful I had my fiance (now husband) with me. Now my parents seem to be really happy for us, they know we love each other more than anything and here is where I belong, beside the love of my life. I try to call them at least once a week through Skype but since they don't know how to use a computer at all I am not able to see them on camera, just talk on the phone.

Trust me, once you get to U.S and your family sees that you are happy and things are doing good, they will be just fine. Try to keep in touch as much as you can, so they don't think you forgot them and just let time help them adjust to the idea of you moving. Good luck!

Edited July 12, 2012 by MatthewNCarolina

[bsd058 296]

Well, considering that once I move to Florida, I will actually be closer to my family than where I live right now in Canada (Western Canada), they are pretty happy about that! Once I've finally moved, I will be able to book cheap flights from Orlando to Detroit! My wife and I do not have to spend all of our saved up money every year visiting either her family or mine and only on Christmas!!

[Holly2234 66]

Ive tried to set my mum up on Skype and Facebook and stuff but she either doesnt listen when i explain how to use it or says she is too old for Facebook Ive installed Skype on her laptop to log in when she turns it on, not that she knows/remembers! But at least i can call it and hope she picks up.

I tend not to tell her how things are going because i feel guilty for it! She does ask every time she sees me but not in an approving way. More of "That visa thing". She didnt think i was going to go until last night when she called with more guilt trips and i just had to tell her like it is. Then came the "What if you dont like it?" Really, i have to make it work. Does she think we are going to live in separate countries and fight over who has our daughter even though there is a way for us to be together?